Orange Moon

by Barbara Sheridan

  Toru met Sasao’s gaze. “At least this way, if things aren’t meant to work out romantically, I can just disappear from his life without hurting or offending him more. Hideki would never have to know a bisexual man loves him.”

  Sasao pressed her lips together. “Toru ...”

  He gave her a smile and chuckled lightly before she could finish her thought and say something to make him feel worse than he already did. “Hey, it’s kind of fun raiding your closet again after all these years.” Toru winked at Sasao. “I don’t miss the crappy makeup calls before going on stage, but dressing up and pretending to be someone else has its perks.”

  “One of them being Hideki Sakae?” Sasao raised her eyebrows.

  “Cheers.” Toru held up his wineglass and toasted himself.

  * * * * *

  Hideki grimaced as his mother droned on with her telephone lecture.

  “How could you attack Yuki Kido like that? I could barely face his mother after she told me. I thought I’d be asked to leave the hospital charity committee because of the shame of it all!”

  “I’ve known Yuki my whole life, and you know what an as -- a jerk he can be. He was asking for it. And it isn’t as though I damaged anything but his huge ego.”

  “But, Hide-chan, you’ve been suspended. How will that look to the public? Your fans will be ashamed to admire you and your music.”

  “Everything will be fine as long as Yuki keeps his big mouth shut and doesn’t go making up stories.”

  “Hide ...”

  “Mom, I have to go; someone is at my door.”

  Hideki’s mother gasped. “Don’t answer. It may be a reporter. You’ll be ruined.”

  “Mom. I need to go. Goodbye. I love you, and I’ll call soon.”

  Shit. If it was a reporter, what would he say? Professional misunderstanding? Hideki took a deep breath and opened the door a crack. “Oh. Hello.”

  “It isn’t a bad time, is it, Sakae-san? I’m sure you’re very busy.”

  “No. I wasn’t busy. Please come in.” He stepped back, and his new neighbor entered, slipping off her shoes as she did so. She was wearing another pink top and a dark brown skirt this time. And again he was struck by her attractiveness. She was tall and thin with just a hint of feminine curves. He’d never really been attracted to girls who were built like their more curvaceous Western counterparts.

  Ryoko looked down at the floor. “I don’t want to intrude. I just wanted to come by and ask about the damage to your car. That dent in the roof is awful.”

  She glanced up, and Hideki found himself entranced by her warm brown eyes. “I haven’t been to a garage yet. It’s minor, and it was an accident. I’ll take care of it.”

  “Oh, I can’t ask you to do that. I was so careless.”

  “You were in a hurry. There was no real harm done. Oh, did your interview go well?”

  Ryoko frowned. “They didn’t offer me the job, but said they’d call me if something came up.”

  Hideki gestured for her to come into the living room. He sat on the sleek chrome and leather chair. She took the suede sofa. “What is it you do?”

  “Uh ...” Ryoko coughed into her hand, suddenly very nervous. She looked away and tugged at some of the curls of hair pinned back from her face. “Well ...”

  Hideki raised his hands. “No, no, it’s okay,” he said quickly. “I don’t want to pry or anything.”

  Ryoko chewed on her quivering lower lip, and Hideki had the bad feeling that maybe he’d offended her. He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m really sorry, Ryoko-san. Please, I didn’t mean to say anything wrong.”

  The girl looked even more distraught, like she might even cry. Hideki kicked himself mentally -- hard. What kind of an ass was he being these days?

  “Oh, no, of course you haven’t said anything wrong.” Ryoko leaned back on the sofa and wrapped her arms around her knees. “It’s just, well, I ...” She blurted out the rest, her voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve always had this silly dream of being a fashion model. But I’m from a backward little farming town in the south.” She sighed and rested her chin on her hand. “I had to work a few years after school to save up for professional portfolio photos to be taken. I finally got them last year and moved here, but every time I get an interview to model, they take one look at me and say I’m too old.” She paused. “I didn’t mean to burden you with all that,” she said quietly. “It sort of just ... came out.”

