Carried Away

by Elizabeth Monvey

  At the top, he hopped off the lift chair easily and made his way to the slope. He turned on his transceiver and then pulled his goggles down. Tol took one look at the course before pushing off with his poles and tucking himself in. The ride was exhilarating. It was freedom. The difficulty level wiped everything from his mind as he concentrated on the course, maneuvering around man-made obstacles and keeping the skis under him. The northern slope wasn’t one that was groomed or regulated by the resort, but that didn’t stop back-country skiers and snowboarders hopping on the trails. Hell, he often was one of them.

  He didn’t push himself to race fast or hard, but this was exactly what he needed to clear his head. He knew the risks of skiing on fresh snow, so he kept his senses alert. As he raced downhill, however, he flew over one drop and when he landed he knew he’d just made a mistake. Tol felt the snow under him began to crumble away, sliding forward like a giant tidal wave, and as he kept going downhill the avalanche started above him.

  Having skied for years he’d been caught in a couple of slides, so he didn’t panic.

  Quickly, he began to move to the side, trying to get away from the center of the fracture line. He looked around for a place to jump upslope but couldn’t see any point, so he headed toward the tree line, which would not only break the cascade, but give him something to grab onto. The snow was rolling fast, a little too fast, and before he could counteract what was happening his skis were ripped from under him and he tumbled into the sliding snow. Tol lost his poles and he found himself swimming through the thick suction pulling him down. Panic threatened to overwhelm him and just as he grabbed the ripcord to his airbag, his arm banged into something so hard that it went down and pain almost made him pass out. Knowing he’d be dead if he gave into the agony that threatened darkness, Tol reached with his good arm and pulled the ripcord. The two pillows billowed, helping to raise him above the snow. Whenever he could, he gulped deep breaths of air into his lungs, because all he could do at this moment was ride out the wave.

  Every second felt like an eternity as his mind battled not only the horror of the avalanche, but the burning torment of his arm and shoulder. Eventually he felt himself slow down. He still swam as best as he could with only one arm and fought to break through the top because the two things that would kill him were either the crushing weight of the snow or suffocation, and at this point he was more worried about suffocation. He didn’t want to die, not like this. Not now. With almost superhuman determination and strength, Tol curved the hand on his good arm around his mouth and let the momentum die away naturally.

  When he came to a sudden halt, he lay for a second just trying to determine if that was it. Would he slide anymore? He tried to move and couldn’t, but at least he had a pocket of air. His goggles still protected his eyes but all he saw around him was snow, and he couldn’t tell which was up or down. He pushed some spit out of his mouth and when it dripped away he knew he was facing down. Had he been facing up, the spit would’ve traveled up his face.

  As awareness crept back, Tol wiggled his one good arm through the cold, densely packed snow creating more room around his mouth, but without both it would be hard to dig himself out. Now he just had to keep breathing until help came.

  Chapter Five

  Jin sat at the breakfast table with his father on one side and his eighteen-year-old fiancée across from him. She kept stealing coquettish glances his way, as if he’d find her flirtation fascinating. It made him slightly sick to his stomach, hence the reason why he wasn’t eating. Her family was there, and the president of his sponsor company was there. It seemed that everyone who had some say in his life was in attendance.

  All except Tolliver, and he had more say than anyone. It didn’t escape his knowledge that Tolliver deserved so much better than what he was putting him through, and yet, Jin couldn’t let him go.

  He loved him.

  The simple realization hit him between the eyes. He loved Tolliver St. James and all he wanted was to be with him. Jin didn’t want the pressure and competition of trying to be the best. He’d been an Olympian, twice, which was more than most people ever achieved in their lives. But that wasn’t what he wanted for his future. He looked at his father and saw how old he was, how the crease between his eyes gave him a permanent frown. His father was never happy. He never smiled and he never said a kind word. Everything was about power and struggle and control, especially toward his only son. In shock, he finally admitted that what he felt for his father wasn’t love, or even gratitude. No, what he felt toward his father was a sense of debt. How sad that a man raised his child with feelings of being owned rather than loved, and with that epiphany came the conclusion that he had to sever ties with the Kang name. He’d willingly give it up if his father demanded it, but he couldn’t sit there and be the punching bag. He wouldn’t be the currency for his father’s business dealings anymore.

