Putting Boys on the Ledge

by Stephanie Rowe

  "Come on, Colin," she said. "Let's get ice cream."

  "Hang on." He pointed at me. "That's Marissa's big sister."

  The little girl looked at me with interest. "Is Marissa here?"

  "Um …no. She's at home." How did his sister know Marissa? I was completely confused. As far as I knew, Colin was just a hot senior who was mucking out our stalls. Now, he had progressed into a guy who knew I'd just bought my first thong, who went out on Thursday nights with his sister, and apparently had some intimate connection with the other members of my family. It kind of made him less scary. I mean, he was still a senior, but he had a sister Marissa's age. That completely put him within the realm of people I could feel comfortable talking to.

  His sister stuck out her lower lip and pouted. "If Marissa's not here, then let's go, Colin."

  He shrugged apologetically at me. "Sometime we'll have to get them together. They can have a play date while we hang out."

  Play date? Now I was laughing. How could I be scared of him now, even with the thong thing hovering between us. "How did you know I was Marissa's sister?"

  "They go to school together," he said. "Your mom was talking to my mom, one thing led to another, and then I got the job cleaning your barn."

  "Oh. I guess I'd wondered where you came from." I mean, I hadn't really, but it made sense now. That was so normal. I was sure Heath would never get a job because of some connection his little sister had. He was way too cool for that. He was unique, not ordinary, not like Colin.

  "Secret's out." His shoulder jerked as his sister gave a hearty tug on his hand. "I've got to run. See you all later." He nodded at my friends, then allowed himself to be dragged through the food court, somehow managing to dodge all the people without losing his sister.

  Natalie was staring after him. "He's sorta cute."

  "Very cute, in a disheveled and rough sort of way," Allie agreed.

  I watched him walk across the food court. He was taller than I'd noticed before, or maybe that was because his sister made him look tall. He wore the same baggy blue jeans, faded sweatshirt, and old boots as the day we'd met. Low points on the fashion scale, but he did look kinda cute.

  If you were into his look.

  Which I wasn't.

  I was into Heath's look.

  And I couldn't wait to get home and try on the thong. Can you imagine? Blue Waller in a thong. How funny is that? I'd feel like such a dope.

  Or maybe not.

  Maybe I'd exude confidence and Attitude, and Heath would be completely unable to resist my charms. He'd fall into my arms, declaring his undying love and devotion forever. Okay, yes, decision made. I was totally wearing this thong tomorrow night, even if it was the most uncomfortable thing I've ever had on my body.

  * * *

  My mom dropped us off at the corner, so we wouldn't have to be seen arriving at the cast party with a parent. Heath probably drove his own car—no way would he be impressed with a girl who let her mom chauffeur her around.

  "Are you wearing the thong?" Frances asked as my mom drove away. I had to admit, there was something to be said for having parents who believed in trust and honesty. It was against their code of ethics to ban me from a party, because that would imply they didn't trust me, which, in turn, would force me into the very behaviors they were hoping to avoid. So, by allowing me free rein, they were ensuring that I would make all the right choices.

  Which, I had to admit, was probably true. I wasn't exactly a raging social butterfly. Though, with any luck, that would all change after tonight's party.

  "Yep." I pulled the green lace strap out of my jeans to show Frances. "Got it on." It wasn't actually that uncomfortable, and I felt completely risqué. Would everyone at the party know I was wearing a thong? They would once I changed into my tight skirt. No panty line means thong.

  My heart was racing!

  We stopped in a yard two doors down from the party, where Natalie pulled off her tights and I changed from my jeans into my skirt. My sweater ended up in my backpack, to reveal the spandex top I'd borrowed from Allie. Of course, Allie hadn't had to worry about her mom censoring her outfit when she left, and Frances wasn't about to change out of her jeans. So once Natalie and I had relocated our clothes to our bags and shoved our bags under a bush, we were ready.

  For men.

  At Allie's insistence I led the way up the walk. After all, it was my party.

