Rise of the Retics

by T J Lantz

  It was at that point Jaxon realized that the professor had stopped talking, and along with a large percentage of the crowd, was staring right at him. Not wanting to draw undo attention to himself, Jaxon gave a quick cough and a slight wave of feigned apology.

  “As I was saying,” continued the professor, “today we begin another year at Thales. Without a doubt, it is sure to be another year of great success creating citizens who are prepared to lead this great nation into a bright and prosperous future.”

  Professor Tallhat paused and looked up. On cue, the crowd let out a raucous cheer in unison. Jaxon wondered how they got so well trained. He really needed to get some tips from the good professor. He could barely get Rigby to sit without the promise of a meat snack.

  “There are many great events planned this year for all of our students,” continued Tallhat as the crowd calmed back down. “As always, the end of the year will bring the graduation arena tournament.” A much less unified cheer went up. Apparently a strong future was something everyone could get behind, but the idea of watching people beat on each other for several days took a more deviant mind to appreciate.

  Of course, this was the part where Jaxon found himself cheering the loudest. The graduation tournament was a rite of passage each year and one that Jaxon absolutely loved. There was something about structured violence that really got Jaxon’s blood pumping.

  Jaxon was somewhat relieved at Tallhat’s announcement as there was some talk of canceling this year’s event after the previous year’s gambling scandal.[22]

  Peering over next to him Jaxon saw that Tyranna was smiling. Everything about her—her white hair, her pale skin, the way she made eye contact with you when she spoke, and most definitely the fact that she seemed so happy all the time—should have made Jaxon want to vomit. Similar traits on other people always did. As far back as he could remember Jaxon hated three things in life—humans and retics that looked like humans, people that were happy about things he found stupid, and people who liked cats. Yet, despite filling his two main criteria for hatred, (and possibly a third—he would have to find out her opinion on cats later) he found that though he did feel somewhat nauseous around her, she, herself, did not make him want to retch. In fact, for some reason, he found her company enjoyable. He wondered if he was getting sick.

  After Tallhat finished his speech and introduced the other teachers at Thales, everyone was invited to sit with their cohorts. Jaxon wasn’t sure why certain people like Professor Tallhat had to go out of their way to use big words. It would have been far less confusing to say “sit with the people your age,” but no, they had to be cohorts, forever tied together through the power of impressive vocabulary.

  Jaxon sat down at the table with Tyranna. She was the only other person here he knew that didn’t hate him. Rigby found herself a comfortable spot under the table, eagerly waiting to make sure the floor of the great hall remained clean, especially in the event of disastrous food spillage.

  The remainder of his cohort filled in around the large stone table until the only seats remaining were directly across from Jaxon. They too were soon taken, one by a small squirrel-kin in a bright lavender dress, bandages, and singed black fur.

  He should have guessed Samantha was going to be here. She was the daughter of the captain of the Acorn Guard, after all. That kind of prestige gets you places. Even places you might not want to be, like Thales Academy.

  The other seat was filled in by an even smaller girl, a pink-haired gnome who, for some reason, had a frying pan on her head.[23] She wore a dress that looked like it had been dyed twenty different colors on twenty different days and was singed as if it had been burned repeatedly. To top it off she appeared to be talking to herself. No, not talking, that would sound too sane. She was angrily arguing with herself. The good news was she did, in fact, appear to be winning the argument.

  “Hi Sam-an-tha” Jaxon made sure to slowly draw out each syllable of the squirrel-kin’s name before he gave her the biggest, toothiest smile that he could muster. One of the benefits of having bright red skin was that it really made your teeth look perfectly white without even having to try. Jaxon could imagine how mad Samantha Bushytail was right now, having to sit across from him only a few days after losing in the arena. Jaxon kept up his smile, pointed directly at her, trying to not so subtly rub it in. He was glad she wasn’t too hurt, but that certainly didn’t detract from his victory.

  “Hi, Jaxon. I don’t think we’ve ever spoken, but I’ve heard stories about you. Mostly from Sam. I’m Gnipper!” The little gnome stood to bow in a formal nice-to-meet-you manner, when her companion less than gracefully pushed her back to her seat.

