More Than A Feeling (The Boston Five Series #3)

by Poppy J. Anderson

  Aidan watched her sit at the circular table again afterwards, her cheeks red; he watched her grab her wine glass and take a large sip. She gave him a doubtful look over the rim of the glass, as if she wanted to ask him whether she’d embarrassed herself by saying something stupid. The gesture made him offer her an encouraging smile.

  Just when she returned his smile, and kindled a tiny spark in his chest, her neighbor leaned closer, put an arm around the back of her chair, and lowered his face so close to hers that Aidan’s smile died immediately.

  He couldn’t watch them anymore, couldn’t watch Shane’s partner flirt with Kayleigh, so he rose and went to the bar, where he met Ryan chugging down whiskey and not looking happy either.

  He nodded at Ryan’s glass when the bar man gave him a questioning look, and then he nudged the younger man. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” Ryan mumbled and leaned his back against the bar, letting his eyes roam the tables. “What are we now, Aidan? Are you my brother-in-law? Or is there a word for double-in-law-something?”

  “Do you really give a shit?” Aidan took the glass of whiskey from the waiter’s hand, only to drink down half of it in one sip. Then he mimicked Ryan’s posture and opened the top button of his shirt.

  “Wow, your mood seems to be just as pleasant as mine,” Ryan said sarcastically.

  “My mood is absolutely fantastic,” Aidan retorted. “Isn’t that obvious?”

  “Are you pissed my brother now has the church’s blessing to make your sister pregnant again?”

  Aidan shrugged. “As long as she’s happy.”

  The cocky bastard, who Aidan had come to like, gave him a lazy, sideways grin. “No offense, man, but us Fitzpatricks are known for making a woman happy in bed.”

  “And out of it?”

  “That’s a completely different story,” the blond guy grumbled. He straightened a little. “My date just left because she saw me give my number to another woman.”

  “Is that also part of the Fitzpatrick playbook?”

  “Nope,” Ryan replied with a dry laugh. “That was nobody’s fault but my own.”

  “At least you realize that.”

  “Oh yeah.” Ryan raised his glass to his lips. “Next time I’ll wait until my date has to go to the bathroom to give my number to someone else.”

  “Wise words,” Aidan croaked.

  “I do what I can.” The younger man nodded at him. “I can understand you preferring the company of Jack Daniels right now.”

  “Is that so?”

  “Of course.” Ryan pointed straight at the bridal table. “If I had to sit there and watch the newlywed couple feed each other cake, while next to me Kayleigh and Alec acted determined to be next, I’d run screaming for the bar. It’s unbearable, really.”

  Aidan acted indifferent, but he had to ask, “What do you mean, they seem determined to be next? Do you think Kayleigh and Alec have something going on?”

  “No idea, but I’d recommend Alec keep his sleazy hands to himself,” Ryan said, nodding in the direction of the table again. “I have a gun and I know how to use it, you know.”

  Aidan rolled his eyes, thinking of some cheap Western. “Doesn’t sound like you’re particularly fond of Alec,” he probed.

  The younger man raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Of course I like him. Alec’s cool.”

  “Yeah, but Kayleigh—”

  “Kayleigh is off the table,” Ryan cut him short.

  Aidan wrinkled his nose. “But why? Alec’s a cop, after all.”

  “So? Alec is okay, but he isn’t good enough for Kayleigh. Nobody is.” Ryan patted Aidan’s shoulder. “I’m going to check on the girl I gave my number to. Maybe the night will take a turn for the better.”

  Aidan doubted that could happen for his night. He desperately wanted to leave the party, but much to his growing frustration, Thorne asked him to dance. He sighed and did a few rounds across the dance floor with his sister before her cheerful expression made him ask, “What?”

  “Nothing,” she professed happily. “I’m just glad you’re here and that you still haven’t tried to beat up my husband.”

  He made a face. “Your husband is okay,” he admitted grudgingly.

  “Just okay?”

  “Hey,” he protested, “I don’t need to live with the guy.”

