The Academy

by Quinn Anderson

  After his miserable weekend, however, part of Nick had been hoping for some closure. He’d thought he’d get it through self-reflection and maybe some binge drinking, but he wasn’t opposed to going straight to the source.

  Actually, this might work out for the best. They’d never had a chance to tie up loose ends. Now they could talk, get everything out in the open, and then go back to being indifferent acquaintances.

  He told himself that, and yet when he snuck a glance at Sebastian, his heart throbbed. Simply walking next to him made Nick feel an electric current between their bodies. It brushed his skin like a physical touch, that unnamable something that had been between them from day one. Only now, there were real emotions behind it.

  Nick wasn’t trying to be mean, but it definitely wasn’t caused by Sebastian’s looks this time around. He was visibly exhausted. His gray eyes—the feature Nick had originally been entranced by—were overshadowed by dark circles and bags. His brow was pinched, and his mouth, which Nick normally had a healthy appreciation for, was pressed into a thin, tense line.

  And yet somehow, Nick still responded to him. Body and heart.

  Maybe going somewhere private to talk isn’t such a good idea.

  Nick gave himself a mental slap across the face. There was no way he was going to let hormones distract him from telling Sebastian off. He’d lied to Nick, he’d hurt him, and though he’d come clean in the end, it was too little too late. Good thing Sebastian had shown his true colors before things got serious.

  Serious like you both talking about your issues with your parents and meeting each other’s friends and having sex and sharing a bed together? Oh yeah. Bullet dodged.

  Before Nick could argue with himself in earnest, they approached an old, gorgeous building Nick had never been to before. It almost looked like a cathedral, with its stained-glass windows and brick pinnacles laced with white stone.

  “This is the auditorium,” Sebastian said before Nick could ask. “Remember when I asked you to skip class and hang out with me?”

  “Oh yeah.” Nick stared up at the beautiful building, drinking in the details. “You said there was a room in the auditorium no one ever used. I remember thinking it sounded like trouble.”

  “You’re not wrong. The theater majors used to use it to smoke weed and make out, but then the administrators found out. It got raided a few times and then abandoned. Now it’s used sparingly. Actually, when Dante and Theo announced they were taking an acting class together for gen. ed. credit, I kinda hoped they’d use it to, um”—he grinned—“bond.”

  Nick nodded. “Looks like they didn’t need to. They ended up together anyway.”

  “What?” Sebastian rounded on him. “What did you say?”

  Nick blinked. “Dante and Theo. Did you not know they hooked up?” He would think Sebastian would be the first person they’d tell.

  “They what?” Sebastian dug his phone out of his pocket like he intended to call them right then and there, but then he stopped. “God, how could I have not seen it? They went home together after my party, and they were together all weekend. Was I honestly so caught up in my own shit that they didn’t think they could tell me?”

  Nick didn’t know how to answer that. Actually, judging by Sebastian’s dazed face, he might not know he’d said that aloud. Nick shifted his weight from foot to foot. His instincts were telling him to comfort Sebastian, but his brain was crowing over the pain on his face.

  Serves you right, you jerk.

  Eventually, Sebastian sighed. “I’ll call them later and apologize. I don’t want to hold you up. Follow me.”

  They entered the auditorium, and for a moment, Nick was stunned. It was beautiful inside, with a vaulted ceiling, rows of red velvet chairs, and frescos on the walls beneath the stained-glass windows. It could have been the inside of a European church.

  Once again, Sebastian seemed to read his mind. “The choir performs here around the holidays. You should go to the Christmas concert. When the stage is lit up with candles, and you can see snow falling outside, it’s magical.”

  Nick could picture it. Campus was probably gorgeous in the winter. He hadn’t thought that far ahead, focused as he’d been on getting here and getting settled. Surprisingly, he was excited to see it. This must be what school spirit felt like.

  Sebastian walked along the back of the theater to an open hallway that ran down the length of it. It was lined with doors and bisected with another hallway, which he headed down.

