I hit him on the arm knowing he was referring to our lustful relationship. He gave me a reassuring hug.
“It will be okay, Tiponi needs you too,” he said with confidence.
I shook my head. To think, I almost let him go. Jack was secure enough to be happy for me through every literary award. He was not in the background, he was right there with me. I was proud to have him at my side. He had refinement and a style all this own that really stood out. All this in a handsome package too!
Jack looked at me and I saw that familiar benevolent look.
“You look tired. Should we head back to the reservation?”
“No, I am not tired. There are so many things that Tiponi said to me that are haunting me now.”
I pulled him close to me and curled in his arm. “I don’t want to move. Let me stay in your arms. That is all I want.”
~18~
Rides With Fury
The following morning Jack and I went to see Tiponi. I was prepared to have him reject me and therefore never know the end to his tale. At this point I really did not care if he had an accurate account. I was hooked on this new found family of mine and wanted to know the outcome.
I was grateful to have Jack accompany me. I knew that Tiponi liked him and he might serve as a buffer. I hugged him as we approached the house. “I am so glad you are here.”
Outside his door I looked over to Jack. I could smell a distinct odor coming from the house. It was not the smell of something cooking.
“Do I smell what I think I smell?”
Jack smiled and nodded his head in agreement. It was definitely the smell of reefer. We entered the room. Tiponi was sitting on the floor … getting high!
He looked at us and offered his pipe.
“We cannot insult him now,” I said, so only Jack could hear me.
I looked at Tiponi. I did not know what to say to make up for the previous day.
He sensed my hesitation.
“Bearing a grudge is only for the weak in spirit.” He said as he smiled. “Come, sit,” he said as he pointed out a spot on the floor.
“I have plenty of good food to munch on later. What I have to share with you today will leave you with a warm heart.”
We sat across from Tiponi and when he offered the pipe I took a hit. I handed it to Jack and he did the same. I made sure the tape recorder was working, so nothing was lost.
~
The marijuana incident really helped to patch things up with Tiponi. He told me later that he was as anxious to tell the story as I was to hear it. He noticed from that day forward that I had grown. I had learned to be more careful with my words and attitude. I in fact felt very different.
~
Rebecca had been with the Crow Indians for several months. She seldom left her tent. She was miserable, lonely and depressed. She tried to think of ways to escape. Escape to what? Her possibility for survival in a country she knew little about was as fatal as she viewed her life with these savages.
Running Wolf was not unkind to Rebecca. He tried to make her comfortable and did not force any affection on her. It was hard for him to have a woman living and sleeping in the same place as he and not be able to touch her. His life had become a mystery to him. When he hunted he was skillful. In battle he was feared and respected by the enemy. He was not a coward but this woman terrified him. She was hateful toward him and would hurt him every chance she had. She would not respond to the other women no matter what gentleness they extended to her.
It was more than he could bear. It was his faith that kept him going. He believed that the Great Spirit would not condemn him to a life of misery, when he had obeyed his calling. This belief sustained him. However, things did not change and he grew weary. One day he decided that what he had been told might not be what was intended. Maybe he had misinterpreted the intentions of the Creator?
Rebecca was contemptible and he was not sure it would ever change. He found it hard to believe the Great Spirit would have him so dejected by a woman that he had shown nothing but kindness.
Rides With Fury was the elder in the camp whose wisdom was reverenced. He was the holy man who had interpreted Running Wolf’s dream as well as others. After the death of Black Bear, Running Wolf would often seek counsel of this holy man. Rides With Fury had also been married to a white woman for many years. She was a woman well respected and loved among the people. Running Wolf had thought that in time this is what would have happened when he took this white woman to be his bride. The wife of Rides With Fury was killed during the same raid on the village that took the life of Long Summer Day. Rides With Fury had lived with that woman for over thirty years. When she was killed the wise man of the tribe found he was a very lonely man.
Rides With Fury was getting on in age. He did not go into battle, in fact, he was not to enter into a war because his value as a guide was not to be tampered with or risked by threat of death during a war.
One day Rides With Fury approached Running Wolf. He asked him to come in and smoke. Running Wolf was relieved when Rides With Fury approached him. His pride as a man had not allowed him to approach his mentor. He feared he was not doing something right with Rebecca. There had to be a reason for her rejection of him.
Since Rides With Fury had come to him he would confide in him today. Maybe a man who had been married to someone of this strange race would have some answers.
They entered his tent and the holy man lit his pipe and handed it to Running Wolf. Running Wolf knew him well enough to know that he also had something of importance in his heart. Rides With Fury circumvented any small talk and went directly to the matter within his heart. He pulled out a bow that was wrapped in a chamois. It was his tool he had used in battle and for hunting the buffalo. He had owned it since he was first married. He offered it to Running Wolf.
“I would like for you to have this,” he said giving the treasure freely.
Running Wolf admired the bow and was honored that he was bestowed such a cherished gift.
