Super Loud Sam vs Birdman

by Jo Simmons

  Five minutes later, Sam, Nina and Jock were outside the Topside Plaza hotel. Gregory Peck perched on the railings. There was a doorman wearing a long black coat and a cap. As the friends approached, he shook his head.

  “Hop it, young ones,” said the man. “We don’t want little Herberts like you cluttering up this fine hotel.”

  Jock stepped forward, his handsome face deadly serious. “Now look here, my good man, my father is Rich Handsome and he is staying here and when he hears that you would not let his son, er, Maximillian, into the hotel, he will be furious!”

  The doorman looked worried. “Rich Handsome’s son, are you?”

  Jock nodded.

  “Where is he staying then?” asked the doorman, trying to catch Jock out.

  “The penthouse suite, of course,” Jock snorted. “Now please, stand aside. I’ve brought him a fried egg from his own pet goose for breakfast. He always starts the day with one. I need to give it to him before it gets cold.”

  “Where is it then?” asked the doorman. “This fried egg you’re on about?”

  Jock was becoming impatient. “In my pocket and, no, I won’t get it out and risk it getting cold just so you can gawp at it,” he humphed, turning into a real diva. It was very convincing, but then Jock had always been good at acting (as well as sport, maths and just about everything else).

  The doorman looked uncertain, but slowly pushed open the door anyway and let the children through.

  Once inside, Sam, Jock and Nina paused. They had never been inside the Topside Plaza before. My, it was posh. The chairs had red velvet seats and gold legs. There were twinkly chandeliers when you looked up and a shiny floor when you looked down. Suddenly, the lifts went ding and out thundered Mayor Crackling and a crowd of town-hall types, bustling along beside him, looking extremely hassled.

  “Where on earth can he be?” huffed the mayor.

  He was marching past the three children now, heading for the exit, when Sam shouted, “Mayor Crackling, can I speak to you please?”

  Sam’s loud voice made the mayor stop.

  “Not now, son, I’m in the middle of an emergency,” he said. “Rich Handsome has disappeared. He checked into the hotel, but no one has seen him since. He is supposed to open the Topside Festival of Fun later – if we can find him.”

  With that, the mayor, full of worry and stress, swept out through the revolving doors. And back again. And out. And back again. (His mayoral chain got stuck in the spinning doors, and he had to take a few extra laps before he could wrench himself free and tumble out on to the pavement. Bit embarrassing.)

  The children followed.

  “Delivered your fried egg, then?” asked the doorman.

  “Oh, er, yes,” said Jock. “Thank you. It was still warm, so … great.”

  “I don’t suppose you saw a man with a big backpack come into the hotel this morning?” Sam asked the doorman. “Walks with a bit of a strut like an overgrown bird?”

  The doorman thought for a moment. He looked unsure, then he looked confused, then he looked like he had remembered something. “Yes, I know the man,” he said. “He went in about half an hour ago. Hasn’t come out yet, though.”

  Sam thanked the doorman and his friends hurried away.

  “Sounds like our friend Brian Moor from the warehouse has been here,” said Sam.

  “But where has Rich Handsome legged it to, when he should be getting ready for the festival?” asked Jock.

  “It’s obvious, isn’t it?” Sam boomed. “The pigeon backpack man turning up at the hotel and Rich Handsome going missing. They are connected.”

  “How?” asked Jock. “Mr Handsome has left the hotel but the backpack man is still inside.”

  “Wrong!” said Sam. “They left together, just not by the front door. Think about it! When you have a gazillion pigeons to help you, there are other ways of getting down from a room at the top of a building.”

  Nina looked serious. “The man with many wings can achieve all sorts of things,” she said.

  “Exactly!” said Sam.

  “You think Brian Moor has kidnapped Rich Handsome?” said Jock, stopping suddenly on the pavement.

  “I’d bet my mum on it!” said Sam. “Those two go back a long way, but I have a feeling that Brian Moor has more in mind than a friendly catch-up with Mr Handsome. We have to find them – and fast.”

