Burned

by J. Nichole Parkins

  “No. I’ve got it under control.”

  Instead I flopped onto my couch and snuggled under a blanket, flipping on the television. I didn’t have cable, but I had an endless stream of movie options thanks to the internet. I flipped on a rom-com thinking something lighthearted and funny would be a nice change. Daniel careened over the back of the couch and landed on top of me, making me giggle. How did he do that?

  “Hey. How you doin’?” he asked like Joey from Friends. We had spent last week watching a Friend’s marathon. He had never seen the show before and predictably took an instant liking to the funnyman.

  “Better.” But I dove into his offered hug, grateful for his comfort. I breathed in his scent, holding it deep. It warmed me to my toes. His shudder rocked me to my core.

  “I’m glad you are okay.” His voice broke, but he held it together, squeezing me a little tighter.

  I squeezed him back, unable to speak past the lump that had lodged itself in my throat. After clearing my throat a couple of times I was able to answer him.

  “Me too.”

  He snuggled in behind me pulling the blanket over us both. Turning so he could watch the movie too, he settled me in his arms.

  “What are we watching?”

  I mumbled an answer into the blanket, my cheeks pinking.

  “What? I couldn’t hear you.”

  “10 Things I Hate About You,” I mumbled a little clearer, but just barely.

  “Sweet! I love Julia Stiles and Heath Ledger.” I blinked at him a couple of times. Could he get any more perfect?

  “Oh God. I hate this movie.” Gavin’s voice carried loudly across the room into the kitchen as he shut the door and walked across the living room.

  “What movie?” Spencer called out from the kitchen, the scent of the chicken frying making my mouth water.

  After Gavin repeated the title, I could hear them discussing it. Apparently Spencer didn’t think it was that bad. He liked Heath too. They bantered back and forth for a moment while I gathered myself. Trying to get up the strength to face Gavin after almost killing him.

  “It’s okay.” Daniel kissed my neck behind my ear, tingles spread from the sensitive spot. “He knows.”

  I sighed, grateful for Daniel’s insight. His seemingly endless capacity for love. For forgiveness.

  Kissing me again, he gave me a little push and pulled the blanket back. “Suck it up. Go give him a hug.”

  My limbs trembled with relief. I hadn’t hurt Gavin. It was close, but he was okay. I rushed into the kitchen, suddenly desperate to feel him. Gavin was leaning against the counter, a beer in his hand. Condensation dripping down the bottle onto his fingers. As he shook it off, his eyes met mine across the room. A myriad of emotions flashed across his face, worry, relief, happiness. But none that I was worried I would see. He didn’t hate or fear me.

  I flew across the last few feet that separated us, launching myself into his arms. Surprised, he caught me as I crashed into him, holding me tightly. I felt the trembling relief in his muscles. I pulled back enough to look into his soft brown eyes.

  “I’m so so-sorry.” My voice hitched.

  “I’m sorry I hit you.”

  I laughed, shaking my head. “But that’s what saved both of us.”

  “I know, but I’ve never hit a girl, never would. I just couldn’t think of anything else to stop it, and it was the only way to knock you unconscious.” He kissed the side of my temple where his fist had connected, a slight yellowish bruise was all that remained. As a shifter I healed unnaturally fast, it wouldn’t even be noticeable in a few hours. But I could tell as his thumb caressed the mark that it really bothered him. Here he was worried about a bruise, while I had almost killed him.

  I kissed him instead. Our lips met and held, so gentle. Slow. Reminiscent of how we were as young teenagers so long ago. Before things started to fall apart. My heart was in that kiss, and he felt it, holding me tighter. Cradling my head in his hands like I was priceless, his thumbs gently stroked along my jaw.

  Tears fell and he brushed them away, kissing my eyelids. We would get through this. I felt his determination, his strength. He hadn’t given up on me in all these years, he wouldn’t start now.

  “Let’s-” He had to clear his throat. “Let’s go watch this terrible movie, if it’ll make you happy.”

