Losing the Ice (Ice Series #2)

by Comeaux, Jennifer

  “You go feed the little ones,” Mrs. Cassar said. “And keep your chin up. You’ll hear from Joshua soon.”

  “Thanks for keeping an eye on him.”

  “Of course. I’d do anything for you two.”

  I thanked her again and put the phone on the granite island. After straining the noodles, I mixed the cheese powder with butter and milk and tossed everything together. Em had left meals in the freezer for me to heat up while she and Sergei were in China, but I had run out, so I’d made one of the few dishes my limited cooking skills could handle.

  Alex dove into his bowl, but Quinn just stared at hers.

  “This don’t look like Mommy’s mac and cheese,” she said.

  That’s because Mommy is a gourmet cook who makes the pasta from scratch and grates the cheese herself.

  “It’s different, but it’s still yummy,” I said.

  She wrinkled her nose and peered closer at the bowl. “Why it orange?”

  “Just try it. I’m sure you’ll like it.”

  “It’s good,” Alex said with a mouthful of noodles.

  “See? Trust your brother,” I said.

  Quinn shook her head, bouncing her blond curls. “I don’t like it.”

  “You haven’t even tasted it.”

  “I don’t wanna taste it.” She folded her arms. “It’s yucky.”

  I dropped my fork into my bowl with a loud clatter. I had enough problems in my life without dealing with a four-year-old’s stubbornness.

  “Quinn, you’re not getting anything else to eat unless you try it, so either taste it or go hungry.”

  She continued to pout, not moving an inch. Meanwhile, Alex couldn’t get the food into his mouth fast enough.

  “If you don’t eat, you’re not watching the movie later,” I said. “Alex and I will watch it together, and you’ll be up in your room all by yourself.”

  Her bottom lip began to quiver.

  “Uh-uh,” I said. “The waterworks aren’t going to get you anywhere, Missy. You know your mommy and daddy wouldn’t fall for it.”

  The doorbell rang, and I kept an eye on the table as I went to answer the door. I didn’t trust Quinn not to shovel some of her dinner into Alex’s bowl to make it look like she had eaten it. I’d caught her doing that once. I looked through the front window, and my heart leapt at the sight of Josh on the front porch.

  I opened the door, and he greeted me with a quiet, “Hey.”

  “Josh!” Quinn cried before I could get a word out.

  Her chair scraped the tile floor, and I whipped around. “Do not move from that table until you start eating.”

  “Bad time?” Josh asked.

  I looked back at him and motioned for him to come inside. “Quinn’s insisting her dinner is yucky without even trying it.”

  He walked into the kitchen and leaned over Quinn’s shoulder. “You don’t want mac and cheese? That’s the best.”

  I observed him closely. He looked and sounded more relaxed. More like himself.

  “You want some?” I asked. “I have extra.”

  “Sure.”

  He sat beside me with his bowl, and Quinn watched as he chewed and hummed with satisfaction.

  “You don’t know what you’re missing, Quinn,” he said.

  I smiled at hearing him tease her. Whatever he’d been up to the past week, it had definitely helped.

  Quinn picked up her fork and poked at the noodles, and I reminded her, “You just have to try it, and you’ll be able to watch the movie with us.”

  “You stay for the movie, Josh?” she asked.

  He turned to me with expectant eyes, and I took that as another good sign. A week ago he would have avoided hanging out with the twins.

  “You’re welcome to stay if you feel up to it. We’re watching WALL-E,” I said.

  “I’d love to,” he said.

  “Yay!” Quinn scooped up a few noodles and put them in her mouth. “Now can I watch the movie?”

  “Chew and swallow, please,” I said.

  She did as I asked and went back for more.

  “Not so yucky, is it?” I said and looked at Josh. “I plead with her to no avail, and you show up and she’s chowing down.”

  “Must be my irresistible charm,” he said with a tiny smile.

  My heart soared again as I got another glimpse of my sweet Josh. The one I’d been missing so much.

