Always You

by Lizzie Morton

  ‘Are they going to be here soon?’ Zoe moans loudly. She’s made it clear she’s unhappy we’re having to wait for the others to order food. ‘I could literally eat my own arm.’

  ‘Feel free, if that’s what it takes to keep you quiet.’ There’s an evil smile on Sam’s face as he baits her.

  A napkin hits him square in the face, coming from Sophie’s direction. ‘Don’t be an ass.’

  Despite how annoying Zoe’s moaning is, none of us can hide the loud noises coming from our stomachs. The afternoon has been filled with plenty of drinking and not much eating, so we order a few appetizers from the menu, not knowing when the other guys are going to arrive.

  When the food arrives, I tuck straight in. Shoveling a huge scoop of nachos in my mouth, a hand squeezes my shoulder from behind. ‘Couldn’t wait for us I see,’ comes Shaun’s husky voice.

  ‘Sorry, bro. Zoe was getting hangry, you know how it is.’ Sam holds his hands up, acting as if he had no part to play in ordering any of the food in front of us.

  Shaun shakes his head, losing interest in his brother, ‘No hey, Abs?’ He looks down at me, so I turn my face, pointing at my overly full mouth, exaggerating chewing. Then my eyes rest on the person stood next to him and my stomach plummets. She’s gorgeous, very blonde, very leggy, with huge breasts and golden skin; a bit like a real-life Barbie. My gut clenches, and even though I’ve not been introduced to the rest of the group, I know this is Amanda.

  So here we are, like chalk and cheese. Her looking every bit the blonde bombshell, and me sat with cheese and salsa falling out of my mouth. There’s no question why Jake made the choice he did. Keeping my promise, I offer up a food filled smile, to which she wrinkles her nose slightly, clearly repulsed at the churned-up food that keeps dropping down my front, then finally offers a small smile back. Feeling humiliated yet again, I look down, focusing on my nachos.

  When I finally recover from my embarrassment, I look up, and Sophie catches my eye, offering a sympathetic smile. True to form I watch as both her and Zoe shovel huge mounds of nachos into their mouths, and then begin cackling and spraying food all over the table.

  ‘Gross, guys,’ I say. Really, I’m laughing and thankful these two are my best friends. It’s not often you find people willing to embarrass themselves to help you and reinforces why we’re such a strong unit despite our differences; we well and truly have each other’s backs.

  Out of the corner of my eye I see Shaun and Amanda move around the table. Shaun sits next to Zach and of course Amanda settles down next to Jake. I smile at Shaun, having finally cleared my mouth of food. I don’t know where it comes from, but I gather the courage and turn to directly speak to Amanda. ‘You must be Amanda,’ I offer an extra sweet smile and then continue, ‘Sorry I couldn’t say hi before, I had a bit of a food predicament. It’s great to meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you.’

  The whole group is staring in awe, and you could cut the tension with a knife. I get that it’s surprising I would be the one to instigate a conversation with her, but they could at least attempt to make it feel less awkward.

  ‘Not from Jake you haven’t,’ Sam mutters under his breath. I kick him under the table, hard. ‘What the fuck, Abby?’

  ‘Oops, sorry, my foot slipped.’ I shoot daggers his way, as a warning not to make any more remarks.

  Amanda looks between us with an amused expression on her face, and finally she says, ‘That’s so sweet. Jake’s told me you used to be close friends. I hope we can be friends too. Any friend of Jake’s is a friend of mine.’

  I hate that her smile is genuine. She clearly believes whatever Jake has told her. But whether he has blatantly lied about our relationship or merely chosen to omit a large chunk of the truth, that is their issue. Right now, my issue is that this girl I want to hate, seems genuinely nice and I feel torn at how I should react.

  Luckily, the waitress picks this moment to walk back over to the table which distracts Amanda from the conversation. So, Jake told her we were good friends, which means he neglected to tell her we have history and neglected to tell her we had a relationship. What the hell? I knew he didn’t think much of our time together, which was evident in how he ended things, but completely dismissing that we had a relationship at all is downright insulting.