  “Dinner is finished if you want to eat.” I had forgotten Spencer was even in the kitchen. My face heated and he laughed at my embarrassment. “It’s okay not to be the tough-assed bitch all the time Kyra. We all know how strong you are. You are safe with us.” He winked, dropping a chicken leg on a plate heaped with mashed potatoes and gravy, carrots, and collard greens - or at least that’s what I thought they were. I’d only seen them on TV.

  He pulled a pan of rolls out of the oven. I moaned aloud at the smell.

  Gavin laughed. “How long has it been since you had a home-cooked meal?” Finishing his beer, he cracked open another. Several were missing from the six-pack on the counter.

  I didn’t even have to think about it. “Since Aunt Sue.”

  Gavin’s eyes widened. “Well, don’t let me hold you up. Get to gettin’.” He smacked me on my ass.

  “Hey!” I rubbed the sore spot, my cheeks warming again.

  “This is going to be fun.” I heard Spencer laugh at me around the buttered roll he stuffed in his mouth.

  We ate at the bar, pausing the movie for the time being. Fortunately Spencer had cooked enough for twice as many people because he was feeding two hungry shifters. I devoured everything - even the collards - which were a little bitter, but delicious in their own way.

  After we shoved Spencer and Gavin out of the kitchen, Daniel and I washed the dishes. We worked in an easy silence, the clattering of the dishes and the murmur of Gavin and Spencer’s voices the only sounds. It was nice that the two of them seemed to get along decently when they tried. I wish Gavin would lay off Daniel more. I understood it was hard for Gavin, but his constant antagonizing didn’t make this awkward situation any easier.

  Daniel could make even the most innocent boring chore interesting. Never saying a word, he deliberately brushed against my hand or bumped my hip. His fingers trailing fire in their wake. The simple heated touches heightened my awareness; goosebumps broke out along my arms. I licked my lips, anticipating his next move.

  Once the last dish was in the dishwasher, he backed me against the counter a predatory gleam in his eyes. Placing his hands over mine on the edge of the counter, he pushed them behind me. His eyes narrowed, taking in my erratic breathing and hooded eyes. Leaning close, body pressed against mine, he trailed kisses down my neck. Biting in places and then soothing the bite with his tongue. I was on fire, burning for him.

  Unable to touch him since he still held my hands trapped, I pressed harder against him and moaned. We had too many clothes on for my liking. He chuckled against my neck at my responsiveness. His breath tickled the shell of my ear sending another round of shivers down my spine.

  “I hear you’ve been naughty.” His whispered words excited me, inflaming me further.

  “Goddamn it!” Gavin slammed his fist down on the bar, growling. “I can’t leave you two together for a second can I?”

  The anger and underlying hurt in Gavin’s voice was as effective as being doused with cold water. I was so focused on Daniel, I had forgotten where we were.

  Daniel stayed where he was, refusing to release me. I didn’t know what to do. It was uncharacteristic of Daniel to hold his ground.

  Swallowing, I nudged Daniel hoping he’d get the silent request to release me. His eyes swung to mine, frustration and anger swirled in their depths. He didn’t want to let me go. I watch the conflict play out on his face. He was tired of backing down.

  My teeth worried my lower lip. His eyes followed the movement with hooded lids. My blood heated at the want in his gaze. For me. Ignoring everyone else, his lips collided with mine, tongue demanding entrance. He refused to release my hands as
they flexed beneath his, aching to touch him.

  A growl pierced my consciousness and Daniel was ripped away from me. Leaving me panting, my heart racing.

  Gavin had taken up Daniel’s challenge, and the shifter knew he could win, forcing the issue with his considerable physical advantage. Terror held my heart in its grip. He had Daniel backed into the refrigerator, his powerful arm cutting of his air.

  “Gavin lay off!” He looked back at me, his eyes more cat than human. This could end very badly. My stomach rolled and dinner threatened to make a reappearance. Despite his sudden bravado, Daniel was only human and no match for the shifter. Gavin could kill him in a heartbeat. And I’d lose both of them.

  “Gavin, I swear, if you hurt him I’ll never forgive you.” His eyes narrowed and he growled again. “Never.”

  His chest expanded as he took a deep breath, closing his eyes. Slowly his arm dropped from across Daniel’s neck, allowing him to gulp in a deep breath. His face losing the purple hue. Shooting daggers with his eyes, he stared at the shifter who continued to stand in the middle of the kitchen. Gavin stayed with his head down, fists balled at his sides, shaking with the effort to gain control.

