Spirit Intercom

by Sean Adami

  Andrew asked, “So why kill me then?”

  Herb said, “Because enough is enough! That is why. Countless misdemeanors against Allure should not be ignored. Like I told you before, you must be aware of your actions and what you say. We have determined what creature you are.”

  “Come on!” Andrew exclaimed. “Surely you can forgive me like you did to Harriet. I’m a valued member while she’s just an unwanted intruder. I don’t see the relationship.” He walked up to get closer to Herb’s face.

  Herb paused. “It’s up to Mother Nature to decide your fate.” He stepped back from Andrew’s face.

  This was the point where Andrew backed off. This was the make-or-break moment of his life. Anything said could tick her off, so he remained silent. The only thing he did do was attempt to make a wide-eyed look with his eyes.

  His mother hesitated for a second, glancing at his son’s eyes. She was neither smiling or frowning. Her expression: blank.

  Andrew thought, if I die in this dimension, what happens again? The interdimensional communicator did not respond because Andrew told it to be quiet.

  Her lips finally relocated. She said, “I am quite disappointed with my son going against our culture, but I do see his point of forgiveness. Moreover, he is also my son. I do think that Andrew should unleash more of his rational side as well. I come to the conclusion that we forgive my son and move on from this.” She formed a bittersweet smile. And so did Andrew.

  The animate plants nodded their heads (left and right) and returned to their sitting position. Herb picked up the baby that was on the floor. He said, “You’re not just off the hook yet, Son of Nature. You owe this baby an apology.” He brought the baby to the face of Andrew.

  Andrew thought, how did this baby end up in the Spirit World again?

  He realized something. Way back when he asked his father about the baby being on the Spirit World sensors, his father lied to him. The baby had been in the Spirit World ever since his first entry into the labs. Andrew’s mind was folded all over the place. He now had to bring his attention to a talking plant.

  Andrew said, “I didn’t do anything wrong to it. What do you mean?”

  “No!” Herb unleashed. “You did do something wrong. You let this baby suffer with Harriet this whole time!”

  Andrew said, “That’s not true! She just found it recently and—”

  Marie shouted, “Enough with the arguing! It’s just too much. If we could please just settle down and return back to our scripture.”

  Herb backpedaled and said, “Of course, Mother Nature. I agree as well.”

  “Me too,” Andrew said, “I’m outta here. I can’t handle all these naturalist ideals. Peace.” Holding two fingers in the air, he left the entire crowd. He walked through the entangled branches until he noticed no ladder was present. “Um, as a side note, how do I get down from here?” He was expecting stubbornness from them.

  “Just jump off. Your plant fibers will be able to handle the fall,” said Herb. “Oh wait, I’m sorry. You don’t have leg fibers. So maybe you’re just stuck here.”

  Andrew’s prediction: strikingly true. Everyone was still in their original standing positions, staring at his failed attempt to leave. Andrew returned himself to the group. His patience lessened. His energy to speak declined. Again, he put his face up to Herb’s. “So then how about you carry me, like you did the other five times, huh? Or is that asking for too much?”

  Herb said, “You are in the attendance of the scripture reading. It is impermissible to leave. It’s code of conduct.”

  Andrew tightened his fists. “If you don’t get me down, I’ll blend you into some venus flytrap extract and cure some of your cancerous orders.”

  Herb hissed. The whole animate plant gang hissed. Andrew didn’t bother. He wanted their disapproval. He was fed up with their stubborness. Harriet, on the other hand, laughed, covering up her mouth in secrecy. Andrew’s mother frowned.

  Harriet kept on laughing, yet Marie noted this. Mother Nature asked, “What’s so funny, Harriet?”

  Unable to contain her temperament, she opened her eyes. Trying to suppress her laughs, she said, “I’m sorry. It’s just, it’s just—” She blurted out in laughter. “That joke was so spot on! You have no idea how well that was crafted.” The whole crowd still had disappointment in their eyes. “You know, you know, the fact that venus flytrap extract is known to be a preventative procedure against cancer and the fact that Andrew called Herb’s orders cancerous made it a million times better!” She continued in laughter.

