More Than A Feeling (The Boston Five Series #3)

by Poppy J. Anderson

  Aidan frowned as he flushed as well. “What makes you think I haven’t buried the hatchet already?”

  “I’m not stupid,” Shane said good-naturedly. “I understand that you want to beat me up for putting you behind bars, but—”

  “That’s where you’re wrong,” Aidan cut him short, shaking his head. “The reason I’d like to beat you up, Shane, is because you slept with my sister under false pretenses. Going to jail was purely my own fault.”

  “Okay.” Shane raised both his hands and nodded at Aidan. “You have one hit.”

  “What?” Aidan blinked, irritated. “Are you drunk?”

  “Sober as a nun,” Shane said. “But you can hit me if it’ll make you feel better. And if we can all celebrate a beautiful wedding with a happy bride tomorrow.”

  Aidan took a step backward and frowned. “Are you serious?”

  “Absolutely.”

  He shook his head. “Do you really think I’d feel better if my sister found herself walking down the aisle with a man with a broken nose tomorrow?”

  “Then what?” Shane asked reluctantly.

  No less reluctantly, Aidan lifted his chin and narrowed his eyes. “Fitzpatrick, I’ll try to get used to the fact that you’re my brother-in-law if you promise you’ll continue to make my sister happy.”

  “That shouldn’t be a problem.” Shane was beaming at him now. He cocked his head to one side. “Then maybe I’ll try to get used to the fact that you slept with my sister in return, O’Shea.”

  “What?” Aidan’s face crumpled despite Shane’s friendly tone. “How do you know that?” he croaked helplessly.

  Shane shrugged. “Until a second ago, it was just a hunch. Maybe you shouldn’t look at Alec like you’re thinking about putting his feet in a tub of wet cement and then shoving him into the harbor.”

  “Wait a minute …” Aidan shook his head and stared at Shane, who calmly walked over to the sink to wash his hands. “You’re not angry?”

  “About what? That you slept with my sister?” Shane met Aidan’s gaze in the mirror and wrinkled his nose in amusement. “I think Kayleigh’s old enough to decide for herself who she sleeps with.”

  Aidan frowned. “Shane, she’s your sister, and I’m a convicted criminal.”

  “You sold stolen electric equipment and hung out with the wrong crowd,” Shane summed up with another shrug. “That doesn’t make you Hannibal Lecter, or Charles Manson, or even Vito Corleone.”

  “Your sister’s a doctor,” Aidan pointed out.

  “And a damned good one, to boot,” Shane agreed proudly, moving his hands to the dryer.

  “Do you really think I’m good enough for your sister?” Aidan asked between clenched teeth.

  “Let me answer that with a counter question.” Shane looked at him, the corners of his mouth twitching. “Do you really think I’m good enough for your sister?”

  ***

  “What do you think the guys are doing right now?”

  Kayleigh looked up from the place card she was filling in. Thorne, Hayden, and Thorne’s friend Dana sat around her, working diligently.

  “It’s Shane’s bachelor party,” Kayleigh told her soon-to-be sister-in-law with a grim expression. “They’re drinking, smoking cigars, and watching naked women smear each other with frosting and lick it off various parts of their bodies. The guys will be fidgeting in their seats, slobbering, and dreaming up new masturbation scenarios.”

  Everyone was silent for a moment, until Hayden cleared her throat. “Have you seen too many porn movies lately, Kayleigh?” she asked cautiously. “Or have you just been on a diet and recently added frosting to your daydreams?”

  “Neither,” Kayleigh replied, slightly miffed, and gave her friend a cold look, which Hayden answered with an amiable smile.

  Kayleigh couldn’t have said why she was in such a dark mood, or why she had to force her cynicism on the other three women, who were sitting with her in her mother’s living room to finish the last of the preparations for tomorrow’s wedding. The fact that she was being forced to write names on place cards before going upstairs to try on the dress her mom was still sewing depressed her. Kayleigh wished there was a way to opt out of taking part in tomorrow’s festivities. She’d even considered switching her shift with someone so she’d have to work. But since she knew that would mean eternal damnation, and only after her own mother cut her head off, she’d quickly dismissed the idea.

