Strong Enough to Love

by Dahl, Victoria

  He caught her watching him and slid his hand up from her breast to cradle the base of her skull and pull her in for a deep kiss. He turned her in the same motion.

  Eve gasped at the sudden vulnerability of not having the wall at her back. The air stirred across her skin, reminding her of how naked she was, but before she had time to adjust, Brian laid her on the bed. He kissed down her neck, over her chest, until his tongue circled her nipple. When he sucked, she cried out and grasped his hair to hold him close.

  Every sensation was a revelation. The draw of his mouth at her nipple, the slide of his hands down her sides...it all felt better than it should. Better than should be possible. And it was still too much. She couldn’t take it all in. The rough feel of his denim-clad legs between her knees, the slide of his hair between her fingers, even the faint scratch of his stubble against her breast. She wanted it all. She needed to remember it all.

  Raising her head, she watched his tongue circle the tight bud of her nipple, then watched in tormented awe as his teeth scraped over her, so white against her pink flesh. He sucked again, harder this time, and Eve growled her approval at the small pain he drew out. His hands dug into her ribs as if he couldn’t stop himself from holding too tight.

  Yes, she wanted to say as he moved to torture her other nipple. Yes, more. More. More teeth. More sucking. More sweet, circling tongue. She twisted her fingers in his hair, so he could feel the bite of pain that his teeth pressed into her. His hand slid down to her hip and then between her legs.

  Now the yes was pulled from her throat on a dark cry as she pushed her hips toward him. He stroked her clit, lightly at first, then more insistently as she rocked against him. “Brian,” she moaned, as she had so many times in her solitary bed. “Brian, yes. Yes. That feels so good.”

  “I know,” he whispered. “I know it does. You’re so damn hot, Eve.”

  She whimpered when he pulled away from her, but then she realized he was standing between her knees to toe off his shoes and finish undressing, and she was happy to watch as his shoulders flexed and the muscles of his arms bunched. He slid his briefs off with his jeans and... Oh, God. Oh, God, his cock was thick and straight and hard for her, and she almost sobbed with need as he reached behind him to grab a condom from the dresser.

  She wanted to taste him, smell him, feel him in her mouth, but he was already setting his knee between her thighs. She scooted higher on the bed as he opened the condom.

  “Wait,” she breathed. “Wait. I want to...” Reaching for him, she curled her fingers around his shaft, nearly groaning with relief as he jerked in her grasp. “I want to touch you, Brian.”

  “No. I can’t...I can’t hold out.”

  “Please,” she whispered. “Let me touch you.” She stroked him, thrilling at how thick he was. He’d push inside her soon. She wanted that so damn much. But first, she wanted to feel the silkiness of his skin, the way it moved slightly with her stroking, the way he pushed toward her when she squeezed.

  On his knees, he watched as she touched him. She slid her hand down to the base, then slipped her fingers lower to learn the shape of him, the weight of him.

  His belly sucked in as she stroked up again. “I need to be inside you. Please. I’ve waited so long. I have to feel you.” But he still watched as her fist worked up and down. Up and down. Slowly. She could do this for hours. Forever. Explore his body. Please him with her hands.

  “Please,” he groaned one last time.

  She finally let him go, loving the small, desperate sound he made as she released him from her tight grip. He slipped the condom on and lowered himself until he was poised just above her.

  He met her gaze. She wanted to look away. She could handle everything tonight, but not the way he looked at her as he eased the head of his cock against her heat and pushed slowly in. He held her gaze as she gasped. As she spread her knees wider for his hips. As he stretched her and she took him in. He watched her face as he filled her, and she couldn’t hide her emotions. She couldn’t hide that his body sliding inside hers was everything she’d ever wanted.

  In the end, she had to close her eyes so he couldn’t see that this one night would never be enough. Nothing would ever be enough.

  When he was as deep as he could get, he paused, his breath leaving him on a slow, deep sigh. He whispered her name then, and moved inside her, his cock pulling against the tight grip of her pussy. She clutched his shoulders, digging her nails in at the shock of his thickness inside her body.

  His cock filled her so thoroughly that she was caught between utter relief at having him inside her and the amazement of being invaded so completely. Tears of joy welled in her eyes. “Brian,” she breathed, the only truth she could speak at that moment.

  “Jesus, Eve. It’s perfect. You’re perfect. Tell me you need this.”

  “I need it,” she answered immediately. “I need it so much.”

  “Yes. God, yes.” He fucked her deeper. Harder. Pushing out all the loneliness and hurt. He filled her up with what she’d always wanted. His body and need and want. “Tell me,” he urged again.

  “I need you, Brian. I need you. I always have. Please. Please.”

  He whispered her name again, over and over, each time he buried himself inside her. Every stroke made her want to weep. Every thrust was an answer to all her needs and sorrows. Brian was inside her. Finally.

  Just as she slid her hands down to his ass to pull him even tighter to her, he paused and shook his head. “Wait. I need a second.”

  Her eyes popped open. “Why?”

  “Because if you keep being so hot, I’m going to come. So just...get your nails out of my ass and stop making those fucking gorgeous sounds.”

