Land of My Dreams

by Norma Gail

  He pulled her toward the window and wasn’t disappointed with her response to the view. “Oh, Kieran, it’s amazing.”

  “I told Mother you would love this room. Mine is right next door.”

  The rugged cliffs rising up behind the house weren’t obvious from the front. Forest, mountains, and a picturesque round tower frosted with wet, heavy snow created an irresistible charm. Watching her face light up as she drank in the beauty of his family home, he expected to have a bride before the week was out.

  Margaret MacKenzie MacDonell was still an attractive woman. At sixty-five, she possessed a grace and depth of presence few women ever acquire. Her world revolved around her God, her husband, and her son.

  The busy life of overseeing one of the premier bed and breakfast establishments in the Highlands energized her. Thanks to her well-trained staff, she was free to serve as a gracious hostess. Visitors traveled from around Scotland to attend high teas at the Heather Hill Inn.

  One thing Maggie hadn’t anticipated was her son falling in love with an American. Holding back tears, she located Hamish in the kitchen. “I can’t do this. We’ll lose our son. At the expense of breaking his heart again, I want her to go back home.”

  He drew her close and smoothed her hair. “Maggie, mo bhean, he’s a grown man who’s suffered more pain than most people do in a lifetime. If there’s any possibility for him to find happiness, we must support him.” He bent and kissed her forehead. “You can, and you will.”

  “I’ll put up with it, but I won’t be happy.” She wiped her tears on her apron.

  He put a finger under her chin, forcing her to meet his eyes. “You will if he’s happy. Let him make his own decisions.”

  “And if we lose him?” She located a tissue in the bottom of her apron pocket, wiped her eyes, and blew her nose.

  He leaned over, whispering in her ear. “We won’t lose him.”

  “But …”

  He stroked her hair back from her face. “He’s a grown man, middle-aged. You once said you’d have a difficult time sharing your only son with any woman, but you and Bronwyn had an ideal relationship.”

  “After I got to know her.”

  “Give Bonny the same opportunity, love. You prayed for God to rescue him from his loneliness, and He has. You wanted him in church and he’s there. She’s lost everyone. Let’s give her a family Christmas. It’s wiser to win her with honey than to alienate them both with harsh words.”

  “You force me to see everything in a different light, don’t you?” She gave him a mischievous shove. “Now, let me finish preparing the tea. I’ll do my best, but it won’t be easy.”

  “Thank you, mo gràdh.” With a lighthearted swat on the bahooky, he went into the parlor to build up the fire.

  “I’ll try, but it won’t be easy.”

  “I’ll give you the tour later.” Putting his hand on her back, Kieran escorted Bonny downstairs for tea.

  Hamish stood when they entered the room. “Ceud mile failte, caud mile failte, a hundred, thousand welcomes, Bonny.” He motioned to a chair next to him. “Here, next to me. Maggie rushed you inside so fast, I didn’t have a proper chance to greet you.”

  Bonny knew she and Hamish had made an immediate connection. A large, strong man, though smaller than Kieran, both father and son shared great similarities in voice and appearance. She looked twenty-five years into the future, recognizing Kieran in the large, calloused hands and jolly laugh. His coloring came from his mother. Maggie’s hair was snow white now, but her deep blue eyes were the same. Being part of a family for Christmas felt good.

  Bonny turned from one to the other. “It means so much to spend Christmas in your lovely home. Thank you.”

  “It’s our privilege, lass,” Hamish reassured her.

  “You must miss your home at Christmas,” Maggie said. “Your offer to fix a dinner intrigues me, but I question whether it’s due to homesickness.”

  Bonny noted blue sparks flying between the matching eyes of mother and son.

  “Yes, I am.” Bonny recognized a test. “This is the first time I’ve been away from home at Christmas. My parents have been gone such a short time that I miss them very much. Kieran suggested the dinner, and I wanted a special way to thank you for your hospitality. I’d like to show you something about my home. New Mexico has some very unique traditions, and Kieran thought it would be fun for me to share them.”

  “We look forward to it.” Hamish laid a hand on Maggie’s arm. “Don’t we, my love?”

