Live Again

by Brittney Mulliner

  “That’s not true. Some of them saw the pictures, but only a few of us actually know what it was about. Everybody else probably thinks it was some weird prank.”

  “I wish it was.”

  “I know, baby. Let’s get to class. Just ignore the stares.”

  He put his arm tight around my shoulders and led me through the throngs of students trying to get to their classes.

  Mr. Cox was missing when we took our seats, giving Sydney the opportunity I’m sure she’d been waiting for. Decked out in a low-cut pink top and tiny shorts, she looked like she was applying to work at Hooters. She sauntered over to my desk as if practicing her model walk and stood with her hands on her hips.

  “Could you be more of an attention whore?”

  I nearly choked on the water I had just sipped. Me? I looked her up and down with one brow raised. Seriously? She was doing this now? “Excuse me?” I could not fathom why she was picking a fight with me in front of the entire class, again.

  “You heard me. How much did you pay someone to put those pictures on your car?”

  My body was nearly shaking from rage.

  “You obviously just want attention. So did you do it yourself, or pay someone?”

  It took everything I had left in me not to raise my voice and create a bigger scene. “Why on earth would I ever do that to myself?”

  “Nobody at this school cares about you anymore. The shiny new toy has become used and dull.”

  “You think I care what people here think about me?”

  She rolled her eyes instead of replying.

  “My friends are the ones whose opinions I care about. Some psycho put those on my car, along with the message. If you want that kind of attention, I’ll pass off your information to him and maybe he’ll leave me alone.”

  She glared at me for a few more seconds before Mr. Cox finally decided to make an entrance, and she moved back to her seat.

  I fell back into my desk and closed my eyes. Who did Sydney think she was? Accusing me of doing something so messed up to myself just for attention. She was the only person I’d ever met that was so obsessed with appearances and popularity that the idea would even cross her mind.

  ☼ ☼ ☼

  True to his word, Mike walked me to the usual spot where we met Cassie, then walked with us to the girl’s locker room door. He gave a look at Cassie before finally walking away.

  “Please tell me he did not talk to you about watching me.”

  She shrugged as we got to our lockers and set her bag down. “It’s not like I wouldn’t do it automatically.” My expression must have spoken for me. “Aubrey, we’re all worried about you. Talia and Alexis explained some stuff to me this morning, and I’m so sorry you’ve been going through this. I wish you had told me earlier.”

  I knew leaving her out of the initial discussion of the situation was a mistake. I trusted her and knew she would never hurt me. “I’m sorry. Things have just been crazy and I wanted to keep it to myself. I never thought it would become public. Nothing up until yesterday has been outside of my house.”

  “I understand why you didn’t tell me, but I want to be here for you now. Plus, the team needs you this weekend!” She chuckled, and it broke up the tension hanging over us.

  “That’s all I’m good for, huh?”

  “Pretty much.”

  We laughed together, and it felt so good to forget about all of the bad happening for just a moment.

  Once we finished changing, we headed into the dance room. Warming up and going through the floor routines were the perfect distraction for an hour.

  The moment we changed back into our clothes and got outside, I was reminded of my situation. Donny and Bear were standing on either side of the locker room doors, acting as guards. Once Cassie and I stepped out, they took position without communication. It would have been impressive if it wasn’t so creepy.

  “You guys got the second-to-third-period shift?”

  Bear nodded but continued scanning the area. He would make a great Secret Service agent when his professional football career ran out. I turned and told him that, but he only nodded slightly, not allowing for distraction. Evidently Mike’s threats had been pretty serious to turn the two biggest goofballs I knew into serious bodyguards.

  Cassie broke off to go to her class, but Bear and Donny were attached to me all the way to English, where Talia was waiting for me. I turned to face the guys and held my arm up in a salute. “Alright, men, you’re dismissed.”

  Bear rolled his eyes and Donny laughed. Finally, they were back to themselves.

  Talia pulled me into class as the bell rang out. “Surviving so far?”

  I didn’t bother telling her about the Sydney drama; I knew Mike had already spread the word. “I hate everyone staring at me like I suddenly grew another head, but I appreciate you guys watching out for me. I just wish you didn’t have to.”

  She shrugged, and I appreciated her acting normal. “The attention will blow over eventually, and we’re all determined to figure out who is doing this to you. Hopefully we’ll have some answers soon.”

  Mrs. Alexander began her lecture, putting our conversation on indefinite pause. I tried to focus my attention on the class discussion rather than, well, anything else. I caught Gage glancing at me a few times. After the third time, I mouthed “What?” and got “Are you okay?” in response.

  What a loaded question. At that exact moment, I was fine. Nothing could really happen to me in the middle of school with so many people around . . . but I knew he meant in general. Should I answer honestly? That I felt like my entire world was crumbling around me faster than I could put it back together? Or should I give a noncommittal shrug, the universal sign of “No, but I’m not going to admit anything”?

  I compromised and mouthed back a simple “No.” He scowled and looked frustrated, but I turned my attention back to Mrs. Alexander and told myself I’d talk with him later.