  We ate a few minutes in silence, but I couldn’t hold back the questions any longer. I had to know what Josh had done to pull himself out of his funk.

  “You seem to be feeling better,” I said.

  He took a sip of water. “I’m working on it. I saw the neuropsychologist.”

  “Oh, good.”

  “She gave me medication to help me sleep, and she suggested I meditate and do yoga to clear my head since I used to do hot yoga all the time.”

  “Mommy do yogi,” Quinn said.

  “Yes, she does,” I said.

  “I found some videos online so I can work out at home and save money,” Josh said.

  “It looks like it’s really helping.”

  “It is.” He toyed with his pasta and took a small bite. “Are you watching the twins until Em and Sergei get home?”

  “No, Em’s parents are coming to get them tomorrow.”

  “Then you should come over this weekend and do it with me.”

  My gulp of water went partially down my windpipe, and I coughed into my napkin.

  “Yoga,” Josh said with a knowing smile.

  My stomach turned all fluttery. Oh, how I’d missed that feeling he gave me.

  “Right.” I cleared my throat.

  “Grandma and Grandpa gonna take us to the froggie pond,” Quinn said.

  I laughed and corrected her, “Frog Pond.”

  She went on to ramble about the other things they were going to do in Boston, but I only caught bits and pieces. I was too busy still reveling in Josh’s smile.

  We all moved into the living room after dinner, and the twins sprawled out on the carpet in front of the huge TV. I popped in the DVD and sat beside Josh on the couch, leaving space between us. Even though he appeared to be in a better place emotionally, I was still a little gun-shy around him. I’d seen his mood change too quickly lately.

  Quinn and Alex giggled as WALL-E dug through a massive pile of garbage, and Josh turned up the volume on the remote before he shifted to face me.

  “I’m so sorry I’ve been taking out my frustrations on you. You didn’t deserve any of that,” he said.

  “I just wanted to be there for you and to help you.”

  “You did. You made me see I couldn’t do it by myself.”

  “So you’ve been happy with the doctor?”

  He nodded. “Yoga has really made a difference, and so has getting a good night’s sleep.”

  “Have you been working on the piano lessons?”

  “I’ve been trying, but I keep getting stuck and frustrated with it. I don’t know why it’s not coming back to me yet…” The familiar tightness in his face returned.

  “Don’t push it.” I put my hand on his arm. “It sounds like you’re on the right path, so just take your time.”

  He stared at my hand, and I worried “distant Josh” would reappear. I started to pull away, but he covered my hand with his and lifted his eyes to mine.

  “I won’t push, and I won’t push you away again.”

  He held my gaze, and I saw the look in his eyes I’d yearned to see. The look that said, I want to kiss you so badly. I wet my lips and leaned into him, and he bent his head toward mine.

  The twins howled with squeaky laughter, and Josh and I both halted, remembering we had company.

  I sighed. “Guess we should watch the movie.”

  Josh glanced at my mouth with longing, and I debated whether we could get away with making out without the twins noticing. They were glued to the TV…

  Josh slowly sat back, ending my debate, and I turned my attention to the m
ovie. While WALL-E fell in love with EVE, I sank deeper into the sofa, and the week of taking care of the twins caught up to me. I didn’t realize I had dozed off until I woke up to Quinn and Alex pointing and giggling and Josh smiling at me.

  I raised my head. “Is the movie over?”

  “Can we watch Toy Story now?” Alex asked.

  I looked at the clock on the cable box. “It’s time for bed.”

  He and Quinn whined and started a chorus of pleas.

  “I let you stay up late last night when I shouldn’t have,” I said.

  “Need some help getting them ready for bed?” Josh asked.

  I was about to take him up on his offer, but Quinn and Alex would never go to sleep as long Josh was there. I had to sacrifice more time with him for less commotion with the twins.

  “I think it’s best if I do it on my own. Your irresistible charm will keep the kids up.” I smiled.

  He chuckled and stretched his arms as he stood. Quinn and Alex jumped down and latched on to his legs.

  “Bye, Josh,” they said in eerily perfect twin tandem.