  Thorne giggled loudly and pressed her cheek to his shoulder. He stroked her hand, finally feeling somewhat glad to share this day with her, despite everything else.

  “Don’t get your hopes up yet, my dear,” Thorne said. “You’ll have to take part in a lot of family functions, and thus spend a lot of time with your new brother-in-law.”

  “Well, hallelujah.”

  Someone tapped him on his back, and he heard his new brother-in-law’s voice over Thorne’s giggling. “Swap you dance partners.”

  Once again, Aidan was sure God liked to see him suffer. Now he was obliged to let go of his sister, who slipped easily into her husband’s embrace, while Shane let go of Kayleigh. Before he could even think of some pretext to run, he was dancing with her to a slow song, holding her in his arms.

  “People are expected to be happy at a wedding,” she murmured hesitantly, searching his eyes.

  “And?”

  “You’re not smiling,” Kayleigh pointed out the obvious.

  Aidan drew his lips into a forced smile. “Better?”

  “Much better,” she confirmed with an amused smile of her own, which only served to make his knees weak.

  “You look very good in that suit, by the way,” she whispered after a while.

  “Are you trying to tell me my shopping trip was worth the while?”

  “Most definitely.”

  He licked his lips. “I surely don’t need to tell you how stunning you look, right?” he mumbled quickly.

  “Actually, it would be very nice to hear such a compliment from your mouth, Aidan.” Her dimples began to show.

  “You look great,” he said earnestly. “But you always do, Kayleigh.”

  To his utter astonishment, she suddenly confessed in a halting voice, “Aidan, I’m very sorry about what I said after that night. I wanted …” She trailed off.

  “What did you want?”

  Kayleigh sighed softly. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

  “You didn’t,” he assured her, not wanting to admit how deeply her rebuff had actually injured him.

  She uttered a sound that betrayed confusion. “Oh.”

  “Kayleigh,” he explained hoarsely, trying to sound especially understanding and nonchalant, “you were completely right. You and I shouldn’t have had sex. But it’s not a catastrophe. You’re going your way, and I’ll go mine. You didn’t hurt me. Don’t worry about that.”

  ***

  “Shouldn’t you be stealing the spotlight from the bride?”

  “Why?” Kayleigh had been standing alone at one side of the banquet hall, sipping a glass of champagne, when Alec came over and stood very close to her.

  “Well, you brought the hottest date.”

  She rolled her eyes and didn’t even deign to reply to that. She hadn’t paid a lot of attention to Alec, since her eyes were drawn to wherever Aidan happened to be. He appeared to be enduring the entire wedding stoically.

  He’d been a calm and taciturn best man, and after that, he’d stayed in the background, causing Kayleigh to have to crane her neck to check where he was and what he was doing. Right now, she was searching the dancing crowd for his tall figure once again. She got nervous when she couldn’t see him.

  And she was disappointed.

  When they’d danced and it had felt as if things could again be as they had been before their fight, he’d made it unmistakably clear that he didn’t have any feelings for her.

  Kayleigh told herself she was an idiot. She was wearing a dress that didn’t suit her, feeling despondent and unhappy at her brother’s amazing wedding reception, and pining for a man who’d told her she didn’t mean anything
to him only an hour before. She could hardly imagine a worse evening.

  “Somehow I feel cheated, Kayleigh. I thought we had a date.”

  “Alec,” she sighed with mounting irritation. “It was a stupid idea, okay? If you’re looking for someone to drag home with you tonight, you’re going to have to look elsewhere.”

  She felt a little bad for sounding this hostile and upset, but the way he kept trying to flirt and mention their pseudo date was getting on her nerves. She was riled by the fact that Alec, who’d never deigned to stare at her boobs or butt for the three years when she’d worn her normal clothes, would suddenly flirt and make compliments now that she was wearing a dress and makeup. But what riled her even more was the fact that she hadn’t realized much earlier that someone like Alec really wasn’t her type at all, nor was she his.

  She’d already vowed to herself that she would never be this stupid again.