  Herb was steamed. And so was Marie. Herb proclaimed, “Hush! This uprooting will not be tolerated!” Harriet laughed again from this unforeseen plant pun Herb cluelessly made. “Son of Nature and Harriet, I force you guys to leave immediately. Shruburb would be happy to escort the two of you. No questions!”

  Harriet’s laughter quickly terminated. Awkwardness indulged Andrew and anger overthrew his vibes. He and Harriet were soon acquainted with Shruburb by their side. Retaining a blue color majority on its head, Shruburb said, “Hello, fellas. I will carry you down this branchy steep. Cradle yourselves into my arms. Come on, now.”

  Andrew asked, “Harriet, you prefer the left or right arm?”

  Harriet said, “Why does that matter?” She entered the right arm.

  Andrew said, “Just being polite.” Cradled into the other arm, he saw his neck was considerably close to the strangler. The baby still remained on the floor, slowly wriggling in random directions. Herb and his mother eyed each other in disappointment. Shruburb approached the end of the branches. The animate plant, carrying two human beings, bounced off, plummeting down hundreds of feet; however, Shruburb began to lose mid-air balance. The plant’s left side was aimed towards the ground. Absorbing the grassy mud, the plant’s left side remained unaffected; yet, Andrew got crumpled. Too much G-force pursued his left hip, leaving the bone possibly broken.

  Shruburb repositioned its body and profoundly threw Harriet and Andrew to the floor.

  Harriet said, “Thanks for being polite.”

  Shruburb said, “At your service.”

  She said, “That was directed towards Andrew.”

  “Well, I hope the two of you will be more respectful at the next reading,” the talking plant said.

  Harriet answered, “Well said,” as Andrew grimaced his face in pain. He attempted to gain distance from her. He didn’t want a strangler by his side who talked shit on him.

  “I must return back,” Shruburb said. He rapidly climbed the tree branches and attended back to the naturalist readings.

  Andrew said, “Hey, Harriet! How about you stop being a little bitch all the time, and fuck off!”

  “Andrew, I’m done with you!” she exclaimed. “All you do is think about yourself. You can’t fathom the stuff I went through in the forest! I had to work my way out of this forest to get to you. It was unbearably difficult, and it was all your fault. If your pathetic pride didn’t cloud your mind so much, then I wouldn’t have had to deal with any of this!”

  “That doesn’t give you the right to strangle me! If I wanted to, I could easily strangle your throat too!”

  She exhausted a tiresome chuckle. “Yeah, well. I think that was a fair action I did in reaction to what you did. I was cold, hungry, and alone out there! Several creatures attempted to attack me, but I managed to run my heart out! What I went through was ten times worse than your situation! You were regarded as a king while I was on the mud floor, struggling to even live!” Harriet was yelling at the top of her lungs.

  Herb from up above heard this loud commotion. Poking his head out of the high-altitude tree branches, he said, “Hey! Be at peace with each other!” His head left Andrew’s sight.

  Still fed up with her, Andrew said, “Yeah, Harriet. How about you be less disruptive, and respect the reading.”

  She yelled, “I’m never forgiving you! You will always be a selfish douchebag in my eyes!”

  Andrew stood closer to her.
“Yeah, well—” He paused, having trouble coming up with something. “I don’t care!” He crossed his arms together. Above him, he saw Shruburb go airborne, falling down towards their direction until he landed near them.

  “Herb sent me,” Shruburb pronounced. “You guys have to relax. You guys are too loud.” He sat on the mud. Looking at Harriet and Andrew, he said, “Take a seat, Son of Nature. Take a seat, Harriet.”

  Harriet closed her eyes in relief and sat down. Shruburb said, “So what seems to be the conflict between you guys?”

  “What are you, a therapist or something?” Andrew said.

  “No,” Shruburb said. “But I want to do the best I can to eliminate this hostility between the two of you.”

  Andrew began reminiscing his time when he was at marriage counseling. The counseling tried to seal the bridge of his marriage, but that ended up not being the case for him. Divorce had gotten the best of him.

