Just Like a Woman

by Madeleine Clark

  Pulling himself out of the pool, Robert felt the rain fall hard on his body and stood for a few moments to enjoy it. Breathing in the cold wet air forever thankful he could afford to heat his pool all year round, as there were few things he enjoyed better than swimming naked in the rain. And Andy would be here soon.

  Walking slowly into the house he grabbed a towel and rubbed himself down; no need for a shower now, the pool and the rain had done all the cleansing he needed for the moment.

  He scrubbed dry his hair and ran his fingers through it. He was only spending the day with Andy, no need to bother, he would wait until this evening and then get togged up. Stephanie had given him strict instructions, again; be nice to her; be gentle with her; she was special. What the hell was so special about this girl? She was only a girl, she was not even that, she was a woman. Why be so gentle with her? But she wouldn’t tell him, he had to wait and see for himself, but he could hear the excitement in her voice down the phone. Stephanie was expecting great things here, she had even told him what to wear. Terry was supposed to be ironing his clothes now but as he pulled the towel off his head he saw her advancing through the kitchen.

  ‘What’s wrong?’

  She never bothered to hide her feelings.

  ‘Just had another phone call from the Becky creature!’

  ‘Oh for godsakes.’ He threw the towel on the floor, standing naked in front of her. Terry just looked him up and down. ‘What is it she wants? I made it clear it was only one night when she asked to see me the next night.’

  ‘Well perhaps she’d have understood, if you hadn’t then seen her the following two nights.’ Terry sighed and turned to walk away.

  ‘Oi! Where are you going?’ He yelled at her.

  ‘Back to the office. I’ve relayed the message, and have no desire to stand here arguing with a flaccid penis!’ She yelled back as she continued on her way slamming the door as she went. Picking up the towel he wished he could find a way to tame that dyke.

  Half an hour later, dressed in a t-shirt and shorts, he opened the door to Andy, a big smile looming on his face as he saw his friend.

  ‘I’m glad to see you.’ Grabbing his arm he pulled him into the kitchen where two mugs stood ready to fill with the fresh coffee Terry made earlier.

  Although they were of a similar age, Andy’s impish looks and shock of jet black curls kept him looking young. Robert endured endless jibes about this, but retaliated with remarks about how Andy’s high voice made up for his lack of height. They took their coffee in to the studio, Terry being banned from here, they were not likely to be overheard, he knew Andy was almost paranoid about anyone finding out his secret. Robert had told him on more than one occasion he really should try not to complicate his life so much, but at the moment knew he was living on a knife edge. Andy told him all about his affair some years ago. Having been seduced by his wife’s sister as he put it, he’d been having an illicit affair with her for 6 years now. His wife had found out and Andy finished it, there was a reconciliation in which Robert had taken a large part. But last year Andy confided the affair was still going on, in fact things had progressed out of hand; he was now keeping his sister-in-law in a rather extravagant manner, all the time knowing if his wife found out she would leave him and take all she could with her. With Andy’s new TV family show on a Saturday evening the media were hounding him, not quite convinced of the squeaky clean image Andy portrayed. Any whiff of a scandal and Robert knew his friend would be finished.

  ‘You’ve got to tell Maggie. You really have Andy. It’s no good, look at you. Is she worth all this?’

  ‘Which one?’ he asked as he looked into his coffee. ‘I feel sick at the thought of it. You really can’t imagine what it feels like!’

  An image of Becky came into Robert’s mind. God he hated the fucking bitches. All conniving manipulative bitches. Christ look at his ex-wife, she was the worst of the lot. But if he waited long enough, he knew she’d eventually come crawling back. She needed him; she loved him. And when she realized she still loved him, then he’d make her wait, make her wait until he was ready.

  ‘Neither of them is worth it, Andy. If you tell Maggie now, she’d be stupid to do anything, it’s in her interests for you to be working.’ Andy was on the chaise longue perched on the edge, cradling his coffee between both hands while Robert lowered himself onto a cushion on the floor listening to his friend’s objections and justifications of what he was doing in his life.