  Gnipper adjusted her iron pan helmet. “Oh, right,” the little gnome continued, pushing her bright pink bangs out of her eyes. “I forgot that Sam said that we don’t like you because you steal and cheat at fighting.” The gnome crossed her arms to show that she, without a doubt, had no intention of going against her friend’s advice. Both girls now sat quietly with their arms folded and with dirty looks centered directly on Jaxon’s smug smile.

  “Hey, Sam. Hi, Gnipper,” said Tyranna as she gave each girl a small wave. “Did you guys see your room yet? The one I’m in is huge!”

  “Not yet,” responded Gnipper, “but you can just show us yours since we’re going to live there too.”

  “Wait, you guys are my roommates?” Tyranna seemed very pleased with that idea.

  “Yuppers, I had my father make some changes while you were getting ready so we could all be together.”

  “Wait a sec, Gnipper,” Jaxon interjected. “Who’s your father that he can do something like that?”

  “That guy on stage,” she responded proudly. “The one with the really great hat.”

  “Your father is Professor Tallhat, the headmaster?”

  Jaxon didn’t bother to listen to her response. He was too busy trying to figure out how he could become her friend and then exploit that friendship for everything it was worth. Suddenly things at Thales were looking up for him.

  As Jaxon pondered the possibilities, the three girls became embroiled in a conversation that went faster than Jaxon could listen to. It was like they were speaking a different language, one that only female mouths and ears were fine-tuned enough to make sense out of. As his head swung back and forth from speaker to speaker, Jaxon simultaneously developed an even stronger appreciation for being born male.

  Jaxon figured he would use the time to examine the rest of his cohort, seeing as they were going to be the only people he spent any decent amount of time with over the foreseeable future. Across the table, sitting next to Gnipper and Sam, were three more girls (bringing the total for his cohort to six members of the female gender).

  Perusing though the table from left to right, Jaxon found himself having trouble taking his eyes off the first girl he saw. She had pale skin, almost clear like a block of ice. Her fine chiseled features were topped off by long curly hair, colored the deep blue of a calm ocean. Jaxon realized right away he was looking at a naiad, one of the several races of the species known as nymphs that inhabited Rosehaven. Unlike their sister race, dryads, who had a deep connection to trees and plants, naiads were linked inherently to waterways. Many of them actually lived in the lake that went under Lord Laszlo’s tower. Jaxon closed his eyes and tried to will himself away from looking at her. All the nymph races were known for their beauty and their ability to use that power to get what they wanted from males. Jaxon wasn’t sure how, but all nymphs were female. He figured he would ask William how that worked when he went home for his first break. Well, if William even still remembered who he was in two months or was even still interested in letting him come back to visit.

  Next to the naiad, who Jaxon would later find out had the less than original name of Creek, was a tiny faerie barely eighteen inches tall, but with a mouth that should have been saved for a giant. Her name was Bubble DiBasso, a fact that had Jaxon not already known he would have learned very q
uickly. She seemed to enjoy using her own name as much as she liked hearing her own voice. Bubble was the younger sister of Mirabella DiBasso, the unique character that Jaxon had had the misfortune of running into several times at the sheriff’s office.

  Bubble, like most faeries, was colorful and vibrant from head to toe. Her skin was tanned to an almond color and contrasted well with her cocoa hair and bright teal wings. Small purple, circular patterns throughout her translucent wings helped to give them an even bigger flair. As was the custom among the faerie people, Bubble wore clothing, jewelry, and makeup to match her wings. In Bubble’s case this consisted of a short sleeveless teal dress with a deep purple belt around her waist. On her arms she wore long purple gloves that reached all the way up to her elbow. Her eyes were painted in light blue shadow and her lips had a thick lilac sheen. Jaxon had heard many times that faeries were like poison dart frogs, the more colorful they appear, the more dangerous they’re bound to be. When it came to the DiBasso sisters, he couldn’t agree more.