  If only she hadn’t asked Alec to be her date.

  If only she hadn’t let Aidan into her guest room, her bed, or her heart.

  Everything would’ve been so much easier if she wasn’t facing the mess of attending her brother’s wedding with the man she’d thought she was infatuated with for three years, but now knew to be absolute bullshit, while managing to desert the man she really cared about.

  Since she’d slept with Aidan, he was being so impersonal, cool, and standoffish that Kayleigh sometimes wondered if she’d only imagined their wild night together. The Aidan she’d dragged into her bed seemed a different person than the Aidan who now barely gave her a second glance. How could a man be that passionate, tender, and accessible, and act like a complete stranger the next day? Of course she knew her behavior the next morning had been absolutely shitty, but was she supposed to do, considering her own confusion and guilty conscience? Kayleigh hadn’t wanted to dismiss him like that, but she’d been startled and dumbfounded by how easily she’d forgotten all about her precious Alec to focus exclusively on Aidan.

  Hayden had been right. She couldn’t harbor deep feelings for one man when all she could think of was sleeping, chatting, and being with another man.

  And that was what she’d wanted to tell Aidan just two days later. She’d wanted to tell him how much she really liked him, and that she wanted to be more than just friends. But then he’d dropped the bomb about close to finding an apartment, and he’d signaled unmistakably that he didn’t want to have anything more to do with her.

  Kayleigh had fallen in love with Aidan—truly and genuinely fallen in love this time—but he didn’t appear to feel even remotely the same.

  She’d never experienced real heartbreak before—nothing worse than the disappointment after a failed high-school flirt. But now she understood exactly why she was feeling this churning mix of emotions consisting of despondency, anger, and desperation. And she also knew why she’d already sent several prayers to heaven that Alec Anderson might contract food poisoning, or maybe fracture his ankle. She didn’t want him at this wedding where the man at whose side she yearned to sit and with whom she wanted to dance would be close by yet not interested.

  “Thanks a lot for the illustration, Kayleigh.” Thorne’s voice tore her away from her bitter thoughts. “Now I’m going to dream of strippers tonight. And I could really have done without the image of them licking frosting off each other.”

  “If you let Shane know you have dreams that could be interpreted as lesbian-leaning, he’ll probably love you even more,” her friend Dana giggled.

  Kayleigh noticed the gentle look her own best friend was giving her, and couldn’t help feeling that Hayden knew exactly what was going on. She met the eyes of the lovable blonde, who was absently rocking a cradle with her foot. Baby Kayla had been sleeping soundly so far, undisturbed by their busy chatter. Kayleigh gave Hayden an apologetic look, trying to silently excuse her abominable behavior.

  “Say, Kayleigh,” Thorne said teasingly, “is it possible that you’re actually worried about a certain cop who’ll be escorting you to the wedding and his affinity for strippers and frosting?” Thorne gave her a naughty wink.

  Kayleigh shook her head distractedly. If anything, she was worried the bride’s brother might be a little too fond of strippers. But she could hardly tell Thorne that. “I’m not even interested in Alec.”

  Dana sighed, wearing a dreamy expression. “Ooh, Shane’s extremely hot partner? He’s your date, Kayleigh? Wow, lucky you!”

  “No,” she protes
ted, trying to contain the urge to fidget nervously in her chair. “There’s nothing going on between him and me. He’s Shane’s partner and my pal. If Ryan hadn’t started this silly bet, I’d just go on my own.”

  “That’s a flimsy pretext for going out with Alec.” Thorne giggled. “I totally get it. He really is hot.”

  “Those aren’t the words of a blushing bride,” Dana teased her good-naturedly.

  “Hey,” Thorne protested loudly. “Just because I’m getting married tomorrow doesn’t mean I’m blind. Alec is hot, yes, but Shane is a good deal hotter. Plus, Shane’s the type of guy who’ll still adore you when you’re lying in bed sick and your nose is running like crazy. Alec, on the other hand, would probably switch out his current Barbie for a newer model if she so much as sneezed.”

