If I Were Your Woman

by Donna Hill

  Barbara did a last check on her apartment before the girls arrived. Her grandmother’s dining table was covered with a white linen tablecloth and the chafing dishes were filled with fried chicken, grilled shrimp, macaroni and cheese, fresh green beans, and seasoned rice. There was also a tossed green salad with the plum tomatoes that the girls loved. Ann Marie was sure to bring an island delicacy, Ellie dessert, and of course Steph would bring liquid.

  She’d been preparing for hours. She wanted everything to be perfect, extra special, and not so much because they were welcoming a new member into the tight fold, but because it had been a while since they’d all gotten together, to just relax and enjoy each other’s company.

  Barbara was just adding lemon to the glass pitcher of iced tea when the doorbell rang. As was tradition, Ann Marie was the first to arrive.

  “Hey, girl,” Barbara greeted, bending down to kiss Ann Marie’s cold cheek.

  “Whew, frosty as a frigid woman out there,” she quipped, stepping inside.

  Barbara chuckled and closed the door. “But at least all that snow is finally gone. Thought we were in Alaska for a minute.” She sniffed at the tray in Ann Marie’s hand. “Hmm, something smells good.”

  “Flyin’ fish and callaloo. Had to hurry and get it out of the house before Sterling ate it all. Man always meddling in me damned pots.”

  “And you love it.”

  Ann Marie’s petite face lit up. “Yeah, I do. Didn’t ever think I’d want a man around me all the time…but I can’t seem to get enough of being with him. Ya know.” She looked into Barbara’s eyes, looking for understand and validation of her feelings.

  Barbara put her hand on Ann Marie’s shoulder. “I know exactly how you feel.” She took the tray from Ann Marie and walked toward the kitchen while Ann took off her coat and hung it in the hall closet. She followed Barbara inside.

  “Wow. What a spread,” Ann said, looking at the table. Barbara came in and added scented candles and linen napkins to match the tablecloth. “You can transfer your food into the tray on the end.”

  Ann Marie followed the instructions of the hostess and added her contribution to the fare.

  The bell rang again.

  “Could you get that, Ann?” Barbara called out from the kitchen.

  Ann went to the door. Stephanie held out her bottle of wine in one hand and a six-pack of Coors in the other. Terri held a covered tray of appetizers.

  “Hey, Ann,” Stephanie greeted, breezing in. “Sure smells good up in here. I’m starved already.”

  “I wasn’t sure what to bring,” Terri offered, following Stephanie inside.

  “Whatever it is, we’ll be sure to eat it. I can guarantee that,” Ann Marie said, closing the door behind them.

  “Hello, ladies,” Barbara said, stepping out from the kitchen. “Glad you could make it, Terri.” She put the punch bowl on the table.

  “Thanks for having me.”

  “Make yourself comfortable. It’s all self-serve, so have whatever you want whenever you want it. We definitely don’t stand on ceremony around here.”

  Stephanie took Terri’s coat and hung it up with hers in the closet. “Don’t tell me I beat Elizabeth here,” she called out.

  No sooner were the words out of her mouth then the bell rang again. “I got it,” Stephanie said.

  “Sorry I’m late,” Ellie said, a bit breathless. “But I think my sweet potato cheesecake will make up for it.” She grinned triumphantly, taunting Stephanie by waving it under her nose as she came inside.

  “I vote we break tradition and have dessert first,” Stephanie said.

  Now that everyone had arrived, Barbara put the music on low as the ladies sat around playing catch-up and loading their plates.

  “I still can’t believe that it’s been less than a year,” Elizabeth said.

  “I can still remember that night. We were drunk as skunks,” Stephanie said.

  “Speak for yourself,” Ann Marie piped in.

  Stephanie tossed her a look. “If I remember correctly we almost had to pick you up off the floor a couple of times.”

  Ann Marie rolled her eyes. “Damn Coors done addled your brain.”

  They all chuckled.

  Elizabeth raised her glass in a toast. “To Barbara, who came up with the brilliant idea to open a spa for men.”

