by Lara Swann
“Just wait and see, Leah. You’ll see I’m right.”
Emma gives me the most serene smile, and as we finish the last of the wine together, her words echo in my mind.
Her words, coupled with Alistair’s face.
His body.
Our past.
* * *
“Leah!”
I jump at the shout, glancing over my shoulder in the direction that Emma just stalked off to answer the door, then look back at Maddie sitting at the breakfast table with me.
“Be right back, sweetie.”
I tousle her hair before walking through the narrow entranceway to the front porch - where Emma is looking back at me with raised eyebrows and a curious expression.
“Is everything al—”
“These are for you, babe.”
She twists around and produces a bunch of wildflowers, all elegantly arranged and displayed and tied up with a card.
I stop still, looking at her in pure confusion for a moment.
“But…”
“Three guesses as to who they’re from.”
I look back at them again, and a strange feeling shoots through me. I can’t even tell whether it’s a good feeling or not, but I know I’ve never felt this wary around flowers before.
“You checked the card?” I ask, amused despite everything else.
“Well, I did think they were for me.” She points out, then hands me the card, adding casually. “He wants you to go to his for dinner tonight.”
I stare at her again. “What?”
“Dinner. Tonight. Maddie, too. I guess that answered our question about what the hell you guys do next. Sounds like fun, too, though we’ll have to find you something to wear—”
“Emma, wait.” I hold up a hand, trying to work out what’s going on.
She’s a dozen steps ahead of me right now, and I want a moment to read the damn thing myself.
I’m sorry for going too far yesterday.
I think it was one of the best days of my life, and I didn’t want it to end.
Can I make it up to you both with dinner at mine tonight?
I bite my lip, the message not doing anything to help the strange fluttering in my chest.
“These are lovely.” I look up to see Emma admiring the flowers. “He has good taste, this guy.”
He always did have that.
And after I’d made it very clear that I wasn’t a red rose kind of girl early on in our relationship, he spent the next couple of weeks bringing me different individual flowers - watching to see which ones ‘make your face light up’, apparently. I’d thought he was just being dramatic about it…until he showed up with a perfectly curated bouquet of them - flowers I didn’t even realize I liked, but somehow he had.
Flowers that look suspiciously like a lot of these ones.
He remembers, too.
Damn it.
I knew seeing him again would bring it all back, but…I thought none of that mattered anymore. It doesn’t, even. But I didn’t think I’d remember how it all felt so vividly. Almost as if I’m back there now. Which I’m not - and I’m not going to be. It’s too much of a bad idea.
Yep. Just keep telling yourself that, girl.
“So, should I be expecting you back late tonight?” Emma says, with a sly smile.
“Em. I don’t even know that I’m going.”
“Why not? He sent an apology, flowers, an offer to make you dinner…I’m impressed, at least. There were times I would’ve killed for that kind of gesture from Tom.”
“And how did he even know where I was staying? I didn’t tell him, so it’s just another example of him throwing money around to do whatever the hell he wants—”
“Girl, when what he wants is to send you flowers and an invitation to dinner, is that really such a bad thing?”
“It’s practically stalking.” I point out, though I’m not sure I mean it.
I just don’t know what to think about any of it.
Emma laughs at me. “I think I need to get me a couple of stalkers, then. C’mon, did you really not want him to? You were saying last night that you didn’t know what was happening with him - he did sort that out for you.”
I grumble as she calls me on my double standards, but I don’t really argue. She’s right about that.
“I’m still not sure he should be able to—”
“If he’s going to have all that money, I’d want him to use it for some nice, romantic gestures—”
“It wasn’t romantic.” I frown. “This is about Maddie.”
She snatches the card back from me and skips out of my reach, reading it out in a swooning voice.
“‘I think it was one of the best days of my life’.”
“Because he met his dau—” I cut myself off, suddenly aware that Maddie is only down the hall, with far bigger ears than she should have for her size. “That wasn’t because of me. And give me that back.”
“If you say so, Leah. But I’d bet it was both of you.” She hands the card back with a too-knowing smile. “So you’re going to dinner tonight, right?”
“I—”
“Wow!” I swirl around to find Maddie behind me, pointing at the flowers with big eyes. “Those are pretty!”
Emma grins at her. “They are, aren’t they? A nice man gave them to your Mommy.”
Maddie turns to me with the same excited expression. “Who, Mommy?”
I shoot Emma a glare, turning it into a smile as I look down at my little girl. “Just a friend. Here, smell them, baby. Isn’t that nice?”
I take them off Emma and crouch down so that she can see them better, and she nods enthusiastically.
“I like flowers.” She says happily, and I smile.
Seeing her enjoyment somehow makes all the uncertain conversation and internal debates about Alistair fade away - and suddenly, I’m happy the he sent them just for her reaction.
“Do you want to help me put them in water?” I ask.
Maddie nods, her head bouncing up and down, and I take her hand.
