Dangerous to Know & Love

by Jane Harvey-Berrick

  “What if I don’t want you to stop?”

  He hesitated, trying to read certainty in her steady gaze.

  “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.”

  “I do. I do mean it.”

  He growled low in his throat, suddenly pulling her face to his lips and kissing her cheeks, her chin, her throat, her mouth.

  Lisanne gasped and wound her hands behind his neck, kissing him back passionately. She felt his tongue slide into her mouth, tasting faintly of beer, her brain fogged with lust.

  His hands tugged on the bottom of her t-shirt and Lisanne pulled it over her head. Daniel moaned at the sight of her bare flesh and sank his face between her breasts and nuzzled them softly, letting his teeth pull at the cup of her bra.

  The breath caught in her throat as for the first time in her life, she had the sensation of a man’s hot mouth on her bare nipple. His tongue rolled over and around the tight bud and his teeth grazed the flesh, making Lisanne arch her back. With a quick, practiced movement, Daniel snapped the fastening on her bra and pulled the straps over Lisanne’s arms, tossing it to the floor.

  Then he rolled her onto her back, bracing himself on his forearms, his left knee between her thighs, and began to feast on her breasts.

  Lisanne’s senses were overwhemed as his hard, heavy body pressed into hers. She couldn’t help wanting to stroke his broad back as he hovered over her. She felt his muscles shiver as she touched him, running her fingers all the way down to the curve of his ass cheeks.

  A long sigh left his throat as he sucked her skin gently.

  Barely coherent, she forced her hand inside his jeans and started to push the waistband over his hips. He leaned away from her and sat up long enough for him to kick the pants and his briefs free.

  They didn’t speak as her hands reached for him again, and he sighed again as she wrapped her hand around him.

  He kissed her down her body, forcing her to let go of him. Then his fingers unhooked the button on her jeans, and he pulled the zipper down. Without moving them off of her, he slipped a finger inside her panties and groaned when he found her wet.

  Lisanne gasped and arched her hips into his, feeling his erection pushing against her stomach. She couldn’t imagine how that would feel inside her – everything she’d read, everything she’d heard made her afraid it would hurt. But she didn’t want to stop. She couldn’t.

  His fingers pumped gently inside her, his thumb pressing against the warm, tight flesh. His mouth mimicked the movements on her neck and shoulders, gradually increasing the speed. She tried desperately to assimilate everything she was feeling, but her mind was overpowered by sensation.

  Her hips bucked onto his hand and the same slow burn, the fizzing of her blood, that she’d felt before, began again.

  “Daniel!” she gasped. “Daniel, I… I…” but her thoughts and words were swept away as her body took control.

  This orgasm was even more intense than the last. The intimacy they’d found by sharing their doubts and fears, maybe that was the reason.

  She hadn’t run. And he was still there, with her.

  Daniel stroked her face.

  “Lis? Lis? Do you still want me?”

  His voice was filled with tension.

  “Yes,” she said, the breath shuddering in her lungs. “I want you.”

  Daniel tugged off her jeans, followed by her panties, surprising her when he leaned down to kiss her pubic bone, nuzzling her wiry hair.

  “You smell so good,” he said, his voice hoarse. “Can I taste you?”

  “Uh… uh… I don’t know…” she gasped.

  “Please? It’ll feel good, I promise.”

  She nodded, bewildered, and he smiled at her.

  To Lisanne’s extreme embarrassment, his head disappeared between her thighs and she felt his hot tongue between her lips. When he flicked her clit, he drew a long moan from her.

  Embarrassment fled, and Lisanne was pulled under again by the extremes of her responses.

  Her fingers clawed at his shoulders, making him look up.

  “Are you ready?” he asked, his voice tight with need.

  “Y-yes, I think so,” she whispered.

  He closed his eyes for a moment.

  “Be sure, Lisanne.”

  “Yes, I’m sure. Please, Daniel.”

  The need in her own voice surprised her.

