Barefoot

by Ruth Patterson

  ‘Meeting Mum outside the entrance at nine,’ the last one read.

  Then in capitals Lauren had added,

  ‘DON’T PANIC. WE WON’T LEAVE WITHOUT YOU!’

  *************

  ‘I don’t want a huge fuss.’ It was her big day and Toni wished she hadn’t told her father to surprise her. He had taken her totally seriously, and all she knew was the bare minimum. That B was helping him organise it. She had been pushed out of the cottage more than once while they had their planning meetings.

  ‘I hope you haven’t invited loads of people.’ Toni was getting ready and her aunt was hovering. ‘You know how much I hate crowds.’

  ‘Just family and a few close friends,’ B promised.

  Toni put on her new outfit and began to blow-dry her hair.

  ‘Here. Let me straighten it for you,’ B fussed.

  ‘No. It’s fine. I like it natural.’

  ‘You look gorgeous.’

  ‘Sure?’ There was no full-length mirror in the cottage, so Toni had to trust her.

  ‘Positive. I can’t believe you’ve grown up.’

  Toni couldn’t quite believe it either. She didn’t feel any different. She had desperately wanted to be sixteen, and for one reason only. So Cal would stop seeing her as a kid.

  She fingered the silver horse necklace. She hadn’t taken it off all the time he had been away. Only one more week and he would be back. And she still didn’t know how she really felt.

  B looked at her watch. ‘I think we better get moving.’

  Toni tried to pull herself together and followed her downstairs. Her aunt was dressed from top to toe in bright orange, and had a large silk flower pinned to her already large chest. She wouldn’t lose her at least.

  Whatever she felt, B and her father had put a lot of money and effort into the evening.

  The least I can do is to look as if I’m enjoying it.

  Her father was waiting in the sitting room, jangling his car keys. ‘You look absolutely beautiful.’

  Toni blushed. ‘So now do I get to know where we’re going?’ she asked.

  ‘Wait and see.’ Her father seemed unusually nervous, and on impulse she leant over and gave him a kiss. ‘Thanks, Dad.’

  ‘What for?’

  ‘Everything. The whole of the past year. Letting me live with you. Getting a local job. Keeping Buster.’

  ‘I wouldn’t have it any other way. Come on. We don’t want to keep everyone waiting.’

  They headed out onto the bypass in the direction of Cheltenham, then, after twenty minutes, turned off onto country lanes. Finally the car slowed to a halt in front of an imposing set of electric gates.

  ‘It’s Tarling House.’ Toni sat up in awe. ‘I can’t believe it. This place is sooooo expensive.’

  ‘You’re sixteen and it’s special,’ her father edged the car forwards as the gates opened. He was delighted by her response, she could tell. The driveway was over half a mile long, a graceful avenue of lime trees, with horses grazing the fields on either side. As they pulled up outside the Jacobean manor house, the manager stepped forward to open the door for them.

  ‘The birthday girl, I assume,’ he smiled in welcome. ‘The other guests are in the conservatory, sir, if you would like to follow me.’ He swept them through a cosy sitting room and on into a dining room, where a long table was laid for dinner.

  Toni could hear the crowd of people gathered in the conservatory at one end, and began to feel increasingly freaked out. ‘Wait!’ She pulled on her father’s sleeve.

  He paused and turned. ‘Hey, what’s up?’

  The manager paused, too, standing discreetly to one side.

  Toni peered into the conservatory. ‘B said just family and a few close friends. There must be forty at least!’

  ‘Close,’ he admitted.

  She groaned. ‘I hate being the centre of attention. You know I do.’

  ‘Come and see this.’ He led her over to the table instead and there, in the middle was a beautiful cake in the shape of a horse’s head with Happy Birthday iced on it.’

  Her eyes widened. ‘It’s fabulous!’

  ‘Your mother ordered it.’

  Toni felt at sea. ‘She’s here?’

  He nodded, cautious now. ‘It’s your sixteenth birthday. Where else do you think she would be?’

  She sat down for a moment on the closest dining chair and he put an arm round her again. ‘It just never occurred to me she’d be here, that’s all.’

  ‘I know it’s been a tough year.’

  ‘I don’t think I can forgive her, Dad.’

  ‘I’m not asking you to. But let her be here. Just for tonight. Nola and Gramps have flown over specially.’

  Toni felt the battle raging inside her. She looked at the beautiful table decorations she knew her aunt would have put so much effort into choosing. The helium balloons bobbing on the ceiling, each emblazoned with a big number sixteen.

  She could do it for B.

  She could do it for her father.

  She could do it for her grandparents.

  Toni stood up and took his arm. The manager sprang back to life, looking incredibly relieved, and led the way on into the conservatory, where a waiter rushed over and handed out glasses of champagne. All the guests burst into applause.