  Nick followed after him. Sebastian stopped in front of a door near the back and opened it, revealing a disused dressing room. There were old costumes hanging on a rack, boxes piled against the back wall, and an assortment of old chairs. Plus, a red couch in the middle that was the only thing not covered in dust.

  “This is it.” Sebastian walked in and waved at a makeup station with a cracked mirror lined with blackened light bulbs. “Glamorous, huh?”

  “I think it’s cool.” Nick checked the place out, hands shoved in his pockets. “So, you had something to say to me?” The sooner they got to the point, the sooner he could flee to safety.

  “You want to get comfortable first? This could take a minute.”

  The sofa was the easiest to get to, but Nick wasn’t about to sit on what was obviously a make-out spot with Sebastian. He freed a rickety stool from a pile of junk and perched on it. It was uncomfortable and groaned like a dying animal, but he stayed stubbornly on it. Then he crossed his arms and looked expectantly at Sebastian.

  Sebastian shrugged and took a seat on the couch, as close to Nick as he could get. There were maybe five feet between them, and every inch was magnetized. “I’m sure you have some idea of what I want to talk about.”

  “If you were to say politics and religion right now, I’d be relieved.”

  Sebastian’s lips quirked up, but he sobered quickly. “I want to apologize for lying to you.”

  “Which time?” Nick was being tart, but he didn’t care. He’d agreed to hear Sebastian out, but that didn’t mean he had to make it easy for him.

  Sebastian flinched. “Every time. I’ll start at the beginning. I never should have brought the bet back in the first place. I was angry at all the things in my life that were going wrong, and I decided to make someone else feel as miserable as me. It was callow and mean-spirited. I’m surprised Dante and Theo didn’t try to talk some sense into me.”

  “They did, in their own subtle way. According to Theo, they were hoping you’d realize your mistake on your own.” Nick narrowed his eyes. “Guess that never happened.”

  “No, it did.” Sebastian ran a frustrated hand through his hair. Nick watched it fall across his brow like a bird’s wing. “As soon as I got to know you, I realized I’d made a mistake, but I kept lying to myself. I acted like the scared child I guess I am inside. By the time I came to my senses, I was so deep in it, I thought for sure you were going to hate me forever no matter what I did.”

  Nick shifted in his seat, and the wood creaked worryingly. “The jury’s still out on that.”

  “I know, and I deserve that. I get it now, I promise.”

  “Do you? What brought on this grand epiphany?”

  “Talking to you. Being with you. Realizing about halfway into it that this was so not about the bet.” With a sigh, he glanced at Nick. “I should have come clean long ago, and I’m sorrier than I’ve ever been. You don’t have to forgive me if you don’t want to.”

  Nick shifted in his seat again. This was starting to sound like Sebastian wanted him back, and it was making Nick uncomfortable. He’d come here under the assumption that Sebastian had been playing him all along, but now it seemed like Sebastian had played himself. “If you don’t want forgiveness, then what do you want?”

  “I want you to understand. I’ve never been in a relationship before, like I told you on the balcony. Clearly, I have no idea what I’m doing. I fucked up, and I’m not saying my inexperience is an excuse, but I’m hoping you can at least get h
ow . . . lost I am.” Sebastian blew out a breath. “I make the wrong choices every chance I get, and I don’t know why.”

  Despite himself, Nick’s chest panged with sympathy. Sebastian was gazing off into space, his face pinched with pain and mortification. It was obvious he was pouring his soul out. “I remember you telling me that. How you’re lost when it comes to relationships, and sex is what you’re good at.”

  Nick almost bit his tongue. He should have thought that through. The words hung in the air between them, carrying an entirely different kind of tension. One that sizzled.

  For a moment, Sebastian’s eyes darkened in a way that sent tingles up Nick’s spine, but then he looked away. “Anyway, I’m also sorry I asked you to leave. It was more avoidance behavior on my part, and it was selfish. If there’s anything you want to say to me, you can say it now. For closure. And I know it’s horrible of me to ask, but . . . is there any chance you’ll forgive me someday? With time and a lot of groveling?”