“What would you like in return?” he asked his mentor.
“I would like to take your mother as my wife,” he said without hesitation.
Running Wolf’s mouth dropped open.
“I know that I do not need to ask your permission. It is just a matter of the great respect I have for you,” Rides With Fury said. “When your father left I took you in my heart as my son.”
Running Wolf was very moved by his words. He too had come to view Rides With Fury as his mentor and a surrogate father. He had noticed that since Rides With Fury had lost his wife his mother would take extra care to be sure that he had food. She had carefully tanned a buffalo hide for him.
Running Wolf had not taken into account that his mother was lonely. As a son he did not consider that his mother still had the needs of a woman. Running Wolf in his quest to provide and protect just did not notice. He suddenly felt somewhat foolish for not seeing this.
“What are the wishes of my mother?” he questioned.
Rides With Fury chuckled at the ambivalence of the younger man. Someday he too would know the possibility of love and passion as he aged.
“We have found love,” he assured him.
Running Wolf sat for a moment. He felt a pang of betrayal to his father and realized that it was selfish and foolish. Rides With Fury was a man of great honor and he would certainly provide companionship for his mother. Running Wolf could undoubtedly see to it that they were well taken care of when he hunted. He deeply inhaled the smoke.
“I am honored that you would come to me. I am sure that you will spend many sunsets happy together. I am glad that the two of you are no longer alone.”
Rides With Fury shook his head as he smoked. He had a look of contentment that warmed the heart of Running Wolf. He smiled as they smoked. He thought about the upcoming season.
The winter would be arriving soon. The tribe would be moving to their winter habitant. After the first snow the hunting season would come to an end for that year. Until the first thun
der the nomads spent much of their time in the confines of their lodge. It was usually the time of great story telling.
It was only the beginning of winter yet it seemed an eternity to Running Wolf. He did not know how they would survive the winter together in his lodge. He had grown exhausted of the wife he had taken. It was beyond his comprehension why she could not be happy.
He stared into the fire deep in thought. Rides With Fury knew that the young man had been so miserable. He took the opportunity to help him discuss the matters of his heart.
“Now that we have my life settled. Let us talk about yours,” the old man said looking at the somewhat surprised but relieved look on the face of his young chief.
“You look so unhappy, my son,” he began. “Is there something that you need to talk about?” He was direct.
Running Wolf searched for the right words.
“I want to stay true to the wishes of my forefathers and fulfill my dream but this woman! She is like the ice that forms over the water and kills all that is alive around her.”
Rides With Fury continued to smoke and let Running Wolf vent his frustration.
“I have tried to be a good husband to her. My heart is sad because she will not let me touch her. I don’t even want to. It is hard to touch ice without wanting to pull away,” he sighed.
“She is mean-spirited to everyone. She does not respect my mother. I cannot face the winter in a tipi with a woman who has a heart of stone.”
He inhaled from the pipe and continued, grateful to have someone who would listen.
“If she were a man, her long white-man scalp would be part of my collection.”
Running Wolf shook his head.
“It is my fault. When I saw her in the prairie she was running through the water and turning around in circles. I should have known that her mind was not right. Instead I thought she had strong medicine.”
Rides With Fury had not known how Running Wolf had been so patient with the intolerable white woman. He understood. They talked as they continued to smoke. Together they devised a solution.
~19~
Rebecca’s Change of Heart
The following day, Rides With Fury saw Rebecca standing outside the tipi. He approached her with much trepidation.
“Would you please come with me? Your husband and I have something to show you.”
Rebecca was overjoyed to learn there was someone who could understand her.
“You speak English?” she asked. “I did not know there was anyone here who could talk to me.”
“Yes, and you would have known that had you spent some time outside your tent and among us.”
He could not resist the opportunity to show her his disapproval of her behavior toward Running Wolf and the rest of the clan. He had seen how she turned away from anyone who showed her any kindness, which was prevalent. She would ignore them when they attempted to make her feel welcome.
Running Wolf had also confided in him that he had not made any advances to her since the first night he took her as his bride. Rides With Fury felt that this was unfair when he had provided well for her. The few times that Rides With Fury saw Running Wolf interact with Rebecca he acted in kindness. He had a strong alliance to Running Wolf and respected his desire to ensure that his dream vision was fulfilled.
She did not respond to his comment. She was grateful that there was someone among these people that she could talk to.
“Where are you taking me?” she asked. She was confused and even somewhat concerned for her safety. She could only assume that he knew how she treated Running Wolf. He saw this in her eyes and tried to reassure her.
“Do not be fearful. We have something to show you that might make your heart happy.”
Rebecca was taken aback. How was he reading her mind?
Rides With Fury led her to a black stallion and helped her mount the animal. Running Wolf was on a horse next to her. He did not look her way. Rides With Fury joined them and they left the camp.
It had begun to lightly snow. They rode for several miles in silence. The silence was almost deafening, yet peaceful. It was so still that Rebecca could sense in every way the feel, sound, and smell of the falling flakes. Finally, Rebecca could smell a campfire nearby.
