Consumed By You

by Alicia Marino

  I feel rather shaken. I didn’t know coming back would stir up so many memories. Thankfully, Marilyn steps up next to me and puts an arm around me for support.

  “How are you doing, baby?” she asks, rubbing her palm up and down my arm tenderly.

  “I’m just glad that’s over with.”

  “Me too. I’m so sick of seeing cops.” She leads us to the bar. “Let me make you a drink, love. Then you can go home and rest. I don’t want to see you here for at least a couple of days.”

  I scowl. “I’m fine! I need to work, Marilyn.”

  I need to be able to think about something, anything but him.

  “No, you need to rest, Darcy. As your boss, I’m ordering you.”

  “Please,” I beg, looking to Kevin for help.

  He thankfully places a hand on his hips. “Mare, just let her come. She obviously is okay to be here.”

  “I don’t know how the hell you are.” She shakes her head but mercifully, she smiles. “Fine. But if you need to leave, just tell me. I don’t want you having a panic attack in front of everyone.”

  “I won’t,” I vow, knowing I’ve been through worse than this in my life.

  “Well, start tomorrow. I’m not budging on tonight.”

  “Okay.” I shrug on my jacket. She heads up to her office and I know she’s secretly upset she gave in. Marilyn always rises to a challenge.

  “Thank you, Kev.”

  He takes my hand. “You look like shit. Are you okay?”

  “Oh, yeah. I’m fine.”

  Bullshit.

  He doesn’t seem fooled. He raises his eyebrows and purses his full lips before he goes back to cleaning the glasses.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow? Are you working?” I ask, heading to the door. A couple almost runs into me as they enter the bar. I recognize them. Regulars. Rum and coke for the man, Shirley Temple for the woman.

  “I’ll be here. Hey, take it easy, you hear me?”

  I roll my eyes and walk out into the chilly autumn breeze.

  ***

  I make a quick stop at an AT&T store on my way home, knowing full well it’s time for some changes. I need a phone that isn’t from the dinosaur ages.

  “Welcome!” a young woman with bleached white hair exclaims with forced enthusiasm. I head straight for her, knowing I shouldn’t even bother looking at the different cell phones on display. I wouldn’t know a thing about them.

  “Hi, I’d like to buy a cell phone. A new one.”

  I place my Nokia on the glass counter and she raises her perfect eyebrows. “Yes, I can see you need one.”

  After nearly an hour of listening to her drone on about Androids and iPhones, I decide on a Galaxy. Thankfully, she explains the different functions of the phone to me before I leave, and I am feeling surprisingly accomplished. I’m in the real world now.

  ***

  From: Benjamin Scott

  To: Darcy Fontaine

  Subject: Been a few days

  I hope you are doing well. I wanted to make sure you didn’t need anything.

  Benjamin Scott

  CEO, Scott Industries

  My eyes are transfixed on the screen of my phone in silence, not understanding why he’s written me. Does he want to torture me?

  It’s nine o’clock at night. Why is he writing me? I leave the phone on the table and go throw my uneaten cereal into the garbage disposal.

  Should I write back? Is he expecting me to?

  I shouldn’t. I know already that this can only end badly for me. I should delete the message and forget him.

  Against the wishes of my brain, my heart sends movements into my shaking fingers and before I know it, I’m writing a reply.

  From: Darcy Fontaine

  To: Benjamin Scott

  Subject: RE: Been a few days

  I’m doing well.

  How are you?

  Good. Cool. Calm. Collected.

  Fuck yeah, Darcy! You can do this. Stand your ground.

  Not even three minutes later, my cell pings with a new message.

  From: Benjamin Scott

  To: Darcy Fontaine

  Subject: Been better

  Work is somewhat of a nightmare at the moment.

  I’d like very much to see you. Are you free tonight?

  Benjamin Scott

  CEO, Scott Industries

  What?

  Has he forgotten what went down between us yesterday?

