Shadowed Instincts

by Wendi Wilson

  “Thanks, Willow,” Melanie said, staring down at her lap.

  “Becoming intimate with any man is something that you really need to put a lot of thought and soul searching into. When it comes to our kind, though, you have to be extra careful.”

  “Why?”

  “Our physical reactions are much stronger, particularly when we’re young and experiencing these emotions for the first time. It’s hard enough for regular teenagers to understand and control what their bodies are telling them, but for us, it’s much worse. Each one of our senses is heightened. Our sense of sight. Smell. Touch. Everything is extreme and can stir those confusing feelings into a frenzy.”

  “So how do I know?”

  “If you’re really ready?”

  Melanie nodded. “Yeah,” she said quietly.

  “Just put some real thought into it, Melanie. Don’t just act on impulse in the heat of the moment. If, when you’re nowhere near Jeremy, you can think rationally and honestly want to take that next step, then you’ll know. Otherwise, you’ll never be sure if you made the decision or if the changes in your body did.”

  She tossed and turned in her bed, trying to take a nap, but her brain wouldn’t turn off. It seemed like such an easy decision when she was with Jeremy. She loved him. She wanted him. Simple as that. Now, alone in her room, she still loved and wanted him, but worried maybe that wasn’t a good enough reason.

  Frustrated with her own thoughts, she sat up with a huff and grabbed her phone. Pulling up Jeremy’s number, she sent him a text message.

  “Hey, don’t know if U R still with dad, but I am going 2 go try out that swimming hole. U wanna come?”

  She set her phone down on the bed and got up to find her new swimsuit. She hadn’t thought to buy a new one on her shopping spree, so her mom had taken the SUV into town to buy her one the day before. Melanie hadn’t seen it yet, but her mom had assured her it was really cute.

  “Yeah,” she said aloud to herself. “Mom’s definition of cute isn’t always the same as mine.” She found a shopping bag on the floor of her closet and looked inside. “What the hell?”

  Melanie frowned as she pulled not one, but two pieces from the bag. She pinched a piece in each hand, looking doubtfully from one to the other. She had never worn a two piece bathing suit in her life. This is a disaster, she thought. I am going to look like an idiot in this.

  Her phone beeped and she dropped the offending pieces on the bed to grab it. She groaned as she read it.

  “Oh God, yes. I need a break, bad. Thank U so much! I’ll wrap things up here and meet U there in 20 minutes.”

  Melanie plopped down on the bed and glared at the bikini. There was no way she could cancel on Jeremy now. She took a deep breath, stood up, and started taking off her clothes. She threw them into a pile on the floor, but made no move to try on the revealing bathing suit.

  “Stop being ridiculous, Melanie,” she chastised herself. “You can do this. He loves you just the way you are. He is not going to run away screaming, or laughing, when he sees you in this poor excuse for a swimsuit.”

  She put the suit on and walked quickly to her closet door to look in the full length mirror. When she saw herself, she tilted her head to the side and breathed, “Huh.”

  It wasn’t completely horrendous. The color suited her. It was a light turquoise that made her eyes look bright. It had a mid-rise waistline that stopped just under her belly button, covering the gentle swell of her hips and abdomen. The top had an underwire and some padding, so her boobs actually looked good. She turned around to see the back and was pleased to see her butt was fully covered.

  She sighed as she looked lower. Her thighs were still rounded and the suit did nothing but accentuate them. She turned back around and it was the same in the front. Despite the weight she had lost, her legs were still very curvy and there was no sign of that elusive thigh gap.

  “Well, I guess this is all I got, so I have to wear it,” she thought.

  She grabbed a pair of running shorts and a tank top and threw them on over the bikini. Slipping on a pair of flip flops, she left the room and headed for the stairs. At the bottom, she saw her parents walking down the hall toward her dad’s office and she called out to them.

  “Hey guys, I’m going swimming.”

  They stopped and turned, walking back toward her. Elaine had a mischievous glint in her eye as she asked, “How does your new suit fit?”

  “I can’t believe you bought me that, Mother!”

