Live Again

by Brittney Mulliner

  “What an idiot.”

  “Yeah, I think so.”

  He was still shaking his head, deep in thought. “Are you okay?” Of course he thought about that. He’d always been concerned with how I was doing, but didn’t realize I’d be so much better with him.

  “I am now. Mike was my friend first, but dating ruined everything for us. He had so many expectations of how I needed to act and what being his girlfriend meant, but I couldn’t live up. I miss him, though.”

  “I bet. He was one of your first friends here. I can’t believe he would be willing to throw all of that away.”

  The girls had been right the other night. I owed it to myself and to Mike to try to make things right. He was my friend first, and I wanted to get back to that somehow.

  “Maybe he can move past it, eventually. I’d like to stay friends with him.”

  Carter looked surprised. “You would?”

  “Yeah. Good friends are hard to find, and us dating was a huge mistake, which I know now. If he sees it too, maybe we can go back to being friends.”

  “That’s very mature of you. Most girls would be cursing his name and refusing to admit they were wrong.”

  I debated whether or not it was time to say what had been on my mind. There were only two possible outcomes. He would either agree that we belonged together, or crush my heart and says no. Luckily, the possibility of being with him was worth the chance of being denied. Again.

  “Carter?”

  His focused returned to me and his eyes locked on mine. “Yeah?”

  “Do you . . . I mean . . . is there?” This was one thousand times harder than I could have possibly imagined.

  He chuckled and looked more confused than I was. “You can talk to me about anything, Aubrey. What’s wrong?”

  My leg was bouncing uncontrollably. I glared down at it, willing it to get it together. I could taste my nerves. I exhaled slowly, trying to buy more time. This was what I wanted, the chance to talk and have him truly listen to me.

  Ever so slowly, my gaze rose to meet his. “Carter, do you still . . . have feelings?”

  Really, Aubrey? “Do you still have feelings?” No, he’s now a robot. I wanted to slap myself, but I knew that wouldn’t help my case.

  “Ummm, I think so? Like, in general?” Deep down I knew he wasn’t purposely being difficult, but I really didn’t want to come out and say it. Apparently, he wasn’t going to finish this for me.

  “No. Specifically . . . about me.” I held my breath and waited desperately for him to speak.

  His face softened immediately. “Aubrey.” He ran his hands over his face for several seconds. “Brandon is going to kill me.”

  My head was feeling light from the lack of oxygen, so I knew I might have misinterpreted him. “What?” The word came out in a rushed breath.

  His hands reached out for mine and tugged me closer. “Aubrey.” That was all I heard before he leaned closer and his lips found mine.

  The memory of our kiss on the balcony rushed in. This was what a kiss was supposed to feel like. Exciting and full of all that was left unsaid. Through this kiss I knew how he felt. I could feel his relief.

  After the earth stopped spinning, I looked up at him. “Please don’t take that back.”

  His fingers brushed my cheek before he cradled my face in both hands.

  I closed my eyes and leaned against his palm as naturally as breathing. “Please don’t.”

  “Aubrey, look at me.” He waited until I followed his words. “Never again. I’ve learned my lesson and I’ve lost you once before. Never again.”

  ☼ ☼ ☼

  It turned out talking with Carter was the easiest thing I had to do that day. He stayed with me, wasting the day on movies and cuddling. We were comfortably intertwined while watching the third superhero movie of the day when the door opened.

  I felt Carter tense around me, but he didn’t move. It went against everything inside me to stay where I was and not fall to the floor in an attempt to cover up what we were doing. Because clambering to the ground would be so much better than simply laying still. We weren’t actually doing anything wrong. Brandon might not agree, but we had nothing to hide.

  When I peeked out of the corner of my eye, I saw him standing at the edge of the kitchen, staring. His face was frozen in what appeared to be shock. His eyebrows were pinched together and his mouth was slightly ajar.