  The guilt of having so many worrying about me was beginning to weigh me down. I felt bad that I’d become a distraction for Gage and Mike, and that Bear and Donny probably got in trouble for being late to their classes since they wouldn’t let me go to mine alone.

  The cycle didn’t end, though. Talia walked with me out of the hall, where Sean was waiting. They made the tradeoff, and I had to give Sean credit for attempting to make this seem like it was completely natural.

  “Did you finish the paper?” He actually made eye contact, which I attributed to him not being included on the threat of torturous practices. He was being protective without making me feel like I was a prisoner.

  “Yeah. Hopefully Mr. Copland appreciates the Prohibition era. It was the only amendment that seemed interesting to me. What did you write your paper on?”

  “Oh, mine was equally unique: the life of a freed slave following the Thirteenth Amendment.”

  “Ah, so creative.” I truly enjoyed AP US History, but I was already running out of new ideas and it was less than halfway into the semester.

  “We’ll be fine. I know he secretly likes us, since we are the only ones that participate in the discussion.”

  “That’s because he threatened our grades at the beginning of the semester. I can’t wait to see everyone’s faces when they see their grades and realize he was being serious.”

  I survived the rest of my classes and almost got used to my bodyguards. Almost. Some serious thought had gone into planning who was going to watch me and when. The guys were synchronized and treated their duty like it was their lives on the line . . . which, in a way, I guess they were. If anything happened to me, Mike would destroy them. Not that anyone had a chance to come near me with the constant guard of two football players.

  Gage was the only one able to find delight out of my situation. He made a game out of talking to me and trying to separate me from whoever was on duty. Needless to say, they did not find it amusing.

  When my last class was finally over, I was greeted by Mike, alone this time. I loo
ked around to see who else was watching us, but it seemed he thought that he alone was enough.

  “Hey, Mike. Are you walking me to my car?”

  He fell into step with me and led me through the hallway. “Nope. You’re coming with me to practice.”

  I stopped and grabbed his arm. “What are you talking about? I have to go to the studio.”

  “You can miss today. I’m not letting you out of my sight.” He made a move to continue walking but I stood firm.

  “Actually, I can’t miss today. It’s a team practice. I only have three days until the competition.”

  “Don’t you get how much danger you’re in? I’m not letting you go anywhere without me.”

  My heart started to race, and I glared up at him. “You don’t get to decide where and when I go somewhere, Mike. I have to get to the studio. Mckayla is driving me there and Cassie is giving me a ride home. I won’t be alone.”

  “I don’t feel good about you going. I want you in my sight until we figure out who’s doing this.”

  “I can take care of myself. You can’t put a leash on me and expect me to follow you around.

  My frustration was growing quickly, but luckily Mckayla walked up. “Hey, guys.” She looked between us and put her hand on my arm. “We have to go, Aubrey. You’re going to be late.”

  I shot Mike one last look and turned to follow Mckayla. He looked ready to tackle me and force me to go with him, but I couldn’t let him treat me like he owned me. He had no right to try to force me to miss dance. If he was so concerned, he could have skipped his practice and taken me to the studio himself.

  “I don’t know if I can take this for another day, Mac.”

  She looped her arm through mine. “He does it because he cares about you. Just remember that.”

  “There’s a difference between caring about someone and keeping them locked up. How can he expect me to sacrifice the things that are important to me when he can’t?”

  “He’s a boy, and boys are dumb. Especially teenage boys. Cut him some slack.”

  We reached the car and drove in silence. I knew she was right. Mike had good intentions; he just failed at executing them. Hopefully Brandon and Carter could find something soon that would put a stop to this.

  Chapter 17

  I secured my hair in a high ponytail with enough hairspray to help it survive a nuclear blast. I was finishing applying my lipstick when I caught the reflection of Brandon staring at me in the mirror.

  I reached over and turned down my music as I glared at him. “You scared me to death!”

  “I yelled your name a dozen times before I came in here. Are you almost ready? We need to leave soon.”

  “Give me two seconds.”

  “Is your bag packed?”

  Blotting my lipstick with a tissue, I looked myself over one last time. As much as I despised wearing stage makeup, I knew it was a necessity. I turned back to him and nodded. “I got everything together last night.”

  “Do you have the emergency stuff in here?”

  “What are you talking about? Like mace or something?”

  “No. You’ve been walking around for the past two days mumbling about extra tights and reminding yourself about an emergency bag.”

  Chuckling to myself, I followed him out of my room. “I didn’t realize I was thinking aloud. Yeah, I have everything I could possibly need, and then some. I’m all set.”

  “Then let’s get going.”

  He seemed unusually tense on the drive to the convention center by Disneyland. I turned up the music to get myself pumped up, since he was ignoring me. Usually when we drove together, he asked me about school and my friends, but today he was solely focused on the traffic.

  When we parked and got out of the car, he grabbed my bag without me even asking. Before I could ask him what was wrong, I was grabbed from behind.

  “You look so great!” My body relaxed when I recognized Mckayla’s voice. She released me and spun me to face her. “You hardly ever wear makeup; this is quite the transformation.”