  He pulled away from her and reached down to the floor to find his jeans, plucking out his wallet and grabbing a condom. He sat on the edge of the bed, ripping open the foil packet. Lisanne watched, fascinated, as he rolled the thin film of rubber over his erection, tugging it into place securely.

  “Okay?” he said again, his eyes locked on hers.

  She stroked his arm. “Yes.”

  He climbed back onto the bed, his body shadowing hers.

  Lisanne screwed her eyes shut and grabbed the duvet and sheet with her fingers, waiting for the invasion.

  Her eyes flickered open in surprise when she felt soft kisses drifting across her chest and neck.

  “Relax,” he breathed. “It’s going to be fine, baby.” He rubbed his nose across her cheekbone. “Kiss me, Lisanne.”

  The way he said her name freed something in her mind. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his mouth toward hers.

  He kissed her with such intensity, with such certainty and ardor, that her whole body flamed under his touch.

  Gently, he pushed her knees into place and settled himself between her legs. Using his left hand, he coaxed her knees upwards, stroking her thighs.

  She felt his tip probing at her entrance and he pushed inside a short way.

  Lisanne tensed immediately.

  “Relax,” he breathed onto her lips.

  She took a deep breath, and as she did so, he moved into her with a quick thrust.

  Lisanne cried out as a brief spark of pain shot through her.

  Daniel held himself without moving.

  “Are you okay?” he asked tightly, staring down into her eyes.

  “I… I think so.”

  He moved his hips slowly, and sank a little deeper into her. She gasped as the strange and alien feeling filled her. Her flesh burned, but tiny shivers of desire skittered around the edges of her consciousness.

  “Tap my arm if you want me to stop,” hissed Daniel, his eyes scrunched shut.

  He started to pull out slowly, then push back in. Out and in, long, supple strokes.

  Lisanne’s body stretched and pulsed around him, and he groaned.

  He continued to move carefully, establishing a slow, steady rhythm.

  “Fuck, you feel so damn good, baby doll. Nngh, shit…”

  Lisanne opened her eyes and gazed down at herself, hypnotised by the way their flesh was initmately connected, his length glistening with the proof of her own arousal.

  She looked up, and saw his eyes fixed on hers, full of dark heat. He circled his hips and she cried out again, this time with pleasure.

  “Oh!” she breathed out, the sound faint on her lips, as she watched his eyelids flutter.

  She gripped his biceps and Daniel opened his eyes.

  “Okay, baby?”

  “Oh, God, yes!” Lisanne gasped out.

  He kissed her roughly and his hips began to move faster, the rhythm faltering slightly as he neared his own orgasm.

  His breathing became erratic and he couldn’t help himself from thrusting hard, despite the promises to himself that he wouldn’t lose control.

  “Shit, I’m coming,” he gasped.

  He felt the tightening in his balls as Lisanne’s flesh quivered around him. She cried out again, and he felt it vibrate through her chest. It was too much.

  He reared up, his back arching as he thrust into her one last time, trembled and was still.

  Panting hard, he rested his forehead on her neck, and felt her soft hands in his hair. He took a deep breath to try and steady his racing heart, then reached down between them and made sure the condom was
still in place as he carefully pulled out of her.

  He noticed there was blood on the sheets and on his hand as he tugged off the condom and tied it in a knot, before dropping it onto the floor.

  Concerned he’d hurt her, Daniel leaned up on his elbow and stared at her flushed face. Gently he stroked her cheek.

  “Are you okay?”

  She nodded, smiling up at him.

  “Sure?”

  She raised her fingers to his lips and pushed them into a smile.

  “I’m sure.”

  “Did it hurt? Did I hurt you?”

  “A little, but it’s okay. It felt…” but Lisanne had no words.

  Instead she smiled her answer and kissed him lightly on the lips.

  Relieved, Daniel lay back, one hand behind his head.

