Live Again

by Brittney Mulliner

  How? Why? The questions were flooding through my mind fast than I could begin to process them. He was my friend. I’d never done anything to him for him to hate me the way my stalker did.

  Arms slid around my shoulders and pulled me into a hard body. I could hear Brandon’s voice, but it sounded too far away. I needed to understand what had happened, because right now my world felt upside down.

  I was being moved. Looking up, I saw Brandon’s attention focused inside the ambulance. He didn’t look in any other direction as they guided me further in before shutting the doors.

  “It’s okay, Aubrey. You’re safe.”

  I didn’t nod. I didn’t even blink. I simply did what I was told. Apparently people can function on autopilot.

  As we pulled away from the studio, I looked through the small window and was shocked by the crowd. Several cop cars were parked haphazardly in the lot, with the ambulance I was sitting in next to the entrance of the studio.

  My happy place, my safe haven, had been violated.

  The one place I’d felt free in had been taken from me. If Tucker wanted to ruin my whole world, he succeeded. He’d spent months following me without getting too involved, but over the past few days he had isolated me from my friend, taken Mike from me, and attacked me in the only place I’d ever felt safe.

  I watched the studio shrink into the distance in silence. Brandon and the paramedic were behind me, talking, but I didn’t hear their words.

  Tucker wanted to ruin my life. He’d been in my room. Violated my privacy. Destroyed my relationship with Mike. All for what?

  Minutes, or maybe hours, passed before we pulled into the hospital parking lot. We jerked forward as we came to a stop, and instantly the doors before me opened. Worried faces took me quickly and slid the gurney out. The sensation of movement was somewhere in the back of my mind, but I could only stare forward.

  I wondered why I was still sitting up. In shows, the person in the ambulance is always lying down. My mind continued to focus on this mystery, completely ignoring the chaos around me.

  When I decided it was because none of this was real, things became easier to understand.

  I was now in a small room with various cords being hooked up to my body by an efficient nurse. Brandon had disappeared. Maybe he wasn’t real either.

  The nurse turned to face me with a smile on her kind face. “Aubrey?”

  My only response was to continue staring at her.

  “Aubrey, can you hear me?”

  What a strange dream.

  My hand was being lifted. I looked down and saw her fingers wrapped around my wrist. “Aubrey. You’re in the hospital. Do you understand?”

  I wanted to wake up. This dream made me feel funny. Dizzy and confused.

  “I need to change you into a gown. Can you do this yourself, or do you need my assistance?”

  My focus returned to her face. She was staring intently at me.

  “The sooner we have you changed, the sooner your brother can come back in.”

  Brandon. He was here. Knowing this suddenly made me miss him, need him with me.

  I moved my head in what I thought was a nod.

  “Alright, let’s get you standing up. Sound okay?” She was looking at me, waiting for something.

  My body moved automatically, and a few more minutes later I was sitting again in a stiff, papery gown.

  One finger was tracing the abstract pattern when the door opened. “Aubrey? Are you okay?”

  I lifted my gaze toward the voice. Brandon was looking at me like I might disappear. He turned to the nurse, but I couldn’t hear their voices.

  If Brandon was really here, was this whole thing real? Did I really just get attacked in the studio by my friend? The thought broke chills out across my skin.

  “What’s happening to her?” Brandon’s voice filled the small room. He was suddenly in front of me, clutching my face in his hands. “Aubrey! Calm down!”

  My body was shaking, convulsing painfully and completely out of my control.

  After a blink I was staring at the ceiling. Had I fallen?

  Noise was growing around me, but I didn’t know where they were coming from. I felt a stabbing pain in my arm and let out a sob. Nothing made sense. My entire body throbbed in pain and I was just so exhausted.

  I felt my eyes falling just before I felt something warm on my face. I focused solely on finding the source. I looked around but only saw the creamy ceiling tiles.