  “If you told me who it is you want to make jealous, we could at least act as a team,” Alec said with surprising calm. “I’m just shooting in the dark. And we’re not very convincing when you keep looking at me like you’d rather scrub yourself with a wire brush than let me touch you, Kayleigh.”

  Her mouth popped open as she turned to stare at him, speechless. “What?”

  “I’m not stupid.” He tapped his forehead. “If Kayleigh Fitzpatrick asks me to be her date for a wedding, I can guess she wants to make someone jealous. It’s Thorne’s brother, right?”

  She didn’t need to answer that, for her cheeks burned with sudden unbidden heat. “I wasn’t trying to make anyone jealous!”

  “I hope so,” he snorted dryly, “because if that was your idea, I have to say you’re doing a really lousy job.”

  “Alec.” She squinted and put a hand to her head as if she were having a sudden migraine. To tell him she’d wanted to go out with him because she’d imagined herself in love with him for three whole years, and had only recently realized that had been a delusion, didn’t seem possible, or even wise. So she kept silent.

  Still, she was confused by his assumption. “Why do you think I asked you to be my date to make someone else jealous?”

  “Well, why else would you ask me? You told me you wanted to mess with your brothers, too.”

  “But …”

  He leaned even closer and whispered with disarming sincerity, “If a woman asks me out, she wants to use me either for sex or to make someone else mad. I didn’t think it was the former with you.”

  She shook her head in disbelief. “Is it possible that your self-esteem isn’t sky-high, Alec?”

  “My self-esteem is just fine, thank you,” he protested, not the least bit offended. He sounded rather proud. “Just because I enjoy dating instead of being tied down by just one woman doesn’t mean I have no self-esteem. I just don’t like relationships.”

  “Oh.” She gave him a critical look. “Heath says you like a date to treat you like her master while she behaves more like Jeannie, in I Dream of Jeannie.”

  Instead of taking offense, Alec threw his head back and laughed out loud. “I like that analogy.”

  “You do?” Kayleigh asked doubtfully.

  “Come on, Kayleigh.” He put an arm around her in a rather platonic manner and winked at her. “Don’t you like I Dream of Jeannie?”

  She immediately slipped out from under his arm. “Can’t you ever be serious?”

  “Why should I?”

  “Because I’m getting a headache,” she complained. “As a date, you lack a certain sensitivity.”

  “Ditto.” He laughed cheerfully. “So you wouldn’t mind if I went over to talk to the pretty blonde who keeps staring at me?”

  “Go ahead if you must,” Kayleigh said weakly, waving a dismissive hand. At least this way she would be rid of him, she told herself as he sauntered off. The evening might have been more enjoyable if he actually had contracted food poisoning yesterday.

  As soon as Alec disappeared, the proud groom came to stand next to her, watching the dancing couples for a while. He put an arm around her shoulder.

  “Having fun?”

  “Tons,” she replied with a forced smile. Her idea of fun was different, but she didn’t need to tell that to Shane right now.

  Her brother ignored her brusque tone. “Aidan already left,” he said casually.

  Since Kayleigh didn’t know what Shane expected from her she reacted with a shrug. “Yeah?”

  Her brother wouldn’t let it go. “I have no idea why he would leave so early.”

  “Maybe he was tired,” Kayleigh speculated. She wanted to get away from Shane, wanted to rush home and check on Aidan. But since she could hardly leave her brother’s wedding party this early, and since Aidan didn’t want her company anyway, she didn’t move, instead staring at the floor.

  “I don’t think he was tired. Thorne is positively puzzled by his departure, and I noticed he looked as if he had to go back to jail.”

  Kayleigh ground her teeth. “But he doesn’t have to go back to jail.”

  “She’s worried, you know. Do you have any idea what’s wrong with him?”

  “How should I know?” she shot back, struggling to keep calm. “He’s Thorne’s brother, not mine.”

  “True, but my guess is that he’s in a bad mood because you two had something going on, and now you showed up with Alec today.”

  Kayleigh’s shoulders sagged. “Shane …”

  “Come on, Kayleigh, it’s totally obvious.”