  .

  Chapter Six

  Stephanie returned the smile, liking his perfect white teeth displayed through thick brown lips; god, he was gorgeous; just what she needed. She had spotted him as soon as she walked in. Not bothering to look around the club, she made an instant decision to be direct by walking straight to the gap in the bar beside him and asking if she could buy him a drink. She registered the surprise in his eyes he tried to hide when smiling at her. He nodded his head.

  ‘What would you like?’

  ‘A bottle of beer would be great,’ he replied recovering himself. Then added, ‘without the lime!’

  She smiled again, pleased he wasn’t the poser he could so easily have been with those looks. She ordered the drinks, emphasizing her own demand for full fat coke in her drink, instead of the insipid diet stuff they always thought women wanted.

  ‘Ice and lemon?’ The barman asked.

  ‘Only in the rum, please.’

  She turned to the guy at her elbow and held out her hand to him,

  ‘Hello, I’m Mary.’

  ‘Nice to meet you. Neville.’ He took her hand and as he shook it gently she noticed standing directly behind him, watching and smiling, was Trevor. For just a second she faltered not knowing quite what to do. Had he heard her? Trevor raised his glass to her in salutation. She turned to the bar to pay the barman without acknowledging him.

  She had gone out on a whim, not even thinking about where she was going and it was rather later than her normal going time. On the way home from work the image of Robert and Sarah meeting circled round her head. She fantasized how they would get on and find each other attractive, knowing it was the best match she had found so far. When she got home Stephanie felt so wired by this image she knew she needed to go out. After walking the dogs, she had a quick shower and just threw on the first thing she grabbed from her wardrobe. She really wasn’t bothered tonight, anyone would do, as long as they had somewhere to go. The way she felt, the back of a car would be sufficient tonight. That was until she saw Neville, and knew she had to have him. She was amazed he was on his own at this late hour; he must have just arrived as well.

  Finishing her drink quicker than she would usually have done, she told him she wanted to dance, and thankfully Neville was just as keen. All the time they were talking Trevor remained behind Neville, watching and listening. He didn’t exactly look at her but she was aware of his presence, sure he was watching her, observing them. But whenever she looked in his direction, he was never looking at her, in fact most of the time he seemed to have his back to her; engrossed in conversation with some petite female she hadn’t noticed before. But there was nothing unusual about that, she never looked at the females in the clubs, they would not be what she wanted. All these were women like her; predators, and she didn’t find that attractive in a female.

  Neville held her with one arm round her waist whilst the other took her hand enfolding it against his shoulder, his head down kissing her fingers, letting his lips linger on her finger tips, as if he was going to suck them but refraining. He looked up at her face staring intently into her eyes. She shuddered, he was a bit too desperate but tonight she could overlook it and as an image of Sarah and Robert came into her mind she pushed her hips closer to him feeling his thighs between her legs; pleased to feel him hard against her.

  She looked back into his eyes until a movement behind him caught in her peripheral sight. Glancing over his shoulder she saw Trevor dancing close beside them. He was dancing with his eyes closed holding
his petite partner tight. Something in Stephanie’s stomach flipped and she had no idea what the feeling was. She only knew she didn’t want to see Trevor, or the little tart he was holding. She closed her eyes feeling Neville’s arms hold her. But even as she pushed herself into him she could still feel Trevor there; ignoring her.

  As the music came to an end, she whispered into Neville’s ear,

  ‘I’m just going to the toilet, I’ll see you back at the bar.’ And disentangled herself from his arms.

  She locked herself in a cubicle and rubbed her stomach. What was wrong with her? She never felt anything for her one night stands but sitting on the toilet seat leaning back against the cistern she recalled Trevor’s mouth on hers. No one had tried to absorb her quite like he had. She was terrified, because she couldn’t deny she liked it.