Emma gathers her worn dressing gown around her and gives us a grin as she slips past.
“You two do that - I have to go get dressed.” She groans as she disappears. “I’m going to be so late for work.”
By the time Maddie has ‘helped’ - and I use that word in the loosest sense - me with the flowers, Emma has made it back into the kitchen - looking pressed and neat and professional, as if she hadn’t been lounging around with us over breakfast at all. She grabs the piece of toast she left when the door rang earlier, not seeming to notice that it’s probably stone cold, and tilts her head in my direction.
“You are going to go, right?” She asks again, relentless.
“I thought you were going to be late.” I say, amused by her persistence.
She shrugs. “Yeah, I know. But it’ll be worth it to make sure you don’t eff this up. The Alistair Sinclair, Leah. I still can’t get my head around it.”
“Well, don’t get carried away - and yeah, I don’t know, maybe. I still haven’t…” I trail off, glancing over to where Maddie’s head is swiveling back and forwards between us, even though I doubt she understands a thing we’re saying. She better not, anyway.
I still haven’t talked to her about any of it.
I sigh, giving Emma a long-suffering look that she doesn’t really deserve, and realize she won’t be satisfied until she gets an answer.
I crouch down again, and look at Maddie’s curious face, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Baby, do you remember Mommy’s friend? The man at the park yesterday?”
She thinks for a moment, giving my question a weight I hadn’t expected - before nodding.
“He played in the sand with me…and…umm…” She frowns in concentration for a moment, and I smile at her sweetly puckered face, before she finally continues. “…and we did some other things, too.”
I nod. “Yeah, it was fun, wasn’t it? Did you like him?”
“Yeah. He was nice.” She nods again, her fingers playing with each other as she shifts from foot to foot.
I give her a smile, trying not to notice how relieved I am about that.
“Well, he wants us to go play at his house tonight…”
“Okay.” She says brightly, before I even think of how to ask the question.
And then she skips off to the sitting room, leaving me blinking at the empty space in front of me.
It was that easy?
But then, I guess she’s used to me asking her to come with me to strange, new places. And she’s always been good about it. Maybe this is no different to her, but still…
“Well.” I look up to see Emma’s arms folded and a smirk on her face. “I’m not sure what I think of you getting a four-year-old to make the decisions you don’t want to, but, considering the result…I can live with it.”
I roll my eyes at her. “I had to check she was okay with it, at least. She was far too tired for questions about Alistair yesterday.”
I stand up and she pulls me into a quick hug.
“Sorry I’ve gotta go, hun. I’d love to stick around and help you pick out what to wear - but just take anything you want from my wardrobe. Have a great dinner.”
“I don’t need anything, Em. I’m not dressing up for this.”
It’s not about that.
She withdraws for a moment, holding my arms and looking me up and down.
“Well, the offer is there if you change your mind.”
Her eyes sparkle as she gives me a quick wave and calls out a ‘goodbye’ to Maddie before rushing out the door.
I frown as the whirlwind departs and I’m left standing in the kitchen, her words echoing in my mind.
I’m not dressing up. That isn’t what this is about.
If anything, I need to dissuade the undertones between us and any inevitable reminders of what was - for Maddie’s sake.
That’s the right thing to do…isn’t it?
The way he was yesterday. His obvious interest. Everything that came before. That damned note this morning.
I don’t want to think about anything more…I don’t want to risk us crashing and burning the way we did before. Not with my little girl in the middle.
But…
I look down at what I’m wearing again. And hope I’m not going to be thinking about that all day.
Then there’s a crash followed by a giggle from the other room, and everything else disappears from my mind as I mutter to myself and hurry to where Maddie was playing.
“What have you done now?”
Chapter Eight
Alistair
This time, I’m actually whistling as I walk back to my office with my lunch.
I even left the office to get it myself, in an effort to work off some of the energy that had me wanting to dance around the office.
She said yes!
I thought she might tell me to go to hell for doing a little poking around and finding out where she was staying - but no, I got a message this morning accepting my offer. And, hopefully, my apology.
At least, I chose to take it that way.
Meredith takes one look at me as I come in, and actually chuckles.
“Yesterday went well then, I take it?”
“I think so. Meeting Maddie was just…insane. A daughter - fuck, who could believe it?” I give her a small grin. “I’ve got a second date too, so I can’t have fucked it up too badly.”
She raises an eyebrow at that. “A date, huh? Is that Maddie, or Leah that you’re trying to date now?”
“Well…” I pause. I’m not usually this open - not about this stuff, and not even with Meredith. But for some reason I’m feeling lighter than I usually do, and it comes easily. “Maybe both of them.”
Meredith’s gaze sharpens, and she gives me a long, weighty look. “That sounds…risky, Alistair. Particularly for the child.”
That’s exactly Leah’s problem too.
And I get it. I do. But…
I shrug. It’s not a decision anyway - it’s just the way I feel when I’m around her.
