My Wife My Baby...And Him

by Shelia E. Bell

  “So, let’s say we celebrate. I’ll buy you lunch. What do you say?” Stiles asked Riley as they exited the townhome.

  Riley glanced at her cell phone before replying. “That would be nice. My next appointment isn’t until later this afternoon, and I could use something to eat.”

  “Good, then let’s see what we can find downtown. I might as well get used to living down here.”

  They found a restaurant and for the first time in a while, Stiles felt himself relaxing. He learned that Riley had an identical twin named Miley who lived in Nashville. Riley was engaged but she said her fiancé wasn’t a member of Holy Rock. They laughed and talked while they dined.

  While they ate and talked, Stiles wondered if Riley was one of the church members who wanted him gone or was she one of the more understanding and sympathetic members who wanted to keep him. From her demeanor and the easiness in which they got along, Stiles got the feeling that Riley was not the judgmental, unforgiving type of woman. He could be wrong, but at this point, it really didn’t matter because he had come to the realization that his days as Senior Pastor of Holy Rock were numbered.

  He had no inkling of an idea what he was going to do. He had made the decision that on Sunday morning he was definitely going to address his congregation. He would be open with them and let them know that he was sorry for his actions, sorry for disappointing his flock, and sorry that yet another marriage had fallen apart. How had everything come to such a bitter end? He had been duped by yet another woman and he started to feel that something was wrong with him. Was he a weak man? Was he too easy going or was he too controlling like Detria often accused him of being?

  He walked Riley to her car, then on the walk back to where he had parked, he thought about his life and how it had gone from sugar to stank. He felt like a total fool for not seeing that his wife was truly unhappy. He thought the trip they took to Myrtle Beach had been good for the both of them. They had made vows to work harder on their relationship. Obviously, it all had been a bunch of talk on Detria’s end. No telling how long her and Skip’s affair had been going on.

  Stiles got in his car, put his foot to the floor, and sped off, heading to Holy Rock.

  His phone rang. He pushed the hands free button in his car. It was Pastor.

  “How are you, Son?”

  “I’m good. I found a place to live. It’s downtown. I’m leaving from there now headed to Holy Rock.”

  “I’m close by the church. Why don’t I meet you there?” Pastor suggested.

  “Sounds good. I should be there in a few.”

  “Okay, Son.”

  “Bye, Pastor.”

  Pastor hadn’t said a lot to Stiles about his future at Holy Rock. But Stiles felt that Pastor had to be hurt by everything that was going on. There was no way around it. After all, Stiles could probably lose Holy Rock; the one thing Pastor had spent his life building.

  Chapter 23

  “True love isn’t about being inseparable; it’s about two people being true to each other even when they are separated.” Unknown

  Rena packed the last of her clothes in her suitcase, closed it, and put it down on the floor next to her bed. Her flight to Memphis was scheduled to depart later that afternoon. She had mixed emotions about returning to Memphis. It held so many unpleasant memories. She had promised that she would not look back on her past, and she really hadn’t. Yes, there were times she thought about Stiles and Francesca, but the two of them were just that, in her past.

  When she heard the news about Stiles and Detria, Rena’s heart immediately softened for Stiles. She knew all along that Detria was bad news, but then again, Rena told herself ‘you reap what you sow’ and that meant Stiles too. It’s not that she wished bad karma on him for the way he treated her when he found out she had slept with his sister, but that happened way before she hooked up with Stiles. Yes, she was probably wrong for not telling him about the relationship, but she honestly didn’t think it was his business. Rena was sure he hadn’t told her about all the women he had bedded before they got together either. But again, the past was the past and she hated that he could lose his pastoral position at Holy Rock because of his actions. That had to be tearing Stiles apart.

  She would be in Memphis for the funeral of Mr. Bolden, her former library supervisor. The two of them had remained friends after she moved to Andover. He had passed away in his sleep from natural causes. When his wife called and told Rena, she knew she wanted to go back to Memphis and pay her respects. What she didn’t know was if she was going to try to see Stiles while she was there.

