RECKLESS (Nash's Story) (RECKLESS series Book 2)

by Ella Col

  “Kevin, don’t flatter yourself. What do you have to offer Hannah?” He laughs. “She’s not going to marry a boxer. Now that she has a ring on her finger, she’ll behave herself. And if she doesn’t, you will.”

  Why the fuck should I have to behave myself?

  “So, if she wants to fuck me, I should turn her away? I’m not the one with a ring on my finger.” I wave my finger at him. It doesn’t makes sense. Why my dad can’t see this is beyond me.

  “I made a promise to her father…my business partner. He wants the best for her, Kevin. This is her chance to finally grow up.”

  “Don’t count on it.”

  “Kevin, stop the nonsense,” my dad warns.

  I laugh out loud. All of this must be a joke. Hannah is getting married. She’s been cheating on Caydon with me. And she’s been cheating on me with her fiancé. Classic Hannah. Yet, I’m being told to stop the nonsense. The entire situation is nonsense. Believing Hannah has loved me all along is nonsense. How could she? She’s been with Caydon and me for the past five years.

  I always held onto hope. I guess I should have known better. I’ve spent years holding on, only to reach the point where I have to let her go.

  Sadly, I’ve had so many beautiful women. And the best part of it all is their hearts were free. It’s a shame that my heart was held prisoner for so many years.

  Clearly, I was not enough for her, or more appropriately and kindly, she prefers another that fit her standards enough to give all of herself to. That’s a fucking joke.

  Why did I not realize this long ago? Fuck…I’m so stupid.

  “Nonsense stopped,” I say flatly.

  My dad does something that surprises me. He lays his hand on my shoulder and squeezes, giving me comfort for a tiny second. “Women will ruin you, Son.”

  No kidding.

  “She won’t ruin me.” He just pats my back, never saying a word. It’s almost like he’s saying she already has. “I didn’t come here to talk about Hannah, Dad. Are you going to help me? Will you give me my college money?”

  “Sure,” he smirks. “When you go to college.”

  Fuck.

  “Well, thanks for nothing.” I shove the chair from under me. Then I storm out of his office.

  Footsteps pound after me. “Kevin…wait.”

  “What?” I bite out.

  “Where are you going?” he asks. It’s such a strange question. The way he phrases it makes me believe he’s not referencing the immediate future.

  “To the gym. I need to hit something.” I imply it will be his face that I will imagine hitting.

  “No. What’s your destination? Where do you see yourself in the future?”

  I’d love to spew out a typical, twenty-year-old, sarcastic comment. However, that would be expected and immature. I choose honesty instead. “I don’t have a map.”

  Maps are easy. They’re flat and predictable, easy to use to chart out a course. Maps are about points: starting points and destination points. But maps are also unrealistic. Because the world isn’t flat, it’s not color-coded and foldable.

  I’m not sure where I will end up. I’m not even sure I’m comfortable picking a specific destination. I just want to move forward.

  “One thing is for sure, Dad. I’m not waiting anymore for permission or acceptance from you. I realize I’ve depended on you financially since…well…forever. That’s my problem. It’s holding me back from moving forward,” I admit. If I were to cut the financial strings, I’d set myself free.

  “Kevin, you’re twenty years old. It’s not unusual for a kid your age to depend on their parents financially. It’s my job as a parent to steer you in a responsible direction.” He’s trying to be a parent. I have to respect that.

  “Just because everyone is taking the college route and taking the steps toward getting married doesn’t mean that’s the path for me, dad. I’ve been following everyone my whole life. I don’t have to follow them anymore.” Man, that feels good to say.

  No one ever put a gun to my head and made me do anything. I chose the things I’ve done in my life. Now I’m choosing to head down a different path.

  “If you choose this path, I can’t help you.” What he’s saying is that he doesn’t support my decision.

  “I understand.”

  I walk away from my father with a weight off my shoulder. Unfortunately, I’m still carrying so many other weights that it’s hard to feel relief. At least I started. Yeah, ‘started’. What did I start? I’m not sure.