  Lisanne was struggling to define how she felt. Amazing, for one thing, but confused how pain – and it had hurt as he’d pushed inside her – how pain could bring such pleasure. Feeling him inside her, around her, surrounding her… seeing him move inside her – it had been extraordinary. And yet part of her felt the same: she was still Lisanne – music major and major nerd. She now knew that no matter how many times you read about the mechanics of making love with someone, it could never really explain the feeling. Girls at her high school had either raved about it or said it was horrible and painful.

  Lisanne was definitely in the former category – it hadn’t felt like sex, it had felt like love. And, coming after her declaration to him, she knew he’d made love to her.

  She snuggled into him, trailing her fingers over his chest and tugging gently on his nipple rings.

  Then she leaned up to see his face.

  “Why did you have your nipples pierced? Didn’t it hurt?”

  He smiled.

  “Yeah, a bit. It was intense.”

  “But you like it?”

  “Especially when you do that, baby doll. It’s a fucking orgasm waiting to happen.”

  She grinned.

  “What if I do this?”

  She leaned down and sucked them into her mouth one at a time, teasing the tiny rings with her tongue.

  When she looked up, Daniel’s eyelids had fluttered closed.

  He opened one eye and smiled.

  “Fucking hot!” he said. “You’ve given me a semi doing that.”

  Lisanne gazed down and saw that the sheet was tenting slightly below his hips.

  “Wow! That was quick! Um, I don’t think… I’m a bit sore.”

  “It’s okay, baby,” he said, a smile tugging at his lips. “I can’t help getting hard around you. It’ll go away if I can think about math or something.”

  Lisanne snorted and giggled. “Math?”

  “Yeah, or something. C’mere.”

  She lay across his chest and he stroked her back in soothing, loving touches.

  They fell asleep in each other’s arms.

  Chapter 10

  The sky had turned a deep, dark blue, streaked with purple by the time Daniel woke up.

  For the briefest moment he couldn’t remember where he was. Then he felt Lisanne’s warm body curled up on his chest, and the memories came flooding back.

  He lay still, his chest filling with warmth.

  She hadn’t run.

  She hadn’t told him she couldn’t date a deaf guy.

  He’d shown her the reality at the clinic – he’d even talked to her about cochlear implants, for fuck’s sake.

  And then she’d let him have sex with her, let him be her first. She’d wanted him.

  It had been amazing. The screwing had been good, sure, but it was more than that. Because she knew him – she knew him. She knew everything, and she still wanted him.

  It was hard for Daniel to take in.

  Since he’d first started to lose his hearing, he’d convinced himself that no girl would want him if they knew. That had begun his long line of hookups and one-night stands – leaving them before they could leave him when they found out the truth.

  But not Lisanne.

  Somehow she’d battered her way through all the walls and defenses he’d erected, not even knowing she was doing it.

  She was extraordinary.

  He stroked the soft skin of her shoulder, amazed that she’d fallen asleep curled up around him, her hair fanned out across his chest. So trusting.

  He realized his cock was rock hard against her thigh. That was nothing new: he woke up most mornings like that and, depending on whether he was running late or not, usually did something about it in the shower. He’d really liked to have found a use for it with Lisanne, but she’d said earlier that she was sore, and he didn’t want to hurt her.

  He shifted uncomfortably and she stretched sleepily, unconsciously rubbing herself against him. Daniel tried hard to concentrate on some algebra, but it wasn’t easy when a beautiful, naked woman was lying next to him.

  She blinked a couple of times, and her skin turned pink as she realized that Daniel was lying beside her, equally naked.

  He saw the moment her memories spilled into her mind and he tensed: maybe this would be the moment when she ran.

  “How long did we sleep?” she said, squinting to see the time on her cellphone.

  “About five hours,” he said quietly. “It’s nearly seven. Are you okay? How do you feel?”

  She laughed huskily.

  “Like someone rearranged my bones,” she said, holding her hand over her mouth as she yawned.

  He tapped her shoulder.

  “Say that again, baby. I couldn’t see your lips.”

  “Oh, sorry,” she frowned then stretched again. “I feel like I’ve spent the morning at the gym. Everything hurts.”