  Kayleigh felt sick to her stomach for a moment. Thorne’s assessment didn’t only sound almost exactly like Hayden’s, but it also rang pretty true, she now realized.

  In order to end the uncomfortable conversation about her date with Alec, she cleared her throat loudly. “You’re not telling me anything I don’t already know,” she said. “Alec’s really not my type, and he’s only a friend, but thanks for your concern.”

  She was glad to be called upstairs by her mom a few seconds later, even though that meant a final fitting session with the dress her mother had insisted on sewing. Kayleigh was at least glad to see that the dress didn’t have pink puffed sleeves. And her mom actually seemed to have taken pains to highlight her only daughter’s physical assets.

  With suspicious eyes, Kayleigh took in the plunging neckline of the sea foam-green dress, as well as its figure-hugging cut. Faced with her mother’s beaming, expectant face, she didn’t want to appear critical. Instead, she assured her mom that she’d never seen such an amazing dress before and that she was looking forward to wearing it the next day.

  Of course she was not looking forward to wearing anything to that wedding. She wouldn’t even have been satisfied if she could’ve worn her favorite baseball jersey at this point.

  So she slouched home with the garment bag and a thoroughly grumpy face, sighing as she entered her empty, dark, and much too silent house.

  She switched on the lights and carried the dress into her bedroom, hanging it in the closet with great care but with a heavy heart. Then she put on a pair of sweatpant cut-offs and an old tee from her college days and went back downstairs to fix herself a bowl of cornflakes and watch some TV.

  She could have gone to bed and tried to sleep, so she’d be ready for the big day, but the fact that Aidan wasn’t home made her nervous.

  Kayleigh felt rather pitiable as she lay on the couch, flipped through the channels, and stuffed her mouth with chips, after the cornflakes had been eaten, all while listening closely for any sounds from outside.

  She was about to fall asleep when she heard the key turn in the lock.

  Immediately, she was wide awake again. She lifted her head to watch Aidan step into the hallway and close the door behind him. For a brief moment, he didn’t notice her, while she could still stare at him—tall, solidly built, dressed casually—as he took off his denim jacket and hung it neatly on the coatrack.

  When he stuck his head into the living room and acknowledged her with a curt nod, she wished she didn’t feel quite so self-conscious around him, but all she could muster was a weak “hello.”

  “Hello,” he returned in his rumbling voice.

  Kayleigh swallowed against the lump in her throat. “So? How was the bachelor party?”

  “Okay.” He buried his hands in the pockets of his pants.

  He didn’t seem willing to make small talk. He actually made as if to turn around and disappear upstairs, but Kayleigh wouldn’t let him. She swung toward him on the couch and switched off the TV. “Thorne was worried you guys were at a show where strippers were licking frosting off each other’s bodies,” she lied shamelessly, offering him a shaky smile she hoped he would return.

  But he didn’t.

  Instead, he merely said, “No frosting.”

  “Thorne will be glad to hear it.” She sighed, waiting for him to say something else. Anything. Maybe ask how her evening had been.

  When he finally opened his mouth again, what he said was not what she’d hoped for. “The realtor called today. I can move into my new apartment next week. So I’m leaving Monday.”

  Her eyes widened in shocked disbelief. “What? But … but I thought …”

  “Of course I’ll finish laying the floor in your office, and hanging the ceiling lamps. I promised you that, after all.”

  Dumbfounded, she shook her head and stood. “Aidan, I’m not worried about my floor or the goddamn lamps!”

  “No?”

  She couldn’t tell him that she didn’t want him go, that she loved having him around. So she merely stammered, “Y-you live here.”

  His blue eyes narrowed. “Temporarily, yes. And I’m really grateful for your hospitality. But I don’t want to overstay my welcome. When I move out, you’ll finally have your house to yourself again.”

  “But … but I told you that you could stay here as long as you like,” she replied, sounding almost desperate.

  His grim tone didn’t soften. “That was very nice of you, but I think it’s high time that I leave.”

  “Aidan—”

  “No, Kayleigh,” he interrupted hollowly. “I don’t want to stay and get on your nerves.”