  Toni stood with a smile fixed to her face, as people rushed over to congratulate her, and tried to scan the crowd at the same time. She spotted Arabella immediately, standing apart from everyone else alongside her grandparents. Her dark hair was scraped back and she was dressed completely in black.

  As if she’s at a funeral, not a party.

  Toni sighed. She would have to go and talk to them, of course. But later. Jen raised a glass from across the room and smiled. But somebody else was touching Toni’s arm, demanding her attention and she turned.

  There in front of her, looking incredibly uncomfortable in a suit, stood Cal.

  ‘Oh, my God!’ Toni struggled to take it in. The room grew quieter and she sensed people were watching, seeing how she would react.

  Cal grinned. His skin was even more weatherbeaten than before, and his brown eyes sparkled.

  ‘You’re back. And you look ...’ She couldn’t find the words.

  The same and not the same.

  ‘You look different,’ she said in the end.

  He pulled a face. ‘Your aunt bullied me into a suit.’

  Toni laughed, in spite of herself. ‘Hey, you don’t have to explain. I survived one of her shopping trips.’

  ‘You look fantastic though. I love the new hair. Suits you.’

  He held her gaze and Toni blushed. She wanted him to wrap her in his arms and hold her as he had in the New Forest. That’s all she could think. For everyone else in the room to cease to exist.

  But then she remembered the long, lonely weeks without him and was determined he wasn’t going to win her round so easily. She stepped away from him fractionally. ‘You sound different, too.’

  ‘It’s easy to pick up the accent over there.’

  ‘How long have you been back?’

  Cal looked at his watch. ‘About four hours.’

  How long are you staying?

  He looked a bit worried when she didn’t speak again. ‘I’m your birthday surprise, Toni.’

  So this was the big surprise. Not the hotel, or Arabella being there, or her grandparents, or even the cake.

  Cal.

  She noticed her father whispering to B, both of them keeping a worried eye on her at the same time.

  ‘So ... is it a good surprise?’ He moved towards her. Closing the gap.

  Toni had no idea what to say. She so many mixed-up feelings. She turned and fled through a side door, leading out onto a terrace. It was freezing outside and she began to shiver instantly.

  ‘What the hell is that boy doing here?’ Arabella’s voice rang out, and this time the room really did go quiet.

  Cal, who had started to follow Toni, stopped in the do
orway and turned back. She could see Nola, with her hand on Arabella’s arm, trying to stop her. But her mother shrugged her off and limped towards them.

  Toni’s father followed her quickly. ‘Not now, Bella. I invited him, alright? I decided it was time we gave him a chance.’

  ‘No, it is not alright.’ She pushed him to one side and glared at Cal. ‘When will you get the message? You are not welcome in Antonia’s life.’

  Cal held her gaze steadily. ‘Toni’s sixteen now. I think she can make her own decision about that.’

  ‘She doesn’t know what’s best for her.’ Arabella turned to Toni’s father. ‘I’ve been patient long enough, Stephen. It’s time she stopped messing around and came home, got on with what she’s meant to be doing.’

  ‘And what is that, exactly?’ Cal asked.

  Arabella swung back to him. ‘She needs to compete.’

  ‘And what if she doesn’t want to?’ Cal challenged her.

  ‘Stop it. All of you!’ Toni was shaking. ‘This is me you’re all talking about. My life. And it’s my party you’re ruining.’

  All three of them stopped talking.

  Toni looked from Arabella, to her father, then back to Cal. ‘I’ll decide what’s best for me. No one else.’ She marched away across the terrace and on into the garden. The grass was muddy and the silly party shoes B had made her buy kept sinking in. She kicked them off in frustration and the cold wet grass soaked her feet immediately.

  ‘Well?’ Cal’s voice came from behind her, impatient now.

  ‘What do you expect?’ Toni refused to look at him. Then all the pent-up anger of the past weeks welled up. ‘Did you think I would simply throw my arms round you?’

  She could sense him close.

  Feel the heat.

  ‘I booked an earlier flight. As soon as your dad got in touch,’ he said, softly.

  Toni turned to face him again. ‘You ran out on me, Cal.’

  ‘No,’ he shook his head. ‘I didn’t. I ran out on my family.’

  ‘Well, it felt like you ran out on me.’

  ‘I’m sorry.’ He sounded defensive now. ‘I did try to keep in touch.’

  ‘Online? It’s not the same as seeing somebody, is it?’

  He gazed at her, intensely now. ‘No, it’s not. I tried to talk to you so many times before I left. You were the one who wouldn’t.’

  Having him so near made it difficult to breathe.

  ‘You’re wearing my necklace. It suits you.’ He leant closer and touched it. His brown eyes were liquid.

  She was so close to forgiving him. ‘Thanks for standing up to Arabella.’

  ‘It seems to me you’ve been doing a good job of standing up to her all by yourself.’