  Bubble’s monologue held the rapt attention of Creek and a second girl, a squat and ugly dwarf named Gertrude, as if she were a god speaking down from the heavens. Jaxon was positive that no god in his or her right mind would visit Earth and make themselves an eighteen inch tall, annoying, winged creature, so he was pretty secure in assuming that the other two girls must have been idiots.

  This was supposed to be a difficult school to get into, but from what he had seen so far he was not impressed.

  Checking the other side of the table Jaxon saw that there were four boys sitting together. Bull sat flanked by his two cronies, a small weasel-eyed goblin named Fhart and a blue-skinned merfolk pretty boy named Wayde.

  Jaxon had never seen the final boy before. He was huge and even more muscular than William, not something normally seen on children his age. The large boy had metallic purple skin and no hair to speak of. Instead, on top of his head stood several large pointy quills, each a bright green, that seemed to glow in the dim lighting. All over his arms and shoulders the boy had similarly colored growths that Jaxon could only have described as warts, like one would find on a toad. To Jaxon the boy looked like some kind of troll, but the colorings were different than anything he’d ever seen before.

  Jaxon’s observations of his new schoolmates were interrupted by the arrival of the first course of the feast. Servers brought in plates of breads, cheeses, fruits, and vegetables as well as huge cauldrons of steaming soups.

  As if adhering to some long lost rules of etiquette almost all conversation in the hall died down as students and teachers alike dove into the fantastic spread in front of them. Eating was one of the few times in life where Jaxon didn’t mind his human half quite so much, as it offered far more choices for digestion than the usual demon’s diet of live rodents (though they do often come dipped in a delightful array of sauces).

  Jaxon wondered if perhaps that was another reason the Florensians hated demons so much. Jaxon could just imagine his father carving into Sam’s huge, now well-roasted, tail and offering him the first piece. Despite Jaxon’s aversion to live food, it still seemed like a nice family moment to him.

  “Do you eat like this every day?” whispered Tyranna.

  “No, but if they want to feed us like this every day, then that’s quite all right with me.” Jaxon smiled as he handed food under the table, making sure Rigby got to enjoy the feast as much as everyone else. It was the first smile Jaxon could remember having in a very long time that didn’t start with causing someone else’s misery or annoyance.

  Now he just had to figure out way to befriend Gnipper and reap the benefits of her position as the headmaster’s daughter. To do that he needed to go through Sam, who clearly seemed to have a close relationship with the little gnome. Perhaps it was time for a new approach.

  “Hey Sam,” Jaxon said, deciding to let the moment take him.

  “What do you want, Demon?” the squirrel snapped back without looking up from her butternut squash soup.

  “I never got to tell you, but great fight in the arena a few weeks ago. You were really good. I couldn’t believe how quick you were. Seriously, you really weren’t bad for a girl.”

  Sam slowly looked up from her soup, dropped her spoon, and stared at Jaxon. The usual look of disdain and anger was replaced by complete confusion. Jaxon smiled again. He was starting to get really good at this making friends thing.

  Chapter 16

  Cliffhanger

  Tyranna

  Rosehaven: Thales Academy

  November 7, 1503

  “Ugh,” said Gnipper as she slid a spoonful of oatmeal into her mouth. “I’m so tired and my legs hurt so much.”

  “Gnip,” Sam responded, “mouth closed when we chew, remember?”

  “Sorry, I’m just so exhausted. I’m used to being able to make my own schedule and sleep when I want to. It’s the physical training every morning. Gnome bodies are made for thinking, not running.”

  “You don’t like P.T.?” asked Tyranna as she cleaned an apple with her sleeve. “I think that’s one of the best parts of the day. It gets me ready for everything else. Besides, it’s nice out be out in the fresh air every morning.”

  “I agree with Tyr,” Sam said. “I find it to be enjoyable.”

  “Of course you two like it. You don’t come in last every time we do anything.”

  “Oh, Gnip,” responded Sam “you’re not last every time.”

  “Really? Name one time I haven’t been.”

  Tyranna thought hard about her question.

  “Oh, I know,” replied Tyranna. “The other day when Jaxon got sent to your father’s office for trying to nap during a race. Technically, he never finished that day, so he was last.”

