Survival Instinct

by Declan Conner

  “Yeah, I suppose I do. Although I don’t suppose you’ll get much sense out of me.”

  “If you want me to leave you alone, I can go back to the bar?”

  “No, please stay, I owe you.”

  “How come your nerves got the better of you? Is that why you drank too much?”

  “To be honest, I don’t usually drink, it’s not nerves. I just don’t think I am ready for dating yet.”

  “Are you still grieving?”

  “No, it’s not that; I only finalized my divorce the other week. To be honest, I’ve been so wrapped up in the divorce; I haven’t had a chance to discover who I am yet.”

  “That’s normal, it takes time, but at least you’re getting out and about. What did you think about tonight?”

  “I think if I’d stayed sober, I would have had a great night. What little of it I had, I enjoyed. At least it helped overcome my fears.”

  “Fears, what would they be?”

  “Talking to women. The only one I feel comfortable with is Mary, my secretary.”

  “Ah, Mary, and does she happen to be single?”

  “Yeah, but she’s off men.”

  “Don’t you feel comfortable talking to me?”

  “I suppose so. Maybe all this singles’ culture has finally cured me.”

  “I don’t think it’s that, Jamie. I think it’s more likely because you’ve ducked out and the pressure’s off trying to get a date.”

  “That’s it,” said Jamie laughing.

  “Tell me more about Mary?”

  Jamie unburdened all there was to know, and Susan sat listening.

  “Sounds to me you need your heads banging together. Are you hungry, Jamie?”

  “Yeah, funnily enough, I am. Why?”

  “There’s a restaurant here, let’s go get something to eat. I think I’ve had enough for one night. Don’t worry it’s not a date, just a meal and a chat. No pressure to impress.”

  “Fine, but I’ll need to tell Bill.”

  “I’ll see to that, wait here.”

  They went for dinner and the conversation flowed as they shared their histories. Susan left him alone to go to the restroom. Jamie’s curiosity had the better of him and he unfolded her itinerary form. All the boxes were ticked ‘No’, but at the side of his name, she’d written ‘Hmm’, with a doodle of a heart. Jamie smiled and put it back. Finishing their meal, Jamie offered to pay the bill, but she insisted on paying her share and asked the waiter for a pen. She wrote her name and number on a napkin and handed it to Jamie.

  “Listen, if you ever do find your inner self, you can always telephone me. No pressure. That’s unless you and Mary get it together?”

  Bill arrived at the table standing behind Susan and bending his elbow with his fist clenched in a rude gesture.

  “How are the two love birds?”

  “We’re fine, I’m just going home now, no need for you to panic Bill. You still have a buddy.”

  “Not when I get my emails tomorrow. Tell me, you ticked ‘Yes’ next to my name, right?”

  “You wish. Actually it was a definite ‘No’,” she said and turning to Jamie. She gave him a friendly kiss on the cheek and wished him good luck, turned and left.

  “You sly old fox, you pulled that one out of the bag,” said Bill.

  “Actually, she turned an extraordinary night into a very pleasant evening,” he said waving the napkin with her phone number in front of his nose. He felt pleased at his success.

  “There I am thinking you’re a novice and you go and outdo me. When are you going to phone her?”

  “I’m not sure. I’ll think about it. How did your night progress?”

  “So so, I took your advice and picked nine, but your Susan’s just knocked that down to eight.”

  “That’s great then. Let’s just see what emails you get. Fancy a coffee, Bill, it’s only ten thirty?”

  “Yeah, there’s nothing much else to do. Do you think you’ll see Susan again?”

  “I don’t know… she seemed interested. Maybe she’s pointed me in the right direction.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “If I tell you something, will you keep it a secret?”

  “Sure. Call me Mr. Discreet. You can shoot me if I even hint to anyone.”

  Jamie took a deep breath and paused, reluctant to carry on, but determined to finish what he’d started.

