Azure (Drowning In You)

by Thoma, Chrystalla

  “Pretty windy,” Markus agreed, pouring Olivia coffee. He gave her a once over. “Did a wave catch you? You’re wet and look like shit. Still better than yesterday, though.”

  “Gee. Thanks or screw you?” Olivia sipped her coffee, trying to calm down. “Haven’t made up my mind yet.”

  Kirsten snickered. “You look like a drowned rat. How’s the poetess’s son?”

  “Fine.” Olivia unclenched her fingers, dropped the pebble on the table.

  “And what’s that?” Markus squinted at it suspiciously, as if it might grow legs and walk away.

  “A pebble,” Kirsten said. “A cracked pebble. Pretty, though.”

  Olivia took off her chain and strung it back on. She clasped the chain behind her neck, the familiar weight of the stone setting again on her breastbone.

  “Damn. Can’t believe we’re leaving in two days.” Markus made a face. “I was getting used to the sunlight.”

  Two days? Olivia thought she might be sick. Already? Where did time go? Two weeks had seemed like years when they’d booked the flights and the hotel.

  “Liv?” Kirsten was staring at her. “Everything all right?”

  “Yeah, sure.” She forced a smile. What could she say — you were right? This time my heart will break?

  When was Professor Skein supposed to be back in town? Time had blurred into a string of events with no real connection between them. He had to be back. She’d said she’d return to see him, and she recalled calculating the days and knowing she’d still be there.

  “I don’t suppose I can interest you in coming with us to explore the town of Rethymnon?” Markus waved a hand before her face. “We’re taking the bus in half an hour. It’s a beautiful medieval town, like Chania.”

  “Thank you, but I think I’ll stay here.” She glanced at Kirsten, who looked somberly back. “I’m sorry, guys, for not spending more time with you on this vacation.” A joke, really. She’d barely spent any time with them. “Can you forgive me? I need to stay here today.”

  “Love,” Kirsten said, “is like a child, that longs for everything it can come by.”

  “Then spank it,” Markus said. “I can’t believe you’re still encouraging Liv in this.”

  “She’s not.” Olivia gulped down the rest of her coffee. “She told me I should stop. But I can’t.”

  “You must, Liv.”

  “Why?” She pushed back her chair. “Why is what I feel now any less than what I felt for Justin all these months that proved to be no love at all? Why not let myself love even if I don’t know Kai so well?”

  “Because,” Markus said gently, “we’re leaving soon, Liv.” God, how he turned the knife in the wound. “You know that. And don’t forget your studies, your family. They’re waiting for you. You’re not staying here, are you?”

  How could she? Even if they had something serious going on, which would only become apparent in time, after weeks or months, would she abandon her studies and find a job at a taverna?

  She could. She could leave everything behind and explore Kai — his mind, his body, his curse.

  But that was nuts. Even if she was prepared to do it, he wasn’t ready to be with anyone but the sea. And the sea didn’t want to let him go.

  “I’m mad,” Olivia whispered. “The best people usually are.”

  “What was that?” Kirsten gave her a sidelong look.

  “It’s from Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland,” Markus said, chuckling. “Take that, Kirsten. It was for you.”

  Not really. It had just come out. Although Olivia couldn’t help noticing Markus had stopped quoting Myra Crow since she’d told him who Kai was.

  “Who’s mad?” Kirsten scowled. “Anyone in particular?”

  Olivia shook her head and sighed.

  ***

  Olivia took her time showering and getting dressed. Kai thought she was pretty, he’d said it many times, but she wanted to look good for him, even as her heart clenched around the thought of leaving so soon.

  Don’t think about it now. Live for today. Be happy.

  In the cool solitude of her hotel room, the anger of the sea and the thing she thought she’d seen seemed distant and unreal. But she couldn’t dismiss them. Only she didn’t know what to do, how to help Kai.

  Kai said he’d talked to professor with no results, but what if there was some new clue he could give her? The pebble, for instance, and the way the sea had reacted. She could go together with Kai to meet him. At least, that way, she’d know she had her best shot at saving Kai.

  And will you go home satisfied you brought a project to a good close and live on your life without Kai?

