Reckless Rock Star (Cocky Hero Club)

by Victoria Ashley

  “Madden…”

  Before the asshole can piss me off any more, I toss my phone against the wall and make my way into the bathroom.

  His argument about my head being royally fucked has me thinking about last night again.

  I’m not gonna lie; it was rough as hell after I received that text from Alana. Four simple words had the power to unravel me on the spot, and the last thing I wanted was for Natalie to witness the unraveling and then to find me half-drunk at the bar afterward.

  Alana: I still love you…

  Doesn’t she understand just how much she’s fucked with my head since she walked away?

  Doesn’t she understand that I’ll never trust her again?

  I figured my silence would be enough to make her see that, but clearly, I was wrong.

  It’s only made her try harder, her desperation clear and escalating with each text.

  She believes her words will be enough to change my mind about us or she’d have given up already, but they’ll never be enough to suffer through the pain she inflicted again. People rarely change.

  That kind of hurt led me down a dark road that came close to taking my life on more than one occasion.

  “Shit, I look like hell.” I stare at my reflection in the mirror, my grip on the sink becoming tighter as I examine the dark circles under my eyes from the lack of sleep.

  Not even a half bottle of whiskey after we got back from the bar last night had the strength to numb my thoughts enough to get some rest last night.

  All I kept thinking about was how I’d see Alana soon. That thought kept me tense and on edge with what might happen over the next six days.

  She’s good at getting what she wants, and she almost had me last year when I gave in to her and allowed her to kiss me. One kiss led to her sleeping in my bed. The memories that brought on led to me making love to her and almost forgetting about the hell she put me through.

  Luckily, Jake talked some damn sense into me before I had the opportunity of asking her to come on the road with me.

  Finally over feeling sorry for myself, I push away from the sink and gather my things into a pile by the front door.

  My brother and Natalie were already gone by the time I rolled off the couch this morning, so I can only assume that means she’s not going to budge on her answer even after what happened last night.

  My plan was to try one more time to talk her into it when she showed up at Logan’s last night, but as soon as that message from Alana came through my head was so screwed up that I didn’t have the fight inside me to convince her to come. Not even what I said at the bar was giving her my all like I should have.

  It’s just like Alana to have the best timing when it comes to ruining me.

  Logan and I said our goodbyes last night before he went to bed, so I lock up and begin loading my truck with my fishing gear, acoustic guitar, and my suitcase full of clothes.

  I hop into my truck and am just about to pull away from the house when Natalie’s little white car pulls into the driveway.

  I sit here for a minute, watching as she steps out onto the blacktop and eyes my truck over as if she’s debating on what to do next.

  Keeping my eyes on her, I shift my truck into park and step out onto the road, before walking around to lean against the hood. “Logan is still at work.”

  I can’t help but notice how cute she looks as she nervously runs her hand over her long hair, pulling the mahogany braid forward to hang over her right shoulder.

  “Yeah. I heard. I just left the diner he failed to meet me at since he apparently couldn’t find time for me.”

  “Okay…” I cross my arms over my chest and wait for her to tell me what she’s doing here. I should be on the road already, but if there’s even the slightest chance that she’s changed her mind I’ll stand here all night just to hear her say those words.

  “Your brother gave me your number. I tried calling but you didn’t pick up.”

  I cock a brow and try to keep a straight face. “Yeah, my phone sort of quit working on me. Looks like I’ll be getting a new one once I get back…” I pull out a smoke and place it between my lips, lighting it up. “If you were calling to say bye you could’ve just said that this morning before you crept out the door. I was awake.”

  “That’s not why I called.” She walks around her car and pulls a suitcase from the backseat, setting it down beside her feet. “I decided I could use that vacation after all. My boss is pushing me to use my days before I lose them. I figured it’d be a waste not to go.”

  Her words say one thing while her eyes say another. She knows just as well as I do that she feels sorry for me after witnessing my little breakdown last night. And it probably didn’t help that Logan stood her up for probably the millionth time since they’ve been dating.

  I nod. “Let me get that for you.” I walk over and attempt to take it from her, but she places her hand on my chest to stop me.

  “I’m not useless. I managed to get it into my car without you, so back up, rock star.”

  A small smirk crosses my face as I toss my smoke aside and watch her throw her suitcase into the back of my truck.

  I’m so relieved she changed her mind that I find myself scooping her up just under her ass and roughly kissing her cheek. I need to remember to thank Carla next time I see her.

  She slaps at my bicep until I finally drop her back down to her feet. “Do that again and I’ll twist a nipple until it pops off.”

  I open the truck door for her with a playful grin to lighten the mood. “Watch it. I may be into that sort of thing.”

  She narrows her eyes at me and pushes my chest, before hopping into my truck. “Just drive before I come to my senses and change my mind.”

  “Whatever you say, babe. It turns me on when a woman gives me orders.” I wink and jog to the other side of the truck, hopping in myself. Then I turn to her and shift into drive. “That’s something you might need to know about me since we’re going to be spending so much time together. Just a warning. So do us both a favor and keep it to a minimum.”

  She looks a little surprised. Her eyes linger on my crotch, before she quickly turns away and looks out the window. “Noted. Thanks for the warning.”

