by M. Sembera
As I shook my head in mock confusion, he laughed. "You always carry a pair of lady underwear around in your pocket or is today special?"
I glanced down at myself and sure enough, Tansy's lacy white thong was hanging halfway out of my front left pocket. I don't even remember sticking it in there.
"Where is everyone?"
"At my house."
Breathing a sigh of relief, I assured, "Man, you just don't even know..."
Shaking his head at me, he replied, "Yea, you're right about that. So, you in or what?"
"What's up?"
An irritated expression formed as he shared, "Joie's got this new manager at work. She went in this morning to ask if she could trade shifts with someone because of her hand."
"And?"
"And he said yea, if she did him an unprofessional type favor."
"What the hell?"
A wide smile spread across his face as he nodded, "So, I thought I'd go introduce myself, real proper like, ya know."
"Let me take a quick shower."
Palmer gave an appreciative nod as I headed to my room.
When we walked into the corner store where Joie worked we were greeted by a cheerful redhead behind the counter.
"Hey, Palmer. First, when'd you get home? You down for the summer?"
"Palmer smiled at her greeting, "Hey, Teressa," before I answered, "A couple of days ago, I'll be here until the fall semester starts."
Her smile was bright as she replied, "That's great! I'll have to tell Bradley that I saw you."
"How's he doing?"
"Good, he's working for your cousin Oran."
"That's good, and the baby?"
"He's not a baby anymore, he's three." She laughed.
I guess I hadn't realized how much time had passed as I stated, "No way, I remember..." before Palmer broke in, "Hate to break up your little reunion but where's your boss?"
Teressa gave an unpleasant expression as she pointed to a door on the opposite wall at the end of the counter. "Ugh, I can't stand that man. Did Joie tell you what he said to her this morning?"
"That's why I'm here."
As Palmer headed to the door, I followed.
He turned the knob and pushed the door open.
Without looking, Joie's manager stated, "Restroom's the next door to your right."
"Thanks for the tip. That's not why I'm here," Palmer replied as I shut the door causing him to look up at us from behind his desk.
The guy appeared to be in his late forties with a head full of greasy, grayish-brown hair and two day old stubble on his chin.
Sounding put out, he asked, "Can I help you?"
"Yea, I'm Palmer, a friend of Joie's."
A pervish smile formed as he sucked air through his teeth saying, "The blonde? I like her."
No sooner did the works come out of his mouth than Palmer reached across his desk, grabbed hold of the front of his shirt and pulled him over the desk.
Slamming him down on the top of the desk, Palmer leaned over him and growled, "Say that again, 'cause all I heard was, you want your face smashed in."
"I'll have the police here and you on your way to jail in nothing flat," he seethed at Palmer as he tried to get away.
"Go ahead, call em'. I want you to 'cause asking for sexual favors for compensation is against the law and I'll be happy to share with them the conversation you had with Joie this morning. Maybe they'll arrest us both and we can share a cell."
He stopped squirming around on the desk and stared up at Palmer.
"That's right, not only am I good lookin' I'm smart too."
I wanted to laugh. Leave it to Palmer to compliment himself while he's getting ready to kick some guy's ass.
"Alright, I'm sorry. It won't happen again."
"Damn right it won't, and my man First here's a witness. I find out you disrespect any woman and we'll both be back to pay you a visit."
Joie's manager nodded and Palmer slowly let go of him.
"Yea, that's right. You don't want us comin' back 'cause believe me, I'm the nice one," Palmer shared before turning towards me.
I opened the door for Palmer and gave Joie's manager a hard stare before following him out.
After saying goodbye to Teressa we left the corner store and headed to Joie's.
"You're the nice one?" I questioned, finding the whole incident humorous the more I thought about it.
"What? I was in the moment." He shrugged before saying, "Don't let that pretty little thong of yours get all bunchy now, we all know you're really the nice one."
I laughed at first then for some reason his reference to Tansy's thong brought last night to mind.
"How did Tansy end up with my car last night?"
Palmer glanced over his shoulder with a scowl at first then he slowly smiled. "Why? Are the two related?"
I glared at him for a second before he answered.
"I don't know. Joie drove me home last night in my car so she could use it this morning, we left before y'all."
"As long as I didn't make an ass out of myself again like the first night I got back."
Laughing, he replied, "Yea, that was a good night."
Thanks for that.
As soon as we got to Joie's house, Palmer started fussing over her and her hand. While he made her stand in her bathroom with him so he could check it, like it was a doctor's office, I waited in the kitchen with Tansy.
Tucking her hair behind her ear, she looked up at me and smiled. "How's your day been so far?"
She was being coy with me and I wasn’t sure how to respond. I wanted to kiss her though.
"So far it's been really good. How about yours?"
Shrugging her shoulder at me, she replied, "Alright, I guess."
With wide eyes, I looked at her like she's crazy until she started laughing at me.
"Kidding." She giggled with a wide smile now fixed across her face.
I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close, assuring, "You better be."
"You should have seen your face."