  But just as he was about to stand and declare his intentions, to break it off with the fiancée he never wanted in the first place, he saw Walter, Tolliver’s general manger, enter the private dining room and gesture to him. The panic in the man’s eyes had him rushing from his seat and running over to him.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “It’s Tolliver,” Walter said softly. “He’s not returned from his ski run.”

  “Where did he go?”

  “The northern slope. Off-trail. He said he’d radio in when he was done but he hasn’t.”

  Jin felt ice shoot through him. “How long?”

  “He should’ve arrived at the bottom thirty minutes ago.”

  “Did he have a transceiver on him?”

  “Yes.”

  “Come on,” Jin urged, turning toward the doors.

  “Jin!” His father yelled out, halting him, and Jin knew it was time. It was time to cut the apron strings. He turned and faced the man who might have contributed to his creation, but had never been there to nurture.

  “I can’t marry Ga Eul,” he stated loudly. As his father turned an ugly purple shade, he bowed toward Ga Eul’s family. “I mean no offense. She is a lovely girl. But I’m gay and I am in love with a man who needs my help right now, so I beg you to forgive me. Goodbye, Father.”

  With one last bow, he raced through the doors, following after Walter. As they made their way through the resort to the onsite ski patrol and rescue, he dug his cell phone out of his pants pocket and called Tolliver. It rang and rang before going to voicemail.

  “I made him put an air bag on,” Walter said. “I had this funny feeling something was going to happen.”

  “He’ll be all right,” Jin stated, and he believed it because he couldn’t imagine a world without Tolliver St. James in it. His heart simply refused to believe that it was missing its other half.

  They made it to the ski patrol shack where Walter had already contacted Search and Rescue. As soon as they made it inside, a group of skiers were around a map and the leader was sectioning off areas.

  “It’s a fairly straight run from the chair lift to the bottom, so in all likelihood these are the target areas to focus on.”

  He circled several drops.

  “Mr. St. James had a transceiver on him, so we’ll follow the signals,” the man continued. “It’s fresh snow out there and where there’s one avalanche there could be more. We’ll start out in groups of two, one pass over the area, and if no one spots anything we’ll continue with the next group. Listen for the transceiver signal. You know not to hit convex rolls and stay away from exposed rocks. Any questions?”

  “I want to go,” Jin said.

  The patrol leader looked at him steadily. “And who are you?”

  “Kang Jin-Pyoo,” he introduced himself. “I’m Tolliver’s boyfriend.”

  If he weren’t so scared he would’ve laughed at the eyebrows that went up. But the patrol leader didn’t even blink at the admission.

  “You’re a damn good Alpine skier, but this isn’t a race,” the man finally said.

  “W
ith all due respect, I know exactly what this is,” Jin replied. “The man I love is out there and I have absolute faith that he’s alive. I will find him.”

  The patrol leader took a deep breath and nodded. “Fine. You’ll be in the second sweep. Let’s hurry now, time is wasting.”

  Jin hurried to the locker to change and grab some skis. He would’ve preferred his own, but they didn’t have the time. Statically, the chances of survival were estimated at eight-five percent within fifteen minutes, fifty percent within thirty minutes, and twenty percent within one hour. They were rapidly approaching the one-hour mark.

  He was dressed and skied up as quickly as possible, and then he was off, heading to the lift. Some of the rescue team headed out on snowmobiles, but he knew he’d be better patrolling on skis. He trusted them more. As he sat on the lift, going higher and higher, he thought about last night and all the stupid things he’d said. He’d been scared to face his father, scared of what might happen.