  He ruffled their blond heads. “I’ll see you again very soon.”

  When I finally pried them away from him, I walked him to the door. Before I could say anything, he wrapped me in a hug, holding me longer than he had in the past three weeks combined. I pressed my face to his neck and breathed in his familiar sweet scent.

  “Can you come over tomorrow?” he asked as he pulled back.

  Happy dancing ensued inside me. It felt so wonderful to be invited. To be wanted.

  “Yeah, I’m not working, so I can come by in the evening.”

  “Be ready to work up a sweat.”

  I lifted one eyebrow. “You’re not going to crank up the heater on me, are you? You know my issues with hot yoga.”

  He laughed. “I promise I won’t. But… I can’t guarantee it won’t get hot in there.”

  He gave me the same delicious smile as earlier, and he lowered his head down to mine, placing the softest of kisses on my lips. My toes curled into the rug. More, more, more was all I could think.

  “See you tomorrow,” he said.

  I watched him walk to his car, and I reluctantly went back inside. Quinn and Alex were jumping on the sofa, but I was too happy to give them a good lecture. Could things finally be getting back to normal? For real?

  ****

  Josh answered my knock on his door, and the first thing I noticed was the lack of a smile. He had his phone to his ear, and he paced into the living room as I shut the door behind me.

  “I understand, Mrs. Bates, but I have a set plan for Charlie and—”

  I put down my yoga mat and my duffel bag, and I leaned against the kitchen counter to watch Josh. Lines of tension marked his forehead. The relaxed version of him I’d seen the previous night was gone.

  “I can’t give you a definite date, but I’m trying my best—”

  The conversation with one of his students’ moms was obviously not going well. He couldn’t even finish a sentence without being interrupted.

  “I’m sorry you feel you have to do that. Charlie was making great progress with me.”

  The call lasted only a minute longer, and Josh tossed the phone onto the couch. “Just lost one of my students. Charlie’s mom doesn’t want to wait until I start teaching again. I guess I can’t blame her. Who knows how long it’ll be before I can freaking remember how to play.”

  “Maybe you can talk to her once you’re giving lessons again. Try to get her to switch him back.”

  “He probably won’t be the only one I lose. I’m surprised the others haven’t left yet.”

  I stayed quiet as I knew nothing I said would help. We’d been doing this same song-and-dance for weeks.

  Josh rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry. I didn’t ask you here to listen to my issues.”

  “I don’t want you to feel like you can’t talk to me. I just want to help you get to a better place.”

  He came over and stood in front of me. “You are. And I’m trying to get there. Some days are just better than others.”

  I reached up and touched his cheek, and he tugged lightly on the strings of my hoodie.

  “I did get some good news today,” he said. “Ronnie said I can bus tables until I can play again, so I won’t have to survive on cereal and ramen noodles.”

  “That’s awesome. It’ll be great to have you back there.”

  “I think it’ll be good to have something to occupy me. Less time to sit around stressing out about things.”

  “And you’ll be back on the ice Tuesday, so you’ll have even less down time.”

  He avoided my gaze and said, “Yeah,” sounding nowhere near as excited as I’d thought he’d be.

  “We should umm… we should get started.” He pointed his thumb at the TV. He’d already hooked up his laptop to it.

  He rolled out his mat in the small space between the TV and the couch, and he pulled his T-shirt over his head. I stopped while flattening my mat.

  “I thought we weren’t doing hot yoga,” I said.

  “We’re not. I can move better without the shirt.” A hint of a grin curled his lips, and he patted his ripped stomach. “Is this too distracting for you?”

  Distracting? I thought as I happily became visually reacquainted with his chiseled abs. More like, How I am going to keep my hands off you?

  “Not at all,” I said coolly, kicking off my sneakers and removing my hoodie. “Is this distracting for you?”

  His grin spread to his eyes, which slowly took in my sports bra and fitted yoga pants. Goosebumps prickled the back of my neck.

  “I’m good,” he mimicked my cool delivery, but the lingering look he gave me said he totally wasn’t.