  “You don’t like me much do you?” Daniel shakily lit his cigarette, taking a long drag. This was not a good time for Daniel to assert himself in this fucked up relationship.

  “No,” he answered, his growl trembled through is chest.

  Spencer, having heard the commotion, was warily watching the two from the counter. The gun strapped to his side sat unsnapped in his holster.

  I knew it was too good to be true. Our peaceful evening was ruined by the fact that the two of them could not get along.

  “Don’t antagonize him Daniel,” I warned, narrowing my eyes.

  “Why? Because he’s got claws?” he sneered, “I may be just some human, but I’m around worse monsters every day. I don’t need some hick from Wyoming – shifter or not – thinking he’s better than me.” Faster than a human could track Gavin was up and in Daniel’s face again, stopping inches from him.

  “I could kill you without even trying.”

  “Could you?” Daniel flicked his ashes, as he almost casually looked Gavin in the eye. “Killing humans tends to be kind of messy. Are you sure you have the stomach for it, hayseed?” Gavin’s gaze flickered briefly.

  “Ever killed someone before?” he retorted, eyes narrowed. When Gavin’s only response was to tighten his lips, he continued. “No? I didn’t think so. I have a feeling your conscious would get the better of you, just like Mr. Perfect over there.” Spencer’s brows rose when he realized Daniel was referring to him, but he wisely kept silent.

  “Daniel, what the hell are you trying to do?” I sputtered. Of the three of them I figured he was the least likely to make trouble. I pushed between them, a final barrier; my hands on each of their chests. Their hearts beating rapidly under my palms.

  “I’m sick and tired of putting up with his fucking attitude!” Daniel yelled. “He treats me like shit because I’m a mere human, no super powers or anything. I have just as much right to you as he does.”

  Gavin laughed, “No, not just a mere human, you’re coffin bait. It’s disgusting.”

  “Hey, I don’t judge you.” His icy gaze met Gavin’s. “Despite the fact that you are so pussy whipped you look half-way across the country and over - what - seven years to find your teenage girlfriend.” Daniel’s voice dripped with disdain. “And-” he laughed, the sound like jagged glass. “When you find her, she is fucking me. Me. A mere human. Coffin bait.” Daniel’s eyes swung to Spencer. “And making her way into Spencer’s bed.” My eyes narrowed, I had no intentions of sleeping with my partner. Heat crawled up my neck. Talk about awkward. I refused to look at Spencer.

  “You crawl around picking up what crumbs of her affection she tosses you.” He sighed, anger deflating before my eyes and under my hand. Eyes locked with mine, he added softer but no less clear, “But I don’t judge man. I know, I understand. She’s worth it. She’s worth all of it.”

  Trembling with rage, Gavin was holding on to his control by a thread.

  Daniel’s hand coved mine over his steadily beating heart. “But I have one thing to offer her that neither of you can.”

  “What?” Gavin almost spat out.

  “I love her without condition.”

  “I love her!” Gavin growled lurching forward. My left hand pressed harder against him – had I been human he would have torn into Daniel.

  “Ah, yes you do my friend. But your love is clouded by who she was to you years ago. The Kyra that needed you, the sweet girl that looked to you like you had all the answers. The girl that needed you to feel safe.” Head tilted, he took another drag on his cigarette. His eyes swung to Gavin’s full of accusation. “This Kyra scares you. What she does, what she has done, what she likes.” One brow lifted and he sneered the last word. Heat again, infused my face. “She makes you uncomfortable. She worries you, confuses your white-bread morals.” Turning, he grabbed another beer, gulping the liquid courage. The thick silence left in the space between his words allowed some of what he said to sink in.

  “She’s unsure of herself around you, Gavin. And conflicted. You and Spencer.”

  “Hey leave me out of this.” Spencer held up his hands, palms forward.

  “I can’t – you are about as destructive to her as Gavin is. You are so stinking perfect and by-the-book that anyone would feel inadequate even being near you. Could you imagine having to be in a relationship with you? Sheesh!” Daniel stopped in front of me and captured my gaze once again.

