Spirit Intercom

by Sean Adami

  After this considerably significant event transpired, Andrew heard plant ruffles. Behind him was Herb in his presence. Andrew shook in startle. Herb said, “Hello, Son of Nature. Did you enjoy your celebratory feast yesterday?”

  Still struck by his quick appearance, Andrew said, “What? Yeah. I enjoyed it. I guess.”

  “Great to hear!” Herb positively reinforced. “Well, anyway, I was thinking that I show you more of our everyday life at Allure.”

  Andrew scratched the back of his hair. “Okay. Do you also know where my mother is?”

  “Mother Nature is enjoying herself to some peaceful rest.”

  Andrew wanted to speak with her. He wanted to know more of her past life. The life where she lived physically, not dimensionally. “When she wakes up, tell her that I wish to speak with her.”

  Herb eloquently said, “Request granted. I think it is time I show you the different factions that we got going around here.”

  Andrew asked, “Factions? What do you mean?”

  Herb placed his prickly hand on Andrew’s eyes. “I take you.”

  Andrew knew to zone out. It was his fourth time using this “mode of transportation.”

  Zoning out complete, Andrew obtained his vision. Trees still fixated around them. Below them, entwined tree branches sprawled. To his left and to his right, animate plants laid their bodies out in certain areas where light illuminated. However, all these animate plants expressed a blue majority of petals on the outer rims of their heads. The light shined on their relaxed chlorophyll-flowing bodies.

  “These Plant are the Seekers,” Herb said. He was attracted to a shining spot of light. He admired the light. The light nourished him photosynthetically. “The Seekers scout the best and most fulfilling spots for photosynthesis. Esse gives us light. Each day Esse brings light is a blessing. Her forthcoming marks our existence.”

  Andrew finally breathed out. “Esse, huh? How do the Seekers detect which sun spot—I mean Esse spot—is best?”

  “Esse granted this physical power to the Seekers by offering them thermoreceptors.”

  Andrew said, “So they can perceive infrared light through these sensors?”

  “That is correct,” Herb answered. (Hey, reader! Just to let you know, infrared light [a.k.a UV light] cannot be seen with the human eye. Humans can only see visible light when light waves emit 380-740 nanometers. However, with thermoreceptors, the animate plants can spot infrared light that emits more than 700 nanometers.) “In fact, their receptors are located on their eyelids. A translucent green film overlays on their eyes. This film displays the different infrared waves present in our atmosphere. If you even wanted to, they could lend you it. Want to give it a try?”

  “Whoa, really? Sure,” Andrew enthusiastically requested.

  Herb definingly yelled, “Hey! Shruburb! Expel of your thermoreceptor, and lend it to the Son of Nature! Now!” Herb released a shrill hiss. Andrew felt awkward.

  Shruburb contracted its venus flytrap mouth. Pinching its eyes as if it were taking off contacts, Shruburb rested them on its wooden palm. It caressed them with its other hand and gave them to Andrew.

  Andrew asked, “How do I put them on?”

  “Easy. Just place them on your eyes,” Herb stated.

  “They burn?”

  Herb reaffirmed, “Of course not. The film is made of a transparent chlorophyll cell wall.”

  Placing the first one in his eye, Andrew suddenly felt his eye unfettered by a burning sensation. Quickly placing the other one in his other eye, the unfettering doubled. While his eyes suffered, he saw red and orange colors where the Esse light shined; whereas, the branches were dark blue.

  The burning gradually ended. Andrew thought, is this what color blind people see? Some spots glamoured more bright colors while others lessened. The fact that animate plants used photosynthetic manipulation fascinated Andrew. Andrew said, “Okay, okay, I’m convinced.” He took the films off his eyes and gave them back to Shruburb.

  Herb said, “As you see, the Seekers are needed. Their faction is mandatory for our functionality.” Herb got up from the floor. “Now, it’s time that I take you to the next faction.”

  Andrew said, “Carry me for the fifth time. I’m totally down for this.”

  After this magical carrying ended, Andrew saw the new faction. Beautiful flowers blossomed all around Andrew. Animate plants with a red petal majority wandered around the flowers. Andrew recognized some of the flowers: jasmins, roses, daisies, lilies, and gardenias. All colors arose in this gargantuan cluster.