  From: Darcy Fontaine

  To: Benjamin Scott

  Subject: Confused

  I don’t think it’s a good idea that we see each other.

  ~

  From: Benjamin Scott

  To: Darcy Fontaine

  Subject:

  I hated the way we left things.

  Despite what you may believe, Darcy, I do care for you. I don’t want to lose you. Even if it means just being friends.

  Benjamin Scott

  CEO, Scott Industries

  ~

  From: Darcy Fontaine

  To: Benjamin Scott

  Subject: I’m sorry

  I can’t.

  I hope work gets better for you. I’ll always hope the best for you.

  Goodbye.

  I wait for an answer from him despite my message of farewell, knowing one won’t come. The horrible sinking in my stomach aches more and more as the time ticks by. I have to forget about him.

  I can’t do this to myself anymore.

  ***

  When I step into the bar, Kevin is already behind the counter.

  I wave, and he points to the phone, signaling me to come over. Confused, I set my bag down and head over to him.

  He presses the phone to his chest. “It’s him.”

  My eyes go as wide as saucers.

  “Yeah, uh, let me see if she’s here,” Kevin says, pressing the hold button.

  “Why is he calling here?” I ask, then glance down at my cell phone. I swipe the screen, seeing two missed calls from him.

  Damn it. My phone was on silent.

  “He didn’t say. Just said he needed to speak with you.” He hands me the phone and laughs when I growl.

  “Hello, Benjamin.”

  “Darcy. Why haven’t you answered your phone?”

  My brow arches at the barely concealed anxiety in his voice. “I got a new one. I have to figure out how to take it off silent.”

  “Did you change your number again?” he says incredulously, a hint of anger in his tone.

  “No, I didn’t, Benjamin. What do you want? Why are you calling my job?”

  “Why are you even at your job?”

  “I have to work.”

  “Not this soon. I can’t believe your boss would let you come in so soon after what happened.”

  “She didn’t want me to. I begged her.”

  “Why?”

  I roll my eyes. “I told you. I have to work!”

  “This is ridiculous. You need rest. Let me speak with her,” he demands, and I glower at the phone.

  “Who do you think you are? My keeper? If I want to work, Benjamin, then I’m going to damn well work! Now, is that all you wanted?”

  “Yes!”

  “All right.” I hang up.

  Breathe, Darcy. Breathe.

  “Wow.” Kevin whistles, grinning like a madman.

  “What? I think I handled him pretty well.” I feel dizzy from anger.

  “You did. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you mad before. He sounds like he has it pretty bad.”

  “He doesn’t. I told you what happened.”

  “Yeah, you did. But he did just call into your job to holler at your boss for taking you back before you were ready. I mean, that sounds like he cares, does it not?”

  I’m scowling at him when the phone rings again. It’s Benjamin’s number.

  Kevin’s cackle is wicked as he leaves for the break room.

  I pick up the phone. “Benjamin, please stop.”

  “I’m sorry. I called
for a reason.”

  “What is it?” I whisper, weak from hearing his voice.

  “There’s a charity gala for The American Cancer Society this Friday. I was wondering if you’d accompany me.”

  I sit in silence for a moment, unsure if I heard him right.

  “There’s a woman that will be there. Cindy Dante. She owns a publishing company. I’ve known her forever. I spoke to her about you…she wants to meet you.”

  I’m speechless.

  “Are you still there?” The anxiousness in his voice melts my frozen heart.

  “Why did you tell her about me?”

  “She wants to meet you to set up an interview, if she likes you, that is.”

  “I-I don’t know what to say, Benjamin,” I stutter, clutching the phone tightly.

  “Say you’ll go with me.”

  “Friday is in two days.”

  “I can have Dimitri take you shopping for a gown tomorrow.”

  Dimitri? Gown? What is happening? Not ten minutes ago, I had sworn off this man.

  “I can’t do that. I can get one on my own.”

