Uncovering Desire

by Kacey Shea

  “You sure are a woman who goes after what she wants.” I smile wide as we reach the top of the staircase. I spot our party near the banister and wave. Evie nods and smiles back right away.

  “It’s the only way to be.”

  “I knew I liked you, Kate. Now, introduce me to your friends.”

  I like her too. At first I wasn’t sure if I would. My green-eyed inner goddess was rearing her ugly face. It was not attractive, and it bothered me. I don’t do jealous. If I’m not a man’s one and only I move on, no reason getting jealous over some other woman if your man wants to be with her. Fuck that shit. Hit it and quit it. I don’t do second place. Ever.

  I make introductions and greet my friends with hugs. My best friend Evie, her sister Melissa, Tate’s sister Carly, Steph, Marc and his husband Nicholas, and Jason, who surprisingly doesn’t have floozies hanging all over him tonight.

  “Band rocks! You forgot to mention they’re eye candy!” Melissa yells over the music. It’s only then I realize Three Ugly Guys are on stage and probably well into their set.

  “They aren’t too bad, right? And I have the painstaking privilege of working with them over the next two weeks. Rough life, I know.”

  “Bitch!” She laughs. Alex hands me a beer bottle.

  “Hope that’s okay. Didn’t know what you like. I’ve never been a VIP before. Open bar. I’m glad I came out with you tonight!” She bounces her head to the beat of the bass drum.

  “This is great, thank you!”

  “We’re going to get shots!” Evie yells. Melissa and her scoot out of sight back toward the bar.

  I take a sip and turn to see two curvy blondes slink their way over to Jason, drinks in hand, pouty lips painted pink. There they are. Jason’s revolving door of art groupies. He meets my gaze with raised brows, mouthing the word “twins” before wrapping an arm around each girl’s waist. I mouth back “manwhore” and cause us both to laugh over the crowd.

  Barbie number one doesn’t think I’m funny.

  “Did you just call me a s-whore?” Her words slur slightly, evidence she’s been enjoying the free drinks longer than I. She blinks and pulls away from Jason, steadying herself with the table. Her features twist in anger.

  “No, honey. I don’t know you well enough to call you names. I called him a whore!” I nod at Jason, and his eyes dance with amusement.

  “Oh.” She looks relieved and smiles. Wait for it. Scrunching her nose in confusion and then anger, she glares once more. “Don’t talk about him like that. Jason is a berry nice man.”

  “Did she just say berry?” Alex snickers. I hold back my laughter.

  Barbie number two scowls our way. “She’s not nice.”

  “It’s okay, baby. She’s my best friend and only teasing.” Both girls smile as Jason wraps them to his side again, and kisses the tops of each platinum head. Gag me. I turn and push closer to the balcony railing with the rest of our crowd, and attempt to get a better view of the show taking place below.

  The band’s rocking and the crowd is eating it up. My eyes travel over each band member but land back on Trent. He flips his long hair from where it falls in his face and catches my stare. His eyes never leave mine as his mouth moves deliciously close to the mic. Trent croons words about getting lost in the depth of my eyes. Wondering if he can take me home tonight. That together we can find solace from the loneliness inside. He will lay me down. He will worship my body.

  Even in this warm crowded bar goosebumps cover my skin at the sound of his rough voice. I stand still, completely mesmerized by the lyrics and the feelings pulsing to the sound of Trent’s song.

  He makes an obscene gesture with his long tongue that sends the crowd screaming in appreciation and my panties soak with the promise of his words. I know it’s only lyrics. I know he does this at every show. He just happens to fixate on me at the moment, probably because I told him no. But all the same, my sex clenches in appreciation.

  Holy. Fucking. Hell. Musicians are hot. Having this man focus his attention solely on me in a crowd of women who’d no doubt do anything to party after the show with this sexy foursome brings me satisfaction. I know it’s superficial. I keep repeating that to myself. He knows nothing about me except what he sees, but the same goes for him. I appreciate all that he is based on his ability to wear clothes in a way that causes one to want to rip them back off. His eyes hold me prisoner and I gently bite my lower lip to hold back a moan. That voice makes panties drop everywhere. I’m sure of it.