  Focused on the present, Andrew sat down as well. He said, “This will get us nowhere. It won’t help.”

  Shruburb said, “Son of Nature, I will do my best. Now, tell me what the issue is.”

  “I think you know what the issue is,” Harriet said, “I kind of made a scene with my yelling in front of everyone at the religious revival.”

  The plant said, “Okay. Andrew, what caused you to abandon her, according to what she previously stated?”

  “I left her because she was slowing me down,” Andrew complained. “She kept on coming up with excuses and was being a real pain in the ass.”

  Harriet yelled, “Every new word that comes from your mouth increases my desire to strangle you again!”

  Shruburb loudly said, “Let’s calm down,” but each word deteriorated after the next in noise level. “Son of Nature, you must resort to less pride and more humility. Your self-arrogance has clouded up your mind.”

  “Exactly what I said!” Harriet renounced.

  “Hey,” Andrew stated. He remained silent for a bit. He decided to use more contemplation instead of words. “I guess you guys are right. I can be, at times, selfish and in my own world.”

  “You sure can,” Harriet repeated. Shruburb hushed her.

  “And I guess I need to be more caring. I can respect that. I see what you guys mean.”

  Shruburb said, “Good, good.” He slowly stood up with his leg fibers. “So you guys are at peace now?”

  Andrew and Harriet said the same thing at a slightly awkward timing. “I guess.”

  “Good, good,” Shruburb said again. He immediately departed and arrived at the tall tree branches.

  Andrew’s perception of time kicked in. It wasn’t day but night. Now with Shruburb gone, he could be open with Harriet. His conscience had changed and his perspective had changed. It was time to be a hundred percent honest. “Hey, Harriet. I’m so sorry for leaving you behind like that. I was a complete dick and hope that you can forgive me.”

  What Andrew said this time hit differently for Harriet. She said, “I appreciate what you said. That was nice.” The original mean look in her eyes had shrunk.

  He felt content with what he said. Maybe his emotions needed to be more compassionate. He said, “Again, I’m sorry.”

  She developed a smile. “I forgive you.” He was surprised with what she said. Forgiveness sparked a bit of joy in him. He was also surprised that Harriet swooped in for a kiss on his cheek. Andrew smiled too with partially blushed cheekbones. He raised his body up and offered his hand to her. Grabbing his palm, she rose up with the help of Andrew’s bodyweight.

  She asked, “So, where do we go now?” The animate plants were still practicing their ritualistic readings in the tree branches above. The night sky was black as pitch.

  “Um, I can go back to my teepee.” He just remembered about the crazed monkeys. The vibes felt good tonight for Andrew. “I think that I should go this way, and you should go that way. See how your living station will go down.”

  She casually said, “Okay.” The two gained distance until their bodies were socially distant. Finding the Allure flower, he found his way towards the teepee. The first thing he saw at his teepee was that the monkeys were fully grown: arm scale, leg scale, and head scale. They were in their original positions, waiting patiently for absolutely nothing. Passing by them, he laid down in his teepee. Coming in one by one, the monkeys entered his room, all looking at him with their singular eye gland s. He questioned their extreme closeness. He said, “Get out! Give me some space.” The monkeys’ intellect was too low to understand literal comprehension. Andrew sternly shifted his finger out the entrance. Understanding this message, they yelled sporadic murmurs. He repeated the same gesture in an even firmer manner. The monkeys finally left the teepee, continuing their murmurs outside. Andrew slept.

  CHAPTER 15:

  Why did Herb reveal the factions?

  Did Herb just want his reaction?

  The monkey’s eyes truly appeared grotesque.

  Andrew saw these as too picturesque.

  An interrupting noise awoke him. Waking up to the start of a new artificial day, Andrew heard faint talking, but he couldn’t make out the words. Andrew also had a turbulent dream last night (according to his recent brain activity). Coming out of the teepee, he saw small miniature structures constructed from tree branches. There were five of them, equaling to the same amount of monkeys that pestered him last night. Peeking through the structure, he saw a monkey, eyes closed. They were called the Builders for a reason. The monkeys opened both eye sockets and screeched profusely. In accord, each monkey woke up from the screech and disassembled their structure, clawing at it erratically. Leaving their branches behind, the monkeys collectively sprinted away as a group.