  “Then, let me send you some money.”

  “No, I—”

  “Look, you’re doing me a favor. I don’t want you to spend a dime on anything. Please, just let me do this.”

  “Why do you care so much about this?”

  “Darcy, you’re smart, too smart to be working in a bar.”

  “I can’t…” I stop myself, afraid of how to word my next sentence. “I can only go as your friend, Benjamin.”

  “I know that. I haven’t forgotten our conversations.” There’s a hint of aggravation in his tone at that, and I wonder how mad he was last night when I told him goodbye.

  “Okay, then.”

  “You’ll go?”

  “I’ll go.”

  ***

  “I’m downstairs, Miss,” Dimitri says when I answer my phone the next day.

  I shake my head at Benjamin’s audacity and tell him I’ll be down.

  I hastily brush through my wet, knotted hair and pull on a black skirt and white blouse to match. I stub my toe looking for my black flats. Where the hell are they? I look at the clock; it’s been five minutes since his call.

  I have to give up on the search and just slip my feet into some sandals. Finally, I pull open my door and sprint down the steps. Dimitri’s window is open and he smiles when he sees me.

  “Hi, Dimitri. I’m so sorry I took so…” My words slowly die out when the back door of the car opens.

  He didn’t.

  I stare wide-eyed at the ridiculously smug-looking man holding the door open for me.

  “What are you doing here?” I say, not moving a muscle.

  Benjamin grins. “I had an opening in my schedule. I figured I’d come with you.”

  “Dress shopping? You want to go dress shopping?”

  “I’ve never done it before, but it’s probably not too bad.”

  Oh, he’ll see how bad it is.

  I scowl at Dimitri. “You betrayed me.”

  A secretive smile forms on his face. “I was just following orders.”

  “Yes, he was.” Benjamin gestures to the open door. “Can you get in?”

  ***

  “How is it coming?” Benjamin asks from outside the spacious dressing room.

  I grin to myself. “Already regretting it, are you?”

  “No, it’s not too bad,” he mutters. His phone rings for the fiftieth time and he answers shortly, then reprimands someone.

  “Wait, what? Tiffany, those needed to be done yesterday. What am I paying you to do? Stand around?”

  Damn. I pray silently for that poor person. Angry Benjamin sucks.

  “Either get them done and sent out before you leave today, Miss Gibson, or find other means of employment.”

  I’ve finished dressing but frankly, I don’t want to leave the safe confines of my little room. I open the curtain and step out, knowing already I don’t like this one. It’s red and tight, but it’s too short. He’s sitting on the couch, leaned back, and he smiles.

  “What do you think?” I ask.

  “It’s pretty. I don’t know if it’s formal enough, though.”

  “I agree.”

  “That’s a first.” He smirks, running his fingers along his defined, stubbled jaw. I follow his mindless movements, completely entranced.

  “Who was that on the phone?” I ask, and he rolls his eyes.

  “My assistant.” He raises a brow. “What?”

  “Nothing. I’m just glad I never got on your bad side there.” There’s a loud voice in my head that forces me to finish my sentence. “At least other than that time—”

  “You were a far better assistant than she is.”

  I try to conceal my delight by rolling my eyes exasperatedly at him.

  “Why do you still have her, then?” I head back into the dressing room. There are three dresses left. I’m hoping with all my might that one of them works, because I honestly hate shopping.

  “It’s a hassle to find a replacement, but I’m seriously considering it now.”

  “What did she do wrong?” I choose a silk gown the color of Benjamin’s eyes and hold it up to the mirror. I take it off the hanger and search for the best way to put it on. Who knew dresses were so complicated?

  “The company, Lifegrowth, is primarily mine. I own ninety percent of the shares. We’re having trouble getting the owner to sell the rest to us. He’s a ball-buster. You see, without the rest of the shares…” He laughs. “Do you even want to hear about this?”