  God, how childish.

  There was nothing more important than Tolliver and their relationship, and now he might not have the chance to confess his love. What would he do if Tol were dead?

  No. He couldn’t think that way.

  He wouldn’t think that way.

  He might have some growing up to do but he’d be damned if he gave up on Tol. At the top of the slope he contained his impatience because all he wanted to do was ski down that mountain and find his love.

  They were getting pings on their receiver so they knew the general route to take to find Tolliver. He had to bide his time. He’d never been caught in an avalanche but he’d been buried in snow before and it was a disorienting feeling. You weren’t sure which way was up or down and it was hard to catch your breath. Tolliver was smart. He’d do all the things he should do to survive an avalanche and when he was found Jin vowed not to waste any more time on minor things.

  Tol was right. They belonged to one another.

  The grid patterns were marked off and the first set of skiers went down, radioing back frequently with their progress. They were the ones looking for snow disturbance or run off, and they were also making sure there weren’t any other rolling snow problems. Jin and his partner were given the go ahead so they pushed off, tucking down as they began the first descent. Jin could hear the faint sound of the snow bikes in the distance but he was focused on finding anything out of the ordinary.

  He pulled a little farther away from his partner than he was supposed to, but as he crested one hill he saw the pile up of new snow against the base of several trees and headed in that direction. The pinging of the transceiver suddenly took off so he radioed back what he’d found.

  He saw something poking out of the snow not too far away and headed toward it. As he got closer he realized it was the very top of an air bag.

  “I found him!” he called out through his radio. He fell to his knees and began to dig. His ski partner suddenly was there, helping him. “Tolliver! Can you hear me?”

  Suddenly, they were surrounded by other skiers, and they were all digging. The air bag was pulled out and Jin realized Tol had to be face down. An arm was dug out, followed by a shoulder and in the next moment, Tolliver’s face had broken through. He was unconscious and Jin felt his heart stutter in fear.

  “He’s breathing!” one of the men shouted and a cheer went up. Tolliver was carefully cleared of the snow and lifted onto a gurney strapped on the snowmobile. Jin could only watch as he was carried away quickly toward the bottom.

  Chapter Six

  The large bouquet of flowers arrived first in the hospital room and Tolliver chuckled as Jin peeked from behind the colorful blooms. His arm was set in a sling, although he’d only dislocated it from the shoulder. Still, it hurt like a motherfucker.

  “There’s my crazy boyfriend,” Jin said, smiling as he sat the vase down on the side table by the bed.

  “I know,” Tol sighed and rolled his eyes. “I’m fucking stupid. Skiing without a partner was an idiot thing to do.”

  “No, skiing down the back trail without a partner was an idiot thing to do, but at least you had the transceiver and wore the air bag.”

  He leaned over the bed, grabbed the back of Tolliver’s neck and pulled him close for a kiss. It was the first time that Jin had ever acted so authoritatively in displaying affection and Tolliver discovered he liked it. When Jin let him go and leaned back, he caught his hand and entwined their fingers together.

  “I’m sorry I worried you,” Tolliver murmured.

  “I never let myself, for one moment, think you were gone. I think I would’ve felt it here.” Jin pressed a hand over his heart. “But don’t ever do that to me again. Okay?”

  “It’s a deal.”

  Their foreheads met and Tolliver relished in the feeling of simply being alive and being with the man he loved.

  “Move away from him, Jin-Pyoo!”

  The malicious tone of Jin’s father broke over them, causing Jin to jump and spin around. Tolliver wanted to jump out of bed and pound the man but Jin’s restraining hand held him back.

  “What are you doing here, Father?”

  “I came to drag you home and beat some sense into you!”

  “Really? And how do you plan to do that? I’m almost twenty-nine years old. I’m an adult.”

  “You are a Korean citizen.”

  “Not for much longer.”

  Tolliver liked how Jin’s father looked like a fish as he stammered for something to say.

