Almost Lovers

by Cassidy Raindance

  “The things which I have here before promised, I will perform, and keep,” Prussia repeated, though slightly confused and hesitant at the reaction of the court, as she had rehearsed.

  “Stand firm, and hold fast, her High Royal Chancellor Prussia. In the Name and by the Authority of the Queen, and by the hands of us, establish the Law and Justice in righteousness that it may stand fast for evermore,” echoed the court in tones of obligation with a ring of amazement.

  A hush fell over the court as I stepped forward, looking and finding a confused Prussia standing next to me.

  “Why did they gasp?” she asked me in a whisper.

  “The Queen gave you authority to sentence royalty,” I whispered back, my eyes darting to the Queen who stood tall and proud not far away and perfectly able to hear my every word, “Authority enough to sentence me…or even the Queen herself,”

  Prussia’s eyes went wide with disbelief. As she looked to the Queen I turned to the court and said my piece as the ceremony demanded.

  “God save Queen Victoria,” I said and stepped back.

  “God save Queen VICTORIA. Long live Queen VICTORIA. May the Queen live for ever,” echoed the court loudly.

  I stepped back to my place behind and off center from the podium and waited for the part I had been anticipating for so long. The only part that remained – Prussia’s dowry demands in response to my proposal. I hoped it would be something I could truly enjoy lavishing on her. I had already gotten her a car. If she wanted the Queen’s castle I had no doubt the Queen would grant it to us. I think the crazy old Queen had planned this all from the beginning, though beyond elaborate even for her.

  Prussia cleared her throat as quiet as a mouse and looked down at the ceremonial speech she had been instructed to read ahead of the dowry demands. The court didn’t seem to mind though normally this speech is something Ladies brought up in the court recited regularly in rehearsed excitement. Prussia looked up at the court and paused.

  “You all may not know but my boyfriend, whom I hoped to marry, was murdered right in front of my eyes,” said Prussia, murmurs went up through the court at her unconventional disregard for ceremony “Now I am to marry Sebastian and to demand a dowry. If I’m to demand something as a dowry then I demand Sebastian find and bring me Robert’s murderer so I can kill him with my own hands,”

  Prussia stepped back and the murmuring turned a roaring loud chatter as everyone turned to one another and commented on the request. I knew what this meant as Prussia stepped back from the podium right next to me. I looked to the Queen to see if this would be allowed and the Queen had the biggest smile on her face I had ever seen in my life. The Queen knew exactly who had killed Robert, but did the Queen tell Prussia? Did Prussia know what she just asked of me, truly? Prussia couldn’t know because she had said ‘him’ and the Queen and I both knew that Robert had been killed by a ‘her’, Lydia.

  I looked out at the sea of faces chattering on about the request. This had been the most unorthodox request ever asked as long as I had been attending court. When our eyes finally met I knew that the world could shift under my very feet at any moment. Lydia looked at me from her place in the crowd and our eyes locked. She waited, her face pleading. Did I love Prussia enough to do this? Could I accept the terms of the dowry and kill the only woman I had ever loved in my life on this earth?

  Lydia kept her eyes locked with mine as I approached the podium to give my response and the room fell completely silent and still. The stillness ran stiff with electric excitement. The court loved this type of thing – death and love.

  I ripped my eyes away from Lydia’s as hers began to fill with what I could clearly see were tears, even from so far away. I looked down at the carefully penned speech that Prussia had left on the podium, no attempt to even recite it. I unrolled it and saw that her speech asked ‘for her heart back’ which would have been almost impossible to measure and given her an easy way to simply call off the engagement completely. I looked back to Prussia. She looked away just as I could see her and I knew she had meant to leave the speech there. Perhaps there could be hope for us after all. And I had made a promise to her.

  I didn’t know what winning her heart back would cost me. It would cost Lydia her life. I would have to drag Lydia to Prussia’s feet and watch as Prussia gave her the eternal death in order to secure our love.

  The room waited for my answer and I didn’t know if I could give it. I looked back out into the court and could see face after face waiting with anticipation at what my answer would be.

  “I accept your dowry request,” I said, looking for Lydia out in the crowd still but hearing only a door slam, “and am proud to soon call you my wife,”

  The entire room erupted in cheers and the court moved with barely contained excitement. I couldn’t smile. I had so much going on in my mind that I could barely return to my place next to Prussia. I took her hand lightly and held our clasped hands over head to show our symbolic union. The court screamed. They didn’t love us – they loved what would follow. Love in exchange for death.

  I had to accept it. If I wanted to keep her safe I had not choice but to accept it. I had a year to make it happen or fail. I had a year to come to grips with dragging Lydia kicking and screaming or throwing Prussia to the wolves.

  I looked at Prussia and when our eyes met I felt the electricity in the room condense into our stare. I hadn’t seen her with this look on her face before. It looked like happiness but with a touch of something else, a lust for vengeance.

  “Do you know what you’ve asked of me?” I asked, as quietly as I could in the room roaring with shouts of excitement.

  “Do you know what I’ve been through?” Prussia asked me, moving closer.

  Prussia looked at me with determination, her face inches from me. She had always been soft, kind and a bit naive at times. Something in her look said she had lost something of that. What had happened to her had changed her. I didn’t expect she wouldn’t be changed from what had happened to her. I just wanted to preserve who she had been as a person. I could see now that I had been too late. I felt guilty for what it had all cost her. I blamed myself.

  Prussia’s lips curled into an angry smile. I leaned forward and did the only thing I could think of. I kissed her. I tried to kiss away her hurt and her pain. She didn’t move an inch and barely softened beneath my kiss. I pulled my lips from hers and looked deeply into her fire-fueled eyes.

  “I never intended any of this,” I said.

  “Neither did I,” Prussia said, her face set in stone-cold determination, that spark of anger and resentment flickering, “but here we are…” and Prussia left me at the podium with a court cheering for the eternal death... of Lydia.

  THE END

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