  My party. Could you even believe it? I got an invite to a party with seniors. On my own. Without Louisa. Without Theo…not that he'd invite his little sister to a party, if he could help it.

  And I was wearing a thong.

  I was so worthy of high school.

  I stopped on the front porch. I'd planned to ring the doorbell, but the front door was open and I could hear party noise coming from inside. "Do I just go in?" I whispered to Allie, who was much more an expert on parties than the rest of us.

  "Yep." But she was standing behind me, making no move to be the first one. "Go ahead."

  Go ahead. Had she turned into a total wimp?

  But I could do this.

  I was wearing a thong.

  So I grabbed the screen door, yanked it open, and marched inside, not waiting to see if my friends followed.

  My first high school party.

  This rocked.

  CHAPTER SIX

  I followed the sound of blasting music and rowdy laughter to the back of the house. There were at least fifty people hanging out in the kitchen and the back porch, with dark lights and very hot dancing going on in the family room.

  Whoa.

  This was something else.

  I stopped and got bumped from behind by one of my friends, no doubt as much in awe as I was, probably gawking at the sexy displays on the dance floor instead of noticing that I'd stopped walking.

  A couple people glanced toward me, but unfortunately, since I'd been at only the one rehearsal this week, no one recognized me. The rest of the week they'd been working on the dance numbers, of which I was not a part.

  So the entire cast had been bonding all week and I'd missed it.

  And now I felt like an idiot because no one here knew me. They probably thought I was just some random freshman who'd crashed their party. In about one second, someone was going to come up to me and ask me to leave.

  No need. I'd save them the effort.

  I'd just turned around to herd my friends out of there when a heavy hand came down on my shoulder. My stomach dropped, and I turned, prepared to be utterly humiliated as I was tossed out the door on my thonged butt.

  Oh, my gosh. It was Heath. "Heath," I choked out, half expecting him to throw me out too.

  But he smiled. "Glad you could make it, Blue." I watched his eyes travel over my outfit, and he nodded. "Looking good."

  Looking good. He thought I was looking good!

  Oh.

  My.

  God.

  Did he know I was wearing a thong?

  Then he slung his arm over my shoulder and led me toward the kitchen, introducing me to various people as "the girl who plays my mother." Everyone was super friendly and congratulated me on the part. It was truly amazing what being associated with a guy like Heath could do for one's social acceptance.

  And he never took his arm off my shoulder. It was like I was his girlfriend. Like he was telling everyone there that I was with him.

  It had to be the thong.

  Tomorrow I was going to go buy about a hundred more and wear them every day for the rest of my life. Or at least until I was married and no longer trying to attract boys.

  Heath lifted me onto the counter, then leaned next to me, his hip against my thigh. We were chatting with someone, but I really couldn't concentrate on what anyone was saying, because all I could think about was Heath. He wasn't talking to me, but his hip was burning my skin.

  My skirt, already too short for my mom's approval, was hiked up by the fact that I was sitting on the counter, showing more than half my thigh.


  Normally I'd be totally embarrassed, but I could see Heath's gaze flicking occasionally to my leg, so I decided that I liked my hem right where it was.

  Then he put his hand on my knee.

  On my knee! My knee was bare. His skin was touching my skin! It's a good thing I wasn't standing, because my legs were shaking so much I'd never be able to support myself.

  He started rubbing his thumb over my knee. I glanced at his face, but he wasn't looking at me, just nodding in response to something someone said, as if he had no idea his hand was on my knee and creeping up my thigh!

  Holy cow!

  Was I supposed to let him do this? We were in public, for heaven's sake. Would people think I was a slut? Or was this cool?

  I glanced frantically around the room. Allie was in the corner wrapped around some guy, but Frances and Natalie were watching me. When they saw me look at them, they gave me the thumbs-up and big grins.

  Okay, so maybe this was all right.

  "Want to dance?" he asked me.

  "What?" Oh, nice. Could I sound a little more panicked?