  “Hear, hear!” they chimed.

  “And to Ann Marie, who convinced us that hovel of a building could be transformed into a showplace,” Barbara said.

  “To Stephanie for whipping up a PR campaign that put us on the map!” Ann Marie announced.

  “And to our sista Ellie, who holds it down each and every day,” Stephanie said. “Wheeling and dealing with those fine men!”

  “Amen,” they chorused.

  Stephanie turned to Terri. “And to our new sista friend, Terri Wells.”

  “Welcome to the family,” Barbara said.

  Terri looked from one welcoming face to the other. “Thank you for including me. This is all so new to me.”

  “Whatcha mean?” Ann Marie asked, and took a long swallow of her drink.

  “Having girlfriends.” She shrugged a little. “I’ve really never had one—except for Mindy.”

  “You have four of us now and we can be real pains in the ass when necessary,” Ann Marie said.

  “You got that right,” Stephanie said, and winked at Ann Marie.

  “How long have you all been friends?” Terri asked.

  They all looked at each other, then started talking at once. Every combination from ten years to shopping mall meetings, to gossiping under hair dryers and everything in between.

  Barbara held up her hand. “You know what, ya’ll? We never really thought about how we all became friends. Sometimes it seems like we were always friends.”

  “Sure does,” Elizabeth echoed. “I do remember when you and I met,” she said to Barbara. She braced her arms on her thighs. “The twins were still in their double strollers.” She chuckled at the memory. “I was walking along Lenox Avenue and you stopped me to say how cute they were.”

  “Yeah, yeah, I remember.”

  “Then I think you asked me if I knew which way to the library and I told you that’s where I was going.” She grinned. “While we walked and talked we discovered we lived only blocks from each other. And the rest as they say is history.” She turned to the ladies. “Barbara invited me and Matthew over for dinner and we met Marvin.”

  Barbara’s eyes clouded over for an instant as she thought about the loss of her husband. Ellie reached over and touched her hand.

  Barbara cleared her throat. “It has been a while, hasn’t it? Twenty-odd years ago.” She pointed to Stephanie. “We met in Pathmark.”

  Stephanie tossed her head back and laughed. “We sure did. Place was packed on a Friday night. Ellie was with you, right?”

  “Yep. And we all wanted the same cab!” Elizabeth laughed. “Come to find out you lived down the street from me.”

  Stephanie turned to Ann Marie. “And how did you get all up in the mix?”

  Ann Marie cut her a look. “Being the businesswoman that I am, I was canvassing the neighborhood for potential sales. Ellie was sitting outside her house with the twins. They must have been about, what, nine, ten years old, Ellie?”

  She nodded. “About that.”

  “Anyway,” Ann Marie continued, “I started talking to her about the benefits of home ownership and she told me she’d been trying to tell her friends the same thing for the longest but they wouldn’t listen and maybe I could talk some sense into them. Somehow or other Ellie wrangled an invitation for me to come to Barbara’s for one of y’alls get-togethers.” She turned to Terri. “And I’ve been stuck with them ever since!”

  They all laughed at the memories, adding little tidbits and anecdotes as they ate and drank.

  “Ladies, if Barbara’s grandmother’s table could talk—the stories it could tell. We have spilled our guts, tears, gossip, and a few drinks all over i
t during the years.”

  “Ain’t that the truth,” Barbara said, touching the edge of the table with affection.

  “Amen to that,” Ann Marie said.

  Then Stephanie changed the course of the conversation. “Ell, what were you telling me a few days ago about meeting a murderer?”

  Everyone’s mouths opened, and all eyes were trained on Elizabeth.

  “Well, his name is Ali….” She went on to tell them of how they met. “Anyway, he was a former member of the Black Panther Party back in the sixties in Atlanta,” she said, her voice lifting with excitement and a hint of intrigue. “During a raid of their headquarters, there was a shoot-out and he was accused of shooting a cop. He was in jail until eight years ago until he was exonerated of all charges. He wasn’t even there that night.”

  “Wow,” they chimed.