  I tightened my ponytail and did a few light stretches as Josh pulled up the video online. When the instructor began her warm-up directions, I closed my eyes and focused only on her soothing voice. I could see why Josh liked that particular video. The instructor had the most calming voice I’d ever heard.

  For the next hour I was completely in the zen zone, working my body into positions I never expected to feel good. It had been a long time since I’d done yoga, but I’d have to consider adding it to my workout regimen. During a few of the transitions, Josh and I almost touched since we were in such a small space, but I made sure to keep just out of reach. I didn’t want to risk knocking Josh out of his zone. Any physical contact with him and all his hotness would definitely take me out of mine.

  As we completed our final cool down position, sitting cross-legged with our hands folded near our hearts, I closed my eyes once again and inhaled the peaceful energy surrounding me. Josh and I continued to sit quietly until I heard him moving next to me. I opened my eyes and found him looking at me with the smile I’d expected at the door.

  “Did you enjoy it?” he asked.

  “Very much. I feel almost… weightless now.”

  He stood and offered his hand, and I took it. Standing eye-level to his glistening chest really made me feel like I was floating… on a bubble of desire that was about to burst. But I wasn’t going to make the first move. I had to let him come to me when he was ready. As torturous as it was to wait.

  “Are you hungry?” he asked. “I usually make a smoothie after I finish.”

  I was hungry alright. Starving. But not for food.

  “That sounds good.”

  Josh assembled the ingredients for the strawberry banana smoothies, and I took out a knife to slice the fruit. I started cutting, and he loaded the ice cubes into the blender and stole two strawberry slices from me.

  “Hey.” I swatted his hand.

  He smiled devilishly as he chewed, and he watched me with growing intensity. I quickly went back to cutting to busy my hands. Otherwise, who knew where they would end up.

  Josh moved behind me in the tiny kitchen, and I thought he was going to the fridge, but he stopped. So close his body heat mixed with mine. I sliced through a s
trawberry but froze when Josh’s hand closed around my hip. He squeezed gently and slid his fingers around to my stomach. They grazed my bare skin, and I drew in a breath.

  His lips left a hot path from my shoulder to my neck, and I dropped the knife and leaned back into him, needing all the support for my weightless body. He nipped at my earlobe and snaked his arm all the way around my waist.

  “I need you,” he said low against my ear.

  The bubble exploded.

  I whirled around and tackled his mouth with mine, unleashing a month’s worth of frustration and anticipation. His hands framed my face and then combed into my hair, pulling my ponytail loose. I kissed his lips, his neck, his chest… everywhere I could reach. His mouth tasted strawberry sweet, while his skin was salty with sweat.

  He pressed me against the fridge, and the cool steel hit my back. But Josh’s lips and hands were all over me, keeping me on fire. He lifted me up, and I locked my arms around his shoulders and my legs around his waist. As he carried me into the bedroom, we dove into another deep kiss, not breaking apart until we fell onto the bed. Josh pushed up on his hands and stared down at me, and I feared he was going to pull away from me again.

  But he didn’t.

  And for the first time in weeks, everything felt so right and so good. Better than good.

  Perfect.

  ****

  I slowly opened my eyes and reached out in the darkness, expecting to feel Josh’s warm body beside me, but my hand landed on a vacant pillow. I sat up and saw a faint glow of light shining in the living room. Why hadn’t Josh stayed with me? We hadn’t been that close, that connected in so long. I wanted to hold onto it as hard I could.

  I slipped out from under the blanket with a shiver and grabbed one of Josh’s sweaters that was thrown over the chair. It fit me like a dress and was cozy and warm. I padded to the doorway but didn’t go any farther.

  Josh sat at his keyboard, wearing headphones and studying the keys. He pressed one and then another and then two at a time, all the while shaking his head. Over and over he tried key after key until he tore the headphones from his ears and bent forward, gripping his head in his hands.

  I didn’t hesitate to go to him as I had been doing. I went over to the bench and sat with him, speaking only with a soft kiss on his shoulder.