  Trent uses the bridge of the song to dance around the stage. The man has moves. He returns center stage, grips the mic to belt out the final lyrics, and gyrates his hips against the pole holding the microphone. Cue screaming women. I want.

  “He totally wants to fuck you!” Alex shouts into my left ear.

  “Ya think?” I laugh at her observation. She grins back mischievously, and nods her agreement.

  “Question is, are you gonna let him?” My eyes glance back to the stage to find Trent still seeking my attention with his eyes. I guess that’s the question of the night. I still didn’t know. I don’t want to be some groupie fuck. I haven’t been with anyone since my night with Jon. Still can’t seem to move on from the connection we shared. Maybe I need to get back in the saddle, or on the sexy rock musician, so to speak.

  “Or do you have your eyes set on someone else?” Alex lifts a brow in question. Did she know? How could she? She’s probably just confused by my inability to give a definitive answer.

  “What did we miss? Let’s drink!” Melissa and Evie appear at my right with a tray of a dozen shots. Melissa sets them down on the small table top, careful not to spill a drop.

  Tate’s sister Carly leans on the railing, intently watching the band with a look that sways between scrutiny and appreciation. She ignores the shots; she’s still nursing the water clutched in her hand. She’s nice, very sweet, and reserved from what I’ve witnessed, and I’m proud of her for coming out tonight. She didn’t get out much being a single mom of two young boys, but I’m sure this isn’t her scene. If she’s uncomfortable she’s hiding it well.

  “This is why you’re my best friends. You always know exactly when I need a drink!”

  Evie grins and hands one over, then another to Alex, who accepts with a nod. Melissa chats it up with my co-workers as she passes them shots, as well.

  “A toast!” Marc shouts over the band. “To fucking great artists.”

  Team Barbie giggles and stroke their long nails over his chest.

  Steph throws Marc a patronizing glare. “Only you would make a comment with a double meaning like that.” He laughs.

  I raise my shot before I put it to my lips and throw it back. The liquor burns all the way to my belly.

  “You all have been a fucking brilliant audience tonight! Thanks for having us out. Again, we are Three Ugly Guys.” Trent pauses to glance around at his bandmates, a devious smile pulling at the corners of his lips. “Let’s close the night with a song I’m sure you all know. The beautiful Katie Perry does it best, but since we love kissing girls, it’s a personal favorite of ours. Ladies, I wanna see you dance.”

  The band breaks into a rocked out, grungier version of I Kissed a Girl. The crowd whistles and shouts their applause. I throw back another shot. The burn barely registers.

  I glance around and find Alex grinning. She grabs my arm to pull me in close.

  “Let’s have a little fun?”

  “What do you have in mind?”

  “Seeing that he totally eye fucked you on that last song, I think he deserves a little payback.”

  I giggle as she pulls me closer and we begin to sway to the music. Her hands skim up and down my sides, resting on my hips. It feels good, getting lost in the beat of the music. We continue to rock our hips in sync. I let my eyes flutter shut.

  A hand weaves into the base of my neck and gives my hair a slight pull. I gasp. My eyes snap open to find hers watching her hands, now back on my hips. I feel Trent’s stare
following my every move. I don’t turn my head to meet his gaze. Let him suffer after what he did to me with that last song.

  As if reading my mind Alex looks up and leans in closely, slowly, licking my parted lips before she meets them with her own. It’s a soft, gentle exploration but it catches me off guard and when I gasp again, she takes the kiss a little deeper. It’s hot. It’s playful. It’s forbidden. It’s unapologetic and I’m turned on. Not so much that it’s Alex or that she’s a woman, but because I know Trent is watching. Does it turn him on? Does he want me? Will I let him catch me, if only for a night? Warm, molten heat like lava flows through my body. My skin is warm and flush.

  I slowly pull away and Alex winks, then laughs. I can’t help but join in, her delight is contagious. We continue to dance, taking turns bending each other over and grinding up all close and personal. We’ve gained the attention of our entire party, everyone encouraging us with laughter and cat calls. It’s innocent fun. I feel light and free and I relish that until the song ends. Alex wraps her arms around me in a hug.