  Yeah, this was getting into dangerous territory. Nick had expected Sebastian to apologize, and some of Nick’s anger had ebbed away, but he couldn’t just forgive him. Forgiveness could be a slippery slope that might lead to them giving this disaster another shot. He’d been ready to put this behind him and move forward. He was not ready for the return of Team Sick.

  Oh God, I don’t know what to do. Quick, say something.

  He cleared his throat. “Don’t worry about it. It’s not that big of a deal.”

  “Yes, it is. You don’t have to pretend for me. I know you’re angry, and you have every right to be.”

  “That’s the thing, though. I’m not angry. Hurt, sure, but not angry. When I first realized you were picking the bet over me, I was a little blindsided, but if anything, I was angry at myself. I let myself get swept up in this whole whirlwind. I’m normally so good at keeping my feet on the ground.”

  Sebastian winced. “Sorry again. It must’ve been quite a shock when I told you it was a bet all along.”

  “Not at all.” Nick looked at him askance. “Theo did tell you, didn’t he? I knew about the bet from the start.”

  Nick hadn’t expected his statement to get much of a reaction, but it was like he’d pulled out a firecracker and lit it right in the middle of the room.

  In an instant, Sebastian was on his feet. “You what?”

  For the second time in fifteen minutes, Nick was left blinking at him. “I . . . knew all along?”

  “How could you possibly have known?”

  “Theo. My first day here, he came to my room and introduced himself. Then he told me everything. About you, your friendship, and the bet. He said he wanted to warn me so I wouldn’t get hurt.” Nick shrugged. “Guess that happened anyway. Oh, and by the way, you didn’t win the bet. Theo did. I kissed him then and there. Platonically, of course, but it still counts.”

  Sebastian stared at him, his expression incredulous. For several seconds, he was silent. Then, he exhaled a sharp breath. “I can’t fucking believe you.”

  “Wait, what? What did I do?”

  Right then, Nick’s wobbly seat gave out beneath him. One leg broke in half, sending him to the floor like a ragdoll. He landed awkwardly, and while it didn’t hurt, the surprise of suddenly being on the ground left him blinking.

  For several seconds, Sebastian glared at him, as if he thought Nick had broken the chair on purpose. Then with a sigh, he offered Nick a hand.

  Nick took it, and when Sebastian pulled him up, it brought their faces close. His mouth went dry. He might’ve read into it, but Sebastian was still glaring at him.

  “You lied to me.” Sebastian’s eyes narrowed.

  It was Nick’s turn to be incredulous. “Excuse you?”

  Sebastian dropped Nick’s hand and jabbed a finger at him. “This whole time, you were playing me. I knew there was something up with you. You were so resistant to me, and I kept wondering and wondering why you were holding back. Well, now I know.”

  Nick bristled. “I was playing you? Spare me.”

  “It’s true. You let me make the worst mistake of my life and never said a word. You lied to me every bit as much as I did to you, and then you had the nerve to be angry at me?”

  “You should be grateful I knew about the bet. If I were you, I’d call Theo and thank him. We wouldn’t be talking right now if he hadn’t warned me. Do you have any idea how horrible I would have felt if I hadn’t known?”

  “Yeah, you’d feel how I feel right now! Maybe I’m a hypocrite, but so are you. Acting all betrayed when you’ve been pretending all along. How many times did you tell me to drop the act and be honest? Did it ever occur to you to do the same?”

  They fell silent, but the words resonated between them. Nick’s heart was pounding, and Sebastian was staring at him with such intensity, it scalded. Nick begged himself to look away, but he couldn’t.

  Distantly, he realized Sebastian was breathing hard. Nick’s own pulse had sped up, as it so often did around Sebastian. He’d told himself he wanted closure. He’d told himself that this would be the last time he’d talk to Sebastian. But standing here, in yet another heart-pounding confrontation with him, Nick had to wonder if the magnetism between them was more like a gravitational field, and they were destined to pull each other in again and again.

  “Okay.” Nick swallowed hard. “Fine. I owe you an apology as well.”

  Sebastian scoffed.