  “You about ready?” Robert asked as he walked up on her, grabbing her waist from behind, and nibbling on her ear lobe.

  Rena giggled and slightly turned around.

  Robert met her lips with his for a tender kiss.

  “I guess so,” she replied, easing out of her husband’s arms. She then sat down on the side of their bed.

  Robert remained standing. “What’s on your mind? Or should I say, who’s on your mind?”

  Robert had an uncanny way of knowing when something was bothering her. It was one of the things Rena loved about him. He was understanding, never put her down, and he always, always listened to what she had to say. He was a special man in her eyes, and she was grateful that God had brought Robert Becton into her life.

  “You need to leave it alone, Rena. There is nothing you can do or say that can change things. Stiles is no longer part of your life. Let it go.”

  Rena looked at her husband, still truly amazed at how well he knew her.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Stiles is the last person on my mind. I was thinking about Mr. Bolden’s wife and kids. You know how much that man loved his family, and knowing that his kids have to grow up without him in their lives, it’s just horrible, Robert. I can’t imagine if, if our…” Rena shook her head like she was trying to shake the thoughts out of her mind.

  Robert sat down next to her. “Look at me.”

  Rena did.

  “I know you’re upset about Mr. Bolden’s sudden passing. But, this is your husband you’re talking to, and I know you. This is more than just about Mr. Bolden. I know that when you read about the fall of the one and only Stiles Graham, you were shocked and devastated. But, baby, he’s not your concern anymore. There is absolutely nothing you can do for him.”

  “I know that,” she responded, hoping that he couldn’t detect that she was uneasy about talking to him about her ex-husband. “Stiles made his bed, and that’s his problem. What’s going on in his life is my least concern. I love you. I love our kids. I love what we have here in Andover, and I wouldn’t jeopardize that for anything in this world.”

  Rena leaned in and began kissing her husband until their oldest little girl, Isabelle, bolted inside their room, tattling about something her brother, Robbie, had done.

  On the airplane, Rena rested against the headrest. Don’t even think about seeing him while you’re in Memphis. You’re going for one thing, and one thing only, to pay your respects to Mr. Bolden’s family. Nothing else, and no one else.

  Chapter 24

  "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." - Mahatma Gandhi

  Francesca sat in front of the computer reading different online news articles about her brother and his fall from grace. For her, it was another drama-filled episode in the life of the Graham family. Would it ever stop? We should have one of those family TV reality shows.

  Unfortunately, news about Stiles didn’t take Francesca by surprise, because her family reminded her of everything God didn’t like. She wasn’t trying to be condemning toward them because she was part of their dysfunctional, damaging ways and deeds. She had played her role, and all too well. She had to admit that she used to flaunt her lesbian lifestyle and hood chick ways in front of them every chance she got. She used to boast about being in and out of jail, and rebelled as a young girl against her family, her church, and God.

  Fran
cesca sat in front of the 23-inch computer screen, succumbing to the thoughts of her messed up past filtering through her mind. She thought about the horrid molestation she endured at the hands of her cousin, Fonda. She thought about being rape by Pastor Travis, one of Holy Rock’s former youth pastors. She had kept silent about the rape because she felt like no one would be on her side. Her mother would always make sure of that. All Audrey Graham cared about when she was alive was her precious Stiles. As for Pastor, Audrey had him wrapped around her wicked little finger too. First Lady Audrey Graham could do no wrong in Pastor’s eyes.

  Francesca’s mind continued to replay her past, step by step, frame by frame, until she couldn’t take it anymore, and transferred her thoughts to Detria. She always had an unsettling feeling about Detria. Detria, before Audrey died, had been a constant presence around the Graham family, at least that’s what Francesca heard. When she attended Audrey’s funeral and the repast, she had the chance to see Detria in full effect, prancing around like she was soooo concerned about Pastor and Stiles. It turned out, she had been concerned all right. Concerned about finding a way to get next to Stiles, and she did. Francesca shrugged at the thought of Detria and the way she had finagled herself into Stiles’ life.

