Reckless Rock Star (Cocky Hero Club)

by Victoria Ashley

  This crap needs to be discussed in person and not over the phone. He needs to know just how much he’s embarrassed me by agreeing to this without talking to me first.

  Who the hell just loans their girlfriend out for a week?

  The thought has me angry all over again, so I push it aside the best I can as I pull into Logan’s driveway and park.

  From the number of unanswered messages that Logan sent me today, he must know I’m angry with him, because he steps outside and closes the door behind him.

  “I’m sorry, babe.” He meets me halfway as I step out of my vehicle. “The only reason I even agreed to let Madden borrow you for the trip is because I knew you’d say no. I would’ve discussed it with you first, but I thought it’d be funny if you kicked his ass for asking.” He places his hands on my shoulders and begins rubbing them. “You know I love you and I’d never do anything on purpose to upset you.”

  I take a step back and look up at him before I speak. “Yeah, well, it’s pretty embarrassing to find out from your boyfriend’s brother that your boyfriend agreed to let another man pretend date you. I felt and looked like an idiot in front of Kayla today, Logan. That’s not cool at all.”

  “I apologize for that.” He bows his head and pulls my chin up until our mouths touch. “Forgive me?”

  His kiss is almost enough to make me forgive him and forget about this whole situation, but I can’t help but to ask something. This question has been eating at me since Madden walked away.

  “Why is it so important to Madden that I go with him on this trip?”

  Logan releases my chin and exhales. “His ex keeps screwing with his head and won’t let him move on. She broke him and he’s afraid she’ll break him again if he doesn’t give her a reason to let go of him.”

  I shake my head and bring my eyes over to the front door. “But there are pictures all over social media of him with other women. Isn’t that enough proof that he’s moved on?”

  “Those pictures are proof that he hasn’t. She’s smart. Alana knows they’re just enough to numb the pain for a night or two. He hasn’t dated anyone seriously since her. They’ve known each other since they were kids. I’m not sure he’ll ever really be over her and she knows it.”

  My heart sinks as I think back to some of the stories Logan told me about his brother when we first started dating. About how he didn’t leave his apartment for weeks and drank himself to sleep each night, waking up covered in his own vomit.

  If it wasn’t for Logan looking out for him, he might’ve died from alcohol poisoning on two different occasions, but luckily, he barged into his place in the middle of the night and rushed him to the hospital.

  The thought of that makes me feel guilty for telling him no when there’s a chance he could unravel and hurt himself that way again. I can’t imagine the pain he must’ve been feeling to let things get that far.

  “So, she goes every year too?” I ask softly, guilt beginning to eat at me more.

  He nods and runs his hands through my messy hair. “She does. And every time Madden returns from the trip he falls back into a depression for a few weeks or longer, yet he refuses to give up the time with his friends and the break away from the fame. His life is chaotic, and it’s not like he can just leave whenever he wants to hang out with them. You know? Besides, he loves these trips and won’t give them up for anything. Not even a broken heart.”

  I nod. “Yeah. I get it.”

  “Come on. Let’s get some rest.” He grabs my hand and pulls me toward the house. “I’m tired and need some sleep, and I’m sure you do too. Tomorrow is going to be hell for us both probably.”

  When we step into the house, Madden is sitting shirtless on the couch playing his acoustic guitar.

  He looks away from the strings just long enough to make eye contact with me before he closes his eyes and gets lost in his music, as if he’s the only one in the room.

  Seeing the passion on his face is actually quite beautiful, and I find myself telling Logan I need a glass of water before I join him in the bedroom, but really, I just want a moment to watch Madden play.

  A moment that I don’t end up getting, because he sets his guitar aside when his phone pings with a message.

  His face hardens and I catch his jaw flexing before he tosses his phone aside and steps past me to grab a beer from the fridge.

  “Who was that?” I question as he tilts the beer back while gripping his hair with his other hand.

  “My ex,” is all he says before he walks away and steps out back.