  Shut up.

  He’s not a project. He’s a person, a man, cute and sexy and troubled.

  Yeah, and what can I do? She pulled on her last clean dress, blue with white polka dots and pockets at the sides. Breaking the pebble hadn’t worked, apart from giving her a stupid fright.

  She just wanted to see Kai. Didn’t want to think about leaving, or mermaids and strange magic.

  She smoothed the dress over her hips. Kirsten always said the color brought out her eyes. She pocketed the pebble and checked the sole of her foot, deciding the cut had healed enough not to need a Band-Aid. Pulling on sandals, she went out.

  The reception desk was deserted. Pushing through the revolving doors, she stepped outside. The wind blew strong, pushing and pulling her as she treaded down the path to the beach. Sand whipped between the tables, but the few customers didn’t seem to mind. They’d been burned by the sun so badly, their skin had probably lost all feeling.

  She was already smiling in anticipation of seeing Kai, so it came as a shock when in his place she saw Matt. “Matt? Where’s Kai?”

  He shrugged. “No idea. Panos called and asked me to step in for him. I couldn’t say no. Believe me, it’s never happened before.”

  Her stomach dropped to her toes and she had to force a deep breath into her lungs. No, it couldn’t be anything bad. He’d asked Rita to stand in for him the day before, and he’d been fine.

  “Maybe he had to go to town, buy something for the hotel. One of these parties Panos organizes,” she said.

  “In this bloody weather?” Matt snorted. “I doubt it.”

  Okay. Fair enough. He hadn’t mentioned any errands he’d have to run, but in this business things changed all the time. Panos would tell her where Kai was.

  She saw Panos coming down the path as she climbed up toward the hotel. His bushy brows were drawn together. Not a good sign.

  “Hey...” she began, and he lifted his hand to stop her.

  “You see Kai today?” he asked.

  She staggered. “Early this morning, before his swim. Why?”

  “He not come in.” The words were bitten off, spat out. “Not today.”

  Shit. “Maybe he’s sick?”

  “Kai? Kai never sick. Never.”

  Jesus. “What can we do?”

  “Must find.” Panos shook his head, his shaggy hair lifting around his face with the wind like a weird sea anemone.

  “I’ll come with you.”

  He said nothing, shook his head again, and set off toward the cliff path to Kai’s hut. She rushed after him, hurriedly tying her whipping hair in a knot at the back of her neck.

  Panos’s strides were twice as wide as hers, and he seemed to know the path in as much detail as Kai did — like the palm of one of his huge hands.

  “Wait for me!” She scrambled among the dry grasses and bushes in time to see him exit the hut, his face set in worried lines. Without asking, she knew Kai wasn’t in, but she checked anyway, taking in the arrangement of his few things — the bed, the small table, the box, the nets at the windows. The wine cups and leftovers from dinner were still on the foldable table outside, as were the chairs. His swim trunks weren’t there. His shoes stood by the bed.

  “Panos,” she called, running out of the hut. He didn’t stop and she ran after him. “Panos!”

  He grun
ted and slowed enough for her to catch up. “What?” he grumbled.

  “He hasn’t gone back home. Since he left for a swim.”

  Panos stopped, his face betraying nothing, but a muscle leaped in his jaw. “When?”

  “Early.” When had she gone to the sea, cracked the pebble? “Around seven?” Now the sun was high in the sky. Midday or thereabouts.

  Panos muttered something that had to be a curse and started off toward the hotel. She once again had to run to catch up.

  Dammit. All morning he’d been missing and nobody had been worried. Because Kai came and went on errands, but never got sick, never had accidents. He was magical and therefore invulnerable.

  Unless something had changed.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Love is a spirit all compact of fire.

  Shakespeare

  Love churns, violent like the sea.

  Myra Crow

  Panos drove Kai’s pickup on top of the cliffs. They’d checked the nearby beaches. Nothing so far.

  “The mermaid beach,” Olivia said. “Navagio.” It was the only place they hadn’t looked.

  Panos shook his head, looking pissed. “Kai go there when angry. You make Kai angry?”