  Toni had to know. ‘Are you home to stay?’

  Please say yes.

  He hesitated. ‘It’s amazing out there, Toni. All that space. And the horses. You wouldn’t believe it.’

  ‘So you’re going back,’ she said flatly.

  ‘Only if you come with me.’

  She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

  ‘What about Dad? Buster and Grace?’ Toni’s mind raced with the idea. ‘School?’

  ‘For a holiday at least. See what it’s like. I want to share it with you.’

  Toni didn’t know what to say. Over his shoulder she could see B standing in the doorway, waving frantically.

  ‘They want me inside.’

  Cal pushed his hands in his pockets. ‘OK, you go on in. I’ll head off. This isn’t really my scene anyway.’

  ‘No, wait a minute. Dont you dare leave me again.’ She felt angry now. ‘You fly all the way back here, and now you’re just going to walk away? If I go back in, you come back in with me.’

  They glared at each other for a moment, then he grinned. ‘Well you’re the star guest, aren’t you? So I guess I’d better do what you say.’

  What was it Lauren had said? ‘Always concentrate on the good stuff.’

  He came back specially for my sixteenth.

  Toni touched the silver necklace.

  He cares.

  She held out her hand. Cal smiled and reached out and took it. Then they walked back into the party, side by side.

  Her aunt was hovering just inside the door, looking apologetic. ‘I’m sorry to interrupt. Really. It’s just ... ’ Her eyes widened when she saw Toni’s feet. She waved the piece of paper she was clutching. ‘There’s a schedule, you see. We should be sitting down to lunch at one.’

  ‘And what happens after that?’ Cal asked, seriously.

  Toni hid a smile as B consulted her list. ‘Cake cutting, at two-thirty. Then a surprise.’

  Another one.

  She took them over to the long table and looked at the place names.

  ‘You’re sitting over here.’ B led Cal away, round to the other side of the table, then positioned him next to Gramps. It could be worse, Toni thought. At least they could talk about horses. Arabella was on one side of Toni, her father on the other. Poor B must have had sleepless nights working the table plan out.

  Lauren appeared opposite, to take the seat the other side of Cal, and gave Toni a thumbs-up with a huge grin.

  Toni texted her immediately.

  ‘Did u know he was coming?’

  Lauren took her phone out of her pocket and looked at it, then shook her head madly. ‘No way!’ she mouthed.

  Nola leant forward over the table and grasped Toni’s hand before sitting down. ‘Happy birthday, darling.’

  Toni realised she was actually pleased to have her there. ‘Thanks for coming.’

  ‘My pleasure.’ Nola sat down and turned to talk to Gramps.

  The next hour and a half passed painfully slowly. B hovered and fussed throughout, never actually seeming to sit down or eat at all. The food was delicious but, on Toni’s side of the table at least, the tension was palpable.

  She watched Cal and Lauren laughing and chatting and felt irrationally jealous. She’d hardly had time to talk to Cal at all, or to work out what she wanted.

  Arabella picked at her food, and made little attempt at conversation, glaring at Cal instead. It didn’t seem to bother him, if he noticed at all. But Toni knew her mother only too well.

  Once an enemy. Always an enemy.

  Her father over-compensated and chatted away, but sitting between them still felt pretty excruciating. Her wet feet were freezing and she was relieved when it was finally time to cut the cake.

  Two-thirty precisely, she noticed. B would be relieved. Toni stood up to blow out the candles and everyone applauded, then her aunt called for silence.

  ‘You may have noticed the balloons in the conservatory.’ She beamed round the table. This was her moment. ‘We would like you all to write down a blessing for Toni’s future.’ A collective buzz went round the room. ‘The plan is to tie it to a balloon, and then we’ll go outside and release them all.’

  ‘What a lovely idea!’ Nola said, as B began to hand out pens and pieces of card.

  ‘Do I get to write one, too?’ Toni whispered to her father.

  He smiled. ‘It’s your party.’

  Faced with a blank piece of white card, she tried to imagine her future. What did she want in it?

  Dad.

  Buster.

  Grace.

  No!

  Toni suddenly had a revelation and jumped up, startling her father. ‘Back in a minute,’ she whispered, and, running down to the end of the table, she knelt next to Jen.

  ‘Would you like to take Grace?’

  Jen looked stunned. ‘You’ve been drinking too much.’

  ‘No, I haven’t. I’m serious. I think you two are a perfect match.’

  Jen was amazed. ‘You mean have her? For good?’

  ‘Yes.’

  Jen took a swig from the glass in front of her. ‘It’s weird. All these years I’ve never wanted a horse of my own. But you’re right. I feel differently about her.’

  Toni’s eyes filled with tear
s. ‘You’re meant to have her, Jen. I just know you are.’

  Jen took another mouthful of champagne. ‘OK. You’re on.’