  She uttered a defeated groan. “I don’t even want to know how you know about any of it, but please do me a favor and back off, Shane.”

  He sounded uncharacteristically patient as he said, “Oh, I’d love to keep out of your love life, believe me, but I can see that you’re making a face at least as grumpy as my new brother-in-law. Both of you look rather unhappy.”

  “I’m the picture of health and happiness,” Kayleigh croaked.

  “Then why don’t you look the part?” Then he added earnestly, “You and Alec aren’t right for each other.”

  “Jesus!” she vented her frustration. “I know that! I’m not interested in your partner, Shane.”

  “Are you interested in Aidan then?”

  “I am,” she admitted bitterly, “but he isn’t interested in me.”

  Shane’s chuckle made her see red again.

  “And what’s so funny about that?”

  “Nothing.” He took a deep breath. “The only funny thing is Aidan told me something similar.”

  “Excuse me?” She blinked at him in confusion. “What did he tell you?” she asked with unrestrained curiosity.

  “Not much, but I assume the idiot thinks you’re not interested in him either.”

  “But that’s impossible.” Kayleigh frowned.

  “Really?”

  “Yes,” she snapped at her brother. “He rejected me!”

  “Oh, is that so?”

  “I’ll admit I behaved like an idiot, too,” she replied evasively, “but just when I wanted to clarify things, he told me we didn’t make a good match. Why is he telling you now that it’s my fault?”

  “Shouldn’t you be asking him that question?”

  “And how am I supposed to do that when he avoids me whenever he can?” Upset and desperate, she blinked up at her big brother. “Couldn’t you maybe talk to him?”

  “Christ, Kayleigh! Since when are you such a sissy? Trying to hide behind your big brother?”

  She swallowed against the lump in her throat and looked straight into his eyes. “I like him a lot, Shane,” she confessed in a choked voice. “He means a lot to me, but for some reason I can’t seem to tell him that. And I also don’t understand why he’s behaving so strangely all of a sudden.”

  Shane pressed a kiss to her temple. “I think it’s called heartache,” he said sagely, “and jealousy.”

  She shook her head. “Aidan isn’t suffering from heartache. And he’s not jealous, either. He’s told me in no uncertain terms that he do
esn’t want to be with me.”

  Shane groaned softly. “I think my brother-in-law thinks he isn’t good enough to be with you, Kayleigh.”

  She shrank back. “Excuse me? Where did you get that idea?”

  “He told me,” Shane replied simply. “Just last night he said you were a doctor, and he was only a convicted criminal. It was rather obvious he’s of the opinion that you deserve better.”

  Kayleigh stood motionless, feeling as if lightning had struck her. Her heart ached for Aidan, and she wanted to pull him into her arms and cast out those poisonous thoughts. “But that’s absolute bullshit,” she said softly, very calm now. “I don’t know a better man than him.”

  Shane made a face. “Maybe you ought to tell him that.”

  She took a shaky breath. “But …”

  “Are you scared?”

  Kayleigh smiled halfheartedly. “A little.”

  “Well, I won’t mind if you leave early, too.”

  Chapter 14

  “What the hell are you doing?”

  Aidan, startled by Kayleigh’s voice, almost fell from the ladder. He’d left his sister’s wedding reception two hours ago because he could no longer bear to look at Kayleigh, so alluring and enchanting, while all he could think about was how she was the one he wanted but couldn’t have. And now here she was again.

  He’d intended to finish the last of the promised repairs in peace. It had not been his plan to run into her again tonight, and definitely not to talk to her. He’d reached the limit of what he could bear.

  “I promised I would hang the lamps in here,” he explained flatly.

  “And you need to do that on your sister’s wedding day?” she asked incredulously.

  Aidan shrugged and, after a brief look at Kayleigh, turned back to mounting the lamp he was holding. “She’ll do just fine without me.”

  “That may be the case,” she insisted, and Aidan could hear her steps approach behind him, “but the wedding became unbearable for me after you left.”