Survival Instinct

by Declan Conner

  “Great, keep up the good work,” said Jamie. After a quick shake and pulling up his zipper, Jamie returned to the office.

  “What are you up to this weekend?” asked Mary.

  “Tonight? I intend to bask in my own company. The kids are out and it should be the first night without Bill for ages. Still you never know. Tomorrow I go shopping with Ellie and Bill then out for a drink with Bill. Sunday, Bill’s invited the family to his log cabin to go fishing. What about you?”

  “Same as you tonight. Tomorrow I visit my son and his wife, then on Sunday it’s my granddaughter's christening.”

  “Sounds good,” said Jamie, wondering if he should ask her out as neither of them were doing anything. He wondered why he neglected to tell her Saturday was a singles’ Hawaiian night dance, but then he already knew.

  ***

  Mary looked at her computer screen to check a report she had been compiling. When she looked at the last words on the report, she gasped in shock. ‘Ask me out tonight Jamie, please just this once,’ she had typed and quickly deleted.

  ***

  There was a blank expression on Mary’s face. “Mary, are you okay?” Jamie could see her staring at her computer holding her hands on the side of her face with a strange look. Then she burst into tears and ran to the Ladies. “Betty, go and see if Mary’s okay will you?” said Jamie concerned.

  ***

  By the time Betty arrived, Mary was composed.

  “Mary are you okay, do you feel ill?”

  “No, I feel fine.”

  “You don’t look fine. What is it, Jamie? You know all the office is aware there’s chemistry there.”

  “What do you mean. . .aware?”

  “Come on, everyone can see the way you look at each other.”

  “That obvious, is it?” she said, losing it again.

  “I know you may think I’m young and a bit wet behind the ears but these days there’s nothing wrong in a woman asking out a man.”

  “No, I couldn’t. It’s got to come from him. I’ve known him for over twenty years; he has to be ready.”

  “Okay, but don’t come crying to us when he meets someone from the singles’ club. Are you okay now to go back to the office?”

  “Yeah, I’ll be fine. Come on let’s get back to work and not a word.”

  Everyone tried to avert their eyes, as she walked back to her desk to avoid her any embarrassment.

  “Are you all right now, Mary?” asked Jamie.

  “Yeah, it was just a woman thing, I’m fine.”

  “Look, we finish work in an hour. We could wrap it up now and go for a coffee if you like?”

  “No, honestly I am okay,” she replied.

  Betty glared at her and picking up some papers from her desk.

  “Go on then, say you’ll go for a coffee,” she whispered.

  “No, that’s okay, Betty. I have a copy, thank you.”

  Betty shrugged her shoulders and went back to her desk.

  Mary shook her head. I wonder why I said no, she thought. I hope he asks me again. The office emptied as they all made their way to the elevator and squeezed in. Mary and Jamie went in first and squashed together at the back. Mary felt comfort from the warm, physical contact. Neither of them tried to separate as she felt an energy pass through her body. As they stepped out, Jamie put his hand on her shoulder.

  “Are you sure you don’t want a coffee, Mary?”

  “Go on then, but only for an hour. I’ve the cat to see to,” said Mary, thanking God he came through.

  “Follow me to the mall and try not to lose me,” said Jamie.

  ***

  On the drive to the mall, Jamie wondered if the time was right to ask her out. Mary followed him, and he could see her in the mirror putting on lipstick. She almost crashed into him as he stopped at a red light.

  Walking from the parking deck neither spoke, but Jamie felt a strange tension between them. He was relieved when they reached the coffee bar and sat down with their coffee.

  He was first to break the silence.

  “I was wondering,” said Jamie then he paused.

  “Yes?”-asked Mary, with a look of eager anticipation.

  I was wondering if you would like to go to dinner this evening. I know a nice restaurant, buzzed around in Jamie’s mind, but his mouth wouldn’t cooperate. “I was wondering what made you think of the activity weekend?” he asked instead.

  “I’m starting to wonder,” she replied.

  Jamie reverted to his props, sipping his coffee and nibbling at his cream doughnut. He was petrified to ask her out. What if she says no?

  “Do you ever go to the movies?” asked Jamie with a plan in mind.