  “Don’t apologize. It’s okay,” Hideki said. He moved into the attached kitchen and returned with two bottles of flavored water. He handed one to Ryoko. “They’re idiots, you know. You’re beautiful. I’d look at any magazine with you on the cover.”

  “Sakae-san --” She broke off when his cell phone rang.

  Hideki looked at his caller ID. “It’s my mother. I’ll just be a minute.” He walked into the kitchen and listened to his mother exclaim that she’d found him the perfect date for the family wedding he was to attend the following week, a girl from his old neighborhood who was the most shallow creature on the face of the planet. “But I have a date. It’s a friend from my building. Her name is Ryoko.”

  He could hear his mother on the other end of the line as she sucked in a deep breath a second before the flood of questions came. “You have a date already? She lives in your building? How long have you known her? What does she do? Are her parents famous?”

  Hideki rolled his eyes and leaned his back on the edge of the kitchen counter. “Mom, this isn’t a good time.” He kept glancing through the opening in the wall over the stove that faced out into the living room to look at Ryoko.

  She really was so beautiful ...

  “But what about Ayumi?” his mother insisted. “Her father is the editor of Pop Magazine -- this could be just the opportunity you need.”

  Why was his mother sounding more like his manager every time she called?

  “I really have to go, Mom,” Hideki said, his gaze stuck on Ryoko. “I’ll call you later.” He flipped the phone closed and went back into the living room.

  “Sorry about that,” he apologized with a small smile.

  “It’s okay.” Ryoko’s grin could’ve knocked him flat, but fortunately he was already dropping into his chair across from her. She had the cutest dimples when she smiled, and her eyes reflected all that warmth.

  “I, um, about that ‘date’ ...”

  Hideki’s cheeks burned. “Oh, my God, you heard ...?”

  Ryoko giggled. “So, aren’t you going to invite me?”

  “I would love to, but it’s a family wedding. A very long, dull, too many hours with my annoying family wedding.”

  Ryoko laughed. “I have a family like that. I’m used to annoying.” She sipped her water, and the smile gradually fell from her face. “But I’m sorry. You surely wouldn’t want to go with me.”

  Hideki went to sit beside her on the sofa. “But I would. I think having you there would make the day enjoyable. At least I’ll have someone to talk to who won’t keep turning the subject to my career. It's such a pain to always be Hideki the entertainer. I'd like to just be Hideki the person for awhile.”

  She smiled again, and the warmth in her eyes was like a caress. “I'd like to spend time with Hideki the person.”

  “Then it’s a date.” He extended his hand.

  She shook it and smiled. “It is.”

  Chapter Three

  Toru rifled through the closet, tossing out blouses and skirts as he ripped them off the hangers.

  “Hey!” Sasao whined from the bed behind him. “Some of that stuff is expensive!”

  “And all about two sizes too small.” Toru banged his head on the closet’s doorframe.

  “You could go shopping for your own clothes, you know,” Sasao grumbled.

  Toru glared at her. “Sure. Go shopping for women’s clothing only a couple of hours before I have to meet Hideki for the wedding and risk getting swamped by fucking paparazzi or some shit.”

  “You could
have done it sooner. You’ve had a week.”

  “I’ve been working with the band finishing up the new album. I’ve been in the studio twelve hours a day.”

  Sasao scrambled off the bed and picked up a green, satiny blouse he’d tossed on the floor. “At least don’t toss my stuff around like that -- this is Prada, you know!” She waved it in his face before sitting back down on the edge of the bed and folding her arms across the front of her Badzmaru t-shirt. “I’m not planning another shopping spree in Hawaii anytime soon, so be careful!”

  “Sorry.” Toru sighed and sank down to the floor. “I wasn’t really ready for this.” He reached into the back pocket of his jeans to grab a cigarette, but the pack was empty. “Great,” he sighed again.

  Sasao gave him a guilty kind of look and slumped her shoulders. “I guess I’ve got something you could use ...” She went over to the closet and stepped over his outstretched legs as she reached for a box on the top shelf he’d missed.

  “This is the nicest thing I’ve ever owned, so you have to be careful.” Sasao took the shoulder-width sized box over to the bed. She whipped around and emphasized, “Careful.”