  Carter’s face jumped to the edge of my vision. I turned my head toward him, feeling even more confused. When did he get here?

  “Aubrey! Listen to me. I need you to breathe.”

  His words made no sense.

  “Look at me, Aubrey! Breathe!”

  Darkness was closing in around me.

  “No! Stay with me, Aubrey! You need to take a deep breath for me.” Other voices were being mixed with his. Shouts about numbers and an obnoxious beeping sound.

  I tried to focus on what he was saying. Breathe? Was I not already?

  “You’re having another panic attack, Aubrey. You need to breathe.” Wouldn’t I know if I was having an attack? I felt still.

  Something was suddenly blocking me from seeing Carter, and a second later I felt something against my face. I told my hand to move it. I wanted it off.

  “No, Aubrey. You need oxygen, just until you calm down.” I felt a squeeze on my hand. I clutched whatever it was, needing to feel connected to something, anything real.

  I could feel a change in my chest like something was being loosened. The pressure was dissipating slowly, taking the fog in my head with it. Carter’s voice was a constant pull away from giving into the darkness that promised relief.

  With each small breath I felt my body lighten. When I was feeling well enough, I squeezed the object in my hand.

  Carter appeared over me with a look of pain and concern. “Are you okay?”

  I nodded, understanding his words clearly for the first time. I reached up and pulled at the mask before he could stop me. “Brandon?” My voice sounded raspy, like I’d spent the whole night singing along at a concert.

  He was suddenly at my side. “Yeah?”

  “You’re here?”

  He slid his hand into my free one and smiled. “Of course. I’m not leaving you ever again.”

  I closed my eyes tight. “So this is all real?” The fear was obvious to my own ears.

  “Yeah, Bree. This is real.” He squeezed my hand tighter. “But it’s over now. He’s gone and he not going to hurt you ever again.”

  “Who’s next?”

  “What?” It was Carter who asked that.

  “Morgan is gone. Tucker is gone. Who’s next?”

  “This is never going to happen again!”

  My heart dropped. They didn’t understand. I was never going to be safe again.

  Brandon leaned forward, capturing my gaze. “I don’t know why Tucker was doing this to you, but we will find out and we will make sure nothing like this ever happens to you again.”

  Carter sighed. “I’m going to put a leash on you from now on. You’ll never leave my sight.”

  Chapter 26

  “Aubrey? Are you up?” I barely heard Brandon calling to me from outside the bathroom.

  “Yeah, just a second.” Everything took longer with my shoulder in, but I refused to have him help me with my makeup or hair. Covering the bruises over my body was impossible. The doctors told me they could take several weeks to fully heal. That was nothing compared to my broken ribs.

  “Do you need help?” Ah, there it was. He asked this question at least a hundred times a day. Most of the time I said no, but there were certain things I’d accepted I couldn’t do on my own.

  “Just brushing my teeth.”

  I hurried to finish before he could bust down the door. With one last glance at my sad reflection, I turned and left my room.

  Brandon was sitting with Liv on one end of the couch with a spot open for me next
to Carter. I smiled and made my way over.

  The detectives were already seated and looked like they had been waiting for me to speak.

  The older one, who’d never accused me of making things up, gave me a quick nod before clearing his throat. “We wanted to come by and let you know the details before things got too public. The media is going to go crazy with this one, but we’re doing everything we can to keep your identity a secret. No media will be allowed in the trial, and if you don’t want to be present, you don’t have to be.”

  Carter’s arm tightened around my shoulder. I knew all of this already, and he knew my decision to attend. I needed to see this for myself. I needed to be able to move on.

  The detective studied me for a moment before continuing. “Mr. McLane is pleading guilty to stalking, harassment, breaking and entering, trespassing, and aggravated assault.”

  My heartbeat was the only thing I could hear. My gaze fell to my hands, trembling in my lap. Carter pulled me in tighter to him and wrapped his other arm around me.