  “I plan on filing for American citizenship right away,” Jin continued calmly. “It’s something that came to me as I was searching through the snow to find Tolliver, and now I’ve a reason to stay.”

  Jin’s father pointed toward Tolliver. “Because of him?” The question came out scathingly.

  “Because I love him, yes.”

  Jin’s father flinched. “I will ruin you. I will ruin him––”

  “You can try,” Tolliver said calmly. “I don’t particularly give a damn if you manage to drive away all my high-end business clients. St. James is a skiing resort and there will always be skiers.”

  His father turned to Jin. “What about your Olympic dream? Your sponsor has threatened to pull their backing.”

  “Father,” Jin said firmly. “The Olympic dream was never really mine. It was yours. Sure, I am very proud of myself at having accomplished something not a lot of skiers have the opportunity to do. But I don’t want that dream anymore. It’s not what I want for my future.”

  His father’s face froze up tight. His stiffened his back and squared his shoulders. “You are no longer my son.”

  As he made to leave the hospital room, Jin asked one last thing.

  “Because I prefer men over women?”

  His father didn’t even answer. He simply walked out.

  “I’m sorry about that,” Jin said sadly. “I never thought he’d show up here.”

  “You can go after him, you know. He’s your dad. Once he’s gone you’ll probably feel bad you two had a falling out.”

  Jin shook his head and sighed. “He was never the type of man to hold me or kiss my boo-boo’s away. I miss the type of father I wished I had, but I won’t miss him. You’re my future, Tol.”

  “Me getting carried away by an avalanche made you realize that, huh?”

  Jin shook his head. “I’d already figured out I love you. I was just about to announce it to the world, but then Walter came in and told me you were missing.”

  Tolliver felt his heart skip a beat at Jin’s words before galloping off in erratic joy. He yanked on Jin’s hand and the younger man fell onto the bed. He winced a little as Jin bumped his bad arm but almost immediately he forgot about the pain as he cupped Jin’s face and brought their lips together, deepening it immediately by sweeping his tongue inside and staking his claim. He felt his cock grow hard even though a hospital room really wasn’t the idea place for a quickie. Besides the arm, he had a couple of bruised ribs, which made rolling around sli
ghtly painful.

  “Do you really love me?” he asked when he pulled back to stare into Jin’s beautiful dark eyes.

  “I do. With all my heart. You’re my light. My world. My life.”

  “I love you too, Jin.”

  And they sealed their love with a kiss.

  Chapter Seven

  Two months later

  Tolliver took one last look at the roses on the table as he saw Jin weave through the guests to the back room reserved exclusively for them. It was Valentine’s Day and he’d set everything up weeks ago because he wanted everything to be perfect. After all, it wasn’t every day that he asked someone to marry him.

  “Why are you wearing a tux?”

  Tolliver smiled. “It’s Valentine’s Day. I thought we could have a nice dinner together.”

  “Oh. Okay.” Jin gave him a soft smile. He pulled at the wool sweater he wore. “I’m a little underdressed.”

  Tolliver stepped up to him and cupped his face. “You’re perfect.”

  He brought their lips together and savored the feel of Jin’s lips on his. He had an urge to deepen the kiss, but his chef was waiting to serve the first course and he didn’t want anything to go wrong this evening.

  They dined on tuna tartare drizzled with wasabi cream, paired with seared peppered tuna and avocado, with kim chee slaw and plantain chips for appetizers. The main course was sockeye salmon grilled to perfection, dusted with a basil cream sauce. For desert, he’d had the chef make Jin’s favorite, chocolate mousse pie.

  They’d talked about inane things throughout dinner like the resort and the weather. Tolliver had a heck of a time keeping things mundane enough until the special finale.

  And then the Champagne was served and Tolliver felt his heart speed up like a fucking alpine skier hurtling toward the final gate. He thought he’d never been so nervous, not even when he was fighting for his life during the avalanche.