Homebound

by Kata Čuić

  “No, not that! Why would you ask them if they brought something to spike the punch with? You’re supposed to be a chaperone not a bad influence!”

  He leans into me with narrowed eyes. “I reckoned bein’ a chaperone would be fun. At the very least, I was hopin’ to ruffle Jesse’s feathers, but y’all are actin’ colder than a frozen field toward each other. What gives?”

  I sigh but refuse to glance across the room to where my bones sense where he is. “You mean to tell me you haven’t heard what happened in town yesterday when we were setting up for the carnival?”

  Kenny shrugs like the ordeal wasn’t a big deal at all. “Oh, no. I heard all about it. He claimed y’all as his own in front of the whole town. That’s why I can’t understand how I didn’t get punched in the face again when ya walked in here on my arm.”

  “He did no such thing,” I hiss before straightening up as more students approach the table. “I don’t even know why he punched you in the face the first time.”

  “Oh, that.” Kenny smiles at the students, blessedly not trying to make awkward conversation until they depart. “It was after I asked ya out. He walked right up to me, punched me square in the face, then said if I hurt ya, he’d end me.”

  I gape at him, memories of more than one time Jesse’s face was busted rolling through me like a shock wave well after the detonation. “He did what?”

  He nods. “Told me he was gonna convince ya to accept, and I’d better show ya a right good time. If I did anythin’ ya didn’t like, he’d make sure my black eye was only a taste of what he’d give me.”

  I suspected Jesse and Kenny had tussled, but Jesse lied to my face about it. “He pushed me to tell you yes. I could never understand it.”

  Kenny tips his cup toward the other side of the room. “Ya ain’t the only one who’s capable of puttin’ the other first. He knew he couldn’t give ya what I could, and he wanted ya to have it even at his own expense. It took a lot of balls for him to do and say what he did. Especially knowin’ I was gonna pummel him for hurtin’ my pride in front of my friends.”

  “He started it. You had a right to defend yourself.” It’s a weak argument, but it’s all I’ve got.

  Across the room, Jesse smiles at his students and makes easy conversation with kids who seem equally excited to have his ear for a few minutes. It’s hard to believe the man is the same boy. If Kenny really did intend to poke the bear tonight, it would be a much fairer fight between the two. Physically at least.

  Kenny turns me to face him with a firm hand on my arm. His raised eyebrows and heavy gaze are unusually serious. “He claimed ya as his way back then by his actions. So, I can’t understand why you’re here with me tonight instead of with him.”

  I swallow down selfish tears. This is neither the time nor the place for them. “It’s way more complicated now than it was back then. It’s not a few dates and fun and bragging rights on the line. It’s his whole reputation and career. His whole life. We have a daughter together. Her needs come first. I can’t just erase the past five years like they never happened, Kenny. I dug a hole deeper than I can climb out of. No matter what I do now, someone is going to get hurt. The only thing I can figure is to just get along as coworkers so long as he’s here and leave the rest to the past.”

  Kenny drags the back of his hand against my cheek, his eyes more sober than I’ve ever seen. “I don’t envy ya the predicament you’ve made for yourself. I can’t imagine what ya been through these long years, so far away from home, birthin’ and raisin’ a baby all on your own. But I’ll tell ya what I do know. I gained a hell of a lot of respect for Jesse Yates the day he punched me. He went from bein’ someone I looked down on to someone I wanted to be more like. I learned far more in a few minutes from him about how to be a real man than I ever learned in all my time on a football field. And ya might not like it, but I’m in his corner.”

  I swipe my arm across my face, aware young eyes might be watching. “You sound just like Liz.”

  He straightens with a more typical Kenny grin. “I don’t know who Liz is, but she sounds like my kind of woman.”

  “She’s engaged.”

  “That don’t mean nothin’.” He waves his hand through the air. “Hell, bein’ married don’t mean nothin’ no more. Bobbi Sue is proof enough.”

  “Marriage isn’t what it used to be,” I agree. “Neither is sharing a child.”

  He gives me a skeptical glance. “Love is love. The devil ain’t always in the details.”

  “Not now,” I plead. “Tonight is about the kids.”

  “Well, this is just sad then.” Kenny gestures to the nearly empty dance floor that’s been set up in the middle of the gym. “Kids these days don’t appreciate the finer points of romance.”