  How could he stay with a woman like Detria? This was the same woman who beat down Pastor like he was a thug on the streets, yet he forgave her and stayed in the marriage. Now, this same conniving, slick woman, Detria Graham, had managed to get her brother in a world of trouble.

  Stiles could get angry, really heated; Francesca knew of it firsthand, but she didn’t know whether to believe that he had attacked Detria in the manner the news reported. From what she had been reading, he had beaten Detria so bad that she had to be hospitalized. Now he was on the verge of losing his ministry, his livelihood, perhaps even his little girl, all because he couldn’t keep his hands to himself.

  Francesca shook her head and proceeded to read one more article about her brother before she clicked off the Memphis newspaper website.

  She picked up her cell phone lying next to the computer. Scrolling through her Contacts, she stopped at her brother’s number. Should she call him? She wasn’t sure if it still belonged to him or not. It had been way over a year since they last spoke and frankly, Francesca had not missed talking to him or Pastor. She had her husband, and his family to replace her messed up one. What exactly would she say to him anyway?

  Should I call him? Or should I leave well enough alone. I don’t want to resurrect my past. Maybe I’ll just pray for him, ask Tim to have the church to lift him up in prayer. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do.

  Francesca changed her mind again, picked up her cell phone and found Stiles phone number. She stared at each number 9 –0 –1 –3 – 4….stopped, placed the phone back over on the computer table, turned and walked out of the office. I can’t do it. Let your past stay in the past Francesca, and that means your family.

  Chapter 25

  “Sometimes I wish I could go back to before we met. Not because I want to forget you or what we had. But, because it would be so much easier than knowing what I don't have, now that you left.” Unknown

  Rena, along with a flock of other church going people, drifted inside Holy Rock for the second worship service of the morning. She walked inside and was pleasantly surprised at the stellar beauty of the church. It looked nothing like the old Holy Rock. From the time she walked inside and stepped into the vestibule, all the way to the sanctuary, she was impressed. The church had been totally remodeled. Rena thought about how proud Stiles must have been to know that Holy Rock was growing rapidly.

  The massive sanctuary was almost full. Rena went to the end section of a row of pews and found a seat mid-way the sanctuary. Part of her was a little nervous. Being inside Holy Rock, brought back memories; some good and some not so good, and she hoped she wouldn’t regret being here. It went against everything she said she wouldn’t do, but her heart wouldn’t let her stay away from. She promised herself that she wouldn’t say anything to Stiles. All she was going to do was sit through the service, see how he looked just to make sure he was okay, and then she would slip out at the end and go back to her hotel room until tomorrow morning when her flight left for Massachusetts.

  An usher came to her row and passed out the church bulletin. Rena looked through it but stopped and focused on the Praise Team when she heard the music start.

  She enjoyed the progression of the service, but swallowed deeply when Stiles walked up the steps leading to the pulpit. He looked just as handsome as ever. Like she thought he could see her out of all the thousands of people in the sanctuary, Rena looked away from him and down at her bulletin, but when he spoke, she couldn’t help it. She looked up and found herself being drawn into Stiles Graham.

  “Let me start by saying, God is good all the time and all the time God is good,” Stiles said.

  Rena listened as Stiles shared with the congregation, without going into deep detail, his sorrow and hurt over what had gone on in his marriage.

  “My marriage and my personal life should be just that, personal.” His voice seemed to tremble as he asked that his family be given privacy and time to work on their problems. “Do not believe everything you hear on the news or read in the paper. Contrary to what is being said, I want to assure you that I would never intentionally hurt my wife. I love her. I love my family, and I love you, Holy Rock.” Stiles looked out in the congregation. His eyes drifted to the pew where Detria always sat. It was empty.