  Following tea, Kieran began their tour at the front door. Ancient family portraits of the MacKenzies dotted the deep red wallpaper rising to a high vaulted ceiling. A large, round table boasted a huge floral display, and Bonny walked over to get a closer look.

  “What an impressive flower arrangement.” She leaned closer, inhaling the sweet aroma of a large, white rose.

  Kieran put an arm around her waist. “Mother designs and creates them herself. You should ask to see her greenhouse.”

  An unusual combination of red poinsettias, white roses, pine boughs, and holly, the mixture of roses and pine together gave off a sweet, tangy scent she found irresistible. Bonny inhaled the fragrant perfume again. “She’s talented. It’s one of the most striking and unique arrangements I’ve ever seen.” Perhaps the way into Maggie’s good graces was by complimenting her talents.

  The table stood against the backdrop of a wide, curving staircase, its banister draped in holly. An ornate stained glass window on the landing let in colored light, and the old wood floors shone from years of traffic and scrubbing. Double doors led to a large parlor filled with fine antiques and a massive white plaster fireplace. On the opposite side of the foyer was a dining room with a table of such massive proportions it seated thirty people at once.

  Kieran refused to take her down one hallway. “We’ll go there another day. It’s special.” He pointed out the window where big, wet flakes of snow whirled in the wind. Not even the nearby barn was visible. “We’ll put off the tour of the grounds until tomorrow.”

  Bonny snuggled under the fluffy down comforter later that night, conscious of the single wall separating her from Kieran. She had already caught glimpses of the faith he was raised with in the blessing his father said before the meal and his mother’s promise to attend the Christmas Eve service whether or not the snow let up.

  “Lord,” she prayed, “please help Kieran return to his faith in you. Then I can have peace in my heart. Please cause him to change before he asks me to marry him. You know my heart’s desire. I’ll need your strength if I’m to refuse him.”

  She heard the bed next door creaking from time to time. She quivered, remembering the obvious longing in his eyes and hoping that he sensed her unspoken desires as they discussed home and family.

  At last, aware of the slight snoring from the next room, she fell asleep, dreaming of dancing in his arms, a diamond sparkling on her finger.

  At breakfast, Kieran announced plans to help Hamish with odd jobs around the house. Helping himself to more scrambled eggs and haggis, he glanced at Maggie. “Why don’t you and Bonny spend the time getting better acquainted, Mother?”

  Understanding his intent, Bonny said, “I heard you mention baking, Maggie. I want to help however I can.”

  When the men headed for the basement, she carried the dishes to Bridget, the Inn’s cook. There was a marked resemblance between Maggie’s cook and her mother, Kieran’s housekeeper.

  Maggie brought out her cookbooks. Pouring more tea, she handed a cup to Bonny. “Before we do the baking, I think we need to get to know one another.”

  “Thank you.” Bonny accepted the cup. “Kieran and Eleanor say wonderful things about you and Hamish.”

  Maggie’s smile looked stiff and unnatural. “I’m concerned because your home is so far away. While I can’t ignore the changes in my son, the difference in your backgrounds concerns me.”

  “It’s surprising to learn how much we do have in common.” Taken aback
by Maggie’s abrupt approach, Bonny was determined to remain positive. “I assure you, my heart and home will be with the man I love, wherever he is.”

  Maggie appeared to ignore her. “This house has belonged to my family for generations. It’s not a castle or large country manor, but I grew up here. I would like it to remain in the family. Though I doubt Kieran will keep the inn open, I love sharing it with others.”

  This topic was one Bonny could respond to with enthusiasm. “Both of your homes are beautiful. I fell in love with the farm, the sheep, the loch, and the mountains.”

  Maggie’s smile showed genuine satisfaction and perhaps pride. “I love it, too. As you can imagine, living so far away from town was an adjustment, and an agricultural life is not an easy one. However, it’s been gratifying to watch Kieran work the farm.”

  Bonny met Maggie’s eyes, hoping to convey her agreement. “Kieran’s heritage and his passion for the lands he will inherit is something I respect very much.”