  “It boggles the mind how often our men wind up in jail for crimes they didn’t commit,” Barbara said. “Really pisses me off.”

  “And the sad part is, his wife divorced him while he was in jail. Took his two kids and he’s never seen them again.”

  “What a shame,” Terri said.

  “Anyway, now he’s working with Ron on his construction crew. He seems like a really nice guy.” She shook her head. “The girls were totally enamored with him and he has such a gentle way about him, I’m sure he would have made a good family man if he’d had the chance. He reminds me of someone, but I just can’t put my finger on it.”

  “Maybe you saw his picture somewhere years ago,” Terri offered. “I mean, it was a little before my time, but I do remember there being tons of photos and news clips about the Panthers.”

  “How old would you say he is?” Stephanie asked.

  “Hmm, early sixties.”

  “You said he had kids?” she asked.

  “Yeah, but when I tried to ask about them, he got really quiet. You could tell it still bothered him.”

  “That’s too bad,” Ann Marie said. “It would be easy to blame the woman. But sometimes ya gotta do what’s best for you and the kids. She had to move on with her life.”

  Stephanie stood up. “What about the kids? Was it fair to them to grow up without knowing their father?” she blurted out, stunning the group with the vehemence of her outburst. “Excuse me.” She walked out and went into the kitchen.

  “Touchy subject for Steph,” Barbara said by way of explanation to Terri.

  “I know all about family loss,” Terri said. “My mom, my dad, my brother…It does affect you. And it hits different people different ways.”

  “I’ll go talk to her,” Ann Marie offered. “It was me damned big mouth anyway.” She pushed up from her seat and went into the kitchen.

  Stephanie was sitting at the table, staring into space.

  “Steph, you know me run me mouth too much. Didn’t mean to upset you.”

  Stephanie waved her hand and sniffed. “It’s okay, really. Any other day it probably would have rolled right off my shoulder.” She shook her head and sighed. “But lately, I’m all twisted in a knot. The slightest little thing sets me off.”

  “It happens…to all of us.” She came around the table and took Stephanie by the arm. “Come on. This night is a fun night, not time to sniff and moan. You can do that later.”

  Stephanie looked up at Ann Marie and grinned. “Damn, didn’t we used to hate each other?” She stood up.

  Ann Marie hooked her arm through Stephanie’s. “Yeah, we sure did. I still can’t stand ya,” she added.

  They chuckled in friendship and returned to the party.

  “Hey, Steph, thanks for inviting me tonight. I really had a good time,” Terri said as they stood outside Barbara’s building. “You have some really great friends.”

  “Now they’re your friends, too.”

  Terri smiled. “Yeah, I like the sound of that.”

  Stephanie gave her a hug. “Get home safely. We’ll talk next week.”

  “Absolutely.”

  Stephanie started to walk away.

  “Steph…”

  She stopped and turned. “Yeah?”

  Terri approached. “I mean, I know I haven’t known you as long as the others…but if you ever want to…uh, talk about the whole family thing…” She shrugged her right shoulder and let her statement hang in the air.

  Stephanie nodded, a pressed smile on her mouth. “Thanks. I’ll remember that.”

  “Good night.”

  “Night.”

  Stephanie got behind the wheel of her car, started it, and waited for it to warm up before she pulled off. Then all at once a deep chasm of despair spread through her body like a fever. Tears sprang from her eyes and rolled unchecked down her cheeks. She lowered her head to the steering wheel and sobbed, deep racking sobs, something she hadn’t done since the night they pulled her and Samantha out of the car wreck.

  She sat up, tugged in several shuddering breaths, then wiped her eyes with her gloved hand. She took a look at her reflection in the rearview mirror, put the car in gear, and pulled off.

  Chapter 6

  Tony was in his home office in front of his computer putting some digitized effects on a series of pictures he’d taken for a resort. He hadn’t seen Stephanie since the two days they’d spent together earlier in the week during the storm. He wanted to give her some space, didn’t want her to feel that she was being crowded. But he missed her. More times than he could count he’d picked up the phone to call but changed his mind.