  “What. Is. Happening?” In all my years of living with him and pestering him as kids, I’d never heard this voice. It was authoritative and beyond angry. If I could guess what our dad sounded like, I’d bet it was just like this.

  Carter looked over casually and smiled. “Hey, Brandon.”

  “‘Hey’? What are you doing with my little sister?” His face was growing redder by the second, like his anger level was changing for all to see.

  “I told you I cared about her. I tried to tell you, but you never gave me a chance to explain.”

  “Get away from her.” His words send an icy chill down my spine. This was going worse than I could have ever anticipated.

  Carter sat up but didn’t move away. “Brandon . . .”

  “Get out of my house.”

  My head shot back to him. “What? Brandon, he’s your best friend . . .”

  “No. Not anymore. Get out of my house, Carter. Now.”

  I couldn’t sit and watch this any longer. “No, Brandon. Please listen to me.”

  “You are a child, Aubrey. You don’t get to tell me what to do.”

  “I’m not a child!”

  “You’re sure not old enough to be with him!”

  Carter stood and put his arm in front of me, creating space between me and my brother. “Brandon, I’ll go tonight but you need to accept this. It wasn’t something that just happened. I tried to tell her we can’t happen. I encouraged her to date guys her age and enjoy high school, and look how that turned out for her.” He paused as if expecting Brandon to interrupt him. “I care about her. You know that. I would never do anything to hurt her.”

  I looked between them, waiting for the next round of battle.

  Brandon began shaking his head. His expression faded from anger to defeat. “I know, Carter. I know that if I could ask for anyone to look over my sister and protect her, it would be you, but I just can’t. She’s seventeen!”

  “I know she is, but that doesn’t change how I feel about her.” I wanted to step in and speak for myself, but Carter’s arm was still holding me back. He wasn’t done. “You know just as well as I that she deserves to be happy. I’m just asking you to let us try.”

  He was smart to ask Brandon’s permission. This would only work with his approval and support. Carter valued their friendship too much, and I didn’t have it in me to defy him or sneak around.

  “I need to think about this.” He moved around us and fell onto the couch. He was rubbing his face again, and looked like he’d aged ten years during this conversation.

  The front door opened again, and I looked over to see Liv walking in with a huge smile. “Hi, guys! Is Brandon ready?” Her smile faded when she saw him crumpled on the couch. “What’s going on?”

  I looked at Carter for help.

  “We just told him something and he’s not taking it well.”

  Liv looked between us. “Are you okay, Aubrey? Did something happen?”

  I immediately began shaking my head. “No, I’m fine! It’s nothing bad.”

  Brandon scoffed behind me.

  She continued to stare at me and Carter. Her eyebrow slowly rose and her smile reappeared. “You guys told him?” She was suddenly bouncing on her toes and clapping.

  “You knew?” Brandon growled.

  “I didn’t know they were together, but I’ve seen it.”

  “What?” The three of us spoke at the same time.

  “Oh, please, I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. Even when she was dating Mike, she was drawn to you. I knew you were trying to fight it, but I also kn
ew you would cave eventually. Some people, like you two, are meant to be. You might have some obstacles, but I can tell you guys truly love each other.” She looked confident for a moment before confusion set in. “What?”

  My mouth was on the floor. Love? No one had mentioned love. Brandon looked like he was ready to jump on Carter and pound him into the ground, but Carter looked just as stunned as I felt.

  “That’s it! Get out of my house!”

  Liv turned to Brandon in alarm. I’m sure she thought for a second he was talking to her, but no, he was glaring at Carter. If looks could kill, Carter would be dead and buried right now.

  Liv stepped up to Brandon and put her hands on his chest. “Babe, you need to calm down. He isn’t some ex-con Aubrey found on the street. He’s your best friend, your business partner. Could you think of anyone else you’d rather have your sister be with?”

  “Yeah, no one! She’s too young!”

  “No, she’s not. She is old enough and mature enough to make her own decisions. You trust her, and you trust Carter. Now it’s time to show it.”