  “Of course I do.” I stick my head out and smile widely. I could listen to him speak day and night.

  Looking strangely pleased, he continues on with his story.

  I get my arms through the crisscrossed straps and grin in triumph. Finally. The dress falls into place and I stare at it in delight. It’s perfect. I’ve never seen an article of clothing so beautiful. It’s so plain and simple, yet elegant. I move my body and the bottom trails behind me.

  “She needed to get that done today, and I won’t bore you with any more of it.” I can hear him pacing outside, and part of me wonders if he’s ever talked about his work with anyone. The thought makes me sadder than I expected.

  “You’re not boring me, Benjamin. I like to hear about your work.”

  There’s a slight pause. “Really?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  He doesn’t answer so I figure that it’s time I show it to him. I hope he likes it.

  I push the curtain aside and lace my fingers together in front of my body, shrugging awkwardly. His eyes widen and I can swear he falls back a step.

  Yes! I love this reaction.

  “Darcy, wow,” he breathes. “That’s the one.”

  “Yeah?” I ask nervously. My heart is beating wildly as his eyes trail down the material.

  He moves forward then and impulsively, I step back a step. He doesn’t notice, or at least he doesn’t show he does when he grabs my hands and moves them away from my body. “That’s better. You shouldn’t hide your body, Darcy.”

  He’s reprimanding me but this time, I don’t mind it.

  How can I when he’s looking at me this way?

  ***

  “So how are we doing this?” I ask. We’re sitting in the limo on the way back to my apartment. Benjamin wouldn’t let me see how much the dress cost, but by the way the woman gushed over him, I’m guessing he spent a pretty penny.

  “Doing what?”

  “Am I meeting you there?”

  “Do you think I’d let you meet me there?” he quips, his expression amused.

  “Do you think you’d have a choice if I wanted to?” I counter, and he grins wider.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever met a more difficult woman.”

  “Hey, you’re no picnic yourself.” I laugh. “What time does it start?”

  “I’ll pick you up at six.”

  I nod in agreement, staring out at a l
arge group of friends eating at a bistro. “Thank you, by the way. For the dress and for coming with me.”

  “You didn’t sound too pleased at first.”

  “I wasn’t,” I reply truthfully. “I don’t seem to be able to stay away from you.”

  “Me either,” he murmurs, looking down at his hands.

  Oh, how I’d love to grab those hands. Damn it. Will I ever stop thinking this way?

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  “I can’t believe this shit!” Kevin howls, a makeup brush in his hand.

  “What?”

  “You don’t even need concealer! Your face is flawless. You don’t even need to wear makeup.”

  “I like wearing it.” I close my eyes so he can apply it.

  After hearing about the huge event I’m going to with Mr. Benjamin Scott tonight, he insisted on coming over and doing my makeup.

  “So, do you think he’ll try to get with you?”

  “Get with me?”

  “Sleep with you? Hook up? Fuck you into oblivion?” He laughs when I stare at him in disbelief.

  “No, I don’t! You have the worst mouth, honestly!”

  He kisses my hair chastely. “You love it. Now hand me the lipstick. The dark red one.”

  I oblige him and wait while he applies it to my lips.

  “Up,” he commands, gesturing for me to stand, and I do as he says. He waits while I carefully put the dress on.

  “Done.”

  He spins around, clapping his hands together. “You are slaying this look! I have to take a picture of this! I have to!” he shouts and I blanch.

  “No, please. I hate having my picture taken.”

  My heart is beating rapidly in my chest.

  “Just one! Come on! You’re my masterpiece right now!”

  “No.” I shake my head and he stops smiling and looks at me, suddenly worried.

  “You’re so pale. What’s wrong? Does having your picture taken freak you out that much?”

  “Yes,” I lie. “I hate it.”

  “Oh, okay. We don’t have to, then.” He puts his phone back in his pocket and I can breathe again. “Have you always been like that?”