  Now here it was, a big Saturday night looming ahead, and he was home alone with only his computer as company. And no prospect of it getting any better. How sad was that?

  He pushed back from his desk, rubbed his tired eyes with his knuckles, then headed for the kitchen. He was pretty sure he’d stuck some pizza in the freezer that he could pop in the microwave.

  While he was standing there watching the seconds tick by on the little panel, the phone rang. He went for the phone on the counter hoping that it was Stephanie. A moment of disappointment settled in his stomach at the male voice on the other end, but it was quickly replaced when he recognized who it was.

  “Stan!”

  “Hey, man. I was hoping this was still your number.”

  “How the hell are ya?”

  “Doing my thing, you know that.”

  They both laughed at that one. Back in college Stan “the man” Duncan was renowned for his way with women. Rumor had it that Stan had been through the entire senior class and he never disagreed.

  Tony pulled up a stool and sat down. “Still in Philly?”

  “Actually, I’m on Amtrak. We’ll be pulling into Penn Station in about twenty minutes. I’ll be in town until next week, but I have meetings. I thought if you weren’t busy we could get together tonight—have a few beers and catch up.”

  “No doubt. Time and place, that’s all I need to know.”

  They quickly talked logistics and set a time to meet at eight in the lobby of Stan’s hotel.

  By the time Tony got off the phone his weekend wasn’t looking so bad after all.

  Tony arrived at the Sheraton Hotel on Seventh Avenue and walked into the bustling lobby. He scanned the crowd hoping to spot Stan. Someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around.

  Stan had that same old grin on his face and his arms opened wide.

  “Looking good, looking good,” Stan said, clapping Tony on the back. He ruffled his hair. “What’s happening with the hair?”

  Tony tossed his head back and chuckled. “The new me, man.”

  “I’ll get used to it after a few beers.”

  “Then let’s get this party started.”

  “Wow, it’s been a minute since I’ve been back in New York,” Stan was saying as they were shown to their table.

  Barnone was one of Tony’s favorite spots. The high-tech design, with splashes of who’s who on any given night, always gave him creative inspiration.

  “This spot wasn’t open the last time I was in town.” Stan sat down
.

  “It’s been open about three years.”

  “Damn, has it been that long since I’ve been here?”

  Tony nodded. “Longer.”

  The waitress came and took their drink order.

  “Hennessey on the rocks,” Tony said.

  “I’ll have water with lemon, no ice.”

  Tony gave him a questioning look when the waitress left. “Water and lemon? What happened to a night of tying one on for old times’ sake?” He smiled at his friend.

  “The night is young,” he said. He looked around, then focused on Tony. “I gotta do better about staying in touch. But with all the traveling I’ve been doing it gets hard.”

  “You never did say what brought you to the Big Hour.”

  “It’s part of a ten-city awareness campaign. I’m actually here with a group.”

  Tony frowned. “Awareness campaign?” He chuckled. “I didn’t know they had campaigns for property managers.”

  Stan had received his degree in urban economics from Temple University and worked in rehabbing inner-city neighborhoods. He might run around with a lot of women, but he always had a dedication to bettering the community he grew up in.

  “It’s a little more complicated than that.”

  “How so?”

  Stan shifted a bit in his seat. He had started to reply when the waitress returned with their drinks.

  “Are you gentleman ready to order?” She held her pad at the ready.

  Stan looked up. “I’ll have the house salad to start and the grilled chicken special.”

  “Steak, medium well, with the baked potato.”

  “Coming right up.” She sashayed away.

  Tony turned his attention back to Stan. “You were going to tell me about your tour.”

  Stan waved off his inquiry. “We can get to me. Tell me what’s been happening with you. You still running around snapping pictures?”

  Tony chuckled. “Yeah, and finally making a living out of it. I work on my own, starting to get a pretty impressive client list. Mostly company brochures, advertising content, stuff like that. It’s pretty cool.” He leaned forward. “As a matter of fact that’s how I met my lady, Stephanie.”