  For the first time since he started yelling, Brandon looked at me. His face softened, and he slowly returned to the brother I knew. “Is it true, Bree?”

  “What?” I was terrified of what he was going to say.

  “You like him? You want to be with him?” It looked like it pained him to even ask.

  “Yes. I do.” I pulled back my shoulders and stood tall. There was nothing to be ashamed of.

  He looked over at Carter. “You swear to me you’ll take care of her?”

  “Of course.”

  “You’ll never hurt her or pressure her or be anything less than a perfect gentleman?”

  “Yes, Brandon.”

  Brandon sighed and nodded. “Okay. I’m trusting you with the most important thing in my life. Do you understand?” Carter nodded. “If I see even one tear from her that was caused by you, I will kill you.”

  “I know, but you don’t have to worry about that.”

  “Maybe, but I want us to be clear.”

  Carter nodded once more and finally looked over to me. “Are you okay with that?”

  “Yes.” I rushed to Brandon and wrapped my arms tightly around him. “Thank you.”

  He squeezed me back and kissed my hair. “I love you, Aubrey. I will do everything I can to protect you, always.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Chapter 25

  My days found a new routine of normal. The girls were all excited to hear that things had gone well with Carter, and that we’d survived the wrath of Brandon. I still tried to talk to Mike at school, but he ignored me in class and avoided me when he could.

  I hadn’t received a note recently, which had me on edge. Did they know about me and Carter? Were they still watching me right now? I wanted them to know that they were not winning. I wasn’t going to let this break me.

  I went to my classes as normal, feeling much better than the day before. If they were watching, I wanted them to know that they couldn’t get to me. I was going to outsmart a stalker. I would go through my daily routine as I always had, but this time I was going to be aware.

  The next time I received pictures or notes, maybe I could figure out whether the stalker was on the school campus, but that would mean it was somebody I knew, probably one of my classmates. That thought was almost enough for me to crumble and give up, but I wouldn’t.

  Brandon might be the computer guy, but I was smart too. I’d made a plan last night. I was going to trace my patterns and see where I was vulnerable. Although, knowing when I slept when he was able to get to me wasn’t a comfortable place to start.

  I asked the guys to install a different alarm system, but they’d already begun working on a new security system for the house. The security guards for the buildings had been notified and we were taking extra precautions to track who was going to the penthouse.

  I felt like we were a step ahead, finally. It was easier to act like I was being normal and to pretend like this wasn’t really happening. If I was pretending to live my normal life, this could be like a movie, and it was easier to pretend than face the truth. The truth that even though Morgan might be locked up, there was someone else. Someone else wanted to get to me and hurt me, but this time I wasn’t alone.

  I had Brandon and Carter and Mckayla and Talia and Alexis and, if it got worse, everyone from the football team, rugby team, and basketball team. Most of them were aware to some degree of what was happening since Mike told them and they’d seen my car in the parking lot. I felt like I had bodyguards pulling me around campus and making sure that no one was following me.

  The only place the boys refused to go to was my dance studio. Cassie would drive with me whenever she could, and it helped knowing she have my back. I never saw anything out of the ordinary at the studio, but it was still a challenge to focus on what teachers and coaches were saying. I think they knew something was wrong, but they never pressed for information.

  The dance studio had always been my sanctuary, my safe place, and I didn’t want to lose that. I even convinced Brandon to let me stay after on Thursday night so I could practice some of my solos. I wasn’t going to let the drama going on in my life affect my dancing, and I promised him someone would be with me until I locked up. He felt comfortable with it as long as I had my phone near me.

  We hadn’t received any notes or pictures lately. Things seemed to have quieted down on that front. I didn’t want to get into a false sense of security, but I thought that maybe the detectives were right: maybe this was just a sick joke.

  As I ended my practice on Thursday, one of the teachers waved to me through the window and signaled that she was locking up and leaving. I packed up my bag and turned off the music just before I went to turn off the lights.