  God bless him for his constant loyalty, sense of comedic timing, and genuine friendship. “You’re not that much older than these kids. You can’t act like you wrote the book on romance.”

  He tips his red Solo cup of punch toward me. “I romanced ya right, Lenore Wheeler. Even if Jesse was the reason I pulled out all the stops, don’t think about denyin’ it.”

  “I would never.” I place a hand over my heart to emphasize my honesty and to dull the pain. I glace toward the huddled groups of students seated on the bleachers. “Please, Mr. Lawson. Educate me. What are they doing wrong?”

  He stares at me like I’m out of my mind. “Well, they ain’t havin’ fun for starters!”

  “We did have some fun,” I murmur, shaking my head to clear the cobwebs of memories. “I don’t think I ever thanked you enough for the way you spoiled me.”

  He grins. “Ya coulda thanked me a little more in the backseat of my car.”

  I have an entirely different perspective now than I ever have before, but some consequences of the past remain unchanged. “It was actually me—not him—who wanted you to be the volunteer sex educator. If anyone can teach these young men how to respect a woman’s mind, heart, and body, it’s you.”

  “That’s high praise from a classy lady like yourself.” He wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me in to kiss the top of my hair, his voice strained. “Thank ya kindly.”

  His level of emotion surprises me, especially after all he’s revealed. “I shouldn’t have accepted all your gifts. And I shouldn’t have let you spend as much money as you did on all those dates. You’re a good man, Kenny Lawson. You deserve as much respect as you gave me.” I sigh with my hands on my hips as I survey the disappointing turn out for tonight’s dance. “Guess I should add on a section for the girls about respect. It’s a two-way street. I practically wrote the book on what not to do while dating.”

  “That’s a terrible idea! What do you wanna do? Scare ‘em off from even givin’ us poor hillbillies a chance?”

  I blink, impressed yet again by the many intricate layers of this former small-town football star. “You mean to tell me you weren’t even a little mad that after all your time and attention, I refused to so much as kiss you because I confessed I loved someone else?”

  “No, I wasn’t mad!” He folds his big hands around the lapels of his jacket, pride wafting off him like cheap cologne. “Just because I knew Jesse’s mind on the matter didn’t mean ya felt the same. I was respectful, but ya was still fair game until ya said otherwise. If anythin’, I take full credit for helpin’ ya to know your own mind.”

  “I’m not sure we can make a lesson plan out of something that complex.” I want so much better for these kids and for my own daughter than what was handed to us back in the day.

  “Sure, we can! Think of it this way. Datin’ is a lot like football practice. Ya run a bunch of different plays, learnin’ all the rules of the game as ya go. Ya prepare for the worst and hope for the best. But ya ain’t never gonna know if all your preparations were worth it until ya get out there on the field in a real game against real opponents instead of practicin’ against your own teammates. All the plays ya learned will work against some teams. They’ll be useless
against others. It all depends on the match-up.” He pops his eyebrows. “Half the fun is findin’ out which teams ya can beat and which ones are gonna put ya down.”

  “Are you implying I put you down?” That doesn’t make me feel any better, but I do appreciate his insightful analogy.

  He laughs. “Yeah, ya did. That’s all right. We weren’t a good match, but that don’t mean we didn’t have fun findin’ out as much.” He squints at the bleachers, where groups of girls are huddled on the opposite side of the gym from the boys. “That’s what they’re doin’ all wrong. They’re too scared to even try. Even scrawny, poor, little Jesse Yates tried more than they are.”

  I ignore the mention of Jesse’s name. Just like I do when Liz pleads for me to give things between us a chance. “Fear of rejection is a powerful deterrent.”

  He rolls his eyes. “Not enough fear to keep ‘em from becomin’ parents too young.”

  My brows flatten as I give him a deadpan glare. He wasn’t kidding about being in Jesse’s corner, in spite of proving he’s also in mine.

  He grins. “Nurse Kenny to the rescue!”

  Before I even know what to expect, he drags me from my position behind the punch table to the middle of the dance floor.

  “First, we’re gonna teach ‘em how to have fun.” He twirls me around like I’m as pliable as wet clay before wrapping his hands around my waist and moving us across the floor in a way I’m bound to follow. “Then, I’ll teach ‘em how to wrap it up.”