  “The thing is, all the time I knew June, she used to flirt. I already had a mistrust of women from my upbringing, but that’s another story. There was this one guy, Richard, ‘Tricky Dickey’, I called him. She was always flirting with him and I was sure she was seeing him behind my back. Anyway, I became paranoid and used to get seriously jealous.”

  “Ha, we’ve all been there, bud.”

  “The long and the short of it Bill is that when we were out and other girls used to come on to me, I used to act frigid, you know sort of disinterested. I thought somehow, June would learn by my example. We had a bit of a bust up and sure enough, she went out with Tricky.”

  “Yeah, that’s a lesson I learned, I always say, ‘If you think it, it’s true’. You know, like your instincts are always correct.”

  “I wish I’d thought that. After I joined the army, we got back together and married. I was kind of hoping when we got hitched, all that nonsense would stop. The army sent me to Afghanistan. I was about twelve months into my tour when I received a letter from my sister.”

  “What’s your sister got to do with it?”

  “Everything. My sister and I never got on, so it was a sort of surprise to get a letter. Anyway, she said she’d heard June was getting a reputation for seeing other guys, including one called Richard.”

  “Tricky, the scum bag. How come you’re marriage lasted as long as it did? That would have finished it for me.”

  “Naivety. The thing is, when you’re on the other side of the world there’s nothing you can do, only torture your mind, and I did plenty of that. I spoke to June on the Internet and she knew all about the letter and convinced me it was a pack of lies. She said my sister was trying to get back at me for not inviting her to the wedding.”

  “So you just accepted it? Man that must’ve hurt.”

  “You can say that again! When I arrived back home, the first thing I did was kick the living daylights out of Tricky. He denied it, but I knew deep down it was true.”

  “Good for you, Jamie.”

  “I should have ended it there and then before we had a family. But my head was screwed up from Afghanistan, and the episode just sort of passed.”

  “What was it that screwed your head up?”

  “That’s for another day; I need to get this off my chest first. Let me carry on.”

  “Okay, I’ll try.”

  “I became so paranoid about other men, I started to look through her purse and check the numbers she’d been calling from the telephone bill.

  I was over the top with paranoia. The thing is, the phone would ring and when I answered, there was never anyone there. I thought I was losing it. She would go out with her sister on a Friday night and I would sit at home, no television, the lights out and just brood for hours. I used to imagine her dancing and laughing with other men until my brain exploded. When she arrived home, all hell would break loose and we would argue like mad when I asked questions.”

  “You obviously needed therapy.... Wait a minute; I had that thing with the phone calls when my wife was having her affair with her personal trainer. Perhaps it wasn’t paranoia, just instinct. Did you see a shrink?”

  “No, the only shrink I ever saw was when I came back from my mission, but the interview only lasted five minutes. I think he was more interested in getting me back on active duty.”

  “I still don’t know why you didn’t leave?”

  “Because I thought it was me who had the problem. June convinced me it was all in my mind, and I imagined it was easier to accept she was right than do something about it. I thought if we had kid
s, maybe she wouldn’t go out anymore. When we went out together, I even stopped talking to women who were just trying to have ordinary conversation, you know just to let her see I wasn’t trying to pull anyone and hoping she’d act the same way.”

  “So that’s why you find it difficult to talk to women? Man that’s weird.”

  “Yeah, I guess so, the trouble was when we had kids it was great, we did all the family stuff and everything was fine except for a few incidents. But then when the kids were a little older she kept going for weekends to her sister’s. She kept telling me her sister was sick so I didn’t think it was a problem.”

  “Uh oh, Mr. Gullible. I can see what’s coming.”

  “I wish I would have had your foresight at the time. Ellie got sick one weekend and I needed to telephone June at her sister’s. Her husband answered and said he’d shout for his wife who was gardening.”

  “That doesn’t sound like sick to me?”

  “You’re right there. I could tell in her sister’s voice that she was trying to hide something. It took June four hours to call me back with some lame excuse, and after that, her visits stopped.”

