River Falls: The Wolves

by Lizzie Wildblood

  “Yeah” I whisper back. I’m not sure why we’re whispering. But it’s one of those things isn’t it. When someone whispers to you, you automatically whisper back.

  “I don’t think you should see Logan on your own any more.” I see her eyes flit to the rear view mirror to make sure Chris isn’t listening. He doesn’t make any hint that he’s heard and his eyes are still closed. Probably dozed off. I’m not sure he’s meant to do that though after a knock to the head, is he?

  “He wouldn’t hurt me.” I don’t know why I’m so sure of that. But I am.

  “You don’t know him. I’ve been to the same school as him pretty much my whole life. And I don’t even know him that well. His family is a good family, but the whole town knows that they hide things. They have secrets. There’s just something about them. No one quite knows what it is. But seeing Logan just attack Chris like that today. I don’t think he’s safe."

  “Come on Amber. I’m not defending him here but it wasn’t really an attack. It’s just boys. They fight.” I realise I am getting a little defensive of Logan right now, but I can’t help it.

  “Look I’m just saying, be careful, ok?”

  “I am. I know that you are just looking out for me. But all families have their own secrets Amber. Some are just better at hiding them than others. However I probably will keep some distance now anyway. But not because I think I’m not safe with him.”

  “Ok” she nods her head, and like this this morning I’m sure she doesn’t believe me.

  I notice with relief that aunt Sara’s truck isn’t in the driveway. I turn around to wake up Chris, but he’s already awake. And looking right at me.

  I let them in and I go straight of the bathroom to go get the first aid kit. We don’t have an ice pack so frozen peas will have to do. I instruct Chris to sit on one of the kitchen chairs and I place my phone and the first aid kit on the table. Amber waits outside, insisting that she’s not good with even a little blood. Chris doesn’t say anything. He’s just watching me. It makes me wonder if he did actually hear my whispered conversation with Amber. And I’m not sure why but it bothers me that he knows I’ve spent time with Logan.

  I gently wipe his face with some medicated cleaning wipes and then hold the frozen peas to his face. He is sat on the chair and I’m stood in between his legs and it’s not until I feel his hands grip my waist that I realise what an intimate stance we are in. Part of me feels like this is wrong but there’s another part of me that doesn’t want to move. So I don’t.

  My phone beeps with a message, and the message and sender ID flash up on my screen. Maybe exchanging numbers yesterday wasn’t such a great idea after all. We both look at it at the same time, I know he reads it because his face scrunches up a little with confusion.

  Logan: I’m sorry. I need to see you X

  We stay there in silence until my hand starts to go numb.

  “You may have to hold onto these peas yourself soon, I can’t feel my fingers.” I wiggle the fingers on my free hand in front of his face to try and lighten the mood. He quickly snatches my hand and brings it up to lie flat against his other cheek. He lays his hand over the top and presses his face into my hand. He looks at me directly in the eyes.

  “Why did Amber tell you to not to see Logan on your own anymore? When have you seen him on your own?” He looks hurt by just the thought of me spending time with Logan. I can’t lie to him and I don’t want to.

  “This weekend. Saturday night and all day yesterday.” He leans back slightly so he can get a better look at my face. My hands drops from his face but he still keeps holds of it. I put the peas on the table and wipe my wet hand on my jeans.

  “Why? Is that why you didn’t want to go to the party. You already had plans. I thought you were spending it with your aunt. You didn’t have to lie to me you know. I’m a grown man, I can take it if you didn’t want to spend time with me.” He lets my hand drop.

  “I didn’t lie to you. I was with my aunt on Saturday. We went shopping like I said we would. I bumped into Logan there and we just got talking. That’s all.”

  “That’s all?” He says.

  “Uh huh. We just went for a drive yesterday. Neither of us had plans so....” I don’t really know what else to say. Half my heart says I shouldn’t even have to explain anything to him, but the other half doesn’t want to see him hurt. I know I have a connection with Logan that I can't explain. But with Chris there’s something that’s just so natural also.

  “Are you going to?” He says pulling me a little closer to him putting his hand back on my waist where his other one other never left. I can feel the heat radiating from his large hands. I have to brace myself by placing my hands on his shoulders so I don’t fall onto him.

  “Going to what?” I ask.

  “Stay away from him?” He says without taking his eyes off me.

  Am I?

  “I don’t know yet” I shrug my shoulders. But it’s the truth. I really don’t know. I know I probably should stay away, but I don’t think I actually can.

  “You don’t know? He’s a psycho. Look at what he did to me. For no reason.”

  “I know what he did. I was there. And yes it was wrong, he shouldn’t have done it. But he wouldn’t hurt me.”

  “You don’t know that. You don’t know him.” I can feel his anger starting to rise.

  “I don’t know you either. And I’m sure Logan’s got a black eye just like you, so should I stay away from you too?” I argue back.