  Heath grinned and trailed his fingers through my hair, which was behaving incredibly well, by the way. "A slow song just came on. Want to dance?"

  Did I want to dance?

  Yes and no.

  Yes, because I liked him so much I could hardly stand it.

  No, because I was terrified.

  A slow dance? With a senior? Would he be expecting something from me? I didn't even know how to kiss! He'd instantly know I was a bumbling idiot.

  Not bothering to wait for my answer, Heath moved in front of me, set his hands on my hips, and lifted me off the counter, letting me down slowly, easing me down the front of him.

  My face felt so hot it surely had to be flaming red.

  Then he took my hand and led me across the kitchen to the family room. Where the lights were out. And music was blaring.

  There was sweat dripping between my shoulder blades. So sexy. Total diva. Not.

  I glanced over my shoulder at Natalie and Frances, but they were both talking to a couple guys and not noticing me at all. And Allie? I couldn't see her anywhere.

  Until I got on the dance floor.

  She was in the middle of the room, in the midst of a heavy make out session. His hands were on her back, under her shirt, and her fingers were entwined in his hair.

  She made it look so easy.

  Heath smiled at me, then slipped his hands around my waist and pulled me against him. My hands. Where should my hands go? I definitely didn't prepare adequately for this event. I glanced around the room and noticed that most girls had their hands around the guy's neck and they were resting their cheek against his chest.

  Fine.

  No problem.

  But the moment I settled my hands behind Heath's neck, he tightened his grip on me and pulled me flush against him. So tight that his body was pressed against me all the way from my hips to my cheek, which was nestled against his chest.

  Relax, Blue.

  I took a deep breath and caught a whiff of his aftershave. Oh, wow. He smelled just as good as he had onstage that night. I sighed and burrowed my face against his chest. He was so warm, so strong, so solid.

  This was perfect.

  "Glad you came tonight," he said, his breath hot against my neck.

  "Me, too." Now, Allie would probably tell me to play it cool, but why would I do that? I liked him; he obviously liked me. Why play games? That seemed sort of silly.

  Then he kissed my neck.

  Wow.

  Wow.

  Wow.

  It was like hot chocolate flowed through my body, warming my insides, turning them into gel. The one-second kiss with Billy Smith behind the swing set when we were both twelve didn't feel anything like this, and Heath hadn't even kissed me yet.

  Yet.

  Was he going to?

  He kissed my neck again, then trailed his lips along my skin to my earlobe, where he nibbled for a moment.

  Thank heaven he was holding me so tightly, because my legs were never going to support me.

  Then he loosened his grip on me and leaned back. "Blue."

  I lifted my face to his. "What?"

  He got this sort of dopey look on his face, and his eyes went half-mast, and then he started coming toward me.

  And I knew: he was going to kiss me. I mean, really kiss me, open mouth, tongue, the whole nine yards.

  He was coming closer.

  And closer.

  How did one kiss properly? I had no clue—and he was about to find that out. He'd think I was such a baby, not even knowing how to kiss. No way could I handle his ridicule or his disdain.

  His lips were only an inch from mine and his eyes were closed.

  Argh!

  Total panic!

  "I gotta go. I'll see you at rehearsal this week." I wrenched myself out of his arms and ran across the dance floor. Okay, I didn't exactly run. I walked fast, but somehow managed to keep enough dignity not to sprint. I grabbed Allie's wrist on the way by, untangling her from her pretzel twisting, and picked up Natalie and Frances, who were standing with their mouths hanging open.

  As we disappeared around the corner, I paused long enough to look back at Heath. He was standing where I'd left him, staring at me. He was too far away to see his face, but I had no doubt it was riddled with disgust that he'd wasted a moment on me.

  This was the worst night of my life.

  * * *

  No one said a word until Natalie and I had changed back into our mom-approved clothes and I'd called my mom to come pick us up. Even the first use of my new cell phone didn't feel very exciting because I was so depressed. We sat on the curb two blocks over from the party under a streetlight in silence.