  She saw the look on his face and regretted the way she’d phrased it.

  “I don’t mean it like that, Daniel. I’m a bit sore, that’s all.”

  His mouth formed into a flat line.

  “You’re not sorry, are you? I mean, about what we did?”

  Lisanne smiled shyly, then kissed him softly on his lips.

  “No, I’m not sorry about that. It was… wonderful.”

  Daniel felt his whole body loosen. Wonderful. He could live with that.

  “Um, could you close your eyes just for a moment? I need to get my robe,” she mumbled.

  He stared at her in disbelief.

  “Lis, we just fucked halfway into next week and you don’t want me to see your ass?”

  She blushed even redder.

  “I know, just… please?”

  Shaking his head, Daniel closed his eyes. He didn’t like doing it, not just because he had enjoyed seeing her body at last, but because it deprived him of another of his senses. With no sound and no sight, it was just blackness and it scared him. He gripped the sheet and duvet tightly, wanting to be able to feel something.

  He jumped slightly when she touched his arm.

  “Sorry,” she whispered. “I know it’s dumb…”

  He smiled reluctantly.

  “It’s okay. I get it. Kind of.”

  Lisanne looked at him, gratefully. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

  She slipped out of the door and Daniel sighed. His erection was still showing signs of hoping for another play date with Lisanne. Staring at it with irritation, he swung his legs off of the bed and searched for his clothes. He pulled on his briefs and tucked his semi inside, cursing it softly. Damn thing never listened to him.

  He was just zipping up his jeans when Lisanne returned.

  She ran her eyes over his body hungrily, and frowned when she realized he was dressing.

  “I thought I’d take you out for dinner.”

  “Can’t we just stay here?” she said, yawning again.

  He laughed lightly. “We could, but I’ll want to fuck you again and I don’t think that’s a good idea right now. He glanced back at the bed, wishing he’d thought to cover up the blood that showed on the white sheet.

  Lisanne followed his gaze and looked horrified.

&
nbsp; “Ugh! That’s gross!”

  Daniel caught her arm and made her look at him.

  “It’s not gross. It was amazing. I’m just sorry I hurt you.”

  Embarrassment made her stiffen in his arms.

  “It can’t be the first time you’ve slept with a virgin.”

  His lack of response was all the answer she needed. She sat down on the bed, heavily. She wondered how it had been for him – after all, he was used to girls with so much more experience. And it wasn’t possible to have less experience than she’d had.

  Shawna’s words from a few days ago came back to her: maybe you’re just a lousy lay. Her shoulders sagged. Maybe now he’d had her, he’d lose interest.

  Daniel was worried by the conflict of emotions he saw on Lisanne’s face.

  “Baby, talk to me,” he said, quietly.

  “You’ve slept with so many people,” she said, sadly.

  Was that all that was bothering her? He tried to find the words that would reassure her.

  “Do you know why?”

  “Because you could.”

  He shook his head and twined his fingers with hers.

  “No. Because I knew they wouldn’t want me once I was deaf. After… it… I don’t know. It was… easier.”

  Lisanne stared at him.

  “But… but you’re beautiful – and hot – and all the girls want you,” she said, confused.

  “They want what they think I am,” he answered. “They don’t know I’m disabled.” He spat the word out bitterly.

  Lisanne was silenced. Was that how he saw himself?

  “Daniel, I…”

  He closed his eyes, refusing to look at her.

  She stroked his cheek and let her finger trace around his beautiful, sad mouth. But he turned his face away from her.

  She kept touching him, coaxing him gently. Finally, he turned to look at her.

  I hear you, she signed with her hands.

  He smiled and placed a soft kiss on the end of her nose.

  Then her stomach gave a loud rumble, and she rubbed her eyes tiredly.

  Tapping his shoulder, she stood up.

  “Come on then. Let’s go get something to eat. I’m starving.” She laid a gentle kiss on his pouting lips. “All that exercise has given me an appetite.”

  Daniel gave her a wry smile. “Better than going to the gym?”