  Hard to believe she could go from tears to laughter in the span of a few minutes, but she could hear herself laughing in disbelief. “Are you serious?”

  “Yes, I’m serious.”

  She let go of his ass.

  “Just give me a second to...” He withdrew slightly and slipped his hand down her belly.

  “Oh,” she groaned, arching into his fingers as they teased her clit. “Oh, fuck.”

  “Shh. You have to be quiet, remember?” He thrust slowly inside her and she cried out. “Shh.”

  But she cried out again and again, and he urged her on, telling her how beautiful she looked, telling her how she drove him crazy. “I need to feel you come for me, Eve. I need to feel that. I need to see that. Come for me.”

  She couldn’t believe Brian was saying these wicked things. Couldn’t believe how rough and dark his voice was. He’d always been so careful with her. Always so circumspect. And now his voice was in her ear, telling her to come. Come.

  He drove her crazy with the same slow thrusts, but his fingers stroked her clit faster and she was screaming now. Screaming as she felt everything in her body draw tight and heavy and huge. And then she broke apart with a wild cry, her hips bucking against him, forcing him to fuck her harder, faster.

  “Yes,” he growled. “Yes, Eve. Jesus...I can’t...” His words ended on a strangled growl as he shuddered and pushed himself deep inside her body.

  She slipped her hands down his slick back, thrilled that she’d made him sweat for her, thrilled at the way his breath tore from his throat. And thrilled with the unbelievable pleasure that had nearly broken her in two.

  It was too much with him. Everything always had been. And though she’d told herself that he’d never live up to her fantasies, that it couldn’t possibly be that good... God, it had been.

  How the hell was she going to leave?

  But she didn’t have to think about that now. Not for a few minutes. He was still inside her, after all, still naked and pressed against her. He put his forehead to hers and opened his eyes. “You’re beautiful when you come,” he murmured.

  “So are you,” s
he said, meaning it despite the way he laughed and shook his head. When he rolled off her to grab a tissue, she blinked in shock. He’d left her body too quickly. Didn’t he know she’d never get to feel that again?

  He lay back down with a sigh. “I didn’t think that could feel better than I’d fantasized, but Jesus...”

  She smiled despite her sadness. “Yeah. I know.” When he tucked his arm behind her head, she turned toward him. It felt like the most natural thing in the world to lay naked against him, her knee on his thigh, her belly against his hip. How could it feel like resuming her normal place when she’d never done this before?

  “Did you fantasize about this?” she asked as she laid her cheek against his warm chest.

  “Yes. A thousand times. Did you?”

  “Yes.”

  “I was never sure. Not until the very end.”

  She brushed her hand lightly across the dark hair of his chest. “I didn’t want you to know.”

  He nodded. “I know. We were friends. It felt too important to risk, especially since...” He let the words die, and Eve didn’t fill them in. “It got so bad I could barely be around you sometimes. And when I realized you felt the same, it made it better and worse all at the same time. I had to go.”

  She stroked her hand down until she could skim her fingers over his stomach. His muscles drew in. She touched his hipbone, his thigh. She memorized the shape of him under her fingers. Because two years ago, he’d had to go. He’d had to leave her. And she couldn’t forgive him for that.

  “How long have you planned to come back?” she asked.

  “When I left, I knew I’d come back if I could. And six months ago, Julia and I decided it was over. There were loose ends that needed tying up. Details to work out. But it was over.”

  “What if I’d met someone? What if I’d gotten married?” she tried to ask it lightly, but his chest rose beneath her cheek on a deep breath.

  “I couldn’t ask you to wait. Everything was up in the air. I knew I was taking a big chance, but I had to go back to Raleigh one more time.”

  She nodded, but she wanted to scream. She wanted to hit him and tell him he could stuff his morals where the sun didn’t shine. Because what he meant was that it had been worth the risk. Worth the risk of giving her up forever. Worth never knowing if everything he’d wanted was right there in front of him. Worth breaking her heart.

  She hadn’t been able to talk to anyone. She’d had to carry on as if she were happy to have this new business, this new life.

  “I had to remodel the gallery, you know.” She closed her eyes and listened to his heartbeat. “I had to spend money I didn’t have to change everything, because I could see you there. Every day. In every corner.”

  His arm squeezed her closer. “I’m sorry.”

  “Everything I’d ever worked for, all those years in banking and finance, working with people who didn’t understand anything about me... All those years of saving up and dreaming, and I finally had a place. My own place in the world. And it meant nothing without you.”

  “Eve—”

  She pushed up and sat on the edge of the bed. She hadn’t meant to say that. She shook her head. “You gave me up, Brian. You told yourself you had to, so you did. But I wasn’t left here just to be scooped up when you wanted me back.” She stood and pulled on her panties. “You took the chance of walking away, the risk of losing me forever, and you lost.”

  “I’m sorry. I know you’re angry.”

  He sounded so calm. So steady and understanding. She wanted him angry and afraid, damn it.

  “Don’t go now,” he whispered.

  “I told you this was it, and I meant it.”

  “You said one night, not an hour.”

  She fastened her bra, and pulled on her dress before turning to smirk. “I have to go. There’s really nothing I can do.”