  "I ruined it," I said. It hurt even to bring it up. I hugged my knees to my chest and prayed that no one from the party would walk by and see me sitting. I could only imagine what they'd all been saying about me after I'd bolted.

  "Tell us what happened," said Allie, who didn't seem mad I'd pulled her from that guy. But that was Allie. Guys came and went with her so fast she didn't even need to bother to learn their names.

  "I freaked." The cement curb was hard and cold against my butt, like I was getting a kick in the pants for being such a dork. I had already changed back into my jeans and sweater, back into the real Blue, the one that had reared her ugly head at the party. The thong and the makeup and the sexy clothes had not kept my dorkiness at bay, which completely sucked.

  "We noticed that," Natalie said. "But what happened? It looked like it was going well."

  "He was about to kiss me." I could still see his mouth coming toward mine, like this giant shark about to swallow my head right up, teeth and all.

  "And…?" Even Frances was interested. Usually she said boys and dating were boring, but she was definitely fascinated by my apparent inability to have a functioning brain when I was with a guy I liked.

  I groaned and pressed my face into my knees. "I ran away," I mumbled.

  "Before he kissed you?" Natalie asked.

  "Of course before."

  "Why?" Allie asked. "That's the best part."

  "Because I don't know how to kiss like that! He would have known instantly that I was clueless, been disgusted, and walked away!"

  "So you put him on The Ledge instead of vice versa." Allie handed me a tube of lip gloss. "Try this. You need to clean up before your mom gets here."

  "No, I didn't put him on the Ledge I made a total fool of myself and convinced him not to waste time with me." I flopped back on the sidewalk, not even caring that dirt was grinding into my sweater. What did it matter? I was never showing my face in public again. I draped my arms over my face and tried to pretend I didn't exist.

  "I think you're wrong." Allie tapped the lip gloss against her chin, staring thoughtfully across the street at a man walking his German Shepherd.

  Something about Allie's tone caught my interest, and I dragged my arm off my
face so I could peek at her. "What do you mean? Wrong about what?"

  "Well, you were all sexy and hot tonight, and Heath was totally into you, right?"

  "If you say so." I rather liked her assessment of the evening, however, and yeah, he'd seemed pretty into me.

  "So just when he thought he had you, you ditched him."

  I groaned. "Don't remind me."

  "No, no!" Allie grabbed my arm before I could bury my face in my arms again. "It's good! Now he's wondering whether you actually like him or not. He's got one foot on The Ledge, and that's going to keep his interest. If you like a guy, you never, ever, ever kiss him on the first date. That's the fastest way to get him not to call you again."

  "You kiss boys all the time," Natalie pointed out.

  "But I don't like them," she said, as if that made sense. "If I liked them, it would be totally different. I'd never kiss a boy I like, not at first."

  I stared at her. "That sounds strange."

  "Of course it is," Allie agreed. "Boys are strange. They like a challenge, though, and that's what you gave him."

  I pursed my lips. Was Allie right? Had I not totally blown it?

  "Blue, you've put your first guy on The Ledge. Heath is standing there in the wind, peering down at Storrow Drive, wondering how much he needs his spleen. His darling Blue, leaving him in the middle of the dance floor. What's a boy to do?"

  I giggled. "That's what he's thinking?"

  "Yep. And you can bet he'll come find you first thing at your next rehearsal together. Just to check in and make sure you don't hate him." Allie grinned. "Louisa would be proud."

  "I'm proud," Natalie said.

  "Me, too." Frances nodded her head.

  "Congratulations, Blue," Allie said. "You are now a woman."

  A woman, huh?

  A guy on The Ledge and a thong riding up my bum. Who'd have guessed?

  * * *

  "So you have rehearsal tomorrow night?" Allie was sitting on the feed bin, swinging her feet, while Natalie and Frances lounged on the pile of horse blankets in the corner. I was sweeping the floor, because Mom had told me that Colin couldn't make it today.