  “You aren’t getting on my nerves!”

  He laughed dryly. “It’s okay,” he said calmly and deliberately. “I know when I’m not wanted.”

  “Not wanted?” Now she was simultaneously nervous, panicked, and outraged. “I don’t understand what I did to make you treat me like the kind of person who kicks little dogs!”

  “And I don’t understand why you suddenly don’t want me to move out,” he replied as impatiently as she’d just sounded. “Just a few days ago, you wanted to send me packing right away, like you did once before. And you didn’t exactly appear thrilled by my continuing presence. I thought you’d be relieved to finally be rid of me now. You were the one who said it wouldn’t be a good idea for us to have anything more to do with each other.”

  “Now you’re twisting my words,” she snapped. “I only said that sex wasn’t a good idea because it would complicate matters!”

  He nodded vehemently. “Yes, you did, and it seems you were right, so I’m packing up my things and moving out—before it gets even more complicated.”

  “You’re making it complicated!” she blurted.

  Aidan lowered his head, and his shoulders sagged. All of a sudden, he no longer sounded upset, but rather … exhausted. “Maybe so, but I think I’m past the age where one can live with a bad compromise.”

  She didn’t understand what that meant and started to ask, but he turned around and hastened up the stairs.

  Chapter 13

  Apart from the fact that the collar of his shirt was too tight and a little itchy, and also apart from the fact that Kayleigh drew almost all of his attention with her cleavage, the ceremony was a wonderful event.

  Aidan watched Thorne and Shane say their vows, receive the blessing of the Holy Church, exchange rings, and kiss each other for a lengthy amount of time after the priest proclaimed them husband and wife.

  As he stood to the right of the newlywed couple, it delighted him to see his sister this happy, but then his glance wandered to his left, where Kayleigh was wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. Aidan had felt a little strange about playing the part of best man next to Kayleigh’s maid of honor.

  Of course it had been a nice gesture on the part of the couple, giving these tasks to the bride’s brother and the groom’s sister, but Aidan could easily have done without this honor, since that would have kept him from standing so close to the woman responsible for his tossing and turning the night before. And it would also have saved him from taking part in such a romantic ceremony while he felt despondent at the thought that
he and Kayleigh could never have something like this.

  It was a special kind of torture to see her in that breathtaking dress and not be allowed to touch her.

  As they all left the church, and Aidan walked down the long aisle next to Kayleigh, the distance seemed unbearably far. He was relieved when they stepped outside, and he was able to move a little off to the side, where he could watch from a safe distance as Shane and Thorne accepted countless congratulations and beamed with happiness and newlywed bliss. Brady, who wore an exact copy of his father’s suit, announced loudly that he was ready to eat cake now.

  Aidan was anything but a sentimental idiot, but seeing his sister in this moment, the culmination of her quest for happiness, he was deeply touched.

  As soon as he pondered Thorne’s happiness, his eyes wandered over to where Kayleigh was standing next to her oldest brother, greeting guests and looking so beautiful that it literally took his breath away for a few seconds. So far, he’d seen her in casual attire, in her scrubs, and her birthday suit, but in this special dress with the low neckline and the color that matched her eyes, she looked absolutely stunning. He’d known before that he’d fallen in love with her, but he suddenly had the urge to pull Kayleigh into an embrace and let everyone present see that the dark-haired woman with the big mouth and the talent for baseball was his. And that told him that this was serious, irrevocable, and potentially heartbreaking.

  He hated even more the feeling that gripped him shortly after, when he was forced to sit at the same table with her and her cop companion, next to the bridal couple, and watch the arrogant cop exude charm and try to flirt with Kayleigh.

  Even though Aidan couldn’t overlook the fact that she didn’t appear to be enjoying her date, all he felt was an overwhelming jealousy. It was getting increasingly harder to smile as they sat there chatting.

  For the sake of his sister, he endured the obligatory cutting of the cake, managed to hold his short, prepared speech, and then proceeded to listen to Kayleigh’s emotional counterpart, which caused a big lump to form in his throat as she philosophized about the happy couple and the nature of love, her voice choking up a few times in the process.