  I glance around the table. Everyone is focused on ordering food and more drinks. Jake stares at the menu intently, refusing to look at anyone, coward. My eyes land on Zach, and as if he senses me watching him, he looks over, giving me a sad smile. He shakes his head slightly and mouths, ‘he’s an idiot’ which turns my frown into a smile.

  When she’s placed her food order with the waitress, Zoe whispers, ‘You ok?’

  ‘Ma’am what can I get you?’ I hadn’t even realized it was my turn to order food, too focused on answering Zoe.

  ‘You know what, I’m ok thanks,’ Zoe looks confused. ‘I think I’m gonna head back to the room. I’m suddenly not feeling that great.’

  It’s not a lie. The last five minutes have turned my stomach, so I push my chair back, and quickly stand. I offer the table, apart from Jake a small wave and make my way back to the room. Collapsing on the bed, I will sleep to come quickly, which thankfully it does. My last thought is that maybe after a good night’s sleep, this won’t all feel quite as bad as it does right now.

  ***

  ‘Rise and shine, sexy lady!’ I wake up the following morning to Zoe diving on the bed and engulfing me in a giant bear hug. ‘Feeling better?’

  I groan into my pillow. ‘Since when are you so chipper in the morning?’ I don’t feel like I’ve had anywhere near enough sleep, but then again, I would happily stay in bed forever if it meant I didn’t have to face Jake and Amanda again.

  ‘Since we have to be up and at ‘em.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Had you stayed at the meal; you would have been privy to our plans for the day. Whiteface Mountain.’ She states bluntly.

  ‘Did I just hear you say mountain?’ Suddenly I feel more awake. There’s nothing I love more than getting outside.

  ‘Yep. Please tell me you brought your sneakers?’

  ‘Of course.’ I smile, the days plans lifting my spirits from the night before. I had intended spending the morning in bed resting, but after the crap from last night, a bit of physical exertion is exactly what the doctor ordered. We didn’t come all the way to Lake Placid to stay indoors. Remembering some of the beautiful scenery we saw on the drive in yesterday has me literally buzzing to get outside with my camera.

  ‘Well, that got you out of last night’s funk. Soph and I figured, the more distracted we all were, the better.’

  ‘Plus, it might be a chance to break the ice between you and Amanda?’ Sophie walks in from the bathroom, towel drying her hair. I hadn’t even realized she was listening.

  ‘It’s not Amanda that’s the problem,’ I huff, as the conversation from last night comes flooding back.

  Sophie offers a small smile, knowing my feelings have been hurt. ‘We know, but there’s no point in dwelling on it. Whatever Jake chose to tell her or not tell her about the two of you is his choice. If you want to take it up with him, I suggest you do it when his girlfriend isn’t around?’ I consider what she’s saying for a moment. She’s right. It’s Jake’s business, and nothing to do with Amanda, so she’s not the one who should be getting the brunt of my anger.

  ‘Soph, you’re far too wise sometimes.’

  ‘It’s hard being this brilliant,’ she shimmies her Lycra covered ass to emphasize her point, and I roll my eyes. ‘Now get up and get ready. We have a half hour before breakfast, then we need to get out before the heat gets too much.’

  ‘Yes, sir,’ I say saluting her and then jumping out of bed, running straight into the bathroom.

  Over an hour later, fresh, and full of breakfast, we make our way to the car so we can meet the rest of the group. They’ve gotten a head start on us, and we meet them at a small visitor car park at the edge of a forest. Ev
en though it’s only 8am, the heat is rising at a rapid rate.

  ‘Nice to see you girls are punctual as ever,’ says Shaun, smirking at Zoe. She narrows her eyes and struts past him. It’s impossible not to notice his eyes following her and taking in the view of her ass for a few seconds. Interesting, I never would have guessed there could potentially be something between them.

  ‘Almost ready to go?’ Sam comes up behind me, pulling me into a small hug.

  ‘Yep, we just need to load up a couple of packs with water. Did everyone bring snacks?’ Sophie asks to the group. When the rest of the group nods their confirmation, it’s clear this is a regular part of their annual Lake Placid trips.

