Orange Moon

by Barbara Sheridan

  “I’m glad you came today, Ryoko.” Hideki smiled.

  Toru winced at the mention of his alter ego’s name, but did a pretty decent job of not letting it show on his face. “Me, too,” he answered softly. How happy would Hideki be if he knew the truth?

  It would probably be better if be found out sooner than later.

  Wouldn’t it?

  Chapter Four

  The large wedding reception at a prominent Tokyo hotel was the typical extended family affair, and Toru lost himself in the crowd as Hideki was swept away into the sea of relatives congratulating him on his success as one of the hottest new pop stars in Japan. He smiled to himself, remembering how it had been when he’d started out after leaving school. Of course, his relatives were more than a little weirded out by the entire visual kei thing, but then he’d always been the “odd one,” not content to stay in their quiet corner of Nagano and follow in the family’s restaurant business.

  Toru noticed that Hideki’s mother took great pleasure in dragging him over to visit with the Haradas, especially the cute little Ayumi. Apparently, the father was the publisher of Pop, the new “bible” for Japan’s up-and-coming boy bands. Luckily, they were a world apart from the harder metal scene ChildsPrey was into these days, but still Toru didn’t want to take a chance of being “outed” just yet.

  Returning the smile Hideki cast his way, Toru took a glass of champagne from a passing waiter then stepped out onto the terrace to grab a quick cigarette. He was leaning against the stone balustrade, partially concealed by a potted tree, when he recognized the voice of Hideki’s mother.

  “With any luck at all, she left. I want Hide-chan to spend more time with Ayumi. She’s the perfect girl for him. Absolutely perfect.”

  “But the one he was with seemed to be very nice.”

  Mrs. Sakae clicked her tongue. “What does she have to offer him? And she looks so much older. Did you see all that makeup she had slathered on her face? No. Hide-chan needs someone who can advance his career. And besides, Nippon is very constrictive about their boys dating. Why, I hear that Natsu Oshimura from G-9 has to keep his marriage a secret, so it doesn’t lose them fans. If Hide-chan is seen with Ayumi, it will be fine since her father is with the magazine. It’s a business move Nippon can’t possibly object to.”

  Toru smiled to himself. He could help advance Hideki’s career, too, and he would willingly do so, no matter what. The young man had talent and potential. He’d be only too happy to help get him a deal at his band’s record label.

  However, Hideki's being with Nippon Entertainment undoubtedly meant his contract contained their standard “non-compete” clause for five years or more after leaving the company. And, of course, only Toru could offer a music deal. Ryoko couldn’t do much. He doubted that the young fangirls of the type that Hideki’s group attracted would be very thrilled with their idol having a public relationship. Especially a homosexual one.

  He lit up his cigarette and stepped out from behind the potted plant. Mrs. Sakae gave a loud gasp as her jaw looked like it was about to hit the floor.

  “Sakae-san.” Toru gave her a polite -- if completely fake -- smile and a short bow at the waist. “Oh, I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”

  Hideki’s mother recovered from her surprise quickly. “Not at all.” She raised a hand to the string of pearls around her neck and pursed her lips disapprovingly at the cigarette in Toru’s hand. “You smoke.”

  “Only when I drink.” Toru lifted his glass of champagne at the two women and tried not to smirk. Usually he wasn’t this rude, but the disgusted look on Mrs. Sakae’s face was worth it.

  “I see.”

  “How rude of me.” Toru held the cigarette between his lips and reached into his purse with his free hand to pull out the pack. “Would you like one?”

  “No!”

  Toru shrugged and slipped the cigarette pack back into his purse. He wondered just how many girls with eyes for Hideki the woman had crushed with that look of total disgust. Probably quite a few.

  “There you two are.” Hideki came to join them, stepping immediately to Toru’s side. “Getting to know one another?”

  “Something like that,” Toru said sweetly.

  “Great.”

  Mrs. Sakae grabbed her son’s arm. “Hide-chan we need to talk --”

  Hideki removed her hand. “I can’t now. I wanted to tell you that I have to leave. I have a photo shoot in an hour.”