  Toru raised his eyebrows and joined her by the bed as she opened the box. Inside was a pale blue silk kimono, with white and gold cranes and pink sakura blossoms carefully stitched into the fabric.

  “It’s beautiful,” Toru breathed as she held it up for him to get a better look. “And with that on, it’ll hide the fact I have no breasts.”

  * * * * *

  “Are you sure he didn’t see you come up here?”

  “No, he did not,” Sasao said. “And if he had, I doubt he would have recognized me in this.” She gestured to her baggy camouflage pants, formless black t-shirt, and the long black wig she’d tossed onto the bed. “Now sit still so I can finish your hair. I don’t think I like ‘Ryoko’ very much at all.”

  “What?”

  Sasao laughed and stepped away from the full-length mirror so Toru could see himself the way she saw him. “Ryoko makes the kimono look better than I ever did.”

  He laughed and patted his chest. “It’s the absence of real boobs that gives it that classic shape.”

  The doorbell buzzed, and Toru could swear he felt the color drain from his cheeks. “He’s here. Are you sure this is convincing?”

  “As convincing as last time.”

  Giving a nervous smile, Toru slipped into the blue flats he’d found in an old box back at his apartment on the other side of the city. He grabbed the small silk handbag that had come with the kimono and gave his upswept hair a quick check in the mirror. “Make sure you don’t leave until after we go.”

  Sasao saluted. “Yes, sir, ma’am. Whatever.”

  Toru grinned and pinched her ass on the way out of the bedroom.

  Taking a deep breath, he opened the door as the buzzer sounded again. “Hi. I’m sorry it took so long.”

  “That’s okay,” Hideki said, stepping inside. “Wow. You look great. Beautiful.”

  Toru looked down, hating this deception, but very much loving the look that had been on the younger man’s face when the door opened. He glanced up again. “You’re sure it’s okay to dress traditionally?”

  “Definitely,” he said softly, his gaze sweeping over Toru from head to toe then back again. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a girl look so perfect in a kimono before.”

  Toru gave a nervous laugh. “Being flat-chested comes in handy sometimes.”

  * * * * *

  This was not a good idea, Toru’s common sense shouted as he walked into the wedding chapel on Hideki’s arm. You’d have thought that they were the bride and groom the way everyone turned to stare as they made their way to their seats in the front of the chapel, and he hoped to hell that someone didn’t figure out Ryoko was a guy.

  That’s exactly what he thought when two older women rushed forward, looks of total panic upon their faces.

  Hideki introduced them as his mother and his aunt. To Toru’s relief, he found that he wasn’t the crisis.

  “It’s horrible, Hide-chan,” Hideki’s mother said, wringing her hands. “Ono-san became ill and had to leave, and now we have no pianist for the Wedding March or for that song Megumi wants you to sing.”

  “I can play the music --”

  “No, no, no!” Mrs. Sakae said. “You can’t make the proper impression if you’re sitting with your back to everyone. You need to be standing so they can see you.”

  “Mama, this is Megumi’s day --”

  “Yes, of course it is, but Hana agrees. She wants you to stand and sing properly, don’t you?”

  Toru noticed that Mrs. Sakae was quick to poke her sister in the ribs to get her to agree.

  “You should, Hideki. Megumi wants you to.”

  “I can play the piano,” Toru’s big mouth said without his brain’s total consent. He bit his tongue to keep it from saying well, fuck it, then when Hideki’s mother gave him a look of loathing.

  “Ono-san didn’t leave the sheet music.”

  “It’s all right,” Toru said softly. “I know the Wedding March.”

  “But Hideki’s solo -- it has to be perfect.”

  Hideki groaned and shoved his hands into his trouser pockets. “Mama, please.”

  “What’s the song?” Toru asked him.

  “Orange Moon. The ballad by ChildsPrey. It’s an old one. I don’t suppose you know it.”

  “I do,” Toru said with a sweet smile. He knew it well. He’d written it while grieving over the accidental death of Minoru Yamazaki. “It’s a beautiful song.”