  “No, why?”

  That’s that plan scuppered. Maybe she doesn’t like the cinema. Damn, there I go, using my Do’s again. He took more sips.

  “It’s not easy to go to the movies alone. It’s a little like a woman walking into a bar,” she said.

  “I never thought of it like that, but I suppose you’re right. What sort of films do you prefer?”

  “Anything but horror films or films with gratuitous violence. I love suspense or a good romantic comedy. What about you?”

  “War films mostly, plenty of blood and guts,” said Jamie, laughing at his own joke. “Sorry, I don’t mind anything as long as it has a good story. If you don’t like to go on your own and if ever there’s a film you want to see that you don’t want to wait for it to come around on cable, I don’t mind accompanying you?”

  She sighed with a strange look.

  “How sweet, Jamie, that’s gentlemanly.”

  Gentlemanly? Sweet? For Christ’s sake, I’ve just offered to take you out! Three minutes I got at the speed-dating venue. An hour with Mary and I’m still no further along.

  “Is that a yes then?” said Jamie in desperation.

  “Is what a yes? I didn’t hear you ask anything.”

  “Okay then, would you care to come to the pictures with me one evening?”

  “That’s better, yes, of course, I’d love to,” she answered.

  “Good heavens, look at the time. I need to get home to Gertrude,” said Mary.

  “Gertrude?” asked Jamie, laughing.

  “Yeah, Gertrude, that’s the name of my cat. What’s so funny?”

  “Oh nothing, just a private joke I shared with Bill. I’ll tell you when you have more time,” he said as they made their way to the parking deck. Reaching the point where they would separate, he hesitated.

  “Right then, have a nice weekend,” said Jamie dying to take her into his arms.

  “Yes, and you, see you Monday,” she said turning on her heels.

  ***

  Mary arrived home and called for her cat.

  “Come on, Gertrude, where are you? It’s time for your evening meal,” she said opening a can of cat food as Gertrude rubbed against her legs, purring. Mary picked her up and held her in her arms.

  “Guess what? Jamie nearly, well almost, asked me out tonight. He promised to take me to the movies one day. How’s that for a milestone?” she said kissing the cat, then shaking her for Gertrude to mimic her excitement. She put the cat down to enjoy her dinner. Pouring a glass of wine, she took some photographs from a drawer and sat down to relax. She pressed PLAY on her CD player and looked through her photographs. They were the photographs from years earlier when she and Jamie had taken on the mission to be models for the brochure. There were other pictures of them at work functions and Christmas office parties.

  The years had been kind to Mary. At forty- two, she was still attractive, but felt time slipping by. The photographs were proof enough. Wow, how young I looked. All those years wasted. Sure, the kids had kept her sane, but they had flown the nest and her loneliness in the evenings consumed her until she could escape to her day in the office to be close to Jamie. Looking at her favorite picture, she was laughing and Jamie was eyeing her adoringly. She kissed his image and held the photograph to her chest. Her eyes
closed when she fell asleep as Gertrude joined her and curled up on her lap.

  ***

  Jamie walked through his front door to the smell of cooking.

  “Smells good, what are we having to eat, Ellie?”

  “Your favorite meal, lasagna. How come you’re so late?”

  “I just stopped off for a coffee with Mary at the mall.”

  There was silence and then Ellie popped her head around the kitchen door.

  “Mary? Did I hear you say, Mary?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay, out with it. She visits you at home when you’re sick. Then you take her for coffee, let’s see, that’s three times this week. Is there something you’re not telling me?”

  “No, I mean, yes. Oh, okay then, you might as well know. I’ve asked her out on a date to the cinema.”

  “That’s great, dad, when?”

  “I didn’t say. It was more of a tester to see how the land lies. She said she’d love to.”

  “Dad, you’re hopeless! That’s a bit like saying, ‘Do you want some candy?’ and then when they say ‘Yes’ and you’ve created a craving, you say, ‘Fine, I’ll get you some one day.’ Dad, what am I going to do with you? I think you need more than dancing lessons.”