  We take the primary trail, along a long open forest route and it’s incredibly beautiful as the sun peeps through the trees. The guys tell me it’s a long, steady slog, and although the route isn’t too far, distance wise, the climb is the killer, especially in the summer heat. I don’t mind though if I get a chance to take photos of the stunning scenery along the way.

  We amble along, joking and chatting. I don’t see much of Jake and Amanda thankfully, as they stay ahead of the group. I don’t think it’s a coincidence, as I saw Jake powering off at full speed with Amanda struggling to keep up behind. As far as I’m concerned, the more space between us the better.

  Even though it takes time, when we get to the top, it proves to be worth every bit of sweat and pain, as the views are breathtaking. They’re panoramic and we can see everything for miles.

  While the rest of the group unloads their packs and sits down for a long overdue water break and snack, I pull out my camera and set about taking photos. Even though I’m off work duty, I can’t help myself. It doesn’t feel like work when we’re out here, above the world. These are the sort of photos I rarely get to take, and it’s refreshing. I wind up in my own little world, snapping away. Everything around me disappears, so I’m surprised when a sweet voice sounds next to me.

  ‘Can I see?’ I turn and find Amanda looking hopeful. Even with my issues from last night, deep down I know it’s not her fault, so I don’t hold any resentment towards her.

  ‘Sure.’ I open the preview screen, so she can look at some of the images I’ve captured.

  ‘Wow. These are so good. Like really, really good, Abby.’

  ‘Thanks,’ I return, trying to sound friendly. ‘They’re not perfect but they’re fine for just messing around.’

  ‘They’re some of the best I’ve seen.’ I can tell from her eyes as she speaks, that she means it. Even though every part of me is screaming to hate her, I can see why Jake is with her, and can’t help but like her myself.

  ‘We should probably start heading back down. It’s starting to get really hot out.’ I try to distance myself from the conversation, as there is only so much bonding with my ex’s girlfriend I can take.

  ‘You’re right,’ she agrees, not appearing to read anything into my hasty change of subject.

  Once the group finishes rehydrating, we steadily make our way back down the mountain. I take my time, wanting to put distance between myself and Amanda. Although we shared a friendly moment, I’m not keen for it to become a regular thing, and don’t want it to go beyond this trip.

  Trailing at the back, Zach comes to join me, and for a while we walk in amicable silence. We hear cheering down ahead and Amanda throws her arms up in the air in celebration. Shaun yells something I can’t make out and Jake throws his arm around her shoulders, pulling her in to kiss her temple affectionately.

  Walking in the middle, Zoe and Sophie look back over their shoulders with concern written on their faces. I offer them a small smile. This is the first time I’ve seen Jake and Amanda show any sort of affection to each other, and it sucks. After the conversation at the bar, I can’t help getting angry that he thinks it’s ok to do this in front of my face; especially when he asked that we try and get along. Most normal people would be over their ex after six years, however nothing about this situation feels normal.

  ‘He’s a good guy you know.’ Zach looks ahead as we carry on walking.

  ‘You could have fooled me.’

  ‘It caught him off guard, you, coming back.’

  This piques my interest. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘He didn’t think you’d ever come back. Everyone said you were done with Brooklyn, and he figured he’d never have to face up to the mess he left.’

  ‘Mess. That’s one way of putting it.’ If I came across as nice, sweet Abby when we first met, I’m now coming across as a grumpy bitch.

  ‘Maybe you should give him a bit of a break. This is hard for him too. It always was. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt you.’ His face looks sad but doesn’t dampen my anger at our history.

  ‘Which is why he broke up with me a few weeks after telling me how in love with me he was?’

  ‘Maybe he didn’t have a choice?’ I’m reeling at what Zach’s saying, but this last bit doesn’t fit the memories I have of our breakup.

  ‘Do you know something I don’t?’

  ‘Potentially. But as his best friend I swore I wouldn’t tell anyone. So instead I’m giving you a few hints so you can make up your own mind as to what really went down.’

  ‘Thanks, I guess.’ I’m not sure why I’m thanking him, as I feel more confused than ever.

