Lasting Damage

by Isabelle Aren

  “I have to run out for a few minutes,” she said. Chloe narrowed her eyes and stared at her until Jane panicked and blurted out the truth. “Robin texted me. She wants me to meet her for a quick cup of coffee”

  “Christ.” Chloe swore under her breath. “You’re kidding, right?”

  Jane looked down the hallway to her bedroom. She could hear Harper moving around and knew time wasn’t her friend. “It’s just a cup of coffee.”

  “Does Harper know?”

  “No,” Jane whispered. “She doesn’t need to because it’s not a big deal.”

  “If it’s not a big deal why aren’t you telling her?” Chloe cocked an eyebrow and watched Jane squirm under her questioning.

  “I just need to clear up a few things.” Jane replied.

  “It’s dishonest.” Chloe took a slow sip of her coffee before continuing. “You shouldn’t be so willing to put your relationship with Harper at risk. The two of you just patched things up and you trying very hard to screw it up.”

  “That’s not what’s happening here.” Jane

  “Does Harper know you’re going on dates with-”

  “They’re not dates.” Jane interrupted. “Look, there are a few things I have to straighten out with Robin, stuff Sarah said that deserves clarification.”

  Chloe crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head. “I hope you know what you’re doing,” she remarked, her eyes filling with disappointment.

  “So do I,” Jane said as she turned away and made a beeline for the door.

  14.

  Harper was at the kitchen table, her first cup of coffee and a new stack of papers when Alice rushed in with a panicked expression on her face.

  “Hi,” she gave her a wave before returning to her work.

  “Where’s Riley?” Alice steepled her fingers and pressed them to her lips. “Is he still here?”

  “Bathroom.” Harper informed her.

  Alice nodded and lowered her gaze to the floor. Harper assumed she was going to hold the pose until her brother returned and was surprised when she cleared her throat and whispered, “I told you she was going to do it.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Jane,” Alice said her sister’s name with such righteous indignation it sounded like a curse. “I told you she was only using you to get back at Robin.”

  “So you did.” Harper agreed with as little emotion as she could. Chloe and Lily had already warned her that Alice was on a tear this morning and there was no use in trying to reason with her.

  “People never believe me,” she grumbled as she began to walk around the table. “They don’t listen to a word I say and then the wonder why things unravel the way they do.”

  Harper looked back down at the papers in front of her. She was doing her best to stay focused until Riley came back, but with Alice circling like a hungry bird, it was nearly impossible.

  “You have no idea what’s going on, do you?” Alice stopped walking, put both hands on the table and grinned at her. “You’re just sitting here waiting for someone to put you out of your misery.”

  Harper stopped what she was doing and watched as Alice started circling again. “Why don’t you sit down so we can talk about it?”

  “I can’t sit,” Alice said with a shake of her head. “If I sit all the thoughts will fall out and I won’t remember what I need to tell you.”

  Harper stood up. She had a nagging feeling Alice was getting ready to pounce and she wanted to be prepare to either run for the door or defend herself. “What do you need to tell me?”

  Alice ran her hands over the top of her head, she pulled her hair back and let it fall in wild waves around her shoulders. “She out with Robin right now.”

  “Robin?”

  “Yes. They’re on a date.” She nodded furiously. “I overheard Chloe trying to talk her out of it, but Jane said that she needed to see Robin. She said she needed an answer to something.”

  “Okay.” Harper backed up when Alice stopped to stare at her. As much as she’d like to think she had the ability to defend herself in a fight she didn’t. The people who raised her were practiced non-violence. They were pacifists and hemp-wearing vegans.

  “You don’t understand what I’m saying.” Alice’s voice blossomed with the same urgency reflected in her eyes. “She was in love with her. Desperately in love.”

  “She was seventeen.” Harper swallowed the kernel of fear that sat at the edge of her throat.

  “The first thing you have to understand is that I love my sister but she’s not a good person.” Alice pinched the bridge of her nose with one hand and held the other out as if to stop an oncoming train. “She’s got this amazing act, convincing people that she’s something she’s not, but it’s all a lie.”

  “Alice,” Harper began. “Why don’t you sit down? You look stressed.”

  “She works so hard to get people to see me as irrational and out of control, but you have to trust what I’m saying,” she pleaded. “I’m not trying to hurt you but I’m the only one who’s going to be honest. Everyone else in Jane’s life is either too scared of her or depended on her for money and drugs. Lily and Chloe will never do anything against her because she keeps them supplied with cash and pills, and Riley’s afraid that she’ll start something with Mom.”

  “Why don’t we wait for Riley? It would be better if you told the both of us?”

  “Like I said, I love my sister.” Alice pressed both hands to her chest and leaned forward as if she were trying to plead a hopeless case. “I don’t have the stomach to sit back and watch her do this to one more person.”

  “Alice, I know you’re trying to help but I think we should wait for your brother,” she stammered. “Or maybe Lily or Chloe? You can stay here and I’ll go get them.”

  “I don’t need you to get anyone else. I don’t have anything to say to them because this is all about the lie she told you.”