  “But you can’t go!”

  “I have to. It’s business. You understand.” He turned to Toru. “You don’t mind, do you? You can stay. My cousin Sano will give you a lift back to the apartment.”

  “No. It’s fine. I have some things to do myself.” Toru set the champagne glass on a nearby table.

  “But --”

  Hideki kissed his mother’s cheek and bowed to her companion. “Bye.”

  He grabbed Toru’s hand and headed down the wide steps leading to a small garden area and then around the side of the hotel to the parking lot. “Do you have another?”

  “Sure, but doesn’t your mother get upset that you’ll ruin your voice?”

  Hideki laughed. “My mother gets upset about everything, but I’m all grown up now,” he teased.

  “Yes, you certainly are,” Toru said noting how good the younger man looked as he pulled off his suit jacket and undid his tie and vest buttons. Blood rushed to his confined cock, and he winced.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. It’s nothing.” Toru leaned against the side of the car to finish his cigarette. “So where is your photo shoot? It sounds exciting.”

  Hideki laughed. “It’s all in my imagination, I’m afraid. I just needed to get out of there. Everyone was paying attention to me, and I could see it was bothering the hell out of my cousin and who can blame her? It’s her big day.” He sighed and leaned beside Toru. “I guess it’ll always be like this, though, and probably worse.’

  Toru nodded. “I suppose that’s the price of fame and fortune.”

  “Yeah.” Hideki finished his cigarette then pulled out his car keys. “Do you have time to go for a drive?”

  Toru nodded. “I don’t have anything else to do, really.” Hideki smiled and Toru’s blood rushed south once more. He hoped to hell the brace he was wearing held things in place.

  Hideki drove south, and in a little over an hour they were sitting quietly on the terrace of a small restaurant situated near the main buildings of Hase Temple. Looking out at the coastal city of Kanazawa below, Hideki held a small teacup in both hands and breathed a soft sigh. He looked at Toru, his warm brown eyes suddenly appearing quite old and worn.

  “Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it, you know? The music business. I love it. I love making music and sharing it with the world, but I don’t know; sometimes it’s just so damned hard living up to everyone’s expectations.”

  “I know how that is,” Toru agreed. “Not in regard to music, of course, but just in general, with the modeling dream and all.” Toru looked down into his own tea cup and told himself that this charade was so not a good idea, all the while knowing damn well he was loving this chance to be close and get to really know Hideki Sakae.

  Toru sipped his tea, then looked up with a grin. “Your mother hates me. She must think I’m some old gold digger out to take her son for a long ride to the poorhouse.”

  “How old are you? If you don’t mind me asking.”

  “Twenty-nine,” Toru answered truthfully. “Though some days I feel like I’m fifty.”

  Hideki laughed. “I’m twenty-two. Or I will be in a few weeks.”

  Toru smiled. “You get to celebrate your birthday with your first concert in America.” Hideki looked surprised, and Toru looked down into his cup again. “Sometimes I read those entertainment websites.”

  “Me, too. Mostly they’re full of shit though.”

  Toru looked up when Hideki reached out and touched his hand. Unable to help himself, Toru set down his cup an
d interlaced his fingers with Hideki’s.

  “I’m glad you dropped that planter on my car.” Hideki smiled.

  “I’m sure your car wouldn’t agree.”

  Hideki chuckled. “Really. I don’t have many friends, not outside the business. It’s nice to just be with a normal person. A beautiful, kind person.”

  “But your mother might be right, you know. I might not be what I seem at all. I might be the worst sort of person you could have met.”

  “I doubt that.”

  “Why?”

  Hideki shrugged and let Toru’s hand go. He smiled, though the good humor didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Maybe because my mother doesn’t like you. She only approves of the girls I can’t stand to be around.”

  Toru finished his tea. “I overheard her say someone in a band represented by your management company has to hide the fact that he’s married.”