  “Hmm, I suppose, if you put it like that, it does sound a little ridiculous. But Mary lacks confidence with men, so I have to be careful.” He was all too well aware it was he who lacked the confidence.

  “Careful. For God sakes dad, it’s simple! She either fancies you or she doesn’t. Confidence doesn’t come into it. She’ll soon overcome her confidence problem if she likes you. Just go for it.”

  Jamie didn’t have the heart to tell her it was he who lacked the confidence.

  “Yeah, maybe your right. Come on, get the food out, I’m starving.”

  With the meal finished, the kids changed and went out to do whatever kids did on a Friday night. Jamie settled down to relax for the evening. The telephone rang. It was Bill.

  “Hi, JJ. Just thought I’d make you jealous. I have a date tonight.”

  “Who’s the lucky girl?”

  “Gina.”

  “I thought you crossed her off your list.”

  “I did, but then I had second thoughts.”

  “How many emails did you get?”

  “Only four. I don’t understand it. They were all so friendly. Still, it’ll keep me busy for a while. Gotta go; see you tomorrow for our shopping trip. I’ll drop by at lunchtime.”

  “Sure, see you then.”

  Jamie put the phone down shaking his head. The guy’s incorrigible, he thought. Age clearly isn’t a factor.

  Jamie’s mind kept going over what Ellie had said related to his conversation with Mary. He went over various scenarios of what he should have said, but lacked the courage. Picking up his phone book, he flicked through the pages and unfolded the napkin he had placed there. He wrote Susan’s number down. Turning the pages, he paused at Mary’s entry, then carried on and found his sister’s number.

  Elaine was the one who wrote to him in Afghanistan. The last time he saw her was at his dad’s funeral. June had been edgy then, keeping him well away from his sister. He had tried to talk to his brothers but the conversation was stunted. They still had nothing in common. Elaine kept trying to catch his attention, but June kept pulling him in the other direction. He regretted not talking to her, as his younger sister Jane had died two years before in Australia, and none of the family had been able to go to the funeral. June had made sure he had no contact with his family, particularly after the letter episode. The letter she sent, in his heart he knew, it was true. His loyalty had to be to his wife at the time to save their marriage. With the prospect of divided loyalties and family feuds, Jamie had taken the easy way out. The downside was his kids had missed knowing two aunties, two uncles and twelve cousins. All for nothing now that his wife was gone. He wondered if he should telephone his sister, arrange to meet her and bury the hatchet. He knew they had not had the best of brother-sister relationships, but he now blamed it on his mother favoring them and his own jealousy. Jamie didn’t feel he could move on until he tried to put things right, for the kids' sake as much as his own. Picking up the telephone, he dialed her number but the answer machine picked up his call.

  “Hi, Elaine, this is your brother Jamie. I just wondered if you could give me a call. Incidentally, I am divorced now.”

  Jamie settled down to start his crossword when he heard a noise in the back garden. Turning on the outside light he peered through the back window but could see nothing. Probably a cat. Just to be on the safe side he opened the back door.

  “Anyone there,” he shouted. A prowler is hardly likely to answer, you idiot. Jamie closed the door and double-checked it was locked. He decided to turn in for an early night and watch television in bed. Rest didn’t come easy and he rose at even the slightest noise to peer through the curtains, before finally succumbing to exhaustion.

  Contents

  Hawaiian night

  Saturday arrived. Bill called at lunchtime and they went to the mall clothes shopping. Ellie helped Bill out with some outfits, and Jamie bought his Hawaiian shirt, some Bermudas and a pair of sunglasses. The opportunity to talk about Bill’s date failed to materialize with Ellie there. Bill whispered he would fill him in that night. Bill acted like a kid in a candy store at the mall, not for the clothes but for the women. His eyes darted uncontrollably and almost popped out of their sockets.

  “JJ, I need to be going. I’ve got to pick something up from a shop. Ellie, thanks for your help, I’ll see you later,” he said as he scurried off.

  Jamie was relieved when Bill left, and enjoyed the rest of the afternoon window-shopping with Ellie. Returning home, Ellie cooked as Jamie sat watching television with Steve. After the meal and after watching a little more television, Jamie went to shower and prepare for his evening out. Looking in the mirror, he thought he looked pretty cool in his new outfit. The sunglasses seemed to put a final touch to his image. Something was missing though. He reached for a jar of gel and ran his fingers through his hair at the front. God, you look good!