  “I know I look like a drag queen, okay? We have to wear red lipstick and smoky eyes so the judges can see our facial expressions.”

  “I was thinking pageant queen rather than drag, but I see it now.” She winked and slipped her arm through mine, leading me to the entrance doors.

  When we walked in, applause and cheers broke out. I staggered back in shock at the group in front of me. Brandon stood with his arm around Liv, and Carter stood next to them. Before I could process what that meant, I was being lifted off the ground.

  “Hey, beautiful!”

  I smiled down at Mike, completely overwhelmed. “What are you doing here? I thought you were going paintballing!”

  He set me back down but kept his arms around me. “You really believed I was going to miss your first competition? What kind of boyfriend would that make me? I just wanted to surprise you.”

  Guilt spread through me. I actually had believed he was ditching out on me. “I’m definitely surprised! How did you get everyone to come?”

  Behind him, several guys from the football team were there, as well as Talia, Alexis, and their boyfriends. How did they all plan on this without me finding out?

  I spotted Cassie standing with Caleb and couldn’t help but grin at how happy they looked. Having all my friends here gave me a great feeling, but it made me anxious. I was performing my solo for the first time in front of a crowd, and everyone I knew would be watching me. No pressure.

  There was an announcement overhead asking people to take their seats. I turned back to Mike and tried to shoo him away.

  “Break a leg, Aubrey. We’ll be cheering for you!” He gave me a quick kiss before joining the group walking into the main auditorium.

  Cassie and I made our way to the room assigned to our team. The hallways were packed with other dancers in various costumes and team sweats. Our team was packed into a smaller room, which was full of racks that housed our costumes. We waved to the girls and checked in with the coaches before stretching.

  “Did you know people were coming?” she asked. I could tell she was feeling the pressure, too.

  “No, Mike told me he had plans with the guys and wasn’t going to make it. I’ve been mad at him for days because he wanted to surprise me.”

  “Stupid boy. At least he has good intentions.”

  A woman wearing a headset knocked on the open door and shouted curtain call. Cassie was in a lyrical dance with a small group that was performing first. She shimmied into a sparkly white leotard with a sheer overlay that gave her an ethereal look.

  The other girls were ready and waiting for her before we all ran to the waiting area backstage. I watched as our group was announced and the girls walked into their opening formation.

  The lights on the stage cast a blue glow just before the music started. Cheers broke out, and I could identify Caleb’s voice shouting for Cassie. I focused on the girls, watching for any mistakes, but even with the noise they were flawless. Whenever I was on the stage, the routine would seem to last for only a few seconds, but watching these other dancers, they seemed to last forever. We wouldn’t hear what they scored until the end of the competition, but I could tell they would place in their category.

  When they came offstage, I hugged each of them and ran back to our room with Cassie. “You did amazing! I thought Caleb would mess you up, but I didn’t see you even flinch.”

  “Oh, good, because I was shaking! I’m not used to having people besides my parents here for me. It was crazy knowing all of our friends were watching.”

  That was not what I wanted to hear, but I pushed the panic out of my head and went to the racks to find my first outfit for the contemporary small group dance. It was one of my favorites, with black ribbon that laced up my right leg and a leopard-pattern long-sleeved leotard with black shorts. Fierce was the best word to describe it.

  I joined the other girls in my group backstage and watched the end of the routine before o
urs. Blocking out the other girls and the noise, I focused on what I had to do. Having my friends and family in the audience wasn’t unusual for me. In Chicago, my parents and friends often came to support me. Having my brother see me perform for the first time in years should have made me nervous, but instead I was excited for him to see all my hard work and hours at the studio pay off.

  The stage darkened—our signal to get in place. I shot each girl a quick smile and froze in my opening pose.

  The next three minutes were a blur of lights and music. I could barely see the audience, but I could hear my name clearly coming from my personal cheering section. It was the perfect injection of adrenaline for me to nail the routine.

  I followed the others offstage and shared hugs on our way back to our team room. One dance down and only three to go.

  When I checked the schedule to see what routine was next, I panicked. The organizers had put my solo just two spots ahead of our first team routine. I would have exactly one song to run back and change into a different costume. Bringing it to my coach’s attention wouldn’t do anything, since it was too late to make changes. A magic trick was the only way I would pull this off.

  Since my solo had more points at risk, I focused on getting ready for that. If I didn’t look perfect for the team routine, it would be less likely to get noticed. My solo costume was a coral two-piece with a high neck, a lace overlay, and a shimmery skirt that fell past my knees.

  Cassie looked me over and gave me a thumbs-up before I stepped into the hall to run through the piece a few times. This was the first time I would be performing the routine, and I needed it to be perfect. If I scored well enough I would get to continue performing it at higher level competitions. This was the kind of exposure I needed to get noticed by the great college dance programs.

  I peeked back into the room and waved to Cassie. She blew me a kiss before I turned and made my way backstage. Rolling my shoulders and taking steady breaths, I felt ready. I closed my eyes and visualized the dance for a moment before I heard my name called. With one more deep breath, I moved onstage and posed, waiting for my music.