  Hideki nodded. “It’s bullshit, really, but I guess I understand it business-wise.” He poured them more tea from the painted ceramic pot on the table between them. “I don’t know if I could do that, though. If I found someone I loved and wanted to be with, I might just walk away from it.”

  “But that would kill you,” Toru said. “Music is in your blood, I can tell.” He paused while Hideki nodded. “But you could go solo. You have the talent. And I’ve read that you write your own music.”

  Hideki nodded again. “I do, and I don’t want to sing that teenage pop forever. I want to do real rock and roll.”

  “You should. You’d be great. I just know it.”

  Hideki’s expression took on a faraway look and Toru wondered if he was remembering their recording session and how it had all just “clicked” so perfectly. Almost perfectly.

  “Hideki ...”

  “Yes?”

  Toru shook his head. He couldn’t do it. Not just yet. He was enjoying the companionship too much. “Do you think we could order something to eat? The dumplings those people behind you are having look delicious, and I haven’t eaten all day.”

  “Oh, yeah.” Hideki gave him a sheepish grin. “We kind of just ran out of the reception, didn’t we?”

  Toru could get lost in that sweet face. He wondered what those soft dimples in Hideki’s smooth cheeks looked like in the morning sunlight, imagining how warm the skin would feel as they embraced after a night of lovemaking.

  Hideki ordered the dumplings while Toru watched his every gesture. The young man carried himself without the awkwardness that some kids who grew up too fast in body to match their spirit did. He was naturally graceful, and more mature than most of the people Toru put up with in the music industry.

  Toru was falling badly -- and he knew it. Hell, he was already hopelessly attracted to Hideki and the more they talked, the more Toru realized they shared in common. Their love for music, their dreams, even their desire to break out of the ordinary and be different.

  Sasao had only been half-right that afternoon in the apartment. Toru hadn’t found someone to love, but a man he could share himself with in every way. So many people tossed the term “soul mate” around as casually as they would one like “girlfriend” or “significant other,” while Toru remained skeptical one could even exist. Especially after Minoru.

  But with Hideki the possibility of finding a soul mate felt so real. God, he’d fallen badly, and there wasn’t a damn thing he could -- or wanted -- to do about it.

  “I also got us some pork buns if that’s all right,” Hideki interrupted his thoughts. “We don’t have to stay here to eat them, either.”

  Toru smiled up at him. “There’s a park not too far from here that’s really nice,” he suggested.

  “Well.” A faint rose color blushed across Hideki’s cheeks. “I was thinking someplace more alone, maybe.”

  Oh, shit. “What do you mean?” Toru asked, his pulse quickening.

  “There’s a really nice onsen in Minakami,” Hideki suddenly rushed to get the words out. “If we take the bullet train now, we can be at the hot spring in an hour and a half. Why don’t we leave everything behind for a while, even if it’s just for a day?”

  “Well, I, um. I don’t know. Um ...”

  Hideki grimaced and gave himself a little smack in the forehead. “That sounded awful. I’m not some pervert. I’m really not. I only meant to get away as friends, just to relax and talk. Forget it. I’m such an idiot sometimes.”

  “No. I’d like to. I want to.”

  Baka! Idiot! Toru’s common sensed screamed. What are you doing?

  Toru cleared his throat. “I really want to, but this kimono. A friend lent it to me, and I’d hate to take the chance that anything would happen to it while traveling.” He hated the way Hideki gave him a look that said, “Well that’s a creative excuse.”

  Thankfully, the waitress appeared with their food while Toru’s thoughts continued to spiral out of control and his heart and common sense waged a war within him. He was done at the studio, and they didn’t really have anything to do until their mini-tour in two months. There was no reason he couldn’t take one day for a vacation.

  I can think of a big one, and it’s being constricted to death inside those damn spandex shorts you have on.

  Hideki cleared his throat. “Maybe I should drive you home ... it’s getting late.”

  “Oh.” Toru glanced at Hideki’s watch. It was only nine thirty. The only time he ever crashed this early was when the jetlag after a long tour had him winded. Otherwise, he was as much a night person as the next rock musician. He held back a sigh and decided it was for the best anyway.