  Chapter 18

  A Discovery at the Warehouse

  Sam was not keen to return to the warehouse. Not after Brian Moor had threatened the children never to return. Not after failing to blow those doors down and being mocked. But Sam was sure Rich Handsome was in danger, and the first place to search for him had to be the warehouse.

  Sam needed to be brave. He focused on what Bryce had said. What was it? “Find a way to magnify your voice.”

  The children were approaching the train station now, on their way to the warehouse on the wasteland beyond. Magnify…? Magnify…? The word spun around Sam’s head; he was thinking so hard he forgot to check his footing and…

  CRASH!

  Sam walked straight into a line of traffic cones.

  “Are you OK?” Nina asked. Gregory flapped above, concerned.

  Sam grinned like he had never been better and picked himself up. But that wasn’t all he picked up. Looking around to check nobody was looking, Sam grabbed one of the traffic cones and rushed off, with Jock and Nina running along behind and Gregory Peck flying overhead.

  Once back at the warehouse, the children paused near the front doors. They half expected them to open, like the last time they had visited, but instead the doors were locked and the whole building had a quiet, closed-up feel. The children raced round to the small side window. It had been mended since Sam blasted it, but he easily blew it open again with a super-loud shock wave of sound. Using another rope knitted by Nina, the three friends shimmied up and in, with Gregory Peck, wearing his canary suit for safety, flying in behind.

  The warehouse felt oddly quiet. No sound of pigeons scratching around in the rafters. No cooing. The whole place was empty. “Where have all the pigeons gone?” asked Nina. “There are normally thousands here.”

  “And where are Brian Moor and Rich Handsome?” asked Jock.

  There was a muffled cry. The three children looked at one another, eyes wide.

  “It’s coming from over there,” whispered Nina, pointing towards the locked room.

  “We have to get inside,” said Jock. “Can you do it, Sam?”

  They hurried over. Sam had failed to open the doors yesterday. Would he be able to blast them down today?

  The visit from Bryce Canyon had filled up Sam’s confidence tanks to the max. The dial on his internal confidence-o-meter was set to FULL. It was time to take Bryce’s advice and magnify that shock wave.

  Sam began to rumble, preparing a wall of sound. Just as he was about to let it go, he raised the traffic cone to his lips and blasted the wave through it. The cone worked like an amplifier, boosting the sound and hurling it forwards with extra force. The door rattle, strained and then clattered inwards, blasted clean off its hinges.

  “Woo-hoo!” yelled Sam, marching over the collapsed door into the secret room. “That is how you do it!”

  The muffled cries were louder now, coming from a distant corner. Sam edged towards the sound. “A light! We need a light,” he called.

  Jock searched near the entrance and found a switch. Snap – the room was suddenly bright.

  Now they could see what was here. It was a lab, containing scientific equipment, test tubes, microscopes and huge fridges. It also contained…

  “Rich Handsome!” yelled Jock.

  There he was – Britain’s richest man – crouched in the corner of the room, a scarf around his mouth, and his hands and feet tied with rope.

  Sam quickly unknotted the scarf while Jock and Nina unravelled the bonds from Rich Handsome’s legs and hands.

  “Thank you! Thank you!” gasped Mr Handsome, struggling to his f
eet. His face, usually tanned from all his holidays to the Caribbean, looked pale and his golden hair was ruffled. Rich Handsome was shaking.

  “Did backpack man do this?” Jock asked.

  “Backpack man?” said Rich Handsome.

  “Brian Moor, you know, the man who was going to fly,” said Sam.

  “Yes, yes, Brian did this!” said Rich Handsome, looking nervously past the children. “He tied me up then whooshed off again on his pigeons – but he said he’s coming back!”

  Chapter 19

  Look Up!

  Rich Handsome had barely finished speaking when a loud grinding noise, like machinery clanking into life, rumbled through the air. It was coming from above. Suddenly, a chink of bright sunlight ripped across the room, growing wider and wider.

  Everyone looked up. A hatch in the warehouse roof opened to reveal brilliant blue sky. The children and Rich Handsome shielded their eyes and peered up.

  When the hatch was fully open, there was silence for a moment, but then Sam heard something. The sound was faint at first, but even so, it made his stomach flip. Thousands of wings, beating at once, heading their way.