  “I don’t think so.” Taken aback, she tried to think of that morning. “He looked happy.”

  Still shaking his head, Panos drove on, parked the truck on the cliffs and got out. “Navagio,” he said, and she barely recognized the word the way he spoke it. “Come.”

  She got out and stood on the cliff, looking down at the beach. She didn’t know what she expected to see. Kai swimming. Or Kai standing on the rocks.

  Certainly not a body lying facedown where the waves crashed on the sand.

  Her breath left her lungs in a rush, and she stumbled backward, leaning against the car to steady herself. “Is it him?”

  Panos didn’t answer. Instead he pounded down the path, sliding and skidding, his arms windmilling.

  Her stomach roiled. She started after him, reaching the beach as he rolled the body over. She heard him call Kai’s name.

  It was him.

  Holy shit.

  “Kai.” Panos shook him. “Wake up.”

  She slid to her knees next to Panos. “What’s wrong with him?”

  “What you do?” Panos shook him again. “What?”

  Kai’s eyes opened to slits. Oh thank god, he was alive.

  “You! Why here? Why?” Panos was about to shake Kai once more and Olivia put a hand on his arm.

  “Stop. Something’s wrong.” Kai’s eyes were dazed, and every movement made him wince. “I think he’s hurt.”

  “No hurt. Kai never hurt,” Panos scoffed.

  “Dammit, Panos, look at him.”

  Panos lifted Kai’s shoulders, propping him to sit. Kai’s face paled, his teeth grinding together. Running on instinct, she laid a hand to his brow and cursed quietly.

  “What?” Panos grunted again.

  “He’s burning up.” When Panos didn’t look enlightened, she said, pronouncing every word as clearly as she could. “He has a fever.” She brushed soaked hair off Kai’s face, touched his flushed cheeks. “He needs a doctor.”

  “We must take Kai to truck.”

  She moved to his other side and placed Kai’s arm over her shoulders while Panos heaved him up. Damn, she wished Markus was here. He’d have carried Kai on his own. Kai’s head bowed forward and his knees buckled. They dragged him along the beach and up the path.

  Sweat spilled down Olivia’s back, dripped down her chin and stung her eyes. She couldn’t recall ever being so afraid in her life.

  He’d be all right. They’d put him to bed, and then a doctor would come and fix him.

  Like magic.

  It felt like days passed by the time they reached the top and helped Kai to the truck. He trembled against her side, mumbling unintelligible words. They laid him out on the back seat. Olivia sat with him, his head in her lap, stroking his wet hair. Heat radiated from his face, scorching her skin where it touched.

  Panos jumped behind the wheel and drove them back to the hotel in five minutes flat. Rita came out of the lobby, a hand covering her mouth, and then she went back in and started shouting. By the time Panos had opened the door and they had maneuvered a semi-comatose Kai out of the truck, two big-shouldered men Olivia had never seen before came out to help. They lifted Kai between them, one holding him under the arms and the other holding his feet, and marched inside.

  Olivia stood frozen for a heartbeat. The whole thing felt so unreal. She’d left Kai that morning smiling and well, cleansed somehow after everything that had happened the day before. To see him carried like a slaughtered animal, hanging limp between the two men...

  Shaking herself out of her stupor, she hurried after the men. She crossed the lobby and ran after Panos. “Where are you taking him?”

  “Family rooms.” He pointed to the back of the hotel and she didn’t ask if she could go along. She followed Panos behind the reception into a spacious apartment, a living room hung with paintings and framed sepia photos of grannies in black shawls. The furniture was covered in what looked like lacy white tablecloths.

  A woman with her hair caught in a severe bun came out of a kitchen, wiping her hands on her white apron. “Kai?” she hissed and Panos told her something in Greek that made her look sad.

  “I need to be with him,” Olivia said.

  The woman shook her head and sighed, gave Olivia a sharp look, and followed the men carrying Kai into another room.

  Olivia followed as well. It was a bedroom, as it turned out, with more framed photos on the walls and a dresser with a gilded mirror. Kai was laid out on the pink coverlet of the bed and Panos set to stripping him of his wet swim trunks.