  “Alice, Please.” Harper felt like her face was on fire. She was in so far over her head she doubted there was a way out that didn’t involve Alice taking her to the floor. “Just sit down.”

  “She met Sarah,” she hissed.

  “Jane and I aren’t tethered at the wrist.” Harper tried to explain but her words only seemed to make Alice’s face darken with anger. “She can meet with whoever she wants. Jane and Sarah were friends-”

  “Sarah was never her friend!” Alice screamed. “Jane hated Sarah! She probably still hates her which is why she’s trying to get back together with Robin!”

  “Alice?” Riley asked as he came up behind her. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m keeping Harper safe from Jane.” Alice spun on her heels. “She lied to her. She’s with Robin right now.”

  Harper took a step back, the color in Alice’s face drained to a painful shade of white that even her purple lipstick couldn’t hide and her eyes fluttered for a second before she grabbed for the chair in front of her.

  “Shit,” Riley swore as he caught Alice in his arms. “Call 911 and help me empty her pockets.”

  15.

  Jane regretted her choice of casual clothing the second she saw Robin standing outside the coffee shop. She was holding two extra large cups of coffee and dressed head to toe in Prada.

  As she walked closer she reminded herself that it didn’t matter and she should’ve expected as much. Robin always made it a point to be better dressed than anyone else so feeling like a miserable slob came with the pleasure of being in her company.

  Jane took a deep breath and told herself to keep moving forward. Robin looked good. Short red nails, Coffee colored hair styled into a sleek, angled bob that highlighted her graceful neck and spectacular cheekbones. Robin, true to form, was all angles and lines and the very best money could buy.

  A true power lesbian if she’d ever seen one.

  “For you,” Robin said as Jane got close enough to hand over one of the cups. “Real sugar. Real cream. Three shots of espresso.”

  “I see you
remembered.” Jane replied.

  “You’re the only person I know who drinks it that way,” Robin eyed her carefully before taking a sip. “Everyone else wants almond milk, half-decaf and a teaspoon of stevia.”

  “Good thing I’m not everyone.” Jane sighed as she popped off the plastic lid and let some of the steam escape. “I guess we’re skipping over the customary greetings?”

  “Seemed unnecessary,” Robin shrugged. “It’s not like we don’t know one another.”

  “And it’s not like we’re here to catch up or talk about the good old days.” Jane put the lid back on her drink and remembered how much she didn’t like other people ordering her coffee. “Should we go inside and sit or maybe walk around or something?”

  Robin stared at her as if she’d just said something particularly stupid before she nodded and moved away from the wall. “Walking sounds good.”

  Jane tightened her grip on the cup. She figured the easiest course of action was to let her coffee companion decide which direction she wanted them to go. Robin, never one to hesitate, turned right and started walking away from the direction that Jane had come from.

  “You and Sarah?” she asked as she fell into step beside Robin. “What’s going on with the two of you?”

  “Besides the fact that we delight in mistreating one another?” Robin’s laughter sounded heavy, as it filled the air in front of them. For a second Jane imagined that it was a physical thing, like rain or snow and they were walking through it to get to their chosen destination. She could see how it would cling to them, slowing their steps until movement became impossible.

  Jan decided to try another tactic before she gave up on the conversation before it had a chance to begin. “Maybe we should start with why you and I are having coffee?”

  “I felt the need to warn you.” Robin brought the cup to her lips and took a sip. “She has a tendency to become fixated on people.”

  “I’m going to assume it’s not the good kind of fixated.” Jane responded.

  Robin didn’t say anything else until they’d cleared the next cross walk. “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Sure?” Jane answered.

  Robin took another sip of her coffee before asking, “Did she try to fuck you?”

  “No.” Jane was grateful that she had an honest answer to the question even though her brain was foggy with guilt. “I’m not really sure what she was trying to do. She kept talking about how pathetic I was and that you needed to have someone you could rescue and the two of you could rescue me together and it would save your relationship.”

  “Please tell me you didn’t encourage her.” Robin groaned.

  “Me?” Jane shook her head. “Not my circus. Not my monkeys.”

  “That’s a good description of the situation.” Robin laughed again, this time it sounded sad and a little broken. “Circuses and monkeys. Sarah and I have become angry primates.”

  Jane had a joke sitting on the tip of her tongue, something about flinging shit, but the depth of hurt in Robin’s eyes kept her from unleashing it. “She also told me that she has a tendency to stray.”

  “Her word,” Robin said. “Not mine.”

  “Of course not, you’re a lawyer.”

  “What gave me away?”

  “The suit.” Jane told her. “It was either lawyer, banker or funeral director.”

  “Please tell me I don’t look like a bank teller.” Robin scowled.

  “You’d rather look like a funeral director?”

  “God, yes.”

  “Fine, Loan officer.” Jane shot back before Robin could start grumbling again. “You don’t have the necessary giant wall of hair to be a bank teller.”

  “Or the love of cheap perfume.” She added.

  Jane followed Robin as she crossed the street and headed deeper into the Old Port before asking the question that was currently bothering her, “I’m still not sure I know what’s really going on.”

  “That makes two of us.” Robin answer was bitter, like unsweetened coffee left to steep too long. “She makes messes. People get hurt because she’s gotten sloppy and she expects me to clean things up for her.”