Rolling my eyes at her, I smiled. She was playing with me. I liked that. We're both relaxed around each other but I still wanted to kiss her.
Lowering my voice, I questioned, "Did you tell Joie?"
Shaking her head, she asked, "Does Palmer know?"
Maybe, but he won't say anything.
"I didn't tell him."
She nodded this time and the look in her eyes said ‘no one needs to know but we're nowhere near done’. I bit my bottom lip to keep from kissing her. It was perfect timing too because as soon as she slipped out of my arms, Palmer and Joie walked in.
Chapter Nine
The sun was setting as we sat out on Palmer's front porch. It was a rite of passage so to speak. When we were kids, the grownups sat outside while us kids played inside. Now, it seemed as though we had graduated to full-fledged adulthood by claiming the porch.
It was peaceful out, loud, but calming at the same time because it felt like home. Wren, Palmer and Roe were playing dominos and talking mess to each other while Joie and Tansy were texting; I assumed each other by the way they kept looking at each other and laughing each time one was sent. I started to wonder why I wanted to leave this place, why I was so ready to be anywhere but here and then my eyes fell on Tansy. She looked so happy; like she belonged. She belongs here. This is her family but it's mine too, and that's the problem. I can't have her like I want. We could never sit out here together like my parents used to, mom on dad's lap, his arms around her waist, kissing her cheek every so often just because. That's not even in the realm of possibilities for us. There is no us. There's me, then Tansy and this summer. That's it, nothing more.
My parent's voices began to ring in my ears.
"What in the hell were you thinking?"
"She's family."
"She's your cousin."
"You took advantage of her."
I could feel my chest starting to ache. Maybe there was something wro
ng with me, or her, possibly both of us. I should have stopped her before things went too far, except I couldn't. I can't. Blood wasn’t the issue here, family was. Blood or not, which we're not, what we did today was wrong just like it was when we were fifteen.
When I caught myself staring at Tansy, I noticed her looking back at me. She knew what I was thinking. I could tell by the expression on her face.
"First, will you walk out to Palmer's car with me so I can grab my purse?"
"Yea."
I waited for her to stand up and walk past me before getting up and following her off the porch.
We were two cars away from Palmer's car when she stopped for a moment and then continued ahead.
"Just don't say it, okay."
Why did she ask me to walk out here if she didn't want me to say anything?
"Don't say what?"
Stopping right before we made it to the car, she looked up at me. "Today was whatever."
What the hell?
"Is that right?"
Giving me a short nod, she stated, "Yep."
"Are you being serious?"
Appearing nonchalant about it, she replied, "Take it for what you want."
Look, I'm a smart guy, alright. I graduated in the top ten percent of my class but I'm so confused right now, I can't help feeling dense.
"What does that even mean?"
Placing her hand on her hip, she informed, "There's plenty of guys around here that wouldn't be sorry for being with me, guys that would be happy to, guilt free."
I couldn’t comprehend what she was saying at the moment and spit out the first thing that came to mind.
"Oh, guys like Roe?"
Raising her eyebrows at me, she stiffened her back and looked at me like I just dared her.
"You want me to get with Roe?"
Without waiting for me to answer, she marched back to the porch.
Taking long strides to catch up with her, I stopped on the steps just in time to see her walk up next to Roe. Grabbing his face with both hands, she kissed him full on the mouth. After a full minute, she pulled away and even though everyone was staring at her, she didn't seem bothered. With a sarcastic smile she looked directly at me and sat back down.
I couldn't move. I wanted to be angry but I was too stunned at what I just witnessed for the emotion to break through. What the hell? I mean, really, what the hell?
Joie started to laugh but it came out a bit nervous as she looked at me. Holding up his hands, Roe shook his head at me. Then Palmer and Wren were staring at me. I couldn't take it anymore. Turning on the step, I took off down the driveway.
The gravel crunched beneath my shoes as I headed to who knows where. I hadn't thought that far ahead. I couldn't think at all. Everything was jumbled up in my head. This afternoon, five years ago, tonight, it was all blurring together into one big plight. As I reached the end of the gravel driveway, I noticed headlights flash behind me.
Stepping out of the way, I heard Palmer offer, "Get in, I'll give you a lift home."
Shaking my head, I glanced down the road.
"Come on, man, I already got one silly blonde to keep an eye on, don't make me baby sit your ass too."
I stopped, looked down at him and started to laugh.
"Thanks for putting things into perspective for me."
A few minutes into my ride home, Palmer decided to rehash the evening.
"I don't think anyone was as shocked as Roe." He laughed as he glanced at me from the corner of his eye.
He was probably right.
"Did you see his face? He may have fallen in love a little," he continued.
A sour expression settled on my face as I stared at him.
"I bet you, if she was serious, he'd be on her in a heartbeat."
Does he want me to punch him in his mouth?
"All I'm sayin' is, girls like her are hard to come by and you gotta be some kind of a dumbass to pass an opportunity like that up."
"Did you just call me a dumbass?"
With a slight smirk, he replied, "Depends. Are you?"
"I am if you are," I challenged back at him, because he was starting to piss me off and apparently that make me act like a twelve year old.