  Elaine laughed. “I knew you’d never buy one for yourself, so I took advantage of the fact that you weren’t with me. So, how does it look? Let me see.”

  Melanie caught her hands as Elaine tried to grab the hem of her tank top and pull it up. “Mom, stop! You can see it later. I have to go. Jeremy is meeting me at the pond in a few minutes and I want to get there first. If I can get in the water, maybe he won’t see me in this thing.”

  “Oh, stop it, Melanie. I bet you look fabulous in it.” She turned and looked at Darren, who had been standing silently behind her with a disgruntled look on his face. “What?” she asked him.

  “Elaine, that swimsuit doesn’t show too much, does it?”

  She shook her head at him. “It’s perfectly respectable.”

  Grabbing his hand and pulling him away, she looked over her shoulder at Melanie. “Have fun, sweetie. And don’t worry, I’m sure it looks great.”

  “Yeah, great,” Melanie mumbled, heading down the hall to the back door.

  When she got down to the pond, she breathed a sigh of relief to find it deserted. Taking a quick look around to make sure no one was in the vicinity, she slipped off her flip flops and shorts. She had the tank top half way over her head when she heard small waves lapping against the shore by her feet.

  The shirt snagged under her chin and she froze with her arms over her head. In the middle of the pond she saw a ring of ripples, as if something had ducked under the water. She disentangled herself from her tank top and threw it on the pile of clothes at her feet.

  “It must have been a fish,” she whispered to herself as she walked to the edge and dipped her toes in to test the temperature of the water.

  She smiled at its warmth and waded in to her knees, then her thighs. She stretched her arms over her head in preparation to dive forward, then screamed as a bright blond head popped out of the water in front of her with a growl. She stumbled backwards and her heel caught on a rock. She shrieked as her momentum took her backwards. Just before she hit the water, strong arms circled around her waist and pulled her upright.

  “Gotcha.”

  She felt the word more than heard it as warm breath hit her neck. Warm palms covered her bare back, pulling her flush against a hard-muscled chest. Her arms gripped his biceps in a stranglehold to maintain her balance. She opened her eyes and reared her head back to look into his face.

  “Declan,” she murmured, as a husky chuckle emanated from his chest.

  She looked into his eyes and saw a glimmer of heat in their aquamarine depths that was at war with the goofy smirk on his face. He stared back at her without saying a word as they stood in a frozen embrace in the thigh-deep water. She felt a tingle of heat on her back from his hands, and her body started to warm at the pleasant touch. His skin felt good against hers, like velvet. A gentle sigh escaped her lips as her eyes started to drift closed.

  “Melanie?”

  She tried to jump away from him at the sound of her name, but Declan didn’t release her quickly enough. Her feet lost their grip on the bottom of the pond and she started to teeter sideways. Declan let go of her waist quickly and grabbed her arms to steady her. Once she had her balance, they both let go and turned to see Jeremy standing on the shore next to Melanie’s clothes.

  “What’s going on here?” he asked with a frown marring his forehead.

  “Jeremy-”

  “It was my fault,” Declan interrupted. “Mel didn’t know I was here and I thought it would be funny to scare her. S
he almost fell and I caught her. That’s all.”

  Jeremy pulled his dark eyebrows even lower over his eyes. “Mel, are you okay?”

  “Y-yes,” she stuttered, putting distance between herself and Declan.

  As she walked toward the shore, she saw Jeremy’s nostrils flare as his eyebrows shot up and his eyes roamed down the length of her body. She had forgotten all about that damn bathing suit! She wrapped her arms around her middle self-consciously as she stepped onto the shore beside him.

  She heard splashing behind her, but didn’t break eye contact with Jeremy as Declan exited the water. She heard him mumble something about leaving and his footsteps faded into the distance. Her hands dropped to her sides and she shook them with vigor. Her insides were quaking with nervous energy as she spoke quickly.

  “Jeremy, that wasn’t what it loo-”

  He cut her off with a slash of his hand. “I know, Mel. I trust you. It’s him I don’t trust. I had a feeling he wanted you before, but now I know for sure.”