  Hell, it was only a kiss for heaven’s sake! Then she remembered his hands on her body, expertly touching her; feeling her. She felt sick. Him out there with that tart, on the dance floor. She shook her head, speaking sharply to herself. Standing up, she flushed the unused toilet and walked out of the toilets, ready for Neville.

  Crossing the dance floor towards the bar she saw immediately Trevor standing at the bar; talking to Neville, but before she could change direction and head towards the exit Neville spotted her and waved his hands, beckoning her over to join them.

  ‘I thought for a moment there, you were going to leave,’ Neville joked when she was beside him. He leaned in with his mouth close to her ear so she could hear and she automatically bent her head down. Her eyes looking at the floor saw cowboy boots. ‘This guy here spilt his drink,’ he waved his hand down his trouser leg showing her the dark stain on the inside of his leg. ‘He’s just buying another and one for me as an apology.’

  Stephanie looked up into Neville’s face and then across at Trevor who was busy paying the barman. Ignoring her. She felt an unexpected feeling of elation. He had deliberately sabotaged her evening and wasn’t ignoring her. She tried to look angry. Neville reached across and tapped him on the shoulder,

  ‘Hey mate, this is Mary.’

  Trevor looked round at Neville, and then at her,

  ‘Mary? Mary did you say?’ Then with great exaggeration he said, ‘How d’you do Mary. I’m Trevor.’ He took her hand before she could withhold it, he tugged her towards him, ‘Can I get you a rum?’

  Pulling her hand free she turned to Neville,

  ‘I think I’ll leave you to it.’ Then aside so only Neville could hear, she added, ‘I think your friend has had a few too many!’

  ‘You’re not leaving because of him are you? Surely?’

  She smiled back, and on tiptoes kissed his cheek.

  ‘Hopefully another time?’ Before she left she turned to Trevor and smiled.

  *****

  Sarah sat in her car waiting. She had arrived ten minutes early, needing to get out of the house as soon as possible. She had been very careful, and was very pleased with herself that she had got out of the house unscathed. She had made her mother some dinner, and had pretended to eat in the kitchen alone whilst her mother ate in the lounge. Having got dressed in her bedroom, she then crept downstairs to put her coat on over the new dress. She risked putting a little makeup on, hoping her mother would not come out and see, as she called from the hallway to say her goodbye.

  Now sitting in the car park, she could still taste the vomit in her mouth from earlier. Thankfully her mother had been watching TV and did not hear her. Her stomach was still playing leapfrog while she waited. The lie had worked. She had been so convincing, she almost believed the lie herself and at the moment wished it was the truth. She checked her face in the mirror. She had learnt from the best; her mother had taught her well. She would have liked to put more makeup on but didn’t want to try to do it with only the street light and a car mirror. He should arrive soon, surely it was time. Ten minutes waiting seemed like an eternity. Maybe he wasn’t going to show up. He had changed his mind. Why would he want to go out with her in the first place?

  Reaching for her phone to check the time, headlights glared at her. The frogs in her stomach leapt higher than ever, trying to get out of her mouth. She swallowed them down, tasting bile again. This was all a mistake and she should just go home. Her hand reached for the keys, but before she could start the engine the other car stopped beside her and a tall man got out.

  Her shaking hands pulled the keys from the ignition as she recognised him from all the photos she had studied. She opened her car door and got out.

  ‘Robert?’

  ‘You must be Sarah. Hi, just as Stephanie said you looked. Beautiful long blond hair.’ He took hold of her arm, leant down and kissed her on the cheek. The heat from her face flamed, and liking his smile she attempted to smile back but the tension in her body refused to evict itself and her face remained static. ‘I’ll drive to the restaurant if you like.’ She continued to stare at him, her mouth refusing to work. ‘Or would you prefer to follow me?’ He continued in the silence. She shook her head and walked round to his passenger door. He was such a gentleman, she thought.