  I stand here and watch him through the sliding glass door as he kneels down and grips at his hair, like he’s in physical pain.

  A part of me wants to go outside and make sure he’s okay, while the other part tells me it’s best to just leave him be to handle his situation the best way he knows how.

  Once inside Logan’s room, I strip down to my underwear and crawl in bed with him. He immediately begins kissing my neck, while sliding his hand down my panties, but I can’t seem to concentrate on him, because all I can think about is the look that was on Madden’s face as he read the message from his ex.

  I’ve never seen a man look so broken before, and I can’t help but to think that maybe saying no to him was a mistake.

  “Loosen up, babe,” Logan whispers in my ear, while slipping a finger inside of me. “You’re so tense.”

  I close my eyes and lean my head back as he begins sliding his finger in and out, but still all I can concentrate on is Madden, and his pain is eating away at me. “Stop…” I push his shoulder until he rolls over onto his side of the bed with a huff. “I feel bad.”

  “About my brother?” He sounds frustrated as he rubs his hands over his face. “He’s a big boy and I’m sure he’ll be fine without you. As much as I want him to stop hurting over her, I’m not sure I can handle you being away from me until Tuesday. And besides, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. You gave him a firm no, but if you change your mind, I’ll support that too. I trust you.”

  I stare up at the ceiling, trying to gain control of my thoughts, but it’s impossible.

  They’re all mixed up and I know there’s no way I’ll be able to make the right decision without sleeping on it first. “I’ll figure it out in the morning. I think I just need to get some sleep first.”

  He leans over to give me a quick kiss before he rolls back over to his side of the king-sized bed. “I think that’ll be best for us both. We’ll talk about things over lunch tomorrow. We can meet at our usual spot. Sound good?”

  I nod.

  “Goodnight, Natalie.”

  “Goodnight,” I whisper; although with the way I’m feeling, I know I’ll be up for hours.

  And I have a feeling Madden won’t be sleeping at all…

  CHAPTER SIX

  Madden

  I knew after receiving that text from Alana earlier that sleep wouldn’t be an option. I tossed and turned for all of thirty minutes before I said fuck it, hopped into my truck, and headed for Carla. I knew she’d be working all night and that she wouldn’t judge me while I sat here and got shitfaced.

  “You ready for another one, rock star?” I slide my glass toward her in response. She hesitates before filling it with more Jameson. “Keep this up and I’ll be giving you a ride home. That or I’ll be calling your brother to pick you up. We both know how he’ll feel about that.”

  “I’m good, Carla. I’ll figure my shit out.” With my gaze on her worried eyes, I tilt the glass back, emptying it halfway. “I have a high tolerance these days. I’m going to need at least another five of these before I’m completely fucked. I’m counting on you to make sure they’re in front of my face before the night ends.”

  “You sure you don’t want to talk about it?” She motions around the mostly empty room. There are only two other people hanging around and they’re too busy talking to drink. “As you can see, I have the next hour to fill. Help me speed the time up, gorgeous.”

&nbs
p; “I’m fucked. Nat refuses to go with me on the trip.” I slam back the remainder of the whiskey, before setting the empty glass down and sliding it her away again. “Alana is going to ruin me once again, and I’m going to let her, because I’m a sucker for love even when it kills me.”

  “Then don’t let her, Madden.” She exhales and leans her elbows down on the counter. “Ignore her the entire trip and maybe she’ll realize it’s truly over.”

  “I can’t do that, Carla. I’ve tried and failed every fucking time.”

  “Then don’t let Natalie say no. Tell her why you need her, but don’t forget what I said earlier. Things could get messy if you don’t know what you want.”

  “I do,” I say stiffly. “I just want Alana to move on.”

  “Okay. Well, if your brother isn’t holding Natalie back and you’re sure you won’t fall for her or vice versa, then it’s on you to make sure she says yes.” She reaches for the bottle beside her and refills my glass. “You’re not easy to say no to, Madden. If I wasn’t afraid of falling for you—let’s face it, all women do—I’d go my damn self. I’d show this Alana bitch just how much she screwed up by hurting you. Biggest mistake of her life.”