  Andrew climbed his occasional vine to get on top of the Allure flower. A few paces from him, there was an animate plant herd, lined up with two human figures by their side: his mother and Harriet. In front of the herd appeared an animate plant attached with some foreign apparel. A small brown kilt overhanged on its head. Andrew took the courage to approach them, even though it did not require that much.

  The plant wearing the kilt spoke to the crowd. Before listening to them, he asked, “What’s going on?” The speaker and the animate plants still had their eyes locked on to each other.

  Growing impatient, Andrew asked, “Hello? Son of Nature here.” His mother and Harriet caught eyes with him. Also, Herb was there, protecting the beloved queen of the land. The speaker dissolved its speech.

  Andrew had a closer look at the speaker. It looked like a gypsy with the clothes it wore. “Why are you guys listening to this gypsy?”

  Herb said, “She is telling us something important that has come up. She just began speaking, and you interrupted her. Channel your intellect more before you speak, Son of Nature. Go on, Hedga. Continue.”

  Hedga, the gypsy, said, “A disruption in Allure is at stake. It seems as if Esse is unbalanced in our universe, and we are in trouble. I am told that a greater power will obliterate us all.”

  A plant in the hoard asked, “What kind of power?”

  She said, “A power so powerful that not even Esse can protect us. Esse has made a calling to us from a source.”

  Another plant asked, “What kind of source?”

  She said, “A source so sourceful that many fear to approach it. Mother Nature bore this source. This source is the rift. I am told that Esse has the answer for our salvation. Esse can only communicate this message if someone goes to the source. If someone has enough courage to travel to this rift, our kind can be saved. The question is who is up for it?”

  As if the ritualistic readings weren’t bizarre enough, Andrew couldn’t believe that they were now engaging in existential prophecies. He said, “Wait a minute. You guys actually believe in this stuff?”

  Hedga attracted her sight to Andrew. “You’re the Son of Nature, aren’t you?”

  “Yeah, I am but that doesn’t matter,” he said. “Are you guys kidding me with this?”

  S
he said, “You’re the one who should go. It all makes sense now. It was the Son of Nature’s destiny to recover the source his mother bore.”

  “Wait, what?”

  “Esse gives hope to all. Son of Nature gives hope! We will be saved!” The whole crowd cheered. She said, “So it’s settled. He will journey once Esse sets before the night. We just need one more person to help guide him through this journey. Quite possibly two.”

  Andrew was confused out of his mind. “Hold up! Hold up! This is all bullshit. There is no Esse or rift that you preach of. I’m not agreeing to any of this.”

  Harriet said, “I’ll go with him.”

  Immediately after, Herb said, “Me too.”

  A new voyage was planned for Andrew before he could even go against it. He said, “Yo, is anyone listening to me?”

  Herb nodded left and right and said, “Yes and you have no choice. You must go. The fate of Plant rests in your hands.”

  Andrew said, “But none of this is true. Absolutely none of it makes sense. Say whatever you want, but I’m not crossing half the world for just a religious purpose. This ain’t a pilgrimage!”

  Herb fully opened his venus flytrap jaw, revealing each sharp prong in his mouth. “I am known to be an herbivore, but if I wanted to, you could be my first dinner to mark my carnivorous transition.”

  This was clearly a threat to Andrew, so he kind of had no other choice, sadly. He sighed in disappointment and fear. Backing up from the dominant plant, he looked at the gypsy plant and said, “I guess I’m going then.” Having already heard a cheer from them, he didn’t want to hear another cheer. Expecting their reaction, the animate plant gang did not say a peep. Silence was the only noise present. The crowd slowly began to disperse until there was no one left other than the people he knew of.

  The gypsy, the strangler, the mother, the baby, and the counselor looked at Andrew. The gypsy left, the strangler departed, the mother fled, the baby disappeared, and the counselor escaped. Only Andrew stood on the flower.