  “Come,” the older woman said, tugging on Olivia’s arm. “Girl, come.”

  I’ve slept with him, Olivia wanted to shout. He was naked with me in bed only this morning.

  But she let the woman drag her out, because this had to be her house and she didn’t want to be impolite. However, when the woman tried to pull her further away, Olivia resisted.

  “I’m going back,” she said evenly, hoping the woman could understand her. “Back to Kai.”

  Judging they must have stripped him by now and she wouldn’t be offending family sensibilities by being there, she tugged her arm free of the woman’s steel grip and flew back into the room.

  Kai lay on the bed, covered to his chest in a white sheet, his hands clenching in the fabric. A cold compress rested on his forehead. He was mumbling something, and with a start Olivia realized it was her name.

  “He’s calling for me,” she told Panos and shoved her way to Kai’s side. She sat by him and took his hand in hers. His skin was hot and dry. “I’m right here.”

  “The boat,” Kai muttered, his teeth gritting. “Mary... Jonas!”

  She squeezed his hand, her chest tight. “I think he’s remembering the accident. Were Mary and Jonas on the boat that sank?”

  “Yes. Family friends.” Panos leaned over and said something to Kai in Greek, which earned him a garbled response. He straightened, his face grim. “Pain, he say.”

  He hurt. She’d known since the beach, and could see it in the tight lines of his face, the muscles trembling in his arms and legs, his labored breathing. “Did he say what happened?”

  “Boat sink in storm.” Panos waved a hairy arm in the air. “All die—”

  “I mean now. How he got hurt. Why he’s feverish.” Maybe a poisonous fish had stung him. A jellyfish. Or a sea snake. Did they have sea snakes in the Cretan Sea?

  Panos shook his head. “Kai not say.”

  “So his parents and their friends died in the accident... He doesn’t have brothers or sisters?”

  Panos shook his head. “He is alone.”

  Alone. “He has you,” she said.

  Panos shrugged, as if to say it wasn’t the same, and rubbed his chin. “Has a wall around him.” Panos tapped his own chest. “H
is heart.”

  She bit her lip and nodded, her gaze returning to Kai’s flushed face. That made sense. She stroked a strand of wet hair from his temple, resettled the compress on his forehead. She should bring more ice.

  Kai shifted restlessly, gripping her hand. His eyes moved rapidly behind his lids, as if he was dreaming, and his body arched and twisted beneath the sheet. His lips peeled back and a moan came from deep inside his throat.

  Shit. She looked up at Panos. “Where’s the doctor?”

  “Doctor come now,” Panos said gravely, sitting on the mattress and placing a hand on Kai’s shoulder, keeping him still. “We wait.”

  ***

  The doctor was a lively grey-haired woman who prodded and poked Kai until he moaned and tossed restlessly. She listened to his chest, then she took his temperature and pulse. She frowned as she listened to Panos chattering in Greek and answered some of his questions.

  Olivia seethed with frustration. She needed to know how Kai was. When the doctor grabbed her bag and stood to go, it was all Olivia could do not to scream. She jumped up from her seat and went after her.

  “What’s wrong with him?” She rounded the woman to stand in front of her, blocking her exit. “What is it?”

  “Who are you?” The doctor’s dark eyes held a hint of suspicion.

  “I’m Olivia. A friend.” She resisted the need to shake the doctor until she told her what she wanted to know. “Please tell me what’s wrong with Kai.”

  The doctor looked back at the bed, then at the door, as if she considered fleeing. “I don’t know,” she said, in her musical Greek accent. “He has a fever. He’s in pain. It’s not appendicitis, as I had feared. I thought that he hit rocks. In the sea.” She waved her hand in a vague gesture. “But no bruises. No wounds. No particular organ or bone hurts.”

  Olivia shivered. “So what should we do?”

  The doctor shook her head. “Keep fever down. Maybe it’s a chill or a virus.”

  A chill or a virus. Kai, who never got sick.

  The matronly woman with the apron bustled inside, a bag of ice and wet rags in her hands. Olivia stood, feeling useless, as the woman wrapped the ice in the cloth and placed it on Kai’s brow and wiped his chest.