  “I don’t think so. I mean…”

  She trailed off as his eyes dropped from hers and roamed her body. She could tell his mind was already going in another direction. She tried to wrap her arms around her middle again, but Jeremy grabbed her hands and held them out, twining his fingers through hers.

  “Where did this amazing get up come from?” he asked with a lopsided grin.

  “Ugh. My mom bought it for me.”

  “Thank you, Elaine,” he said with mock conviction, throwing his head back and shouting it to the skies.

  “Shut up. I know it’s ridiculous.”

  The smile dropped from Jeremy’s face and he stared intently into her eyes. “Melanie,” he said seriously, “you look amazing. You always look beautiful, but this…this is too much for any man to resist. Ask Declan if you don’t believe me.” His mouth dropped into a frown.

  Melanie released his hands and wrapped her hands around his neck. “I don’t care what Declan thinks. Only you,” she said, then pulled his head down for a kiss.

  He kissed her back for a brief second before looping his arm behind her legs and picking her up. He cradled her in his arms and waded out into the water. When the water reached his waist, he released her legs and let them slide down into the water.

  Jeremy kissed her hungrily, walking her backwards until the water was deep enough to reach their chests. His hands skimmed her naked torso, feeling skin that wasn’t normally left bare. Melanie’s skin burned where his hands touched, and she squirmed in his embrace.

  Jeremy broke off their kiss, his breath heaving in and out in heavy gasps. Melanie groaned in displeasure, forgetting all her doubts from earlier and tried to wrap her legs around his waist beneath the water. Jeremy pulled away a few steps and looked at her with one eyebrow arched.

  “You know I love you, right?” he asked, his face serious.

  “Yeah,” she said, drawing the word out like a question.

  As soon as the word left her mouth, he jumped forward and wrapped his hands around her waist. With a jerk of his arms, he had her up and out of the water. She flew backwards and landed awkwardly on her back, sinking below the water quickly before shooting back up to the surface. She sputtered and pushed the wet mop of her hair out of her eyes.

  Seeing Jeremy trying to suppress his laughter, she growled, “Oh, now you’re gonna get it,” before sinking under the water and swimming for his legs.

  Chapter 18

  Melanie woke up the next morning with a smile on her face. Swimming with Jeremy, a fun laughter-filled dinner with only him and her parents, and a late night cuddle session in her bed all contributed to her good mood. She rolled over and smelled Jeremy’s unique scent of pine trees and boy on her pillow.

  She sat straight up and gasped as she realized what day it was. “It’s my birthday,” she whispered.

  Melanie knew her mom was planning a surprise for her. They hadn’t discussed her birthday since Saturday at dinner, but she had witnessed several hushed conversations that had ended abruptly whenever she entered the room. She just didn’t know what her mom had up her sleeve.

  All that mattered to her, though, was that she wasn’t going to shift today like she had originally thought. She still had a few days before she had to face that hurdle, so she decided to just enjoy the day. First order of business: get dressed.

  She put on her new turquoise blouse and jeans, paired with flat black sandals and silver hoop earrings. She curled her hair to define her soft waves and pulled one side back with a black clip. For make-up, she carefully drew on eyeliner and plum eyeshadow with a swoop of mascara. She puckered her lips and smoothed on tinted lip balm.

  She stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. “You are beautiful,” she said, reciting her old mantra. She smiled and saw the way her eyes lit up. “This is what Jeremy sees when he looks at me,” she mouthed silently.

  He loves me and I love him, she thought. That’s all that matters. Anything and everything we do together will be beautiful because of that love. I’m ready for everything. Smiling brighter, she flicked off the light headed for the stairs.

  “Happy birthday, baby,” Elaine called out as soon as she entered the dining room.

  Melanie smiled and nodded her head in thanks as the others in the room repeated the sentiment. Her mom, dad, Chad and Willow were already eating and she waved at them as she headed toward the buffet table. Declan stood there waiting for her.

  “Happy birthday, Mel,” he said quietly, giving her a small smile.

  “Thanks.”