  “Yeah, I guess so.” He put on his best “Ryoko” smile and cursed himself for the ump-fucking-teenth time he’d ever come up with this crazy idea. As much as he loved being this close to Hideki, he was starting to hate the disguise for all the things he couldn’t say or do.

  Hideki didn’t say anything, but he returned the smile with a weak one of his own and escorted Toru back to the car. The drive back to the apartment was almost silent, with only a few sporadic words between them about meaningless shit.

  When they got to the building, Hideki pulled up at the front instead of turning into the parking lot. “Aren’t you coming in?” Toru asked as he opened the passenger door.

  “No,” Hideki sighed. “I might go for a drive.”

  “Okay.”

  Toru closed the door and almost turned to go inside. But he whipped around and stuck his head through the open window. “Hideki-san, please wait for me. If there’s time for me to change out of this kimono, I’d love to go with you!”

  Hideki smiled, really smiled, and Toru silenced his nagging common sense.

  “Okay. I’ll run up and put on some jeans,” Hideki said.

  Chapter Five

  Toru jumped when he saw Sasao lying on his sofa watching TV and munching on popcorn. “What are you doing here?”

  “Making sure my kimono got back in one piece.” She jumped up, washed her hands, and came to inspect the garment. “It looks okay. A bit wrinkled. And you’ve been smoking.”

  “I was nervous. Here, help me get out of it. I need to change and go.”

  “Where?’

  Toru gave her an embarrassed smile. “To an onsen with Hideki.”

  “Toru!”

  “I know, I know, but it will be okay. We’re just going as friends. Nothing will happen. Nothing.”

  Toru had to tell himself that again and again when he rushed back down to find Hideki leaning against the fender of his car, wearing a pair of tight black jeans and a white shirt unbuttoned at the neck with the sleeves rolled up. And he was very glad that the loose sweatshirt and baggy cargo pants he had on helped hide his own male attributes that were dying to go hard in appreciation.

  Hideki pointed to the back seat when he opened the door for Toru. “I brought my acoustic. I hope you don’t mind.”

  “Oh, no. I’d love to hear you play. And maybe sing for me?”

  Hideki smiled. “I’d like that a lot.”

/>   “I should have brought my twelve-string --” Shit! Toru coughed, trying in vain to cover up his faux pas.

  “You play guitar, too?”

  “Not well.”

  “But you have a twelve-string.”

  “It was a gift. I’m not very good at it.”

  “Go on and get it.”

  “Um, no. I don’t want to embarrass myself in front of a professional.”

  “This trip is just for fun.” Hideki poked Toru in the shoulder teasingly. “Who cares if you’re not a pro? Besides, I bet it’s a nice looking guitar.”

  Toru grinned. “It’s black with a sunburst and gold metallic trim, even.”

  “Now you have to go get it.” Hideki folded his arms across his chest and bumped the passenger door closed with his hip. “We’re not leaving until you do.”

  “Since I have no other choice ...” Toru heaved a fake sigh and set down his backpack with his change of clothes.

  “Great!” Hideki grinned. “I’ll get the car started.”

  Toru ran back up to the apartment and ignored Sasao’s nosy questions as he grabbed the guitar. He raced back down and joined Hideki, setting the case in the back seat.

  “Let’s ride,” Toru said.

  * * * * *

  Hideki cringed when they arrived at the train station and a small group of teenaged girls recognized him, despite the ball cap he had pulled down low. He considered telling them they were mistaken, but realized it was futile. He apologized to Ryoko and signed their autographs. One wanted to snap his picture with her camera phone, and he protested until Ryoko insisted that he do it. She even volunteered to take the photo so all the girls could be in it together.

  They gushed and giggled and blushed like mad until Hideki said they simply had to go or miss the last train.

  “Thank you, Hideki-san,” they chanted in unison.

  “And thank your mother for taking our picture.”

  “Mother?” Ryoko shot them a cold look over her shoulder.

  “They’re just crazy kids. Forget about it.”