  The lights in the hallway flickered off, but no one else was here. I grabbed my phone and my pepper spray.

  Silently, I stepped into the hall with one hand on my phone. I pressed on the icon to call Brandon. Maybe I was freaking myself out. Maybe the lights were on a timer.

  I took a few steps into the hall when something dropped from the ceiling. I stared at photographs as they fell to the ground. They were of me at school, at the studio . . . some looked like they had been taken tonight.

  How did these get here? Who was doing this? The studio was locked up. How did anyone get inside without me noticing?

  I could hear Brandon’s voice yelling at me from my phone. Slowly, I lifted it to my ear. “Brandon, I think someone is here.”

  I heard him curse. “Aubrey, where are you? I want you to get to your car as fast as you can!”

  “I’m in the hall. I’m just leaving the studio now. Someone turned the lights off, and there are these pictures of me on the ground. Brandon, I don’t know what to do.”

  “Keep calm, Aubrey. Just get to your car. I’m going to stay on the line with you. Carter knows where you are, he’s hurrying.”

  The hair on the back of my neck sprang up. I spun around, coming face to face with the masked man. I had nowhere to run and no one to help me. I was stuck.

  “Hi, Aubrey. Did you miss me?”

  This couldn’t be happening. The need to get away from him took over. I stepped back, shaking my head. My back hit the wall.

  He took another step forward as I told myself to fight. One kick to his knee caught him off guard. He fell forward at me, but I dodged to the right and ran.

  I heard his pounding steps following me. Ten steps from the door, my foot was pulled out from under me. I crashed onto the floor and felt him move on top of me.

  Thrashing out, I made contact. Warm liquid gushed onto my hands. Feeling his pause, I pounced to my feet. Limping over him and to the door, I prayed I would make it.

  All I could hear was the sound of my own breathing.

  I gripped the doorframe for a second before pulling on the handle. It was locked.

  Before I could blink, I was being thrown to the ground. My
head made contact first, then my shoulder, which let out an alarming pop. Pain swept over my body, paralyzing me.

  “You should have listened to me.” I didn’t know what he meant, but I didn’t have a moment to consider it before another blow came to my head. “You ruined everything. Now it’s my turn.”

  I tried to move my hands up to block my head, but only my left arm moved. His weight lifted away from me.

  For half of a heartbeat, I thought he was done. I’d survived.

  An explosion in my ribs released the screams I’d been holding in. Again and again I felt my insides burst.

  It was too much. I was done. My strength was gone and took with it my will to fight back.

  Blow after blow in my ribs and stomach. So slowly, the pain decreased. I was growing numb. My body jerked and bent with each hit, but I felt nothing.

  ☼ ☼ ☼

  Unfamiliar voices pulled me out of the darkness. I told myself to move, but nothing happened. Not even my eyes had strength to open. The voices blended into other sounds, too confusing to follow. The sensation of being lifted jolted me into awareness.

  A painful breath escaped my lips, and it felt like the first movement my lungs had had in years. Everything ached.

  “Stay with us, Aubrey.” One voice, a man, spoke gently near my ear.

  ☼ ☼ ☼

  I sat in the back of the ambulance while the paramedics looked over me. I felt numb. I couldn’t hear or feel those around me. I watched the chaos around me but saw nothing.

  I heard my name, but didn’t bother turning. Anyone could find me. I wasn’t safe anywhere.

  Two officers walked out of the studio with a man between them. Actually, that scum didn’t deserve to be called a man.

  I mindlessly watched them walk him to their car. Before they let him slide in, one of the officers pulled off the mask, and I finally saw who had been watching me, photographing me, attacking me.

  I gasped and immediately began choking back my sobs.

  No! Not my friend!

  It felt like a burning knife had been stabbed deep into my heart. This was so much worse than when I saw Morgan: I had never trusted him. But the person staring back as me with a disgusting grin was Tucker.