  “Great responsibilities accompany both properties. The Inn and sheep farm must be different from anything you’ve experienced. They will prevent him from spending large amounts of time away.” Maggie’s voice carried a warning tone, which made Bonny uncomfortable.

  “Yes, I understand.” Her eyes locked with Maggie’s in a challenge.

  Maggie continued her narrative. “As for me, my day begins and ends on my knees and in the word of God, and Hamish likewise. Kieran did the same until the deaths of Bronwyn and the baby. He still struggles, I think.” She poured herself another cup of tea.

  “I start and end each day with my time in God’s word. But not so long ago, I was struggling just like Kieran is.” Bonny held out her cup as Maggie offered more tea. “We read a passage from Psalms or Proverbs after dinner. He’s trying since he’s been going to church with Janet and me.”

  “Thank you. I’m pleased he’s attending church again.” She met Bonny’s eyes with a nod of gratitude.

  Bonny dropped a cube of sugar into the fine china cup, stirring it with a demitasse spoon. “I’m looking forward to attending church with you on Christmas Eve. My favorite memories of Christmas include church with my parents.”

  “We attend Christmas Eve service as a family, except for the Christmases Kieran spent in Glasgow. Then, he and Bronwyn came here for Hogmanay, your New Year’s Eve.”

  Bonny latched onto the family theme. “I know your family is very close. Having lost my own, that’s important to me. I appreciate you allowing me to spend Christmas with you.”

  “I want you to enjoy your time here.” Maggie poured another cup, inhaling it’s aroma with a pleasure peculiar to someone with an expertise in tea.

  “Kieran and I plan to share our music from the Christmas program with you. We enjoy singing together. I think it helped him decide to join me at church.” She made eye contact with Maggie. “I fell away for a time when I lost my loved ones also. I’ve learned that the single answer to the ‘whys’ in life is God’s sovereignty. Being in Scotland, away from everything familiar, helped me take a new look at my situation. Whatever happens between us, I pray for Kieran to return to the Lord. A heart as tender as his heals slowly.”

  The surprise on Maggie’s face convinced Bonny she had scored. “I’m glad you recognize those qualities, considering the short time you’ve known each other.”

  At last she discovered common ground. “From the first evening together, we’ve talked into the wee hours of the morning. We understand each other and are discovering how much we agree on.”

  Maggie’s voice grew softer. “Thank you. If it’s not too forward, are you in love with my Kieran?”

  Bonny didn’t hesitate. “Yes, I am.”

  “I pray you both listen for God’s wisdom. Love can blind you to potential problems. I do see changes in him, and I appreciate you encouraging that change.” Maggie stood, her hand brushing Bonny’s shoulder. “Now, we must get to our baking or the men will come upstairs and ask what we’ve been doing.”

  Handing Bonny the recipe for Kieran’s favorite shortbread, Maggie began on Hamish’s favorite macaroons while Bridget made Scottish Tablet, a candy that was new to Bonny. With her cookies in the oven, Bonny brought out her special Swedish Tea Ring, a Bryant family tradition. “We used to eat it for breakfast, but you can use it however you want.”

  Squaring her shoulders, Maggie accepted it. “We’ll include it with the eggs, black sausage, and haggis, thank you.”

  Delectable smells filling the house drew the men up from the basement in search of sweets and their sweethearts. While taking cookies off the sheet, Bonny found herself wrapped in a warm hug with a soft whisper of, “I love you.”

  She considered the morning a success. In time, she believed it possible to develop a strong relationship with Maggie. The nagging voice in the back of her mind warned her to wait for signs of Kieran’s true faith.

  Chapter Twenty-two: Argument and Opportunity

  The snow had taken a brief respite, though the clouds still hung heavy and dark above the winter-white landscape. Bonny and Kieran put on boots and coats, setting out to explore the grounds. Wrapped in a safe, loving cocoon, they trod through the foot-deep snow in silence.