  The first two hours of the drive goes by fast with little to no conversation at all. To be honest, I’m trying to figure out how this will all work without us having sex and keeping kissing to a PG rating.

  There’s no way Alana is going to believe we’re a real couple unless we’re kissing and touching each other a majority of the trip. Back when Alana and I dated, I couldn’t keep my hands to myself, and she sure as hell couldn’t either.

  But this is my brother’s girlfriend, not mine. I need to make this work while still being respectful of their relationship.

  “I should’ve eaten when I was at the diner. I’m so hungry right now.”

  “Check the glove compartment.”

  I can’t help but to laugh when she opens it and a stash of jerky falls out. “Please tell me these haven’t been here the whole time your truck has been chilling at your brother’s while on tour.”

  She begins picking them up, gathering them into a pile on her lap. “Not all of them. Be sure to check the date before shoving one into your mouth.”

  “That’s a joke, right?”

  “Sadly, no.” I smile while turning down the road we need to travel for the next hour or so.

  My chest is aching just knowing we’ll be there soon, and I suddenly realize that we haven’t even discussed the details of ‘how we met and started dating’.

  “Okay… so we met eight months ago when RISK played at a venue in California. We’ve casually kept in touch ever since, settling for FaceTime sessions every night before bed, because with my busy schedule and you managing a hotel we’ve only been able to spend every other weekend together. Oh, and no one knows about us because we’ve kept our relationship away from the prying eyes of the media.”

  When I look over, she’
s carefully checking the dates on the jerky, before deciding which one to eat. “Do you really think they’re going to believe we FaceTime every night? That seems a bit much for someone with your lifestyle.”

  I grip the steering wheel and think back to mine and Alana’s relationship. I wasn’t exactly famous back then, but I was still on the road playing at different bars and other smalltime gigs that would schedule us to play. “Yes. They’ll believe it. I did it with Alana.”

  She gives me a surprised look, as if she wasn’t expecting that response. I wasn’t joking either. When I’m in a relationship, I’m committed one hundred percent on making it work.

  “Every night?” she questions.

  “Except for the nights Alana didn’t answer, yes.”

  She looks down at her phone as if she’s been waiting for a message or call.

  “You’re about to lose reception in about fifteen minutes. If there’s a call or a text you need to send, then you should do it now. It might be a while before you get it again.”

  She shakes her head and powers down her phone. “Was waiting on your brother to text me back, but I guess he’s too busy with work still. Nothing new.”

  The disappointment in her voice has me wanting to get her mind on something else, so I turn up the radio and begin singing along to Arizona by Highly Suspect.

  She may not realize that I can see her watching me, but I do. She seems to be focused on my lips every time I glance her way.

  “You listen to Highly Suspect?” I raise a brow and wait for her reply.

  “I love them. They’re one of my favorite bands, actually.”

  “That’s awesome. Ever been to a concert?”

  She laughs. “Is this the whole ‘getting to know each other’ as a fake couple thing?”

  I shake my head, because it’s not. “I’m just curious about your likes and dislikes. This has nothing to do with putting on a show for anyone else. It’s okay for us to be friends in real life, you know.”

  “I’ve been to a few.” She smiles. “Johnny is pretty cute. Not gonna lie.”

  Now I’m the one laughing. “You do realize that Johnny’s looks are the complete opposite of Logan’s, right? Sounds like you’re dating the wrong Parker Brother.”

  It’s silent for a moment, until RISK playing on the radio has me singing at the top of my lungs.

  “You’ve buried me once, but I dug my way out. Not even the devil can hold me down now. Bury me with this bottle I clutch in my hand. The tighter I hold, the lighter it gets. Fuck the demons that scream at me now…”

  “Is this your new song?” She turns the radio up and I can’t help but to watch her face as she listens. She seems to be really into it.

  I’m surprised that she knew RISK’s new song just by hearing my voice on the radio. Clearly, she’s a bigger fan than I realized, but I won’t bring that up and ruin this good feeling.

  “It’s really good.”

  “Thank you. I wrote the song a long time ago, but we just recorded it a few months back and decided to put it on the new album.”

  “Will you be singing it on this year’s tour?”

  I nod and take a deep breath, not wanting to think too hard about the fact that I wrote this song about Alana. It’s the only thing that almost kept me from recording it. It’s bad enough that Without You makes me think about how she screwed me over every time we perform it.

  My heart sinks, realizing the cabin is just a few miles out now. Natalie must notice my sudden onset of tension, because she’s silent as she turns to watch the road.

  “There’s a little gas station about twenty-five minutes out of the way. We’ll stop there to fill up on gas and get some snacks first. Think of anything you might need for the weekend and we’ll grab it.” We don’t really need any snacks, because the cabin is full of anything we’ll want and need, but truthfully, I just need an excuse to put off getting there for longer.

  I’m pretty sure she can tell too, because all she does is nod and go with it.

  When we pull up at the gas station, there are more people than expected. I figure there might be a person or two who might recognize me, so the moment I get out of the car, I walk over to Natalie’s side and grab her hand, lacing my fingers through hers.