  “It is,” Hideki said peering deeply into Toru’s eyes. “You can actually feel the love that was poured into writing it.”

  Toru bit his lower lip and nodded.

  “Well, I suppose it’s settled then,” Mrs. Sakae interrupted. She pointed to where Toru should sit, then grabbed her son and propelled him over to speak with a cute girl and an older couple.

  What a dumb-ass you are, Toru’s common sense lectured. This is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done, and there have been quite a few vying for that honor.

  Toru sat at the polished walnut piano, the wide sleeves of the silk kimono carefully folded back. He played the western Wedding March, then sat quietly as the service commenced. He was conscious of Hideki’s gaze straying to him, lingering on him, making him feel warm and more alive than he had in a good many years. He smiled back shyly, feeling like a hopelessly shy teenager with his first real crush, and when the service neared its end and Hideki rose to sing as his cousin had requested, Toru turned back to the keyboard and began a slow introduction to the song that had haunted him for weeks, taunting him to put it down, release it to the public, let his pain flow out lest he drown in the sorrow.

  He almost faltered when Hideki began, his voice so rich, so full of the very emotion that had weighed Toru down from the moment he’d seen the news report that Minoru had been killed. Orange Moon had been like nothing ChildsPrey had ever released, and their manager had worried at the public’s reception, but it had been colossal, the haunting melody and heartfelt lyrics reaching out and touching so many fans and non-fans alike.

  Come to me in shadows

  Sweep into my dreams

  Whisper that you love me

  Take my lonely dreams away

  I lost you in the moonlight

  An orange moon so high

  Did you whisper that you loved me

  Will it take my pain away

  Come to me in shadows

  Sweep into my dreams

  Whisper that you love me

  This time ... I’ll do the same

  Toru realized he was crying when Hideki came and rested a hand gently upon his shoulder.

  “It was that bad, huh?” Hideki asked, and with such a straight face, too. Toru laughed despite himself. The sadness inside of his heart hurt a little less now with Hideki near.

  With a small frown, the singer squeezed Toru’s shoulder. “Is everything ok
ay?”

  Toru nodded and looked away, hoping that Sasao had tucked a handkerchief in the tiny purse. He felt a soft cloth brush his cheek and he gazed up at Hideki, who gently wiped away the tears still trickling from the corners of Toru’s eyes.

  “You’re so sad,” Hideki whispered.

  The sadness tugged at Toru’s heart again. “The way you sang ... it was so ... beautiful. That’s the way Orange Moon was meant to be sung.”

  Hideki eased on to the bench beside him. The church was packed with people, dozens of conversations running at once, and neither man seemed to even notice anymore.

  “Who are you thinking about?” Hideki asked. He dropped his hand down to place it over Toru’s. “That song ... it made you think of someone.”

  Toru turned his hand palm up so he could interlock his fingers with Hideki’s. “He was a ... a very close friend of mine. I didn’t tell him how much he really meant to me, and now it’s too late.”

  Hideki nodded. “I know exactly what you mean.”

  Before Toru could ask him to elaborate, the girl his mother had dragged him to see earlier came upon them along with her parents. It was clear the girl had a crush on Hideki, and Toru began to feel like a complete and utter idiot.

  He stood. “I’ll let you folks talk privately. Excuse me.”

  Hideki grabbed his hand, wrapped his fingers around Toru’s. “Stay. It’s time we head over to the reception anyway. We’ll see you there.” He bowed to the girl and her parents then pulled Toru away.

  Noticing the glare Hideki’s mother gave him as they exited the chapel, Toru attempted to pull his hand from Hideki’s, but Hideki held on tighter, interlacing their fingers as they descended the steps and went to Hideki’s car.

  Toru found himself dying a little inside when Hideki let his hand go, and he mentally kicked himself wondering if the makeup and gallon of hair gel was seeping into his brain and turning him to some kind of angsty, silly girl.

  Hideki reached over to brush a few strands of hair out of Toru’s eyes. The jolt Toru felt in his balls at the touch was a good reminder of just how much of a man he was.