  “So where does all this leave you now, JJ? In the end she went off with someone but where do you go from here?”

  “I suppose it leaves me up the creek without a paddle, if you take the paddle to mean the ability to chat to women. Sort of puts me at a disadvantage. Where do I go from here? Maybe Susan had the answer?”

  “Why, did she offer to take you to bed and sort you out?” said Bill, winking.

  “No, nothing like that, but she made me realize a few things I need to put right.”

  “Oh, and what would that be?”

  “Ha, I think I’ve told you enough for one evening. Come on, let’s make for home.”

  “Awe, come on you can’t leave it at that. It’s like a woman taking a man to a climax and then pushing him off.”

  “Okay... Look, what I think I need to do is keep going out to the singles’ nights, but not to pull a woman. Just need to make friends. That way the pressure’s off and I can gradually gain my confidence.”

  “Why didn’t you say that before? I can go along with that; it means I can always pick the good looking one,” he said patting Jamie on the back and laughing as they headed for the taxi. After dropping Bill off, Jamie headed home, relieved that he had found a friend he could confide in and still feeling quite tipsy. Paying the driver, Jamie stumbled out of the car and noticed someone rolling out from under his car.

  “Hey, what do you think you’re doing?”

  “Sorry, just took some change out of my pocket and a coin rolled down the drive under your car,” he said and showing him a coin in his hand. Then he hurried off down the street.

  Jamie was suspicious, but too inebriated to give chase and entered his house to prepare for bed.

  Contents

  Jamie´s nearly date

  Detective Hogan was at his wits end. The mayor had put the hammer down to come up with answers on the serial killer case. Rumors spread like wildfire. Way over budget at his precinct, all leave cancelled, the overtime bill was clocking up at an alarming rate. Interviewing all the known, convicted perverts, they followed every lead but so far, they didn’t have a suspect.

  The case was putting a strain on his marriage too, with the hours he was working, even sleeping in the office more than once. He didn’t mind the paycheck, but it was times like these he wished he were back on traffic duty. He only had the weekend before the FBI would send an agent to take over, and he couldn’t stomach the thought. Flicking his intercom switch, he called his secretary.

  “Marge, give me a minute will you, in my office? And bring your note book.”

  Marge sat down and waited as Hogan searched his mind for some inspiration.

  “Okay here goes: contact city records and get me the computer data on everyone that’s filed for separation in the last twelve months, no, make it eighteen. Then get the office staff to put all the male details through records. I want it finished by eight Monday morning, even if you have to work all weekend. Get a message out to all the detectives. I want a meeting here at nine o’clock sharp, Monday morning. In between time, call the news channels, radio and newspapers and issue a statement: we want all single males to volunteer DNA samples. That’ll be all, Marge. Now, let’s see if we can nail this son of a bitch?”

  “Right away, sir, I’m on it. . .all males?” she had a look of dismay.

  “Oh, I almost forgot, have someone go to the apartment of the last victim and check out her computer for emails.”

  Detective Hogan swiveled around in his chair, hoping this latest initiative would draw a result, and the killer would take this weekend off. Wading through the files on the case, he heard his telephone ring. Marge put a call through from the local radio station who called him for a live interview after she had issued them his statement.

  ***

  Jamie joined the kids for breakfast feeling refreshed after his pleasant evening at the speed-dating event. The drinks he consumed acted like a sedative, giving him a good night's sleep. Turning on the radio to catch the morning traffic news, he listened to the telephone interview with Chief Hogan.

  “Are you going to go and give a DNA sample, dad?” asked Steve as he walked into the kitchen.

  “I don’t see why not. It’s just finding the time.”

  “Well, it won’t do any harm if it helps catch the bastard. I’ll call at the precinct on Monday after work,” said Steve.

  “Yeah, I might join you; it all depends on how busy I am.”