  Herb said, “The Coddlers are responsible for making Allure as lively as possible.”

  Andrew said, “Plants coddling plants, hmmm. Sounds legit to me.”

  “And that’s all there really is to them. Off to the next faction.”

  Carried for the sixth time, Andrew witnessed a long bioluminescent river. Animate plants with a yellow petal majority stood in the water, holding wooden buckets.

  Herb said, “These are the Gatherers. They replenish our chlorophyll intake. They, too, are important for our functionality.”

  Andrew said, “Alright, man! I get it. There are different roles here. Why do you have to show me all of this?”

  Herb said, “To expand your rational intellect. To gain perspective. Everyone lives in unison here. Everyone has a job. Your job is to continue your royalty as the Son of Nature.”

  “Okay. Can we just return back to my teepee?”

  Herb said, “Yes, as soon as I finish pouring this water on myself.” As Herb picked up a wooden bucket, Andrew heard a loud bass-infused noise.

  Andrew asked, “What is that noise? It’s so loud!”

  Herb expressed an excited sigh. “That’s the sound of a burrowing bass ferret. Which means—oh no! An intruder has been spotted! You stay here Son of Nature while I investigate. Stay safe!” He scurried off with his long legs and ditched Andrew.

  Andrew couldn’t wrap his head around all the abruptness he went through. He thought, burrowing bass what? He couldn’t catch a break. Sitting next to the river, he closed his eyes. Trying to reach a meditative state, Andrew tried connecting his brain with the nature around him. Exhaling and inhaling at relaxed intervals, he finally felt peace of mind. He relaxed. He breathed. He could hear. He could smell. The smell of water provided him with a vibe of freshness. The sound of the bass noise was no more. The sound of flowing water reeled into his mind. As transcendence and peace flowed, Andrew heard the sound of Herb’s quick footsteps.

  Herb said, “Son of Nature, I present you with a visitor.” Andrew opened his eyes and terminated his nirvana. Turning around, he saw it was Harriet, with no facial expression. A baby was cradled in her arms, the exact baby that Andrew found on the fully-filled dumpster. Andrew felt silence.

  Andrew hesitantly said, “Hi, Harriet.” Andrew’s heartbeat trembled.

  She handed the baby to Herb. Harriet still remained expressionless until her eyebrows slowly uncoiled. Teeth slowly emerged. Lips slowly pursed. Cheekbones slowly levitated. Harriet’s expression: done.

  She raised her hands. All of a sudden she gripped her hands around Andrew’s neck and tenaciously squeezed with all her angry strength. Andrew throttled back and forth, struggling for a gasp of air. Underestimating her strength, he tried pushing her body back in retribution, but she maintained her clench.

  Herb jolted to Harriet and restricted her body away from Andrew’s. Andrew vacuumed in a fresh gulp of air. Exhaling rampantly, Andrew exhaustedly shouted, “What the hell, Harriet! What are you doing!” Harriet was painted with an indignant face.

  She snarled at him and screamed, “Andrew, how could you leave me out there! You’re a horrible person!” Tears bursted out of her eye sockets. Herb carried Harriet away from Andrew.

  As he moved, Herb said, “I’m so sorry for provoking you, Son of Nature. We will dispatch her as soon as possible. Treasonous acts such as these will not be tolerated.”

  Harriet said, “Son of Nature? What
are you? A god now? You turn your back on me, and you become a beloved deity? What even is this! This makes no sense!” Herb changed from walking to running.

  Andrew bit his tongue. “Hey! Don’t kill her!” He couldn’t tell if Herb was out of hearing range. He couldn’t tell if Herb meant what he said. Butterflies swelled his stomach. “Herb? Herb! Come back here!”

  No response.

  A pervasive flourish of chills trickled down his body. Isolated in an extraneous position, he sought to get help, but he had no sense of general direction. His dialogue vibrated to the nearest animate plant. He asked, “Hey, how do I get back to the Allure flower?” His voice still felt clogged after the choking.

  The plant continued scooping the water from the river. It placed the bucket with the pile of filled buckets. Picking up a new bucket, the animate plant scooped the water. The process repeated: scoop water, place bucket, and obtain new bucket. The plant ignored Andrew.