  “Damn, girl! Too bad you aren’t gay or bi! We could have some fun!” She giggles in my ear. She’s surprised me once again.

  “How do you know I’m not?” I’m curious how she’s certain.

  “I just know these things. Sixth sense and all that. I like you, Kate! You are a fun time!”

  She wears a big grin and I’m glad she seems as lighthearted about our encounter as I feel. I’m pleased she eases the tension of the situation with laughter. As turned on as I am by our little dance and kiss, I’m only into dudes. What can I say? I love dick.

  We rejoin the group around our little table of drinks. I’m buzzed. The perfect level of drunk because I feel fucking fabulous, but can still recognize everyone’s faces. I listen in as Melissa tells a funny story about her baby Claire, but I’m quickly distracted as the band makes their way off stage and up the stairs to our VIP level.

  Trent leads the pack, his purposeful stride directed at our group. He locks eyes and my body heats with pleasure. He’s too damn hot for his own good. And the man can sing. I see why Three Ugly Guys is getting picked up by a label. They’d be marketable singing Mary Had a Little Lamb. I giggle and snort.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “You singing nursery rhymes.”

  “You’ve been drinking, I take it? Good, I like my women saucy.”

  We spend the next hour exchanging playful banter and chatting with my co-workers and friends. It’s getting late and people start to bail one by one from our group. Alex, myself, and the rest of the band crowd around the small table top. We’re out of drinks once more and Austin pops up to retrieve another round.

  Trent stands to my right and sidles closer. His lips scrape the curve of my ear as he speaks.

  “You wanna go back to my place?”

  Do I? My head starts to pound to the beat of the music blaring through the speaker system. The room spins a little to the left. I reach out and steady myself with the table. I don’t know if I want to go anywhere with Trent tonight. My indecision surprises me. I’m sure the sex will be good. Great, really. But that little voice inside my head chants ‘more.’ I’d like to tell her to shut the fuck up and go home for the night, but the reality that I do want more than a casual hookup with a rock star hits deep in my gut.

  “Not tonight, big boy.” I reach out and squeeze the front of Trent’s jeans and give him a cheeky grin. “I’m still not sure about you.” He laughs and Austin hands him a beer.

  “What’s the deal tonight, Kate? You banging our singer or do any of us have a shot?”

  “The fact you have to ask that question is your answer.” As if Alex can read my mind she wraps her arm around my left side.

  “Sorry, boys. This one’s coming home with me tonight. Ain’t life a cruel bitch?” She laughs and I join in as she drags me away from the band.

  “Sorry, guys. Looks like I’m out. See you tomorrow at the studio!” I call over my shoulder. We awkwardly sidestep our way down the stairs.

  “Fucking prosthetic. I’m ready to take my leg off and slip into something more comfortable.” Alex swears as she stumbles past tattoo bouncer boy and I can’t help but laugh at his shocked expression.

  “Something you don’t hear every day, right?” I smile and wave goodnight as Alex pulls me away.

  “We need a slab. I lean cab. Fuck! You know!” She yells at the bouncer manning the back doors. We’re a drunken hot mess. I give him a sympathetic shrug as he tries to not look frustrated. He hails us one of the waiting cabs from down the street.

  “Fucking drunk people. Am I right?” I snicker and catch a smile trying to pull at his tight lips.

  When we’re finally in the cab and I can successfully navigate my phone to find our address we’re on our way home.

  “Hey, thanks for the save back there.”

  “You bet. I just hope I wasn’t too pushy. If you wanted to go home with him I’d understand. The man is hot as fuck. You just seemed to hesitate.”

  “Yeah. I did. I’m not sure why.”

  “Well, then, it’s a good thing you brought me along. You should never do something you aren’t one hundred present certain you want. Especially cocks. Always be certain about those.” Our driver clears his throat and I stifle a giggle.

  “Do you care if I take my leg off now? I hate to be a little bitch, but it really hurts. Probably from all the rehab today and then dancing tonight.” Alex rolls her pant leg up to her thigh. Her words are spoken carefree and lightly but the severity of them makes me sad. She slides down the fabric lining and sure enough pulls off her prosthetic. “Here, will you hold my foot?” She snickers and I force a giggle as we both take in the nosy cab driver through the rear view mirror.