  “I would never do anything to put you in danger” he says while standing up. But keeps his hold onto me. I believe that he believes what he said.

  “Neither would he.” He just shakes his head.

  “So if I asked you now, would you want to spend some time with me? Just the two of us?” I shrug

  “Maybe.” I reply. He raises his eye brows at me.

  “Maybe? It’s either yes you do or no you don’t.”

  Do I want to?

  “Yes ok, I’ll spend sometime with you. Just us.”

  A smile lights up his face. Yet again I get the feeling this means more to him than it does to me. But I need to get Logan out of my system and its better that I do it now before I get more attached to him and he gets taken away from me by some already arranged girl.

  And if I’m honest with myself. I do like spending time with Chris, he’s a good distraction and I get on really well with him. He’s a sweet guy. Apart from Amber he’s one of the few people I’ve met here that I can see myself becoming really good friends with.

  What harm can it do to spend a little time with him.

  Chapter Nine

  Every Girl Wants A Bad Boy

  We go back to school ready for our next class. Neither Chris or Amber mention Logan again, so I don’t either. At lunch all Caroline and Rachel want to know are details. Everyone is now talking about it apparently. But no one really knows why it happened. To be honest I don’t really know myself. I could take a guess but it doesn’t make sense. Me and Logan aren’t a thing and even if we were, Chris was just being friendly. Did I even want to be in a relationship with someone who lost it that quickly for no reason? When Jack and Ryan joined our lunch table I thought the questions would start all over again but they didn’t say anything about it.

  “So you want to start to practice driving later on today?” Chris asks me quietly.

  “Ummm I’m not too sure I’m up for it today actually. But later on in the week maybe?” I was looking forward to it, but after this morning I can’t seem to settle. Driving may not be such a good idea right now. My mind is everywhere but here at school. Actually it’s not everywhere. That’s a lie. It’s only on one thing.

  One person.

  Logan.

  I haven’t seen him since this morning. Since I told him to go and I just don’t feel right. I want to text him, but each time I get my phone out either Amber or Chris is watching me like a hawk. I didn’t want to text him back at first. I was still angry he had done what
he had. But as the day had wore on I just wanted to see him.

  “Ok no worries. I’ve got to go talk to one of my teachers about something but I’ll see you at the end of the day yeah?” I nod and he bends down to kiss the top of my head before walking off with the guys. I blush because I can feel everyone at the table watching us. Amber is just looking confused however.

  “Awe you two are so cute together” Caroline says leaning forward with her elbows on the table.

  “What me and Chris? No I already told you guys it’s not like that.” I say while fiddling with my fingers.

  “Why not? He’s hot, your hot, you’re both single. And I know he comes across like a player but actually he’s a sweet guy.” Rachel says while taking a bite out of her apple.

  “I don’t know, I suppose I just wanted to concentrate on getting done with this school year and settling in before I thought about boys.” I know I sound lame but I don’t want a deep and meaningful in the lunch room about my life right now.

  “Hey, I’m not saying you have to marry the guy. But this is your one shot at high school. Live it. Have fun. Let your hair down. And trust me if he looked at me the way he looks at you, I would so be all over that.” Rachel answers with smirk and a wink, which makes us all laugh.

  “You’re too busy being all over Ryan, to even notice if anyone was looking at you anyway.” Amber remarks to which me and Caroline both nod our heads. I have noticed that she does have a little crush on Ryan, but he is totally oblivious.

  “Well I mean what do I have to do to get his attention? Everyone else knows!!” She says sounding frustrated.

  “Ever tried just telling him?” I say. She looks at me as if I have completely gone insane, but the bells rings which snaps us out of our conversation and we each head off to our classes.

  Sitting with the girls at the lunch table talking about boys, fashion and normal things felt good. It took my mind off other things. But now I’m on my own back in classes I’m back to thinking about Logan again. I expect to see him in biology again but he skipped that too. That means he’s been gone the whole day.

  I quickly pull my phone out on the way to Amber's car at the end of class and type a short message to him.

  Me : Apology not accepted yet. But yes we can meet.

  I put my phone away and keep it on silent so they won’t hear it go off and ask who it’s from. I feel like they are my friends now and I don’t want to lie to them, but I don’t think after what happened this morning they would be happy with me texting him. Especially Chris. When I get there, Amber and Chris are already talking. They look up at me and smile when I get there.

  “Hey, so in the morning I have to run a quick errand for my mum so is it ok if Chris comes to pick you up?” Amber asks. She seems a little worried about something.

  “Oh that’s fine no problem, but I can just just get aunt Sara to ....” I start to say but get cut off off Chris.

  “Hey it’s no problem. I’m coming that way anyway. I practically pass your house on the way from mine.” Chris says while pulling me in for a side hug. I don’t think I’ve ever let a guy be so touchy with me before. You know, one that’s not a boyfriend. But it’s not like I have loads of experience in that department either.