  “Hey!” Andrew yelled. “Can you help me?” Still possessed in its labor, the animate plant scooped the water, placed the bucket in the pile, and obtained the new bucket. Andrew stormed to the animate plant and tapped its wooden shoulder. Bending down to scoop the water, the animate plant did not notice. Caught up in a short horoscope of time, Andrew shook its body. Until then did the plant notice him.

  The animate plant said, “Hello, Son of Nature. What can I do to assist you?”

  Letting go of his shoulders, Andrew said, “Please tell me the quickest route to Allure from here.”

  The plant said, “Why, of course! Just walk up this river, and when you find the first tectonic plate, make a right, and Allure will be at your forefront.”

  Anxious for time, Andrew said, “Alright. Got it. Thank you.”

  The plant went back to its water gathering: fill, old bucket, new bucket. Andrew grew alarmed with its civil obedience that it had with its society. Forgetting this, Andrew rapidly made his way on the route. Nervous energy prevailed in his body as he coasted down the river. Tadpole creatures, or the Healers, appeared from the outer edges of the water, surging downstream. Andrew’s quick walking transformed to a light jog. This light jog converted to a mellow sprint. As his desire to save Harriet drove him, Andrew placed every foot with passion.

  Tadpoles still by his side, he noticed several hanging eggs on the embryonic trees. Andrew panted heavily, yet he did not feel tired or lose stamina. He was full of energy. Perspiration was non-existent. Andrew stopped running. He heard something: a noise that he heard from before. It sounded like a similar footstep that he knew of.

  The same noise occurred again. Bringing his body to that noise’s direction, Andrew saw a cheetah, the same species that had pounced on him an earlier time. A hesitant growl spurted out of its mouth. Each paw clawed into the mud, but no movement transcended. The cheetah’s eyes remained stagnant. The cheetah may have looked ferocious, but Andrew saw an underlying spark of care. As if it had some submissive will. Andrew’s sense of safety did not fly. It was firm and calm.

  Andrew raised his palm up gently. Naturally, Andrew said, “Hello there, little cheetah. You look lively today. Wanna go for a ride?”

  The cheetah held its ground, but its growls diminished. The cheetah’s heart beat non-volatilely. Just how Andrew overtook the bee, he needed to overtake the cheetah, naturally though. He approached the cheetah slowly, yet he was still in a hurry. Time ticked slower here.

  By the cheetah’s hindlegs, Andrew tenderly placed his hands on its back. The cheetah unleashed a small fidget, yet no physical movement. Andrew braced the cheetah and was now on top of it. He petted the cheetah’s neck delicately with his only index finger.

  Now under the control of Andrew, the cheetah took small strides ahead. Pointing straight, Andrew yelled, “That way!” The cheetah immediately spurred forward, almost knocking him off in chronic force. Following down the river, he thought, damn, I really messed up this time.

  The cheetah said, “So where are we going Andrew.”

  Andrew spazzed out in confusion. Was that just real? Did the cheetah just talk? Was there a coding error in the Spirit World, allowing the cheetah to speak?

  Seeing if the cheetah actually spoke, Andrew said, “Sorry, can you repeat that?”

  The cheetah continued running in silence. It may have been Andrew’s feeling of hunger that provoked this vision. The two continued down the river for some span of time until they reached the first tectonic plate. The animate plant was correct. Allure was a few meters away from him at his forefront.

  Andrew departed off the cheetah. He patted the cheetah’s head twice and quickly headed to the ginormous flower. Wanting to give himself more credit for overtaking his fear of the cheetah, Andrew had to put this on hold. Finding a hanging vine attached to Allure, he climbed this and placed his feet on the surface area of the flower. No animate plants appeared in the entire area. He thought, where are they? This wasn’t the time for thinking. Now was the time to save someone that tried strangling him. He figured they would be at his mother’s shack, or “palace.” He looked for the ladder, but no ladder could be found. Self-doubt loitered him. Of course, Herb would do anything possible to cover his tracks from Andrew.

  He needed a mode of flight, but sadly no dopamine bees meandered. In most need of a resourceful idea, he looked at what surrounded him. The cheetah was still behind him. The elevated tree branches that he needed to get to were still elevated. Nothing was cooking for him.