  Rena listened and watched as Stiles bared his soul. She hadn’t seen this side of him in a very long time. On the one hand, he was a fiery, bold preacher but he usually tried to keep his family life private.

  “Again, I ask that you respect me and the first lady’s privacy during this time. I solicit your prayers. To those of you who feel I don’t deserve to be standing up here, then I respect your thoughts and opinion but I am on assignment by God, not man. I won’t leave this church, won’t step down from this pulpit, unless God says otherwise.”

  Rena looked around as droves of people stood up and started clapping. She watched as Stiles stood in the pulpit, shoulders back, head up, and a serious but satisfied look on his face.

  After several seconds of applause, Stiles raised his hand. The applause tapered off and people took their seats.

  He took his text and began his sermon.

  Rena used to love hearing him deliver the Word, and today was no different. Stiles preached about Joseph. He told of how Joseph’s brothers were jealous and went so far as to want him dead. He talked about how they wanted to see his life destroyed, but God had other plans for Joseph.

  “The devil wants to destroy me, but I’m here to tell you that I’m not up for defeat. God has other plans for me. I will not be moved,” Stiles preached.

  By the end of service, Rena was glad she had come. Hearing him deliver such a powerful message, she felt like Stiles would be fine She stood up after church was over and looked over her shoulder toward the exit, and saw that hundreds of people were already lined up to speak to him. Her eyes locked with his.

  Rena found it impossible to look away. She stared at him staring at her.

  “Excuse me,” someone behind her said, waking Rena from her dreamlike stance.

  “Oh, I’m sorry.” Rena moved to the side to allow the woman and kids to move past her.

  Stiles couldn’t believe his eyes. He thought, Is that Rena? No, it can’t be. It has to be someone that looks like her. It was like time had stopped. He couldn’t move, he maintained his gaze on the Rena lookalike. It is Rena. What is she doing in Memphis? And what is she doing at Holy Rock?

  Rena turned and headed toward an alternate exit, leading out of the church, when she heard her name called and felt someone’s hand on her shoulder. Her heart raced as she expected to turn around and come face to face with Stiles, but it wasn’t him.

  “Yes?” she answered the man.

  “Aren’t you Rena Graham?”

 
“Becton. Rena Becton,” she corrected the man, still unsure as to what he wanted.

  “Pastor Graham wanted me to tell you that he would like to say hello. He wants me to direct you to his office. That is, if you have the time,” the young man who appeared to be in his early twenties, stated.

  “I.” She looked back over her shoulder to see if she could still see Stiles among the crowd. Once again, her eyes locked with his, and he nodded, like he could read the apprehension in her mind. “Sure,” she said as she turned to face the man again.

  “Right this way, ma’am.”

  Rena followed the polite man down a winding corridor, up a small flight of about seven steps, and down another corridor. She was in constant amazement because Holy Rock was entirely different, in a good way. It was so much larger and just as elegant. She felt happy and overjoyed for Stiles, but also sad about his present dilemma.

  “Right in here, Mrs. Becton,” the man pointed as he opened the door to a large office that was decorated just like she imagined Stiles’ dream office would be.

  Stiles always had impeccable taste, much like his deceased mother, Audrey Graham.

  “You can have a seat,” the man said.

  “Thank you.” Rena slowly nodded and went to sit down in one of the chairs positioned in front of Stiles’ desk, while studying all the pictures, certificates, and accolades lining the walls.

  “Can I get you some water, coffee, anything?” the man offered. “No, but thank you for asking.”

  “No problem. Pastor Graham should be here soon.” The man left, closing the door behind him.

  Left alone, almost immediately, waves of guilt started to surface. What was she doing here? She should have left well enough alone. She chastised herself for being at Holy Rock and now she was sitting here in Stiles’ office. What if Detria came in? What if someone recognized her, or saw her being led to Stiles’ office. What if Robert found out where she was?