  “I’m serious. I shouldn’t have gone along with the bet in the first place. And then every move I made after that compounded my initial mistake. Worst of all, I lost sight of the fact that this wasn’t real.”

  “Not real,” Sebastian parroted. “That’s what you think?”

  “Don’t you?”

  “Nick, you already know the answer to that.”

  Nick opened his mouth to protest, but the words lodged in his throat. After this conversation, he couldn’t pretend Sebastian was the heartless bastard he’d spent all weekend building up in his head. “There were times when I thought . . . But it was too hard. It’s not supposed to be this hard.”

  A long beat of silence passed between them.

  “There’s one thing I can’t figure out,” Sebastian finally said. “Why’d you do it? Theo was a stranger to you when he asked you to lie. Why agree?”

  “Because I was desperate to make friends.” Nick shrugged. “It was my first day at a new school, and I was scared and lonely. And I really wouldn’t call it lying. Omission isn’t the same as what you did. Honestly, that’s why I kissed you when I did. This was getting way too involved.”

  That, Nick learned, was the wrong thing to say.

  “You’re unbelievable.” Sebastian stepped closer to him. “Acting like some poor put-upon victim who was dragged into this, when in reality, you practically volunteered. You had no qualms about lying to me. I may have done it first, but you did it worst.”

  Nick rolled his eyes. “Well, if it rhymes, then it must be true.”

  “No, fuck that. By agreeing to go along with this, you were complicit. For the record, I’m pissed off at Theo as well—and Dante, because there’s no way he wasn’t in on this—but at least they had good intentions. I’ve admitted that what I did was wrong. I’ve apologized and explained myself. But you’re still trying to act like you didn’t actively manipulate me, right down to deciding where and when the bet ended. Twice.”

  Nick wanted to argue with that, but there was a lot of truth to what Sebastian was saying. “Okay, fine. I’m sorry I lied. I guess we’re both guilty.”

  “You say that as if you think our wrongs cancel each other out somehow. They don’t. I can’t believe I’ve been beating myself up this whole time, and here you are, without a shred of remorse.”

  Nick’s temper flared. “You think I don’t regret what’s happened here? You think I didn’t spend this whole past weekend praying for a mulligan? I would give anything to start over. I thought this place was my fresh start, and then day one, I run into you. You’
re handsome and charming and mysterious, and the next thing I know, I’m swept up in this whole intrigue, and all I want to do is not get hurt again, but in the end, I still do. No matter what.”

  Sebastian paused, and when he spoke again, his voice was quiet. “If you could start over—if you could go back to that first day, and do it all over again—would you make it so we never met?”

  Hurting as he was, Nick almost said yes, but the lie caught in his throat. “No. I don’t regret getting to know you. When you told me you trusted me, it meant a lot. I realize now that I betrayed that trust. I don’t think it makes what you did any better, but you’re right. I’m not blameless here. Try to understand, though. Knowing about the bet only made what happened marginally easier. I still had to sit there and question every conversation we had. I had to watch you choose every day not to tell me the truth.”

  Hanging his head, Sebastian nodded. “I get it. I’m not making excuses, but for the record, right now, I’m thinking back on the past two weeks and seeing everything you did in a completely new light.”

  All of a sudden, I’m exhausted. It’s time to wrap this up.

  Nick shrugged. “We should put this disaster behind us. Pretend it never happened.”

  “Is that really what you want? Because I’m never going to be able to forget this.”

  Me neither.

  Out loud, Nick said, “There’s one more thing I need to know. Theo told me he and Dante offered to let you out of the bet, but you didn’t take them up on it. Why? Theo made it sound like the bet barely had any stakes.”

  That seemed to give Sebastian pause. He stared down at the floor, face pinched. They were standing so closely together, Nick could hear his breathing.

  Several seconds passed before Sebastian looked at him again. “I can see why you’d think that. To an outsider, the bet would look like it was for nothing. But to me, it was for something that mattered more than anything. It was a chance to claim something I thought I was losing. I wanted it so much, I was willing to ignore what I felt for you to get it.”