  Chapter Ten

  Mark and I have been sparring for what seems like an eternity. With about forty-five seconds to go, I’m running out of gas. I’m doing everything I can to hold on. Fortunately, I don’t eat “the big one”. I owe that to my trainer and sparring buddy, Mark.

  Sweat is pouring from our faces, and we’re both gasping for air. I don’t let Mark see, but I’m holding onto the ropes so they can hold me up.

  “This is the best I’ve seen you look, Nash.” I don’t know if Mark is trying to be nice, but I’ll take it.

  “Thanks, man. I feel good.” I could live off of my exhilaration.

  “Any news on the competition?” he asks.

  “If you are asking if my dad is going to help me with the costs, the answer is no.” I snicker. I have a better chance of receiving a child support payment from God.

  Mark uses a towel to absorb the sweat from his body. “Too bad, man. Don’t give up hope. There are fundraisers that can help.”

  “Fundraisers?” I laugh. Automatically, I think of selling candy bars and wrapping paper. I doubt I could sell the amount of shit I need to gain enough cash. “I’ll dig out my Girl Scout uniform so I can sell the cookies.”

  “Don’t laugh it off, man. Sure, it may not give you all of the dough you need, but it will give you a substantial amount. You’ll still need to get a job.”

  “A job?” I ask with interest.

  “Don’t tell me. You’ve never had one.” Mark laughs.

  I’m a little embarrassed. “Nope.”

  “The gym is hiring. They’re looking for instructors. I could get you a job,” Mark proposes.

  “You’re serious?” It’s like a dream come true.

  “Don’t get too excited. You’ll be teaching the little guys.” Mark laughs again like he knows something that I don’t.

  “What’s so funny?” I ask.

  “You’ll definitely learn patience by teaching them. The little ones cry all of the time. They’re afraid to get hit.”

  “Oh.” I don’t have any experience with little kids. But I need this job, and I know how to box.

  “Want the job?”

  “Hell, yeah.”

  “I’ll let Marty know. You can start Monday.”

  “Thanks, Mark. I mean it. I can’t thank you enough.” Mark just gave me the tools to get my life started.

  “Don’t mention it, dude. You’ve got talent. You deserve this competition.” Mark looks as if he wants to say more.

  “Something else you want to say?” I expect him to give me a tip on my fighting or working with the kids.

  His eyes shift to the floor. “I’m proud of you, Nash.”

  Mark doesn’t know but those four little words just gave me the boost I need to begin my journey. If it weren’t for Mark, I’d probably be a little pussy wallowing in my sorrow. He saved my ass.

  “That means a lot, Mark.” I do my best to choke my emotion down.

  “Yeah, well, I’m sentimental these days. Now that I have Reece back, I’m just making sure that I tell people how I feel. You never know when you could lose the people you love.”

  What the fuck?

  “Your daughter is back from Florida? When did she get back? Why didn’t you tell me?” The questions continue to fly from my mouth.

  “It’s not like we talk a lot about our personal lives. Plus, I thought you only had a few classes with her back then. I didn’t think you’d be interested in knowing.” Mark is confused. He
should be. He doesn’t know the history between Reece, Caydon, and me.

  I do my best to cover my tracks. “It’s just, I know that you’ve wanted her to come home for a long time. I’m surprised.”

  “Reece has been through hell and back in Florida. I would have mentioned it sooner except she made me promise to keep her presence here on the down low. She’s concentrating on school and healing.” I can see the torture in Mark’s head even though he doesn’t speak.

  Reece’s mom was an alcoholic and died recently. The only reason I know any of this is because Mark stopped training with me while dealing with all of it. The last time we talked about it, Reece had decided to stay in Florida. Mark was devastated. He wanted her to come home.

  “I’m glad she came home.”

  “Me too.” He smiles.

  A shit storm is about to pass through this town. Once Caydon finds out that Reece is here, I wonder if he’ll feel differently for Hannah. Shit. I wonder if he even knows about Hannah and her ‘engagement’.

  “Hey, are you okay? You seem a little off today.” You fought like hell but you’re not as chatty as you normally are.” Mark notices my solemn mood. I try to brush it off, but it hurts like hell.