  “Eyes on the road, buddy. Nothing to see here,” I call out and earn a full laugh from Alex as she pulls off several socks and a silicone looking tube.

  “Ah. So much better.” She releases a sigh of pleasure.

  “You are my hero, you know that?” I’m dead serious but she laughs.

  “What are you talking about, Kate?”

  “I just—You’ve given up so much for me, for our country. It’s so selfless and I walk around every day worrying whether my nail polish is the same shade as my lipstick. I’m such a selfish person.”

  “Hey! Stop! I’m sure that’s not true.”

  “No, I really do worry whether my lips and nails match. It’s unhealthy how stressed I can get about that sort of thing.” She bursts into laughter, but when I don’t join in she meets my concerned gaze.

  “Okay, but that’s why we do what we do. We make sacrifices so people in this country don’t have to. Here we don’t worry about bombs blowing up our homes or our children not being able to ride buses to school in safety. We do what we do so you can do whatever it is you want, because we have this glorious thing called freedom and it’s worth protecting.”

  “But you’ve lost so much.” I hold up her leg and she nods.

  “We’ve all lost so much. My scars are laid out for all to see but make no mistake, every soldier has lost something. It’s not a contest, and if it were it’s not one I’d want to win. We miss birthdays, our families lose precious time, we struggle with PTSD and depression and anxiety. Some come home in a box. But we do it willingly because what we gain is so much more.” My eyes fill with tears and I feel them flow freely down my face.

  “Aw, don’t cry, my crazy Kate. It’s okay.” Alex squeezes me in a tight embrace.

  “It’ll be twenty even.” The cabbie interrupts our moment. We pull apart and I pass forward the bills before I slide out. Alex wraps her arm around my shoulder and we make our way up to the apartment.

  “When I first met you I thought I wasn’t going to like you. I’m glad I was wrong. I’m glad you’re here.” The honesty falls from my lips. “I just wish I could do something to show you how thankful I am.”

  We reach the door and Alex hops to lean against the wall while I dig out my
keys.

  “Headstands.” I slide the key in the lock.

  “What?”

  “Teach me your ways, yoga master.” I laugh as I agree to Alex’s simple request. Okay, headstands for freedom. Sounds like a fair trade.

  KATE INVITED ALEX ALONG TONIGHT and that fills me with relief for two reasons. One, Alex is a badass so I know they’ll be safe; and two, I’ve got work to do most nights this week and I already feel bad about having to leave Alex alone at the apartment. Hey, thanks for visiting, we never get to see each other; now, sit in an empty apartment. Kate, outrageous as she can be, will be the perfect hostess.

  I grab my bag, toss in a few protein bars, and I’m out. I have a meeting with one Mrs. Bryant, aka Kate’s mom, in thirty minutes at a Starbucks near the neighborhood we all grew up in. I’m really curious about what she wants from me.

  I walk into the coffee shop and scan the space to easily spot Mrs. Bryant. She looks the same as when I was a teenager, only a little older. Her eyes go wide with recognition and she stands from her chair as I approach.

  “Mrs. Bryant. It’s good to see you again.” I extend my hand and she grips in it her own.

  “Wow. You sure grew up nice, Jonathan.” Her perusal makes me slightly uncomfortable and I release her hand to sit across the table.

  “So, how can I help you, Mrs. Bryant?” She sits back in her seat.

  “Oh, please, you can call me Judy.” She winks before continuing. “I heard through Evie’s mother last week that you and her daughter have started a private investigation firm and it got me to thinking. I never know where in the hell my Paul goes most evenings. I’m his wife and I should know where he is. I tried asking him, but it’s same damn answer every time and we end up in a screaming match. Anyhoo, I’m hoping you can find out where it is he goes and maybe fill me in. I have money to pay you.”

  She reaches into her purse and slides an envelope across the table. I open it to find a thin stack of Ben Franklins. Still, the woman’s carrying around a thousand in cash like it’s no big deal. This surprises me since it always seemed as if Kate’s family struggled financially.