When they rode to the top of the hill she could see men in the valley. They were probably trappers. She was very confused. There was no conversation. Running Wolf had not looked her way. She thought he must loathe her as much as she did him.
The three came to a stop. Rides With Fury got off his horse and walked over to Rebecca. He helped her dismount. He looked at Running Wolf for his instruction.
Running Wolf spoke to Rides With Fury looking past Rebecca.
Rides With Fury translated the words to her in English.
“Running Wolf says that they are white men. You are free to go. You are not happy with him when he has tried to show only kindness to you.”
He pointed to the men and waved his hand as though pushing her toward them. “You are free!”
She stood for a moment looking into the valley and her escape to the white world.
Rides With Fury had mounted his horse. He and Running Wolf turned their horses and began to leave. Rebecca looked at them and then over to the trappers. She became hysterical. She ran after them. She fell on the newly fallen snow but quickly recovered. She was able to catch up with the horse that was carrying Running Wolf. She pulled on his leg.
“You cannot leave me here!” she bellowed.
This was confusing to Running Wolf. This woman was impossible to please. She was not happy with him and now she was not happy to leave.
“I cannot go to them!” she exploded. She hit his leg with her fist. “I am pregnant!” she cried. “I cannot return to them carrying your bastard child!”
Running Wolf did not understand and looked to Rides With Fury for guidance. Rides With Fury did not want to be as crass as Rebecca. He looked at the confused Brave and explained that she was with child. He did not make any mention of how she referred to the child.
Running Wolf could feel his heart sink. This was meant to occur according to the prophecy yet he could not feel the joy that should accompany such news.
Rebecca was crying. She could have gone. She could have been free had it not been for her condition.
“How can I return to a white world carrying a half-breed?” she directed her wrath at Rides With Fury. “I resent the seed he has planted in me!”
Running Wolf was at a loss. He had no idea how to handle her outburst or her resentment. He looked to Rides With Fury to translate what she was saying.
In order to relieve a very tense situation Rides With Fury in his infinite wisdom added. “She said her mind is not right. She said that she is having trouble controlling her excitement.”
Running Wolf knew that this holy man was sparing his feelings by lying to him. Her extreme reaction could have been interpreted as joy. He knew better. He looked up to the sky because it seemed the only safe place at this time.
~
Later that night Running Wolf saw Rebecca reading from the book that he had seen her look at many times before. It seemed to bring her comfort. He knew that she had settled down. It would be peaceful evening. He left the lodge to let her read in privacy.
~
The Indians called her Baaíipaachke, which means The Mourning Dove. This was because no matter what they did to try and please her she was always so sad. They had a belief that every time the mourning dove would make its distinctive cooing it was because there had been a death. Rebecca seemed to be in constant mourning. She was. It was the death of her spirit, having to live among people that were not of her choosing.
~
Running Wolf continued to be kind to her, especially since she was carrying his child. There was even a time when Running Wolf saved her life. Rather than it serving as a bridge in their relationship she had wished he had let her die.
Early one winter day Rebecca decided to take a walk in the wo
ods to see where it led. Maybe there would be a place to hide where she could not be found. She did not know what she would do in this wilderness but it was better than where she was living.
Running Wolf had seen her leave the camp. From all previous situations she indicated that she would be helpless anywhere she was not watched. He followed behind her at a safe distance.
Rebecca did not have the intuitiveness that the Indians possessed by nature. She happened to cross the small opening of a den of wolves. The mother wolf within the den picked up her scent long before she had walked in her path. Fortunately she was about ten feet away from the mouth of the den.
Running Wolf saw the protective mother before Rebecca knew she was there.
Rebecca turned to the sound of growling; she thought at first it was a dog. She looked to her right and into the eyes of a furious wolf. The animal was showing its teeth and began to growl letting her know that an attack was imminent. Rebecca was terrified. She stood motionless, which was the wise thing to do.
Running Wolf sighed in relief because she was still and not aggravating the animal into attacking. It was a puzzlement to him how she was so unaware and vulnerable to the environment. He thought back to the time when he was a child and did the same thing. He remembered what his father did to save him.
He reached back for his bow and arrow without making a sound. He carefully took aim and shot the arrow just close enough to scare the animal back into the cave. Swiftly he rode up behind her and scooped her upon his horse. They rode away before the wolf came back out to attack.
He held her as they rode off to safety. Once near to the camp he let her go.
She looked at him. “Thank you,” she said as she dismounted the horse. She was trying to gain back her composure. Her legs were still shaking as she retreated to the tent where she stayed for the next three days.
Running Wolf had hoped this sign of bravery would have shown her his gallantry. It did not change her heart of stone.
~
As time passed she had to accept that she was with child. A child not conceived in love. She still resented it. It was not until she felt the first flutters of life that she began to soften, but only toward the child.
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