"See, man, this is where you and I are different. I may be attracted to Joie in ways I didn't even think possible but she'll never know and neither will anyone else because I know how to control myself. You, on the other hand, sulk around pining for Tansy in front of God and everybody, and not to mention, you look at her like she's the long lost puppy that you've always wanted."
"I can control myself."
"You can? When ya gonna start? 'Cause this has been goin' on since we were kids."
Leaning my head back against the headrest, I closed my eyes.
"He asked you out?"
"Well, no. He asked me to be his girlfriend."
She couldn't be. My stomach was in knots. She's mine.
"What did you say?"
Tucking her hair behind her ear, she replied, "I told him no."
"You did?" I questioned, feeling relieved.
"Yea. I mean, he's cute but I prefer spending time with you."
My chest swelled as she smiled.
"Besides, we pinkie-promised. Remember?"
Chapter Ten
Lying on the bed in my room, I stared at the ceiling. I'd barely been here a week and it felt like the time right before she left; except she's wasn’t leaving this time. I wished I was more like Palmer who was always in control. I'd even take being emotionless like Roe at this point because I wasn’t going anywhere either, at least not for the next month and a half. I couldn’t avoid her, but I couldn’t be around her. It wasn’t like I cared what other people thought but I remembered what being with her did to my family the first time. Most of all, I hurt Tansy. We were the only family she had ever really known. Meanwhile, I never suffered any consequences. Nothing even happened to me, except for the perpetual self-inflicted guilt that seemed to be eating away at me from the inside out.
I decided a goodnight’s sleep, something I hadn't had since I got here, might help. As soon as I closed my eyes, my bedroom door flew open.
"What do you think you're doing?" my sister griped, stepping into my room and slamming the door closed behind herself.
"I was going to sleep, now get out."
"What in the hell is your problem?"
Slowly sitting up, I shared, "At the moment, you're in here so you’re the problem."
"Too bad for you, I'm not leaving until you start acting right."
Pointing toward my door, I fussed, "Shut up and get out."
Wren shook her head at me, refusing to leave.
"If you could stop being a little drama queen for like five minutes, you might recall there were two people involved in the nastiness that took place between you and Tansy."
"Please, get out."
"Did it ever occur to you, that aside from being irresponsible, you weren't responsible for what happened?"
This should be interesting.
"Really? How's that, oh wise one?"
A sarcastic smirk crossed her face as she flipped her red hair off her shoulder and informed, "You're spending all this time making everyone around you miserable because you're worried about the wrong thing."
"You're right! I feel so much better," I exclaimed, jumping to my feet. "Now get out."
Wren coughed out a fake laugh then glared at me.
"Okay fine, just tell me this and I'll leave. Whose idea was it?"
"What do you mean?"
"You were afraid to kiss Jeanette Keener behind the gym in eighth grade and in ninth, when Katy Armstrong said she'd let you stick your hand up her shirt, you were so nervous you told on yourself."
Shrugging a shoulder at her, I shook my head.
Rolling her eyes at me, she explained, "Things may be different for you now, and trust me I don't need to know if they are, but back then, that's who you were. You were a nice guy."
"
So?"
"So, I find it really hard to believe the fifteen year old you lured her to your room under naughty pretenses."
I stood there staring at her. She wasn't wrong.
"Now, get over yourself, start acting right and try being a man for once in your life. That's all I have to say." As she turned to open the door, she glanced over her shoulder at me, adding, "And it would be nice if you stopped by to see grandma and grandpa when they get back, since apparently you forgot about them."
Grabbing the door as she swung it open, I asked, "Where'd they go?"
"Away for their anniversary."
"When are they coming back?"
"Day after tomorrow, why?"
Ignoring her question, I threw on my shoes, grabbed my keys and blew past her still standing in my doorway.
Driving out to my grandparent's house, I had to admit having a sister, even one like mine, wasn't without merit. Everything Wren said made enough sense for me to take it for what it was worth. It was worth a conversation with Tansy, a real one. A conversation I think she tried to have with me the first night I was back. Palmer was right, I am a dumbass.
As I pulled up to the back driveway of my grandparent's house, my cell phone began to ring.
Damn it.
My dad's tone was short as he questioned, "You alright?" before I had a chance to say hello.
"Yes, sir."
I could hear him say something muffled to my mom along the lines of he's fine.
"You sure?"
Nodding into the phone, I replied, "I just have to take care of something."
"Alright, be careful."
"Thanks, dad, I will."
He may have known where I was without me saying. I kind of hoped so. It made me feel like I had his permission, which wasn't necessary, but in the struggle of right verses wrong, the thought slightly eased my conscience.
I parked under the breezeway between the back door and the garage, debating on whether I should knock or use the spare key and just walk in. I didn't want to scare her but at the same time I didn't want to give her the chance to turn me away at the door. As I slid out of the driver's seat, the back door opened revealing Tansy standing there in purple pajama bottoms and a white tank top, glaring at me before slamming the door shut. Guess that settles that debate.