  I throw my head back and laugh. For a few songs, all my problems float away. “Kenny Lawson, how are you not a taken man by now?”

  He shrugs. “I ain’t found my right match yet. Don’t mean I’m gonna sulk on the sideline. I’d rather play the field and have a good time doin’ it.”

  When I stop to catch my breath, I glance around to find a surprising number of students surrounding us on the dance floor. I grin at Kenny. “You are definitely a good time. And you’re going to make an even better teacher.”

  The upbeat song fades to a slower one. The kind meant for feeling the rhythm of another heartbeat.

  Bobbi Sue drags Jesse toward the dance floor.

  “Oh, no,” I mutter.

  Kenny smiles at me. “Go on. I’m pullin’ for ya two. I ain’t gonna hide it no more.”

  I glance up at him. “I don’t mean to speak ill of your best friend, but…The man can’t dance. It doesn’t matter who he’s with. Bobbi Sue’s gonna make a fool of him in front of all his students, and she doesn’t even realize it.”

  Kenny chuckles and stares at them for a few seconds. “He might have served himself up to me on a silver platter to get a good beatin’, but hell. Pride has its place. We gotta get him off the dance floor. He looks like a scarecrow with a two by four up his ass.”

  I don’t mean to laugh, but I can’t help it. Kenny’s analogies are on fire tonight. “I can’t help him this time. I tried to teach him years ago. Dancing might be the one thing he’s not good at.”

  “If you’re not gonna help him, then I am.” To prove his point, he drags me to where Bobbi Sue is having no luck at all trying to get Jesse to relax. Kenny stares at them until they break apart. “Hey, ya wanna punch me?”

  They gape at him like he’s mad.

  Bobbi Sue responds first. “Why? Have ya done somethin’ worth punchin’?”

  “He asked some students if they’d brought anything to spike the punch with,” I offer.

  “You’re supposed to be a chaperone, not a bad influence!” Jesse hisses.

  Kenny shoots me a side grin like Jesse just proved his point that we’re meant to be or something stupid like that. “Well, this here dance is borin’. I’m just tryin’ to liven things up a bit!”

  Bobbi Sue’s shoulders slump in obvious disappointment. “The carnival went so well. I done thought more kids would be excited to have school dances again.”

  Jesse wraps his arm around Bobbi Sue’s shoulders and gives her a comforting squeeze. “Ya did a good job. This is only the first year. Didn’t ya tell me change takes time?”

  She smiles dreamily up at him. “That I did.”

  “Well, this ain’t a change for the better,” Kenny mutters at my side.

  Jesse’s gaze snaps to Kenny. “Ya got somethin’ ya wanna share, Mr. Lawson?”

  Kenny scoffs as renewed anxiety builds in my muscles. “Don’t ya go takin’ that teacher tone with me, Jesse Yates. I’ll still lay ya out flat if I have to.”

  Jesse rolls his eyes. “I could take ya now. Easily.”

  “Well, then.” Kenny puffs up his chest. “Let’s just step outside and see about that.”

  “Y’all are supposed to be the adults here,” I whisper, glancing around to make sure the students aren’t paying us any attention. “No one is going to fight. For any reason.”

  Bobbi Sue wraps her hands around Jesse’s bicep, giving it a firm squeeze as she giggles. “I reckon Jesse’s right. He could take ya down now, Kenny.”

  “Oh, woman. Stop embarassin’ yourself,” Kenny spits. “Ya done told this man he had a butt for a chin when we was kids. Ya ain’t suddenly attracted to him.”

  The violent urge to laugh dulls the edges of my unease. “Gentlemen, please…Let’s be civil.”

  “You’re darn right we should be civil. Mind your manners, Mr. Lawson,” Jesse grits out. “That’s no way to speak to a lady.”

  Bobbi Sue smiles. Her arm slithers around Jesse’s waist beneath his suit jacket. “Like I done already told Jesse, change takes time. This man changed for the better, and there ain’t no harm in admittin’ past mistakes. I reckon I was wrong before, but that’s all right. Jesse is the forgivin’ kind. Ya could learn a thing or two from a fine man like him, Kenny.”