“I’m not sure I could do it any other way if I wanted to. And if it works - wouldn’t that be best for Maddie?”
“Maybe it would.” Meredith’s expression softens, and for a moment I get a glimpse of real compassion there - then she shifts back to her usual wry humor. “Either way, it’s good to see you so animated about something other than work - maybe I’ll be able to start working semi-reasonable hours for once—”
“Woah, woah, woah.” I hold up my hands, grinning at her. “Let’s not go too far with this, Meredith. Who else is going to cover for me while I’m off having fun?”
She shoots me an exasperated look.
“Speaking of, there were a few calls for you while you were out - and Barkley stopped by, had something he needed to talk to you about.”
“I was only gone for fifteen minutes.” I mutter, but it’s not like I’m surprised.
It’s the sort of fast-paced life I’ve lived for years - that I’ve thrived on for years. But sometimes it amuses me - makes me wonder what would happen to this place if I wasn’t here at all.
Probably not all that much.
There’d be someone else here to stress over it all - if I want to be generous, maybe the company would do a few less deals, get a little less business…but I’m not arrogant enough to think I’m irreplaceable.
And sometimes it’s fun to think I could take my billions and leave them all to it. Disappear.
Of course, the idea has always been absurd. I have no idea what I’d do - with the time, the money, any of it. Business is my life, and I’ve never found anything to match the thrill of closing that million dollar deal.
Then the image of playing with Maddie in the park yesterday flashes into my head, and I pause, suddenly disconcerted - before shaking the feeling off.
The idea of my daughter is…impossibly alluring. But this business is my whole life. And besides, the thought of her only makes me want to work harder - to provide for her, build something to give to her when she’s older, maybe. If she’s interested.
That makes me smile.
Legacy building, eh?
All those important values my father talked about that I never quite understood the point of…passing something down through the generations has never mattered before. But I guess that changes the moment you have a kid.
Though…with the company public, I’m not sure what kind of legacy this will end up being.
My smile doesn’t fade, though. Something to work towards. Another meaning to it all, maybe.
“Alistair?” Meredith cuts through my brief daydream, looking at me with a small amount of disbelief.
I’ve certainly never been one to get lost in thought before.
“Sorry, what was that?” I smile in her direction this time.
“I asked if you wanted the details of the calls now or later?” She deliberately ignores my lapse.
I glance over to the hall leading to Barkley’s office and shrug. “I should probably check in with Barkley first - if anything was urgent, forward it through to my desk, and I’ll deal with it over lunch.”
Her grin returns. “Not quite slacking off enough to eat lunch somewhere other than your desk, then.”
“Hah, no. That really would be a concern.”
I leave my sandwich on my desk, laughing to myself as I remember Maddie’s comments about sandwiches yesterday, and then walk past my office and down another corridor, towards Barkley’s office.
I nod to his secretary, Mia, but walk in without a word, just giving it a brief knock on my way past - to see him sitting with his feet up on his desk, scowling at something he’s sifting through.
He glances up as I come in, and grunts.
/>
“Alistair - have you seen the latest from McCaffery & Co? Their numbers are appalling this quarter, and we were relying on them to boost our retail earnings. What the hell went wrong there?”
A frown flickers over my expression, but I just shrug. “No, I haven’t yet.”
McCaffery & Co are one of the many companies that make up our business, and their figures arrived on my desk this morning - along with several others. Since they’re part of the group I look after, it’s surprising Barkley has even had a chance to look through them yet - but I guess someone gave him a heads’ up.
“Not sure what you have been doing then…” He grouses, muttering something under his breath.
I ignore it - Barkley has always been like that when something unexpected hits him. Instead, I just shrug and offer him a smile.
“Thanks for flagging it - I’ll look through them this afternoon, and make a few calls to investigate. I’m sure I’ll work it out - and even if we need to intervene to turn it around, we’re doing well enough in that area with the other companies.”
He finally looks up at me, frowning.
“‘We’re doing well enough?’” He asks. “Since when is that good enough for you?”
I sigh, but it’s with a wry smile. Sometimes there’s no point trying to reassure Barkley.
“It isn’t - but we’ve dealt with worse blips before, and this isn’t going to sink us. We’ll sort it - but it’s not something to keep you awake at night, that’s all I’m saying.”
He grunts again, blatantly unimpressed, and I give a small laugh at his familiar quirks.
“I’ll look into it.” I promise, turning to go.
“Wait.”
I pause, and watch as his full focus narrows onto me - the papers he was flicking through dropping onto the desk as he swings his legs back to the ground.
“You’re in a fucking good mood today.” He asks, one eyebrow raised. “What did you do? Buy a yacht or something?”
This time I don’t hide my laugh.
“Yeah. You know I get seasick.”
“Oh, do you actually? I thought that was just an excuse to avoid my summer boat party.”
“That too.” I quip - though his unimpressed expression doesn’t change.