  The three friends and Rich Handsome stood close together, staring up. Rich Handsome was shaking even more now. Gregory Peck perched on Sam’s shoulder, his tiny pigeon eyes fixed on the open hatch.

  “What is that?” asked Rich Handsome. “What’s happening?”

  But before anyone could answer, a blanket of grey blocked out the sun.

  Chapter 20

  A Villain Wings In

  If only the blanket of grey was an innocent rain cloud. Or a very large goose.

  But no.

  Sweeping overhead, cutting out the sun, was a huge flock of pigeons.

  Sam watched in amazement. He could not see the whole flock or tell what size it was, but it had to be big. Really big. Like an alien spaceship cruising over a city. It took ages to pass overhead, before finally flying off to reveal blue sky again.

  “What was that?” asked Rich Handsome, still confused.

  Again, no time to answer. The flock was back almost as soon as it had left. The birds were circling above, like a giant pigeon hurricane. But instead of rain dropping from this cloud, something – someone – more sinister was descending. Brian Moor! Down he came, lowered by a chain of pigeons, until he was suspended just above the heads of Sam, Nina, Jock and Rich Handsome. His long dark coat had gone and in its place was a bright red suit that clung to his body with the huge gold letters “BM” across his chest and a shiny gold cape.

  “Brian!” said Rich. “It’s Brian Moor!”

  “Wrong!” yelled the man, dangling above them. “I am Brian Moor no more!”

  With that, the pigeons that had held him up released their claws and let him go.

  Everyone below ducked, expecting Brian to crash to the floor, but instead, he hovered, slightly awkwardly, just above their heads.

  “Coo-coo-coo-can’t you remember, Rich?” the man said. “You gave me wings!”

  With this, he whipped off his cape and sent it shimmering to the ground. Then he rotated in the air to reveal what he had been keeping in that backpack all along. Not an umbrella or a packed lunch or his mobile phone. No. Something far more odd, creepy and weird. A set of wings! What? Yes, wings! Strange, stunted wings, all wrong for the body they were growing on, like the pointless tiny arms of a T-Rex.

  Nina gasped. Rich Handsome covered his eyes and whimpered. Jock blurted out, “Woooah, NOT excellent!”

  Sam shuddered and blinked hard. So that was what the backpack was all about. It was not for carrying things, but for concealing them. And those things were wings: small, ugly wings growing off the man’s back.

  They were covered in a few fluffy white feathers, with pale pink skin visible beneath, like the wings of a balding chicken.

  “Not very pretty, are they?” said the man, still hovering. “Not exactly what you promised me, Rich. I was going to be the first man to fly, with wings like a swan. You promised me fame and riches. But your experiments went wrong and you grew tired of me. You cast me out with nothing! I was alone – disfigured and abandoned!”

  Brian Moor’s tiny wings fluttered extra fast at this shocking information. He seemed to be struggling to stay up in the air.

  “So I came to live here and met my true friends – the pigeons. They know what it is to feel overlooked and underappreciated. These birds love me, and in return, I have made them magnificent.”

  Again, the man’s tiny wings seemed to be tiring. He dipped suddenly, making Nina and Sam duck, and had to flap crazily to pull up again.

  “But the pigeons are not magnificent!” said Sam. “They are horrible and mean. What have you done to them?”

  “I have conducted my own little experiments, just like Rich Handsome did,” said the hovering man. “I used my own blood plasma, which still contains traces of the experimental formulas used on me, to develop a band of huge, super-strong pigeons.”

  “So that’s how they got to be so big,” said Sam.

  “Precisely,” said the man. “My experiments were limited to Topside at first, but then I travelled the country, collecting pigeons from far and wide and modifying them, too. Now these birds will do what pigeons do best – fly home. Soon, the whole country will be full of my warrior pigeons, trained to cause chaos and destroy normal life. Pah! How I hate normal life!”

  “Why are you doing this?” yelled Sam.

  It was a good question.

  “So that, finally, people will take notice of me. Finally, I will be famous – just as Rich Handsome promised. No one will be able to push me or my pigeons around again. Pigeons will become superior, humans inferior, and the one who is both human and bird will rule over all. That’s me, by the way.”