  “Mr. McLane is obviously a very disturbed young man, but he’s not unwell. He was in control of his actions. He’s going to be going away for a very, very long time, Aubrey, do you understand that?”

  I lifted my gaze to meet his and nodded. I suppose he was trying to make me feel better, but I needed to know more. “Why?”

  The detective looked confused. “Why what?”

  “Why did he do this to me? What was his motive? I need to understand why.” The desperation was clear in my voice.

  The younger detective sat up, looking pleased I had asked. “We found that out as well.” He looked at each of us as if checking to see he had our undivided attention. “He did it for his family.”

  My mind instantly went into overdrive trying to comprehend.

  “His cousin is Morgan.”

  The world tilted on its axis. I narrowed my eyes at the man before me. Was he insane? Nothing made sense.

  Liv spoke for me. “What are you talking about?”

  “We did background checks on Morgan’s family. No one lives on the west coast.” Brandon looked like he was going to explode. His leg was bouncing so rapidly it was shaking the couch.

  “Mr. McLane was very, very careful in his contact with his cousin. He used his mother’s maiden name and his father’s Chicago address to sign in to visits. We found correspondence between the two. Morgan would send letters to his uncle’s house, and they were then forwarded to his address here.”

  Carter was clutching my upper arm. “How did I miss that?”

  I reached up one hand to hold his to calm him down. “How could you have looked that deeply into it? Tucker was doing everything to get around anything that could be tracked back to him.”

  “I should have seen it.”

  They continued to talk about what details they had put together, but things still weren’t making sense to me yet. I needed more.

  “I want to talk to him.”

  My words snapped everyone’s attention to me.

  “No!” Carter practically growled.

  “I need to understand why. From his own mouth.”

  ☼ ☼ ☼

  Carter stood beside me gripping my hand in his. “You sure about this?”

  I stared through the window to where Tucker was sitting behind a table. “Yes.”

  The officer escorting us gave a curt nod and opened the door before waving us through.

  My breath caught when Tucker met my eyes. Where was the fun, flirty guy from school? The person in front of me looked haggard and menacing.

  Carter kept hold of my hand as he pulled out a chair for me, and we sat across from Tucker. No lawyers were present, since we’d arranged this and gotten approval. He already pleaded guilty and made his statements, so what else could happen?

  “Surprised to see me, Aubrey?” His smirk was vile. “I mean, did you ever suspect it was me?”

  I glared at him, wishing I could somehow cause him the pain he’d caused me over the past several months.

  “Of course not! I was brilliant.” He was so confident. He was sitting in a jumpsuit handcuffed to a table, and he was looking at me as if he was king of the world.

  “Why, Tucker?”

  “Why . . . ?”

  “Why did you do this to me?” My voice was cracking as my resolve dissolved.

  “You ruined my family. You had to pay.”

  I knew this part from his notes, but it still wasn’t making sense.

  “Morgan, my cousin. You ruined his life. You destroyed my aunt. Everything he’d ever worked for was ripped from him. Their names were ruined. My aunt had to leave the city.”

  “Everything was settled out of court. I thought no one knew.”

  “No one knew who the ‘victim’ was, just that Morgan was some sick lunatic. I was the only one who knew the truth. You had to pay for what you did to him.”

  “What I did to him? He assaulted me. He drugged me and tried to kidnap me!”

  “You think you’re so innocent. Like you didn’t ask for that!”

  He was insane. He was just as sick as Morgan.

  “The day I saw you on the plane, when I saw your name on the bag, I knew it was you. You were moving on with your life, so happy, while Morgan was locked up. It wasn’t fair!”

  He’d been planning this since the moment he saw me? I squeezed Carter’s hand, needing to know I wasn’t alone now.

  “How did you find me? How did you get in my home?”

  He laughed darkly. “Ah, that was so easy it was almost insulting. My friend from the team lives there. I knew the security guards.” He shrugged his shoulders like that was all he needed to say. “I told them there was an emergency one day and they both took off. I stole a master key.”