  The cheetah expressed a prominent yelp. Andrew turned around. Knowing that cheetahs couldn’t talk, he nevertheless hoped that it would tell him an idea through some means of communication. Andrew hopped on its back, and, unexpectedly, the cheetah zoomed forward, hopping from floating tectonic piece to piece. The usual abundance of trees dimmed in number. The cheetah felt reliable and quite trustworthy to Andrew. The animal made a sudden stop. Directly in front of them, a giant purple ruellia flower stood. In height it stretched twenty feet.

  Andrew waited. He was unsure why the cheetah would even bring him here. The cheetah walked up the stem, looking at the concave hole of the flower. Andrew, still confused, walked and stood on the petal. The cheetah made a nod gesture to the hole of the flower.

  Andrew asked, “What?” The cheetah just stared at the center of the flower. The center dropped down a few feet, almost the height of Andrew. His natural instinct insisted on walking in the dip. Andrew questioned this, but by the time he questioned it, he was already in the hole. The flower coughed up and closed its petals. He stood in the dark. Suddenly, the petals spattered out, and the flower spit Andrew out, propelling him hundreds of feet up in the air. Arms and legs flamboyant with the fragile air, he fell downward from the apex of his flight path until he landed onto the elevated tree branches. Thankfully, the branches donated a safe landing due to their high malleability.

  That whole sequence seemed too surreal to him. It was too unexpected, but his adrenaline to save a hater overturned him to keep moving. Seeing his mother’s shack off into the distance, he sprinted to it. Sitting in a yoga-like stance, animate plants crowded around the structure. Time sped up here. Making it to the crowd, he pushed every plant that clouded his vision. He finally saw Herb, his mother, Harriet, and the baby in the center of the crowd.

  Harriet seemed calm. Herb seemed relaxed. His mother seemed tranquil. They all held partially decayed manuscripts as his mother’s lips moved vividly.

  Andrew coughed deeply and put his hand on his mother’s shoulder. “What’s going on?”

  Marie said, “Why, of course, we were engaging in the Sacrament of Green Euphoria. What else would we do?”

  Andrew stepped back for a second. His mother cultivated naturalistic principles instead of exterminating Harriet. Quite interesting. The animate plants meditated, breathing together simultaneously.

  Herb said, “Now, if the Son of Nature wouldn’t mind, I think Mother Nature would like to continue her spiritual reading.”

  “Please,” Andrew reiterated. This whol
e process felt quaint to Andrew.

  “Thank you, dear. Now, where was I?” Marie said. Eyes focused now on the script, she started. “Ah, yes, Green Euphoria. So I say to you my fellow Plant, let us blossom our eudaimonia and shine our internal being. The inflorescent light of Esse transcends our physical life each day and everyday. Esse always knew our destiny, our destiny to seek contentment from preservation of our ecology. We work. We breathe. We pray. And in repentance, Esse gives us her energy. Esse wants peace. Esse wants your loyalty, your love, and your determination. Only through chlorophyll, transpiration, and guttation can we achieve concord and a never-ending embellishment of tranquility.”

  Andrew interrupted. “Don’t you mean ‘through blood, sweat, and tears’?” All the animate plants gasped and overarched their backs. They couldn’t believe what Andrew said.

  Herb said, “How dare you say blasphemy for a second time! This is despicable! You crossed the line too many times. Son of Nature must be expunged.”

  Andrew felt puzzled. “Shouldn’t have Harriet been killed too?”

  Three people yelled at the same time: Harriet, Marie, and Herb, as well as the entire animate plant crowd. After this vocalized collision ended, Harriet said, “You leave me outta this Andrew!”

  Andrew yelled, “No, how ‘bout you shut up. I came to rescue you, but instead, you engage in some peculiar ritual. And now you all want to kill me? This is unreal!” Turmoil had erupted.

  “They forgave me!” Harriet professed. “I told them who I really was and what horrible things you did to me. If anything, you should die. You’re a scumbag for leaving me stranded in the forest for almost two days!”

  Herb said, “Son of Nature, we’ve told you many times already to unleash your rational side. Your inability to do this gives us a hard time as a community. You dwindle down our options on how to deal with you. Trust me, Son of Nature, of course we wouldn’t want to kill you. We see you as a leader and valued member in our society.”