  Brian Moor flapped hard again, hovered a little higher and then spread his arms wide.

  “I shall rule the country and you will bow to my greatness. So forget Brian Moor. He is over. From today … I AM BIRDMAN!”

  Chapter 21

  Birds Go Bad

  Nina, Jock and Rich Handsome gawped, speechless, as Birdman flapped above them, staring off into the distance, delighted with his dramatic plans.

  But the silence was broken by Sam. He was clapping, slowly. Clap. Clap. Clap.

  “Very nice!” Sam said. “That was quite a speech. We are all terribly impressed. I mean, what a story! Who knew? Incredible! I get it now. I really understand what’s going on with this whole new villain identity. Catchy name, too. Nice. And that outfit – it’s gorgeous! You know, red really suits you. You can so carry it off. But just to sum up – just to make sure we are all totally up to speed here – you are Birdman, right?”

  The hovering man cocked his head. He looked puzzled.

  “Well that’s just peachy,” said Sam, taking a big breath. “Because I … am SUPER LOUD!!”

  Sam roared out his name. It felt louder than ever: a new top-volume triumph. Birdman shook his birdie head at the sound and his tiny wings flapped madly. But Sam was just getting started. He grabbed his traffic cone, and let loose an almighty shock wave of sound.

  BOOM!

  It threw Birdman upwards, his stubby wings beating frantically as he tried to regain control.

  “Wingmen, help me!” Birdman shouted, and a flutter of pigeons swooped down, each sinking its tiny feet into Birdman’s shiny red suit. They flapped together to hold him up as Sam released another, bigger blast.

  KER-BOOM!

  “Excellent!” yelled Jock excitedly. Rich Handsome was hiding behind him, shaking with fear. “Don’t worry, Mr Handsome – Sam’s amazing. He’s Super Loud. He’ll protect us!”

  Sam’s second shock wave threw Birdman and his Wingmen up towards the open hatch, but lots more birds quickly flocked to their master’s aid.

  “Take out the cone!” Birdman commanded, and more birds hurtled down, aiming directly for Sam. They began pecking his head and his hands; it felt like someone was hammering tacks into them.
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  “Ouch! No! Stop!” yelled Sam, swinging for them with the cone. Jock joined in, karate chopping the muscly pigeons, while Nina tried to poke them with her needles, but there were just too many of them and Sam dropped his traffic cone.

  Instantly, the birds picked it up and flew out of the hatch. Now Birdman stared directly at Rich Handsome.

  “Quickly, Mr Handsome, run away, get out of here!” Sam yelled above the sound of beating wings.

  But it was too late. Another troop of strong, sleek birds swooped down, this time heading for the billionaire businessman. They flew so fast and so hard that Sam and Jock were powerless to protect him. The birds grabbed Rich Handsome and carried him upwards.

  “Ca-coo-ca-coo-ca-come along now, Rich,” said Birdman, still hanging in the air. “We have the Festival of Fun to open, remember? We coo-coo-coo-couldn’t let the people of Topside down. Don’t worry; I’ll be happy to drop you off!”

  Then Birdman and Rich Handsome were whooshed out of the hatch and engulfed in the vast cloud of pigeons swooping above. The sound of beating wings grew louder and stronger and, in a flurry of flapping grey feathers, they were gone.

  Without wasting a second, Sam, Jock and Nina raced out of the warehouse towards Topside Park, venue for the Topside Festival of Fun.

  “What a nut!” said Jock as they raced along. “We can’t let this Birdman fruit loop take over the country with his evil pigeons.”

  “What are you going to do, Sam?” asked Nina.

  “Stop him!” roared Sam, loudly and confidently. “But our first job is to save Mr Handsome. He’s in danger. I don’t like what Birdman said about ‘dropping him off’…”

  Chapter 22

  Pigeon Pandemonium at the Park

  After a few minutes of hard running, with Gregory Peck flying out in front, the children spotted Topside Tower. It stood at the edge of the park, rising grandly above the space, its shiny windows glinting in the sun.