  “Hmmm . . .,”said Gnipper, “I guess you’re right about that one. Where is Jaxon anyway?”

  “Who cares?” Sam answered, ignoring the fact that the question wasn’t directed at her.

  “He’s not that bad, Sam,” Tyranna said.

  “He’s arrogant, condescending, and thoughtless,” Sam responded. “And those are his better qualities. And don’t get me started on that dog.”

  “Oh, you can’t not like Rigby. She adores you.”

  “No, she adores chasing my tail.”

  Roof, Roof, Roof

  “Speak of the demon . . .,” Sam said in a low voice.

  “Morning, everyone!” Jaxon exclaimed as he entered the Great Hall.

  “Morning, Jaxon,” Tyranna replied. She gave him a smile. Sam wasn’t wrong about his qualities, but she thought there was something more to him. Something worth her friendship.

  “Morning,” added Gnipper.

  “Die in a fire, Demon,” snapped Sam without looking up from her breakfast.

  “Nice to see you too, Sam. Hopefully I’m not too late for breakfast.” Jaxon began shoveling oatmeal from the pot in the center of the table into a bowl while Tyranna put together a plate of meat scraps for Rigby.

  “No, we still have five minutes before P.T.,” responded Tyranna, “You’re actually somewhat early today.”

  “Yeah, I was up trying to take care of my homework for Mathematics class.”

  “I’m impressed,” Tyranna said with excitement. “That’s the first time I’ve seen you care about an assignment at all.”

  “Yeah, I tried to get Rigby to eat it for an hour, but she refused. I’m gonna need to come up with another excuse.”

  Tyranna slowly shook her head from left to right.

  “What are we doing with Coach Yogee today?” Gnipper asked the group.

  “Hiking outside the city walls, I heard,” Tyranna answered.

  “Oh that sounds like fun.” She responded sarcastically. “Gotta love Coach Yogee.”

  “Yogee’s not bad. He’s great in our individual time. He’s already got me able to shift into two forms—a mouse and a hawk. I’m not so good at flying though. How have your individual trainings gone so far?”

  “Well, it’s only been t
hree weeks,” answered Gnipper, “but the Professor and I have some great experiments in the works. We’re going to redefine science in Rosehaven.”

  “Gnipper, why do you call your father ‘professor’?” asked Tyranna.

  “Oh, because he says he didn’t spend years studying to be my father. That was just a “little Gnipper”. That’s what he calls accidents.”

  “Oh,” responded Tyranna, not sure what else to say. “What about you, Sam. How’s your sword fighting going?”

  “I would prefer not to speak of it. A true warrior never reveals her secrets.”

  “Well,” Jaxon interrupted, “Sam might not be doing well enough to talk about, but I certainly am. Lord Malverne says I’m already probably a better sorcerer than he’ll ever be. When we’re alone he actually calls me Lord Jaxon and I call him Mal. I may even be able to graduate at the end of this year.”

  “Four years early?” Tyranna asked skeptically.

  “Can you ever open your mouth without a lie coming out of it, Demon?” Sam snapped less subtly.

  “Excuse me Sam, but I think you’re just jealous. Anyone can learn to swordfight, but it takes real talent to control the elements. I can give you another demonstration if you would like.”

  “Oh really? Shall we have a rematch of the arena then?” Sam jumped up and dropped her paw to the handle of the blade on her right hip.

  Ring Ring Ring

  “Oh thank goodness,” said Tyranna, “that’s the bell. We’re late for P.T.”

  “This isn’t over yet, Demon,” Sam growled as she stood up from the table.

  #

  “I don’t think I can go any longer.”

  “Gnip,” Sam replied, “we’ve only been hiking for an hour.”

  “Yeah,” Jaxon agreed, “and you’ve been complaining for fifty-seven minutes of it.”

  “I told you that hiking is not for gnomish legs. They’re small and weak. We’re much better at events that involve sitting.”

  “Pick up the pace, students,” yelled Coach Yogee. His stout dwarven legs were inexhaustible. “Mount Daggerbite isn’t going to climb itself.”