  She tried not to let her discomfort show. She felt weird around him after that scene at the pond. She kept her eyes on the buffet as she loaded up her plate with eggs, bacon, sausage and French toast.

  “Hey,” he whispered, leaning in close. “Is everything okay?”

  Melanie took a big step back and forced a smile. “Sure. Why wouldn’t it be?” she squeaked out.

  “Mel, I…”

  He trailed off as a pair of arms encircled her from behind. She felt a kiss on her cheek and heard a husky voice say, “Happy birthday, Mel.”

  She turned her head to see Jeremy’s face and he quickly pecked a kiss on her lips. When she turned back, Declan had walked away, heading for his seat at the table. Melanie pulled away from Jeremy and faced him with an arched brow.

  “Staking our claim this morning, are we?”

  “Who? Me?” One side of his mouth lifted in a smirk, contradicting his innocent tone.

  “Uh huh,” she said.

  “So, what’s on the agenda for today, birthday girl?” Darren asked after she and Jeremy had both taken a seat at the table.

  “I don’t know. I figured you guys were cooking something up, so I didn’t make any plans.”

  Her parents smiled at each other knowingly. “Well,” her mom said, “our plans for you don’t start until this evening, so do whatever you feel like today. Just be home by six.”

  “Okay,” Melanie said, arching a brow at that cryptic answer.

  “I have something special planned for us,” Jeremy whispered, nudging her side with his elbow.

  Four sets of eyes shot toward them and Melanie blushed. Damned shifter hearing, she thought.

  Luckily her mom didn’t notice the curious stares and everyone went back to eating like nothing happened. Melanie kicked Jeremy’s leg under the table and he grimaced, nearly choking on his eggs.

  Melanie rolled her eyes and struck up a conversation with Willow and Chad. She tried not to make eye contact with Declan, but he was sitting directly across the table from her, so it was difficult. The few times she did catch his eye, he would quickly look back down at his plate.

  When she finished eating, she looked at Jeremy and he nodded. They both stood and said their goodbyes, promising to be back no later than six for whatever surprise her parents were planning. Jeremy took her hand and led her from the room.

  “So where are we going?” she asked as he led her out to the SUV and opene
d the passenger door for her.

  “No questions,” he said, shutting the door after she climbed in.

  They drove out of the compound in silence. Melanie glanced over at him and noticed his knuckles were white where he gripped the steering wheel. She looked up at his face. His eyebrows were drawn down and a muscle ticked in his jaw.

  “Hey,” she said softly, placing her hand on his thigh. “You okay?”

  His features relaxed and he reached down to grasp her hand and twine his fingers through hers. “Yeah, I’m good. Just a little nervous, I guess.”

  “Nervous about what?”

  He shook his head without turning to look at her. “No questions.”

  “Ugh, you suck.”

  He laughed and squeezed her hand. “You’ll find out soon enough.”

  They drove for about twenty five minutes and a large lake came into view. Melanie started seeing signs that read “Herrington Lake” and Jeremy pulled into the marina. She opened her mouth to ask what they were doing, but snapped it shut when Jeremy arched one eyebrow at her.

  He pulled into a parking spot and jumped out, racing around the car to open her door. Taking her hand, he grabbed a duffel bag out of the back and led her to the marina office. She stood quietly beside him as he signed some paperwork and was handed a set of keys. When he was done, he took her hand and led her to the ladies restroom. He pulled a plastic grocery sack from his bag and handed it to her.

  “Go change,” he said, giving her a little nudge toward the bathroom door.

  Pushing the door open with her hip, she peeked inside the bag and saw her new swimsuit and a pair of knit shorts. She smiled to herself as she went into a stall and changed. Rolling up her clothes and shoving them into the bag, she walked out of the stall and stopped when she saw herself in the mirror.

  Jeremy hadn’t packed a shirt to wear over her bikini, just the shorts. She slowly pulled the black clip from her hair and removed her hoop earrings, examining her body as she did. She was slightly thinner than she was the day before. She turned to the left, then the right, checking out her profile. She wasn’t sure if her body was still transforming in preparation for her first shift, or if she was just bloated yesterday, but she could definitely see a difference.