  “Girl problems,” I say.

  “Want to talk?”

  There is nothing to talk about. Hannah made her decision. And I lost…again. To be honest, I don’t ever think I was in the race to begin with. It doesn’t hurt any less.

  I have to face the pain rather than pretending it’s not there. I have to face the pain of rejection and the pain of her decision. I may have to admit that I have been ‘fuck-zoned’ long ago. No…not friend-zoned…fuck-zoned.

  I knew the moment when I poured my heart and soul out to Hannah that I was ruined. I should have applied the Law of Least Effort that night when I told her I would fight Caydon for her. Instead, I became Hannah’s emotional tampon.

  “Nah. I’m done with her.”

  “I didn’t know there was a ‘her’.” Mark laughs.

  Sweat drips from my forehead. I wipe it away with my forearm. “There was a girl that I ‘did’ on a regular basis along with the variety of girls I ‘do’. Make sense?”

  “So, your source of constant sex is done?” Mark asks.

  “I have a steady flow of sex. Just not with the same girl. She was my constant flow of the same brand…if you get my drift.” Still beating around the bush, I throw my gym stuff in a bag.

  “Bitches.” I don’t think Mark is trying to be funny, but when he says ‘bitches’, it makes me laugh uncontrollably. “What?”

  I wipe the smirk from my face acknowledging that Mark is trying to be helpful and sympathetic. “Yeah, well, this bitch doesn’t realize that a relationship is between two people.”

  “Does she know how to count?” Mark keeps the one-liners coming. Finally, I catch on to what he is doing. Making light of the problem is exactly what I need. I’m done taking my relationship with Hannah so goddamn seriously.

  Laughing out loud again, I answer truthfully. “I think she’s just a fucking psycho. Any advice?”

  Mark snickers. “Stay away from bitches.”

  ***

  Mark’s heart to heart sticks with me on my way home. I feel lucky. Hannah did me a favor. I just hope she shows the same mercy to Caydon.

  Why do I fucking care? I don’t. Fuck…I do care.

  I had a true friend in Caydon. And I fucked it up over Hannah. Heh…the love of my life.

  How do I make this right? Do I tell Caydon? I doubt the stubborn bastard would even believe his precious, little Hannah has played both of us. Better yet, he’d probably think that I was trying to cock block him.

  And then there is Reece. Reece…the reason behind the reason. She’s back. If I know Caydon the way I think I do, he’s going to flip.

  My thoughts are disrupted the familiar number that pops up on my cell. Hannah.

  Don’t answer.

  My thumb has a mind of its own. It sideswipes the screen, and I find myself saying the word hello.

  “Hey!” Hannah squeals. “It’s me.”

  I blow air through my lips exhausted from this conversation already. “What do you want?”

  “I called to say hello, silly.” She’s still trying to keep the charade up.

  “Hannah, cut the bullshit. What do you want?” I can’t keep my distaste for her under wraps.

  “Someone is grumpy.”

  I don’t have time for this. “Hannah, I know you are getting married.” Silence. “Aww, what’s the matter? Not so chatty now, are you?”

  “Kevin, I can explain…”

  I cut her off. “It’s Nash.”

  “I was going to tell you.”

  “When? Like when my dick is sliding into you? Would that be a good time?” I don’t hold back. I’ve got nothing to lose. “Or…how about when Caydon is inside of you?” I don’t stop. “No, I’ve got it. When your fiancé is screwing your brains out, you can put both Caydon and me on speaker and include all of us in the conversation. Perfect timing.”

  I hear sniffles. “You’re being cruel.”

  “I’ve learned from the best, Hannah. You.”

  “Nash, I need a favor.”

  “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, Hannah.”

  “You can’t tell Caydon. I’m going to tell him in person,” Hannah swears.

  I’ve watched Caydon from afar. I see what Hannah is doing to him. He’s a mess. “Hannah, you have a very short period of time to make this right.”

  “I’m coming home in a few days. I promise, Nash.” Hannah voice is filled with affliction. “And, Nash?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I love you.” Poor girl. She doesn’t know what love is. Shit. Neither do I…I guess.