  “There is nothing you can do - nothing - that would make me stop loving you.” The intensity of his words, the directness of his gaze left me frozen. My breath caught and everything fell away except us. He stepped closer, his hands cradling my face gently between his hands. He whispered against my lips, his warm breath mingled with mine.

  “Nothing you have done, or will ever do, is wrong to me. You never have to worry about being too bloodthirsty, violent, or cruel. You don’t have to question whether what you do will make me think less of you. There are no conditions you need to meet in order to keep my love. It’s yours. I am yours.” He swallowed thickly, shrugging. The vulnerability in his eyes was almost my undoing. Tears pooled in my eyes, but did not fall.

  “I don’t mind if you never choose just me – as long as I am somewhere in your life, I am happy. You could take a thousand lovers, kill a thousand humans, or retire and take up bridge. I don’t care. It is you I love - just you.” He finally met my lips with his in a kiss so gentle, so full of love and promise that a few gathered tears escaped their confines.

  “But you don’t know everything about her,” Gavin insinuated. My eyes swung to his, narrowed in warning. I did not like where he was threatening to go. Not because I worried about what Daniel would think, or what would happen if he knew about my shifting; it was Spencer I was concerned about. The third party in this uncomfortable encounter.

  Gavin was furious, he wasn’t thinking through the consequences of his words. Words he hurled like punches.

  “You think I care?” Daniel cut him off, eyes flashing. “You don’t get it do you? There is nothing you can say that would change how I feel. But what you say can hurt her. And that would piss me off. I’m sure it’ll piss her the hell off too. I’d watch it if I were you – it’s not like she needs anyone to fight her battles anymore. She doesn’t need a hero.”

  Daniel’s words seemed to hit home. Crestfallen Gavin stalked off, slamming the door behind him.

  “I’ll go after him,” Spencer sighed, rolling his eyes at the cat’s dramatics. “He needed to hear that though.” His eyes met mine. “Gavin’s hurting. He really does love you. I think he just didn’t expect things to turn out like this. He’s fighting a losing battle.” The door gently clicked behind my partner. Gavin and Spencer might end up as friends after all of this, but I was pretty sure Daniel and he would never get along.

 
; Pain laced through my heart. They hated each other. The thought of choosing one or the other made me feel like I was choking, like I was being torn into two.

  My legs itched to run, my muscles ached with the need to escape - my usual method of dealing. I knew better this time around. Running didn’t do me any good before. I had to stay, I had to figure this out.

  With Daniel I had something precious, something people search their whole lives for - unconditional love. But at the same time, that unconditional love might be my undoing. While Gavin might make me question myself, my motivations, he made me want to be a better person. I was worried that without someone to hold me accountable for my actions, I would lose myself in the monster I was becoming. He helped me hold onto my humanity. The irony in that was not lost on me.

  Frustration clawed at me, tore at my insides. I wanted to scream, to hit something. Why did I have to choose?

  Wait.

  Why did I have to choose?

  My eyes swung to Daniel, watching my inner turmoil calmly, patiently allowing me the time to make my own decision. Trusting me. He wouldn’t care if I didn’t choose.

  The closed door. Gavin. The echo of his anger still reverberated in the room. Gavin would care. But would he deal with it? Would the jealous cat push his prejudices, his anger aside and stretch his boundaries? Did he love me enough to take me as I was? He’d been patient for the last few months, extremely patient. Would he be willing to continue things as they were?

  There was only one way to find out. Resolve strengthened my spine, steeled my decision. Determined, my narrowed eyes bored into Daniel’s.

  “I don’t want to choose.” I stepped closer, clasping his hand into mine. “I refuse to choose. You each complete me in a way I never thought possible. I didn’t want this, I didn’t go looking for it. But I don’t want to give it up, give you up.”

  His eyes filled with hope as he smiled warmly, a trembling breath escaping in a sigh. “You know I’m fine with it. We will figure everything out as we go.” He worriedly met my eyes. “Gavin’s not going to take it as well. He might take it as you choosing me, by refusing to choose between us. It may be too much for him. He may decide to leave.”