  That was it? He had a physical key? What else did he have?

  “But the alarm . . .”

  He cut me off. “Don’t insult me, Aubrey. That was child’s play.” He looked over at Carter. “Cute attempt, though.”

  “The pictures? You were with me in some of them.”

  “Oh, Aubrey, you’re so simple-minded. I asked one of the girls for the pictures she took over the weekend. I kept the ones of you. Geez, if I’d known how easy you were to mess with, I would have had a lot more fun!”

  I’d had enough. Talking to him wasn’t making me feel better or safer, just more vulnerable. I stood suddenly and pulled on Carter’s hand. He was up in a blink and ushering me through the door.

  “Are you okay?” He was gripping my shoulders and staring at my face.

  “No. I don’t know what I was expecting, but I couldn’t listen to anymore.”

  He pulled me against his side and walked me out of the building. “It’s over now, Aubrey. I know it might not feel like that, but this isn’t going to happen to you again. You’re safe.”

  I prayed he was right, but I couldn’t imagine life anymore without being worried about who was watching me. Morgan and Tucker were connected. Was there anyone else who would come after me to avenge Tucker? Andy? One of his other friends?

  “Please listen to me, Aubrey.” He opened his passenger door and held it open for me. I slid in and turned to face him. “You’re safe. This is over.”

  He sounded so sure, so absolutely convinced. But I wasn’t.

  ☼ ☼ ☼

  Liv and Brandon had planned a dinner party as a celebration that things were returning to normal. My friends and family were ready to help me move on, and I didn’t think I’d be able to try without them. Their positivity that things were over was gradually spreading to me. It had been a week since the incident, which is how it was referred to, and I was feeling a little bit better with each passing day.

  “Are you ready, Aubrey? People are starting to show up.”

  I smiled at Mckayla and stood from my bed. “I guess.” I walked to her and looped my arm through hers.

  The kitchen was crowded as people milled around with drinks and hors d’oeuvres. Everything looked c
lassy and refined, meaning Liv had put this together.

  There was a hush over the room once a few people noticed me walking in. I squeezed Mckayla’s arm closer to me. Why were they acting so strange?

  Brandon stepped forward with a smile on his face. “Welcome to the fiesta de Aubrey! We’re all here because we love you and think you’re amazing.”

  This was so weird. I felt like I should have had a speech prepared or something. Time to wing it.

  “Thank you all for being here.” I looked around and smiled at Carter, who was standing in the corner. “I really appreciate all of the support and love you’ve shown me over the past few months. Who knows where I’d be if I didn’t have my bodyguards at school?” I smiled at Bear and Donny who were here representing the football boys. “Or my school chaperones.” Talia and Alexis whooped, making everyone laugh.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mike. “I’m so grateful for my amazing friends who’ve cared enough about me to put up with me through this.” I was staring at him, waiting for him to look at me, but it was like he was purposely avoiding me. I gave up and looked around again. I smiled at Cassie and shook my head. “I can’t even imagine what you guys thought about what was happening, but you didn’t care. You all supported and protected me anyway.”

  I was starting to tear up, but I cleared my throat and moved on. “I’m so, so grateful for my family. Diane and Steve, thank you for putting up with the madness and loving me through it. Brandon, you have been my rock. I don’t know what I would have done without you and Carter.”

  I broke free from Mckayla and walked into my brother’s arms. “Thank you.” I whispered against his chest and hoped he knew how much I meant it.

  “I love you, Bree.”

  I stepped back and smiled before turning to find Carter. I gave him a tight hug and kissed his cheek. “Alright, enough of that! Let’s eat, drink, and be merry.”

  Cheers followed my admittedly lame speech. I cuddled against Carter and looked around the room. How lucky could one girl be? A room full of people who had proven they’d be there for me no matter what.