  My blood boils while Kenny and Jesse continue their strained, silent standoff.

  I did not bury myself just to hand Jesse over to the likes of Bobbi Sue Gentry Eakins. No, sir. “What’s his favorite color?”

  Bobbi Sue cocks her head back in confusion. “Pardon?”

  “Jesse.” I thumb at the man who’s staring at me, as baffled as his date. “What’s his favorite color? What’s his favorite supper? What’s his favorite book? When’s his birthday? What’s his middle name? Was his daddy in the navy or the army? Have ya ever laid flowers at his maw-maw’s grave? Did ya know she taught him how to read before we was even in kindergarten? Are ya as grateful for that as ya should be?” I step right up to her. “Have ya ever met his mama in town and looked her in the eyes? Gave her the respect she deserves for raisin’ such a fine man? Or did ya turn and look the other way?”

  Bobbi Sue opens and closes her mouth in rapid movements without making a sound. I’m vaguely aware of Kenny snickering beside me, and Jesse staring with wide eyes.

  I’m just getting started. I close the distance between us, forcing her away from Jesse’s side. “Did ya or did ya not compare the dimple in his chin to an ass without botherin’ to notice his eyes are the purest green ya could ever find in these here mountains? Ya think he’s the most handsome upstandin’ man ya ever seen now, but are ya gonna stand by him when he gets mean and moody ‘cause somethin’s eatin’ at him that he don’t wanna burden ya with? Are ya gonna know when his pride’s holdin’ his tongue, and he needs your comfort instead of your anger? Are ya gonna love him at his worst and fight to always give him your best?” I take another step forward until we’re nearly plastered chest to chest. “Are ya gonna know how to please him, Bobbi Sue? I mean, really please him. Are ya gonna know he don’t want no model from a magazine more than a real woman who ain’t afraid to breathe a little fire into his veins?”

  Strong arms pull me away until my heaving chest is pressed against a hard one that doesn’t budge an inch.

  “That ain’t the kind of sex ed I had in mind for our students,” Jesse whispers in my ear. “Fact, I’m not sure Kenny or Bobbi Sue needed to hear that neither.” He bands his arms tighter around me, seeming to sense I’m not out of steam yet. “Hush now.
I don’t wanna have to fire ya for startin’ a fight in my buildin’.”

  “Do it,” I dare. I never even considered being poorly behaved could be my only way out of this mess. “Give me a reason to leave. I’m itchin’ for one.”

  “Oh, I know ya are.” He sways us like this is the most romantic example of how to dance. “That’s why I ain’t gonna be the one to make ya run. I know that scene in town hurt ya. And I’d never do anythin’ to hurt Anne. I promise I’ll lay low for a while to give ya time to lick your wounds.”

  I slump against his chest. I should’ve known he’d call my bluff. He’s done it before. “Let us be, Jesse. Please.”

  He kisses the top of my head then rests his cheek against my hair. “I know ya love me, darlin’. Ya didn’t have to spout off to Bobbi Sue like that to prove it. When you’re good and ready, I’ll be here.”

  Eight Years Ago

  “Ya bought new clothes!”

  I thought I’d seen every expression Jesse could ever make, but his cheeks pink as he glances down at his plaid button-up and jeans that fit well. There’s not a smudge of dirt or rip in sight.

  “Figured I should dress appropriately for dinner with your folks.”

  I pull him in the front door with a wide smile splitting my cheeks. “Pride has its place. Ya look right handsome, and I’m sure Mama and Daddy will appreciate your efforts.”

  He plants his feet at the threshold, refusing to follow me deeper into the house.

  “Ya act like ya ain’t never had a meal in this house, Jesse Yates. What gives?”

  “Things are a might different now,” he mumbles, kissing me on the forehead as he closes the door behind him. “I surely ain’t never been summoned like this before. I’d rather know what I’m walkin’ into.”

  I can’t help but laugh at his uncharacteristic nerves. “I hate to disappoint your thirst for drama, but it’s just a nice family supper.”

  He gives me the look as I take him by the hand to lead him into the kitchen.

  “Well, my lands!” Mama beams at him when she turns from the stovetop. “Ya clean up mighty nice, Jesse! I reckon you’re gonna grow into one of the handsomest men Martins Landing done ever produced!”