  “Thanks, babe. Appreciate that.”

  “I’ll be right back.” She slaps the dark wood, before turning away to mess with her phone or something else over by the register. I can’t tell which and I’m not sure I care at this point. My head is too screwed up to think straight.

  After checking on her other customers and doing a few things, she returns with a glass of ice water, practically shoving it in my face. “Drink. You’re going to need to sober up a bit for this.”

  “For what?”

  “To get what you want…” she nods behind me when someone walks in. “…from her.”

  I turn around to Natalie standing there in a leather jacket, looking fully awake. I thought she’d fallen asleep hours ago. After she went in my brother’s room it was completely silent. “Hi, Carla.” She offers a genuine smile before slipping out of her jacket and taking a seat beside me. “I’ll have a Sprite, please.”

  “Coming right up, babe.” Carla smiles and lifts a brow, sliding Natalie’s glass in front of her. “I’ll be cleaning up a bit. Holler if you two need me.”

  The moment Carla walks away, I set my gaze on Natalie, trying to read her. I can’t tell if she’s pissed she’s here because of me or not. “I suppose Carla told you I’m drunk and needed you to come save me?” I stand up and slip into my jacket, not wanting to give her more reasons to hate me. “I’ll give you gas money for the hassle, but I’m fine. I can drive myself. I’ve only had three drinks.”

  She shakes her head. “I texted Carla.”

  “Okay…” I take a seat again and reach for what’s left of my drink, curious about why she left my brother sleeping to go out to a bar at one in the morning. “Get into a fight with my brother?”

  She huffs. “He fell asleep hours ago. I doubt he even realizes I’m gone.” She rolls her eyes at the last part. “I noticed you left a while ago and wondered if you were here drinking, so I asked Carla. I almost didn’t come but I couldn’t sleep.”

  “You don’t have to explain that shit to me. I doubt I’ll sleep for a while,” I admit. “I’ve had too many sleepless nights to count.”

  “Me too,” she says softly. “Too much stuff on my mind that I can’t shut off.”

  “You’re dating my brother, so I don’t doubt that,” I joke. “I remember what it was like being around his uptight ass every day. Does he still get mad about fingerprints on the coffee table or the toilet paper roll being put on wrong?”

  She laughs into her soda, nearly spitting out what she just drank. “He’s the one who puts the toilet paper roll on wrong and then complains about it as if it was me. Every. Single. Time.”

  “Then I can see why you’re here. My brother drives me crazy too.”

  “He doesn’t drive me crazy. That’s not what I… that’s not why I’m here, okay. I just wanted to make sure—”

  “I’m not passed out drunk somewhere choking on my own vomit?” I know my brother told her about those days. I also know she probably judges me because of them. Everyone does. “Because I’m not. You don’t have to worry. I don’t need a babysitter. You can go back to my brother with a clean conscience.”

  “Didn’t say you did.” She stands up and turns around to look behind her. “I was hoping to release some energy to help me sleep. How about we play a game of darts and then head out together?”

  I can’t tell if she really wants to play darts with me or if she’s testing me to see how drunk I am before letting me drive home, but I stand up anyway and follow her to the back of the room. Anything to get my mind off Alana is a good thing right now. If I’m being honest with myself, liquor barely does the trick unless I’m passed out.

  “We’ll play a quick game of 301.”

  “501.” I hand her a set of darts. “501 and I’m in.”

  “Fine. 501 it is.” She grabs the set of darts and walks over to setup the game. “Either way it’ll be quick.”

  “Why is that?”

  She smiles as she gets into position. “I have pretty good aim. Just ask Carla.”

  “She does!” Carla hollers as if she’s been listening to our entire conversation. “You don’t have a chance at winning, Madden.”