  He gives a small shrug. ‘I just want to see my best friend happy, and there are some things he isn’t happy about, even though he would never admit it. He’s always done things for everyone else. You’re a perfect example, and I’d like to see that change.’

  ‘Right.’ Again, confusing much?

  ‘I’d also like us to be friends if that could work for you? I have nothing against you, Abby, and I can tell that you’re great. Sorry if it seemed like I was frosty yesterday, I just don’t want to see my friend hurt.’

  It’s ironic as from where I’m standing, it’s me that’s always done all the hurting. ‘I’m not here to hurt anyone. All I want is to get through the summer and then get out of Brooklyn.’

  ‘Do you really though? It seems to me like you’ve got everything you could possibly need right here.’

  ‘Apart from one thing.’ I’m not sure if he knows about Michael, but I’m guessing he does by his reply.

  ‘What if the person you really need is right here but just doesn’t know it yet?’ He places a hand on my shoulder, giving it a small squeeze followed with a reassuring smile, before walking ahead to join Sophie and Zoe.

  I continue trailing at the back, and away from the rest of the group, mulling over every cryptic thing Zach said. One thing’s certain. I have no clue what’s going on.

  Sixteen

  We’ve all been killed off after the hike up Whiteface Mountain, and I spend the rest of the afternoon listening to the girls bitch and moan about how they hate exercise and will never do any again. They soon perk up when food and drink is mentioned though.

  The evening goes without a hitch. Although Zoe tries to convince us to go out partying, we’re all exhausted and promise we will party as much as she wants tomorrow. There’s an evil glint in her eye when we make this promise, and she’s going to make sure we keep it.

  The last day is like the first. Full of lounging by the pool and taking in the beautiful surroundings. We don’t see much of Jake and Amanda, as they venture off to do couples things. I’m not complaining, I would rather them do couples things where I can’t see them. It’s later in the day when Zoe decides we have to follow through with our promise, so we all head off from the pool to get ready to party.

  We meet the rest of the group on the main street to hit up a couple of the local bars. They’re small and have nothing on Shaun’s, but they have a quirky feel that’s fitting with everything Lake Placid. Once we settle in, I never want to leave, as the atmosphere is fun and relaxing. We spend hours outside one of the bars, drinking under the evening sun and as the steady flow of alcohol soon catches up with us, we grow increasingly louder.

 
‘I wub you, Abeeee,’ says Sophie, throwing her arms around my neck and swaying. I’m feeling buzzed, but no way near as drunk as she is.

  I pat her head patronizingly, not that she cares; she’s too far gone. ‘I know you do.’

  ‘Pweez don’t weeb again,’ I guess she’s asking me not to leave. She’s always one to get emotional when she’s had too much to drink.

  ‘You mean leave? Well I can’t promise that, but you’re too drunk to be talking about this.’ She nods in agreement, folding down over the table, placing her head in her arms to go to sleep.

  ‘Too much to drink again?’ Asks Jake, sliding in next to me with a drink in his hand. I’m surprised he’s here. The last time I checked he hadn’t turned up with Amanda, and as the night has moved on, we didn’t know if they would come.

  ‘Of course. At least there’s more of us to handle the two of them.’

  ‘I think Shaun’s more than got Zoe covered,’ Jake chuckles. I turn to see what he’s talking about. It isn’t surprising that Zoe is leaning against him for support, she always needs someone to prop her up. What is surprising, is the way Shaun is stroking her face affectionately. Clearly, he’s tanked.

  ‘When did that happen?’ I ask, unsure whether Shaun is as wasted as I think, or if there is something more going on that I haven’t figured out yet.

  Leaning back in his chair, he takes a long drag of his beer as he carries on watching them before replying, ‘It hasn’t. Yet. I don’t think anyway.’

  ‘Well, he had better not take advantage of her being wasted.’

  He raises an eyebrow. ‘Come on, Abby. You know Shaun would never do anything like that.’

  ‘You think you know people, but sometimes they surprise you.’ Turning towards him with narrowed eyes, I make it clear I’ve got beef with him.

  ‘Listen, I’m sorry about Amanda. I know you’re mad I didn’t tell her about us, but I don’t want her to start reading too much into things.’