  “Dad, come down and see this!” shouted Steve.

  “What is it?” Jamie cried out, as he descended the stairs to the strangest site he had ever witnessed. Ellie and Steve were rolling about laughing.”

  “Jesus Christ, Bill, is that you?” asked Jamie.

  Bill stood there, wearing a grass skirt over some bright colored Bermudas, women’s black tights, and a skin tight, long sleeved, black top adorned with a flower garland. His face was covered in black theatrical makeup and an Afro wig. His teeth looked like he had just had them whitened as they stood out against the backdrop of his dark face.

  “What do you think? Do you think I’ll win the prize?” he asked, as he twirled round to show a sign on his back, ‘Wanted, Female Grass Cutter,’ with a pair of plastic scissors hanging from the sign. Jamie was in hysterics.

  “What prize is this then?”

  “Oh, didn’t I tell you? The DJ picks out the best couple on the dance floor for the Mr. and Mrs. Hawaii competition.”

  “No you didn’t tell me; it’s a bit like the suit business last week. I didn’t know you were that competitive.”

  “You look good too, no need to be jealous,” said Bill.

  Steve and Ellie stood at the door to wave them goodbye as they drove off in a taxi.

  Arriving at the marquee, they handed in their tickets and received a garland. Jamie noticed two clean cut guys in suits standing with the doorman and then he noticed the doorman nod at them as Jamie and Bill entered. That’s odd. The atmosphere was electric with a live band playing Hawaiian music and the venue already half-full. Of those, half the women members were wearing grass skirts, but all the men, with the exception of Bill, had followed Jamie’s example and were wearing Hawaiian shirts. Jamie donned his sunglasses determined to make the best of it. Picking up their huge free cocktail adorned with fruit and a straw, they sat
down at a table near to where the buffet would be served.

  “This is great, Bill.”

  “It gets even better.”

  “Go on, what is it you’ve forgotten to tell me this time?”

  “I’ve got a date tonight.”

  “What here?”

  “Yup, guess who?”

  “Come on, I’m not into games.”

  “It’s Gina, my new girlfriend from the speed dating night.”

  “You must be joking?”

  “No, we had a great night last night,” said Bill, with a big wink-wink. “She had nothing to do today, so I invited her here.”

  “Does she know that you’re in fancy dress tonight?” Jamie asked.

  “No, but then she thought I was in fancy dress last night and it didn’t bother her.”

  “Did you? Uh. . .you know?”

  “No, never even came close, she’s great company. Oh, and you know she is into lingerie?”

  “Yes, she did tell me.”

  “It gets better. Her company supplies sexual aids.”

  Jamie nearly choked on his cocktail.

  “What time does she arrive?” Jamie asked trying to swallow.

  “Ten o’clock, I have to be at the door to sign her in.”

  Jamie was pleased for him. He didn’t realize you could sign a guest in. I could have invited Mary but then she’s at her son’s. The venue quickly filled up. Jamie noticed the two guys from reception stood looking over from the bar, which unnerved him, but he put it down to the sight of Bill in his whacky costume.

  As the drinks flowed, everyone was in a party mood. It seemed strange Bill wasn’t circulating as he waited for Gina, but then he didn’t have to, the women kept coming over to join them amused by his outfit. Jamie just didn’t get it, but remembered Bill talking about women liking men who could make them laugh and, sure enough, there was plenty of laughter all around.

  Jamie was surprised how popular Bill was following the last dance night. Ten o' clock arrived and Bill disappeared, only to return with Gina, a big smile on her face, appearing undeterred by Bill’s outfit. Jamie didn’t know where to look. She had the most amazing figure, wearing a thong under her grass skirt and choosing one of her lingerie creations to show off her more than ample cleavage. He couldn’t help but feel a tad jealous. Despite Gina joining them, it still didn’t put the other women off. Gina seemed to be lapping up Bill’s popularity. She clearly enjoyed the company of a flamboyant.