  “Damn it, Eve. Don’t be petty.”

  “Fuck you,” she growled. “I’ll be as petty as I want. What did being reasonable ever get me?” She could feel it inside her now, every time she moved. The way he’d stretched her and filled her and left his mark. Her body was sore. She’d feel him for a day, at least. Maybe more.

  “All right.” He sounded so calm as she tugged up the zipper of her dress. “Go. I hate it, if that’s what you’re looking for. I want to strip that dress off you and push you back on this bed and have you again.” He stood, still naked in the face of her anger. “But go, if you need to. I can let you, because this isn’t the end of us. It can’t be. I can’t live with that.”

  “I know exactly how you feel,” she snapped, grabbing her purse and trying to get her heels on at the same time. “And I was wrong when I thought it, too. Goodbye, Brian.”

  She walked away from him, telling herself not to look back. Not to take him in or reach for him or change her mind. She walked out and her numb legs took her away from him for the last time.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  “YOU LOOK AMAZING!” Grace said once she’d gotten half her coffee down.

  Eve ducked her head and stared harder at the proofs she was examining on her laptop. She’d expected to toss and turn all night. She’d expected to be racked with heartbreak. Instead, she’d fallen into bed and slept like a woman who... Well, a woman who’d just had the best sex of her life.

  Christ, it had been so good. Everything else aside, how was she going to live without that for another fifty or sixty years? Knowing she’d had that and wouldn’t again? She scowled.

  “What is going on with you? Why are you growling at the proofs?”

  “I’m not growling.”

  “Okay, tiger. I guess that’s a perfectly normal photography-related sound.”

  “You get more annoying every day, you know that?”

  “What’s that red mark on your neck?”

  Eve jumped so violently that the stool shifted under her and she had to grab the counter to keep from tumbling to the floor. She raised her head slowly to find Grace standing there, arms crossed, and a huge grin spreading over her face. It was the most delighted she’d ever looked.

  “I hate you,” Eve whispered.

  “Spill it.”

  “No.”

  Grace nodded. “You took that cute guy home from the party?”

  “I did not! He was still there when I left.”

  “Booty call?”

  “No!”

  “That must be a hell of a new vibrator, then. I’ll need the make and model, please.”

  An image of Brian, naked and boxed and wrapped in a bow, flashed through Eve’s brain. “It’s not... He’s not...”

  Grace raised an eyebrow, and Eve slumped in defeat.

  “I don’t know what I’m going to do,” she whispered.

  “Oh. Hey.” Grace’s grin disappeared and she stepped forward to put a careful hand on Eve’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. I thought this was just about sex.”

  “It is,” Eve insisted, but her voice was too desperate to fool even the dullest friend, and Grace was sharp as a razor.

  “Eve,” she scolded, but the word was mostly worry. “Are you okay?”

  She wanted to say yes. She meant to say yes. But instead she told the truth. “No, actually. No, I’m not okay.”

  “All right.” Grace scooted around the long counter and locked the door. Then she turned the sign to CLOSED.

  “What if we have a customer?”

  “It’s March. The only customers are locals. We’ll reopen in a few minutes and they’ll come back.”

  “Fine.” She followed Grace into the office and dropped resentfully into a chair.

  “What’s going on with you?” Grace demanded, then seemed to realize her tough-girl attitude was the wrong call and softened her voice. “I mean... What’s wrong?”<
br />
  Eve opened her mouth. And she closed it. She shouldn’t have admitted anything. She should have kept quiet. But the words pushed at her from the inside. She’d never been able to say anything to anyone. He was married. People had known his wife. Eve’s heart had been breaking, her dreams in turmoil, and all she’d ever done was keep working. Keep moving. Because if she’d ever stopped, it would have caught up with her.

  But now she wanted it out.

  “I fell in love with a married man,” she blurted, then pressed her fingers to her mouth to stop the sob of shock that followed her words.

  “Oh, sweetie, no.” Grace wrapped a hand around Eve’s elbow.

  “I didn’t mean to.”

  “Hey. Listen. Everybody screws up sometime, okay? It’s going to be all right. I swear.”

  Tears spilled over Eve’s cheeks and she ducked her head.

  “Don’t cry,” Grace urged as she scooted closer to wrap her arm around Eve’s shoulder. “Don’t cry.”

  “I can’t talk to anyone,” Eve sobbed.

  “You can talk to me. You know I won’t judge you. You didn’t judge me and that was one of the best gifts I ever got from anyone. You can talk to me, Eve. Please.”

  She shook her head, half because she was afraid to let it out and half because her throat was so tight, she couldn’t.

  “Are you still seeing him or did you break it off?”

  Eve shook her head again.

  “Oh, Eve, you’re not pregnant, are you?”

  “God, no!” Eve yelped. “No! It’s not like that. We never... That is... We never took it that far.”

  “Oh.” Grace looked slightly disgruntled when she sat back.

  “Oh, my God. Are you disappointed?”

  “Of course not!” She cleared her throat. “But you know...if you’re going to be all heartbreak and longing over the guy, you should at least get sex.”