  “You must be tired.” It was the most comfort Jane could offer to old friend she detested. She simply acknowledged of her suffering and kept going. Jane didn’t think she owed Robin emotional support or connection and she doubted it was what Robin was looking for at the moment.

  “I miss having a sense of personal dignity.” Robin slowed her step enough to give Jane the lead. Her voice was curt, perfunctory, as if she were sitting in her office talking to a room of lawyers about the kinds of things lawyers talk about. “I blamed myself when I first found out what she was doing but now I’m not sure who to blame.”

  “For?” Jane asked.

  Robin stopped walking and made herself busy with the lid on her cup. “She likes to break people up. Disassembling happy couples is her specialty.”

  “I see,” Jane said.

  “You’re allowed to smirk,” said Robin. “Or talk about the irony of the situation.”

  “I’m making an attempt to be a better person.”

  “That’s very noble of you considering her goal was to get us back together so she could break us up again.” Robin announced.

  “She wants a redo on the break up?” Jane let out an exasperated groan. “That’s classic. Seven years later and she’s still trying to prove how much better she is than me at keeping a girlfriend. Is it why you guys moved back to Portland? So she can relive her high school triumphs?”

  “No, running into you was just an unexpected surprise for her.” Robin unbuttoned her sleek blazer and straightened out her crisp blue shirt underneath. “Sarah wore out her welcome in Burlington. It was a small city and there were only so many people she could piss off before she became a social liability.”

  “Portland’s not that big either.” Jane reminded her. “You start messing with people’s lives and everyone notices.”

  Robin tossed her empty cup into a trash can before picking up the pace. “It’s new and it’ll take her a while to really burn her bridges.”

  “Why do I get the impression you’re not sticking around to watch her go up in flames?”

  “Because I’m not.” Robin tucked her hair behind her years and kept her eyes on the sidewalk ahead of them.” “I have a job at a good firm in Boston and I’ve found her a therapist willing to work with her. The rent on the house is paid up for the next year and I won’t leave until she has a job. I know you probably think I’m being cruel but she’s out of control and isn’t willing to do anything about it.”

  “I never said you were being cruel.” Jane stated. “It does feel a little bit like when people trap raccoons and dump them somewhere else.”

  “That’s not what I’m doing.”

  Jane took a sip of her coffee and tried to think of what she was supposed to say. Most of the words floating around in her head felt hollow and insincere. When it came right down to it, she didn’t know why it mattered. Being thought of as an asshole was never much of a problem and seeing as how Robin’s escape plan was already in place she wasn’t obliged to extend any promise of kindness or friendship.

  As a matter of fact, Jane was more confused now than when she’d left her apartment. None of the questions she’d had had been addressed and all that’s she’d really accomplished was getting a free cup of coffee and an aerobic workout that she didn’t want.

  Jane opened her mouth to tell Robin she was done talking when her phone beeped.

  “Hold on,” Jane said before they could turn down one more street.

  Robin turned and watched Jane scramble to find her phone in her mess of a bag. It took an embarrassingly long time but she refused to apologize or look ashamed at carrying around so much crap. Instead she pulled it out as quickly as she could hit the message button. To her surprise, Lily’s number popped up and a message blinked to life on the screen.

  ‘Alice passed out

&nbs
p; Going to MM.

  Hurry’

  “Fuck,” She swore and tossed the phone back into her purse. She could feel her stomach turn, the sweet coffee sloshing around making her nauseas. At least she wanted to blame it on Robin’s coffee because putting the blame on Alice for one more thing didn’t feel right at the moment. “Fucking fuck.”

  Robin narrowed her eyes with every new curse word that came out of Jane’s mouth. “Everything okay?”

  “No,” she answered with as much calm as she could muster. “I need to get across town.”

  “What’s going on?” Robin reached out and placed a hand on Jane’s arm. It was strangely comforting and upsetting at the same time but Jane gave her credit for trying.

  “My sister’s been taken to Maine Med,” she stammered, the panic attack that always seemed to be threatening to rear its ugly head moved to the forefront of her brain. “Something happened. I’m not sure but I need to get over there.”

  “Come on.” she motioned as she turned around and started walking in the opposite direction. “I’ll drive you.”

  *****

  Harper sat on the bench outside the emergency room entrance at Maine Medical Center with Lily and Chloe waiting for Jane to show up. They’d tried staying in the waiting room but empty chairs were at a premium on Sunday afternoon, so they scoured the first floor until they found cheap candy bars and the worst coffee in town from a machine left over from the age of the dinosaur.

  With the exception of all the weirdness from Alice, Harper didn’t think it was the worst way to spend a few hours until a black Lexus pulled up across the street and two women got out and Lily’s head snapped around.

  Harper stuffed the last bite of her candy bar into her mouth and took notice at how different the women were dressed. The driver, was decked out in a sleek grey designer suit and looked like she chewed uncooked testicles for lunch while the passenger, dressed in cutoffs and a tee-shirt, looked surprisingly like Jane.

  “You’re shitting me,” Lily said under her breath.