  “How was it last night, speed dating?”

  “Fine, it was different. I didn’t manage to finish the process. I had too much to drink.”

  “Did you tick any boxes?” asked Ellie.

  “Not exactly, but someone marked my card.”

  “Come on, dad, what does that mean? You’re starting to sound like Uncle Bill.”

  Jamie pulled the napkin out of his pocket and passed it to Ellie.

  “Look at this.”

  “Susan? Don’t tell me you picked up a woman?”

  “In a manner of speaking, we finished the speed dating early and shared a meal in the restaurant.”

  “Wow! Quick mover! I bet that put Uncle Bill’s nose out of joint?”

  “Probably. He ticked her ‘Yes’ box but she put him as a ‘No’.”

  “So, are you seeing her again?” asked Ellie.

  “Maybe. I’ll let you know when the time comes.”

  He reached over for the napkin and put it in his pocket. He asked them what they were doing that evening, but it was a silly question. Friday night they were always out on the town. After his eventful week, Jamie was pleased he could spend some time home alone. The interrogation over with and breakfast finished, he donned his jacket setting off for the office.

  Arriving at work, everyone was friendly, except Mary who seemed unusually preoccupied. Worse than that, he sensed a bad atmosphere between them, a new experience for Jamie. He had a quiet word with Ben about his interest in Betty, but Ben was more interested in Jamie’s night speed dating and rolled about with laughter when he told him he ticked all the boxes ‘No’ and finished at half time, drunk.

  He neglected to tell him about Susan, preferring to keep that private. Calling Mary to one side, he asked if she had spoken to Betty.

  “Yes,” she replied tersely.

  Jamie didn’t want to ask what the problem was. Lunchtime approached and he headed for the Gym. He found the exercise hard work, not realizing just how out of condition he was. Returning to the office Mary was suddenly all smiles. Whatever was gnawing at her had subsided as she placed a coffee on his desk.

  “Enjoy your evening did you, JJ?” Not bothering to wait for a reply, she turned to sit back at her desk and carried on working.

  What was all that about? he wondered. He reviewed the costing for the Martin’s Brewery account and wondering if he would ever understand the mysterious ways o
f women.

  “I’ve been thinking,” said Mary. “What do you think about a team building weekend?”

  “Building what?”

  “Oh funny. You know white-water rafting or a paint-ball weekend. Something for the staff to get together. I received some literature this morning.”

  “Why would we want to do that?”

  “The itinerary’s targeted at team building, management skills and delegation, you know, all that kind of stuff. Providing Cuthbert will pay for it, that is.”

  “Are you saying my management skills are crap?”

  “No, not at all. But it’ll give you a chance to see how your staff can cope with situations under stress.”

  Jamie thought it was a great idea, but he didn’t want to commit. Since he had won the Martin’s account, Cuthbert would be a pushover, but he wouldn’t want to approach him before the contract was signed.

  “Pass the brochure here, let’s have a look,” said Jamie.

  Opening the brochure, there was a letter of introduction addressed to Mary. “Further to your enquiry, please find enclosed our brochure.”

  What’s she up to? This isn’t unsolicited. She asked for it.

  “Good idea, Mary, I’m up for it. What about you?”

  “I wouldn’t miss the chance; it would be fun.”

  “Okay, if we get the Martin’s account signed, I’m sure Cuthbert won’t object,” he said passing the brochure back. He went to the restroom and bumped into Ben.

  “What’s eating Mary this morning, Ben?”

  “Beats me. Maybe she was nervous about having a talk with Betty, on the same lines you talked to me. Once she had a chat with Betty and I told her about your night out, she seemed to snap out of it.”

  “You and Betty ready for the pitch to Martin’s next week? If we get the account signed, I’m going to try and arrange a weekend away for us all on a white-water rafting weekend.”

  “Yeah, Mary said the Martin’s account should be a walk in the park. I’ve never seen a package come together so well.”