  Sinking into his soft leather car seat, she was grateful for the music playing as they drove to the restaurant. He asked if she liked that kind of music and she nodded her head, all the while talking to herself and telling herself to relax; recalling all Stephanie had told her; breathing deeply and letting go. But she didn’t dare breath too deeply otherwise he would wonder what on earth she was doing. She repeated in her head all the affirmations Stephanie had given her, but none of it seemed to be working. She wanted to go home, be home, safe with her mother.

  Her mother; safe! What was she thinking, she was safer here than at home. She turned to look at him as he concentrated on the road. It was a pleasant profile, his eyes reflected the street lights, his lips looked a bit dry as she watched his tongue lick them and they didn’t naturally smile she realised. He caught her looking at him and she turned quickly to look out of the window. How was she going to eat anything? Why had she agreed to have a meal? It would have been better to just have a drink. What was she doing here?

  ‘Here we are,’ he informed her unnecessarily. ‘I hope you’re hungry.’ She smiled back, her face at last beginning to work.

  Following him in through the door she saw the barmaid double check his face and then stare at her. When they were shown to their table she noticed people look up from their meals and heard whispers behind her as she walked past, barely managing to avoiding tripping on a chair leg. She let the waiter hold her chair whilst she sat down, and then pass a menu to her, waiting for him to move away before she whispered,

  ‘How do you cope with people staring?’

  ‘It’s not a problem anymore. Besides they know who I am. It’s not me they’re looking at. It’s you they’re staring at, trying to guess who you are!’ As he lifted the menu she hoped he wouldn’t notice her blushing. ‘What sort of thing do you like to eat?’

  ‘Um, I don’t know really, anything. Um, well actually no, I haven’t eaten a lot of fish before. Only things like fish fingers?’

  ‘Mind if I smoke?’ And before she could answer he struck a match. When the waiter came over brandishing an ashtray telling him it was not allowed he shouted ‘Oh for fucksake, what the hell!’ He stubbed it out. ‘Well bring us a bottle of red wine. The house wine’ll do.’ Sarah buried her face in her menu wishing she was home again. Maybe it was safer and at home at least she could hide in her bedroom.

  ‘We don’t need starters, do we?’

  Was he actually asking her a question, because he didn’t look up from the menu at her? She carried on looking at it, not really seeing the words. Her mind wouldn’t focus on anything. She gave up and closed it.

  ‘Have you chosen?’ He looked at her this time.

  ‘Um, no, I don’t really know what I want.’ He stared back at her. ‘Well what are you having?’ she continued.

  ‘Um,’ he looked back at the menu, ‘Probably the steak. Yes steak
tornado.’

  ‘Ok, I’ll have that as well.’ She said and wondered what it would be.

  The waiter approached with a bottle of wine and poured a dribble into Robert’s glass. Robert raised the glass to his nose and sniffed.

  ‘That’ll do.’ He drank what was in his glass then put it back on the table.

  The waiter filled her glass up before she could say no. She decided she would try a glass. He then filled Robert’s glass, who raised it and gulped it down in one, before proceeding to order their meals.

  She liked the way he took control, not bothering to ask her how she wanted her steak when the waiter asked but answering for her, and again when asked if she would like a side salad or extra vegetables. He acted how a real man should act. She breathed a sigh of relief as the waiter left the table, but only momentarily as she realized now she was expected to talk to Robert. Her mind lost focus again as she searched around for something to say, anything. What could she say? She took a big swig of her wine and shuddered as it went down and before she could think of anything, Robert started talking. Thankfully he talked non-stop until the food was brought to the table, obviously realizing how nervous she was, filled the silence with his stories. He told her all about his day, how he had been recording some music with a new band he was managing; he told her how good he thought they were, how dedicated, he also told how stupid they were, and young. And how he was going to make loads of money from them.