  On impulse, she bent and formed a snowball while he moved some branches, broken by the weight of the wet snow. When he straightened up, she threw it hard at his back. He turned in surprise, scooping up a handful of snow, and they pelted one another until they fell down laughing. Giggling, Bonny made a snow angel and Kieran followed suit.

  “You made an archangel. It’s huge compared to mine.” She laughed at him, lying like a snowman fallen over in one piece.

  He rolled over, crawling toward her, and pulled her into a snowy hug. “You gave me a fair skelpin’. Where did you learn that, my wee desert rat?”

  “It snows in New Mexico. It’s a desert, but we have real mountains.”

  He kissed the top of her head where it lay in the crook of his arm. “You’re amazing, hen. It’s so lovely to have you here.”

  Lying in the cradle of his arm, she turned her face up to his. “I love you. I also love your homes, both of them, and your parents.”

  “Even my mother?” His blue eyes shone through snowflakes caught in red-gold lashes.

  She brushed the snow off his face with a gloved hand. “Of course your mother. She wants the best for you. I dreaded my first Christmas away from home, but I never expected to find love when I looked for escape.”

  Pulling her up with him, he planted a snowy kiss on her cheek. “I need a lifetime to show how much you’re loved.” He tucked a strand of hair under her cap. “We’ll be drookit. Are you cold?”

  Bonny shook her head. “I’m warm as toast. I want to see the barn. How many horses do you have?”

  “Four, but they’re for the sleigh and carriages, no riding horses.”

  She took his hand, pulling him along.

  “We can ride horses back at the farm, and when you come to Albuquerque someday—”

  The corners of his eyes crinkled, and his face lit up. “I don’t remember you inviting me. Did I miss something?”

  “I—ummm,” she hesitated, her cheeks growing warm in spite of the cold. “You might come sometime.”

  Kieran put his hand under her chin and tilted her face upward. “Perhaps when we’re married?”

  “Kieran …” She buried her face against his chest.

  “It’s possible. We’ve talked around the subject since we met.”

  She stifled a sob as he lifted her face toward his once again. “Why are you cryin’, lass?”

  Bonny hid her face again. “It’s no secret. I’m so confused. If …”

  He stiffened, pulling away. “Confused? What are you doin’ here then? You think we shouldna be married, because we don’t agree about God? You would throw away everything we have together because of one difference? It’s not as if I lied.” His voice rose in pitch as he continued. “And you say you love me? You can stop prayin’ for me too
.”

  “Kieran …”

  He turned, striding toward the house.

  When he looked back, his face flushed more with anger than the cold. “Ach, stop nippin’ my heid, it’s not hard to see why Adam left you. No one meets your standards. I’m done tryin’.” His voice grew harsher, his eyes glinting steel below brows furrowed in fury. “I was wrong to believe we had somethin’ special.”

  “Kieran, please?” She wiped her cheeks with a gloved hand, her heart pounding harder at the mention of Adam.

  “I can’t meet the standard you set. It’s too high.” With a defiant set to his jaw, he turned toward the house.

  “Kieran, I love you.” She ran after him, grabbing his arm.

  He shook her off. “Ach, I’ll not be criticized for the rest of my life. Perhaps you’d prefer someone like Graeme.”

  “Kieran, we can’t ignore this. We have to be of one mind in spiritual matters.” Her heart pounded, and the familiar lump grew in her throat. Is it my fault?

  He called over his shoulder, “I intended to fool you into believin’ I’d changed. Well, I can’t. We will tolerate each other this week for my parents’ sake. When we return to Fort William, we’ll act as if nothin’ happened between us. Go put on dry clothes.”

  She chased after him, her thoughts roiling in panic. “Kieran, wait. I was engaged to one man who lied about being a Christian. Why bother with church and the choir if you feel this way? You promised me the truth.”

  His anger was something new, and his Scottish burr was growing so strong she struggled to understand him. “When we met we agreed. I felt loved for myself. For my parents’ sake, let’s not create a scene over this. At least we found out before we made a mistake.”

  Maggie met them at the kitchen door, glancing from Bonny to Kieran’s anger-reddened face and back again. “Dry off. I’ll bring up tea. You must be freezing.”