  The idea of love fascinates me. I thought it to be selfless. I know love makes you question yourself. And I know love is bigger than anyone or anything I know. It’s not something to take lightly.

  “Hannah, you don’t have a clue about what love is. All you know is how to get what you want at any cost.”

  “That’s not true.” She begs me to listen.

  “Crap. Pure crap. And I don’t have time to listen to it anymore.” I look at the phone and click the end button. “Bye, Hannah,” I whisper to myself.

  Chapter Eleven

  My thoughts of Reece as an adult woman never disappointed me. I always knew she would grow into a beautiful girl. But nothing prepared me for what she looks like now. Nothing. And to think…I was going to skip out on this lame-ass party. She’s not yours, Nash. Remember the mission.

  Reece is beyond stunning and clearly pissed off. I notice the scowl before I say hello to Maria. I pat Maria on the back. “Hey, sweetheart. Where’s your man?”

  Maria returns my greeting by slapping me on the back of my shoulder. “Nash, it’s so good to see you.” Her slap turns into an innocent hug.

  Although Shorty and Caydon are tight, Maria has never treated me poorly. I suppose even she knows the drama between me and Caydon is plain dumb. “I haven’t been out in a while. I’m still training.” My eyes rake over Reece. “Who’s this?” I know who she is but I play dumb.

  Maria eagerly introduces Reece to me. “This is my cousin, Reece. She’s just moved back from Florida.” She pulls Reece forward. Reece looks as if she is digging her heels in the ground. “Reece, this is Nash.”

  Maria winks at me. I have no idea what she is trying to tell me. “Hi,” I stutter. Smooth.

  “Reece hasn’t had the warmest welcome. She probably thinks that all of the guys here are jerks.” Maria laughs nervously. Gazing at Reece, she smiles and gives Reece the same wink. It appears Maria is trying to play matchmaker. “Nash is such a sweetheart.” No, I’m not.

  She wouldn’t believe the thoughts I’m having right now. They involve Reece and I doing not so nice things to each other. I’m a dirty bastard.

  “Hey.” Reece doesn’t seem to be enjoying the party. The lack of enthusiasm in her greetin
g tells me that she rather be anywhere but here. So would I.

  I decide to barely pay attention to her. It’s hard because the girl is hot. I’ve pledged to make this right in my head. However, my dick wants to pledge its allegiance to Reece. “Where’s Shorty?”

  “He had to take Caydon away. He was being a total douchebag,” Maria explains.

  I’m stumped. Caydon saw Reece. And he was a douchebag? Something is not right. “What happened?”

  “I introduced Caydon to Reece, and he wigged out. Shorty said Caydon had another fight with Hannah today.”

  Stupid fuck’s mind is so clouded by Hannah. He doesn’t recognize Reece. “Fuck him.” This time I direct my comment to Reece.

  Her eyes go wide. “Excuse me?”

  “Forget about him.” I clarify what I mean.

  “Oh,” she laughs. “He’s already forgotten.” I doubt that. During my entire conversation with Maria, Reece’s eyes had been surveying the room for Caydon.

  I’m going to have to jog Caydon’s memory. “Do you want to get some fresh air? Maybe we can take a ride on my bike?”

  “No, thanks.” Reece is hesitant and shy. Cute.

  “I think you should go, Reece. Nash is a great driver.” Maria is still holding out hope that Reece might want to hook up with me. I don’t hate the idea of making out with Reece. Focus.

  “Don’t worry, Reece. I don’t bite,” I laugh. “Unless you’re like that sort of thing.”

  Still hesitant, Reece shuffles toward me. “Okay. But you’ll bring me right back…right?”

  “Absolutely.” I take her hand and lead her to the front door looking to escape the noise of the party.

  ***

  One of the exciting things about redemption is setting the plan in motion and watching it come together. My plan for redemption isn’t an easy one. I know this. I have enough humility within myself to accept that I’ve done wrong and I’ve hurt people.

  When Mark told me that Reece came home, I took it as a sign that it was my chance to make things right between Caydon and me. The fact that Reece is standing in front of me only confirms my belief that I’m on the right path. The signs are all here.