  “Okay, show me.” I motion for her to take her turn. I’m surprised when she hits a double bullseye, followed by an outer bullseye and then a double twenty. “Impressive. I’m guessing you beat my brother’s ass in darts a lot. He sucks at most activities. Always has,” I say, amused.

  She doesn’t say anything to that, and instead just yanks her darts out and gets out of the way for me to take my turn. My scores are far less impressive with a single twenty, a nine and an eighteen.

  “Not too bad for someone on the road a lot. I’m guessing you don’t get to play darts much.”

  “I don’t,” I admit. “I barely have time to breathe when I’m on the road. Every day feels like I’m suffocating with no escape. This trip… with my friends… is my only escape, and even that isn’t an escape anymore thanks to my ex.”

  Her face falls and I can tell she feels sorry for me. “You can’t just avoid her? Maybe pretend she’s not there and just talk to your other friends? She’d have no choice but to take the hint.”

  “She won’t. The moment I get there she’ll be all over me as if we never broke up in the first place. She’ll beg me to take her back because she knows I’m dead inside without her. Alana knows me better than anyone. She always has.”

  She swallows, before turning away and hitting another double bullseye, followed by two double twenties.

  Good thing I’m not trashed, because Natalie was right, this game won’t last long. I need to take Carla’s advice and not let Natalie say no before my chance is up. I need to give her something to think about before this night is over.

  Feeling the pressure consume me, I toss my darts at the board, not giving a shit what I hit and then turn to face Natalie. “And like an idiot, I’ll let her in and leave feeling emptier than when I arrived. That is why I need you, Nat. So that I’ll stay away from her this time. So I won’t let her fuck with my mind like every other trip.”

  She’s quiet and I can tell I have her thinking about it. I’m not sure if it’ll be enough to change her mind, but I hope it is.

  “You’re right,” she says moments later, her forced smile making it clear she’s trying to lighten the mood now that it’s so fucking dark. “Logan sucks at darts. We’ve only played a few games but if I’m being honest, he can barely hit the board.”

  “Still?” I laugh and concentrate a little too hard on my next throw, wanting to prove to Natalie I’m better than my brother. “Bet he’s never hit a double bullseye. Or a single for that matter.”

  She watches as I pull the darts from the board, her expression slightly impressed with the ninety points that come off my number. “Y
ou’re right, he hasn’t. I don’t think he even tries because he’s always too preoccupied with his phone or lost in his head. That’s why I come here alone sometimes and play with Carla when she’s not busy.”

  “Must suck.”

  “What?” she questions, stepping up to the line.

  “Dating someone who doesn’t ever play with you. Having fun is an important key in relationships. Love is the most important aspect of course, but if you can’t have fun and laugh and play together one of you is bound to get bored and move on. That’s why I like to have fun too. I want my girl to be satisfied in every possible way.”

  She swallows, her eyes lingering on me for a few moments before she clears her throat and throws her darts at the board. “Game over.”

  Yeah, apparently that might be the case for me. I gave her something to think about and now it’s up to her.

  “I can’t do that, Jason. I’m already on the road,” I lie through my teeth, not giving him any reason to believe he has even the slightest chance of me canceling my trip. “I’m thirty minutes out and about to lose reception. Cancel the appointments. I won’t tell you again.”

  “Come the fuck on, Madden.” His angry growl comes through the phone, but I’m so used to it now that it doesn’t even faze me. “We both know this trip of yours is no good for you or the band. You come back liquored up with your head so royally fucked that you can barely function for weeks. Just turn your truck around and drive your ass back to LA.”

  “Not happening.”

  “Stop fucking with me. I’ve already made commitments for the band and we need you here. You can go to a cabin in the middle of nowhere next year. I’m sure your friends will understand.”

  He’s already been in my ear for the last twenty minutes and just the sound of his voice is starting to piss me off now.

  “Fuck off, Jason. I’ve been going on this trip every year for the past eight years and a pissed off manager isn’t going to stop me. I’m not in violation of any contracts. Cancel the shit and I’ll see you in a week.”