  “Ok, well if you’re sure?” I ask again.

  “Yep. See you bright and early.” He adds a with a wink and a salute, and heads over to his car and we get into Amber's. She is looking at me with a concerned look on her face. Sort of like the look she had at the lunch table.

  “You ok Amber?” She nods.

  “Do you like him?” She blurts out.

  “Huh?”

  “Chris, do you like him, like in more than a friend way?” She says explaining what she meant. Although I already knew what she meant, I was just unsure how to answer.

  “Truthfully?” I ask

  “We’re friends. So always.” She says seriously.

  “I don’t know. I didn’t think I wanted to get involved with anyone right now. But Chris is.....” I’m unsure of how to finish my sentence.

  “What about Logan?” She probes.

  “Well Logan is just ......” I trail off Again. Not knowing what to say about Logan either.

  “Uh huh” is all she says. When I don’t say anything she carries on. She seems to be saying that a lot lately.

  “Look all I’m going to say is that I’ve known Chris for years. He really is one of my best friends, and he’s had a lot of girlfriends.” she finger quotes.

  “But none of them stay. He doesn’t like to get attached. But I have never seen him act the way he does with you, with anybody else. He watches you constantly, and I’m not saying that to freak you out because I don’t mean it in a creepy way. He maybe a lot of things, but he isn’t a creep. It’s like he wants to make sure your ok. That no ones going to come and hurt you. He just has this look in his eyes. I’ve not seen it on him before. I think you're good for him. You could ground him a little. He’s a great guy. When your ready, you should give him a chance. But just try not to hurt him. He has more feelings than he lets on.”

  Wow, I wasn’t expecting her to say all that. I had picked up vibes that Chris liked me but I did honestly think it was just because I was new. But my head is so full of Logan at the moment too. I just need to stick to my original plan. I’m off boys for the near future. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and all thought of being off boys goes out the window. Now I can’t wait to get out the car to read what he has said.

  “I know he’s a good guy, but honestly I’m not interest......” I didn’t get chance to finish, Amber cut in on me.

  “Yeah yeah I know. Not in the right place.” She says with a disbelieving look.

  We say our good byes and a she gives me a reminder that Chris is collecting me in the morning. As soon as I’m in the house I check my phone.

  Logan: Where? When? Now?

  Me: My house. Now is fine.

  I quickly type a reply. I don’t want to seem like I’m eager to see him. But I am. I can’t get the look on his face out of my head. I hurriedly go to my room to change into some fresh clothes, Twenty minutes later I hear Logan’s truck pull up the driveway. So I go down to meet him.

  I wait on the top step of the porch and he comes to greet me. When I feel like he is getting too close though I take a step back.

  “Please don’t do that.” he says sadly shaking his head. My eyebrows bunch together in confusion.

  “Do what?” I ask.

  “That, move away from me. Act like your scared of me.”

  “Well you beat up one of my friends this morning for no reason. What if I did something you disagreed with? Is that what you’ll do to me?” He quickly advances towards me, I don’t have time to stop him. His arms are around me and my face is buried in his strong chest. He takes a deep breath with his face pressed into my hair. The restlessness that was in my body all day at school seems to be dissolving now that I’m in his arms. My head and heart are saying two completely different things to me. It’s almost like I’m two separate people.

  “I would never hurt you. You have to believe me. I will always protect you. I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. Just please, don’t tell me to go away again. I can’t do that.” He says each word with so much conviction and I believe every word he has just said. But right now I’m not sure that’s enough.

  I gently place my hands on his chest and I let the warm feeling of being in his arms go and just settle for the tingles I always get with him near.

  “What happened this morning Logan? Why did you hit him?” I ask, slightly nervous of the answer. He just shrugs his shoulders and sighs. He looks like he’s about to get a scolding from a parent for not doing what he was told.

  “You don’t know why you punched somebody in the face? What would you have done if I hadn’t stopped you. I saw the look in your eyes Logan. It wasn’t you. I need an answer or...” I can feel myself getting worked up on behalf of Chris. I saw the damage he did to him, the blood runnin
g frim his cuts, when I cleaned him up.

  “He was touching you” He blurts out, interrupting my sentence.

  I take a few steps back from him.

  “Touching me? His arm was on my shoulder. He wasn’t hurting me. That’s not a reason to do what you did.” I say shaking my head. I’m starting to maybe think what Amber was saying was right. Maybe meeting him was a bad idea. I know if the roles were reversed I would tell Amber to not go anywhere near him.

  “He shouldn’t have been touching you. And whispering in your ear. In my family, that’s a big enough reason”

  “Well then your family is crazy. And I’m not in your family. That’s not a reason Logan. You can’t do that. It’s not even like we’re together. But even if we were it doesn’t..... We spent a few days together. That doesn’t give you the right to.....” I can’t even form a single sentence and I’m glad my aunt isn’t here to witness our conversation.