  “Why are we–”

  “In case someone recognizes me. Come.”

  “So pictures of us holding hands might end up on social media?” She shakes her head and attempts to free her hand from mine. “I don’t think so. That’s too much for me.”

  “It needs to look real. We’re taking our “relationship” public now.” I raise our hands higher. “And this will do that. I don’t hold girls’ hands in public and you know that, Nat. Please work with me here.”

  “Fine.” She looks around us as if hoping no one notices me. And no one does until I pay for our things and grab her hand to walk outside.

  “Dude! You’re the lead singer of RISK.” Some teenaged kid says after snapping a few pictures of me and Natalie on the way out. “Can I get a selfie?”

  I release Natalie’s hand—more like she practically yanks it away—and I grab the phone from the kid to take a few pictures of us.

  “Your music changed my life, man.” The kid smiles down at his phone while saving the picture he just snapped of us. “Gave me something to look forward to when I was lost. I stumbled upon Without You a few months back on Youtube when my girlfriend dumped me, and it helped me get over her. I never thought I would. But I’ve been better off without her.” He winks at me, while backing away. “Thank you, man. Can’t wait to show my friends I just met you. I’ll probably get my ass kicked when I get back to town because they missed out, but it’ll be worth it.”

  “I hope so, kid. Hang on a minute.” I reach into my truck and pull out a spare CD that’s been sitting around for a minute. “Got a marker?”

  “Shit. No!” He grabs his hair anxiously. “I can go ask for one inside. Hold up a minute. Don’t leave!” The kid rushes off inside in search of a marker as if he thinks I’ll take off if he doesn’t hurry back. I’m not going anywhere.

  “That’s nice of you.” Natalie is smiling now as if seeing me interact with my fan has made her forget all about us being seen together holding hands. “You’re going to make this kid’s entire life from this moment.”

  “I hope so,” I say honestly, reaching for the pump handle. “It’s people like him who make the stress worthwhile.”

  “Here!” The kid hands me the marker and I scribble my name across the front of the disc, before handing it to him.

  “There’s my number, kid. Text me and I’ll hook you up with tickets next time we perform in the area.”

  “Hell yeah! I will. I’ll text you now so you have my number.”

  “Give me a few days. I won’t receive your text because my phone is broken. Text me on Tuesday. Think you can remember that?”

  He nods overly anxious. “Tuesday it is, Madden. Hell yeah! This is the raddest shit that’s ever happened to me. You’re the man. I’ll never forget this.”

  Once the kid walks away and we’re inside my truck, I can feel Natalie staring at me so I look over. “You gave a fan your number. Do you do that often?”

  I shake my head and start my truck. “Nah. There was something about him though. Reminded me of myself back when I was sixteen, I guess.”

  We both jump when a knock sounds on the window seconds later. I laugh and roll down the window when I look over to see one of the posters that Chance had printed out smashed up against it. “Where did you get that?”

  “Can you make it out to Deacon?” He shrugs and holds it out for me to sign. “I don’t know. My mom had it in her bedroom and I took it. It’s been in my backseat for weeks. How lucky is that?”

  “Pretty lucky.” I smile and hand the marker back to him. “Take it easy, Deacon.”

  “I’ll try, dude.” He barely steps away from my truck before he’s on the phone calling someone.

  “Nice poster,” Natalie sa
ys with an amused smile. “Needed a reminder of one of the many times you’ve been arrested?”

  “Apparently my cousin thought so,” I mutter, pulling out of the parking lot.

  In less than thirty minutes we’re pulling into the mile-long driveway and parking next to the other vehicles.

  We’ve been sitting here for a good five minutes when Natalie finally breaks the silence. “Are you okay? You look like you’re about to break something.”

  “Yeah.” I run my hands through my hair, before pulling out a smoke and stepping out of the truck. “I just need a second to gather my thoughts.”

  I can see the flames from the bonfire lighting up the night sky from behind the cabin, and the blaring music and familiar voices shouting already have me feeling at home, reminding me of why I refuse to give these trips up.

  I pull my eyes away when Natalie leans against my truck beside me. “How many people are here?”

  “At least seven of us are always here; unless someone couldn’t make it this year. There could be more. I’m not sure.” I take a long drag and slowly release it, being sure to blow the smoke away from Natalie’s direction. “There are three bedrooms and two couches in the living room for sleeping. We play games, drink and dance, go swimming, and just kick back and relax without the stress of the outside world. It’s one of the things I look forward to the most, minus Alana.”

  “You do or used to?”

  I grind my jaw and lean my head back, looking up into the night sky. “I don’t know anymore. I still do, but it’s been hard the last few years. Alana and I broke up at this very place three years ago after I confronted her about cheating.” I take one more drag off my cigarette before tossing it and running my shaky hands through my hair. “She told me she wasn’t sure who she cared about more and then walked away from me, ripping my heart straight from my chest as if the last seven years we’d been together meant nothing to her.”

  I can feel her looking at me, so I turn to face her and lower my gaze to meet hers. “What happened with the other guy? I mean… she obviously wants you back, so I’m guessing things didn’t work out. But did you know the guy?”