First to Fight Box Set: Books 1-5

by Nicole Blanchard

  “Deal.”

  Cole shifts against my chest. “When do they start talking?”

  “He could start any time now. He’s mostly an observer though, so I think it could be a while,” Olivia says around a yawn. “I’ve been trying to get him to say Mom for weeks, but he hasn’t.”

  “I’ll have him calling me Dad in no time.”

  “Fat chance,” she says, grinning at me.

  “Time for bed. I’ll put him down and then come help you up if you need it,” I tell her when Cole starts to fuss.

  She sighs. “Ben, seriously, you don’t have to do all of this.”

  “Complain one more time.”

  “I’m just sayin’—”

  “Yeah, yeah.”

  “Fine. If you want to be stubborn and unreasonable, you go right ahead. Sleep on the couch for all I care.”

  We head upstairs where she breaks off to her bedroom and I go to the kid’s room. He murmurs as I lay him down in his crib, but settles back into sleep. I make sure the monitor by his bed is on and take the other set with me. I pull his door closed a ways and find Olivia in the master bath.

  I’d dumped my shit in her closet so I go and retrieve my toothbrush and a change of clothes. She doesn’t say anything when I come back in the bathroom shirtless, but I don’t miss the way her eyes flicker over my bare chest. Shoulder to shoulder, we brush our teeth. All the while she’s trying to ignore me in the mirror which makes me want to smile. I’m such a dick for enjoying her nearness so much.

  She finishes and rinses, high-tailing it out of the bathroom like she couldn’t wait to get out of there. I follow and plug my phone into the outlet beside her bed in case Logan has any updates for me. The more time that passes, the more I worry they’ll never catch the asshole. I won’t feel comfortable until they do.

  “Do you want me to get some blankets for the couch?” Olivia asks after grabbing some clothes from her dresser. She hovers in the bathroom doorway, clutching them to her chest.

  “Don’t need ‘em.”

  Her brows furrow. “Are you sure? It can be chilly sometimes.”

  “Not sleeping downstairs, Liv.”

  Her eyes flicker to the bed. “You don’t mean you’re going to sleep with me.”

  “I do and I am.” I pull back the covers and slide in. The scent of her curls around me and I can feel every muscle relax and tighten at the same time. That scent has haunted my dreams for fucking months.

  “Do you think that’s a good idea?” she says timidly.

  “I’m not gonna try anything. You’re in too much pain for that right now.” I let the implication that she may not be in so much pain later hang in the air.

  “You would be fine on the couch.”

  “I’m going to be fine right here.”

  We have a little Mexican standoff as she glares at me from across the room. She huffs, spinning around to the bathroom. When she comes out in a pair of shorts that barely cover her ass and a skimpy tank top that leaves not a whole helluva lot to the imagination, I almost swallow my own tongue.

  Maybe sleeping in the same bed wasn’t such a good idea.

  Olivia

  Movement wakes me and I’m thankful that I’m in my own bed this time. My eyes adjust to the darkness and I see Ben beside me thrashing on the bed. His muscles are coiled beneath his skin, sweat sheens his forehead and his heart beats a visible pulse in his throat. As my nerves calm, my mind races to catch up. I don’t know what to do. I’ve heard of PTSD and the resulting nightmares, but I can’t remember if I’m supposed to touch him or wake him or what. A crying baby, I can handle, but I don’t know what to do to help the man beside me. Ben comes awake with a jerk, his eyes finding mine in the darkness.

  He doesn’t say anything, he just pulls me down and fits himself against my back. Finally, I ask, “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m good.” He gasps for breath. “Just give me a few minutes.”

  I don’t know what to say. I don’t know if it’s smart to have him hold me like this when everything is so messed up. The only thing I do know is that I want to take his mind off of whatever horrors he just relived.

  “Does that happen often?”

  “Nah, not really. Talking about it yesterday must have brought back the memories is all.”

  Sadness wells in my chest. Without thinking about it, my hand moves to cover his around my waist. “I’m sorry for bringing it up.”

  “Don’t be.” We’re quiet for a few minutes and then he asks, “If I woke you up, I don’t mind sleeping downstairs in case it happens again. It’s pointless of me to be here if you aren’t getting any sleep.”

  With the memory of his fear fresh on my mind, I say, “No, it’s okay. I’m used to waking up every couple hours with Cole.”

  “Are you sure?” His hand flexes against the bared skin of my waist.

  “Yes,” I manage. “Yes, it’s fine.”

  “Tell me something,” he says.

  “About what?”

  He squeezes me tighter. “Anything to get my mind off it. Just talk to me.”

  I blurt the first thing that comes to mind. “Did you know I started looking into my birth parents?”

  “Logan may have mentioned it.”

  I shake my head at him. “I swear you three are worse than a bunch of chicks. He learned they were very poor—to the point where child services was called several times. They’d filed bankruptcy a year or so before I was given up. The notes in the file said that my biological father got involved with drugs. There was some sort of incident—they didn’t go into too much detail and I don’t remember it. Anyway, that’s what I’ve learned so far.”

  “Did your dad know?”

  I nod, before remembering we’re in the dark. “Yes, I told him at the same time I spilled about the pregnancy. He gave me what information he had, which was very little.”

  Short-lived relief fills me when I hear him chuckle, before he asks, “How did that go over?”

  I think back to that conversation with my dad, how supportive he was, and have to work to speak past the lump forming in my throat. “He actually wasn’t real surprised.”

  Ben is quiet for a moment, before I hear him clear his throat. “What made you want to look for them now, after all this time?”

  “When I learned I was pregnant, it was just something I felt like I had to know.” My throat burns with emotion. “I can’t help but wonder now that if I’d known my family, maybe I would have had some warning, or some way to prevent Cole’s illness.” I’d known Ben long enough to know his family didn’t have the predisposition for heart conditions.

  His hand moves to my hip and he pulls my body closer to him. “Stop. You don’t have to be around that boy for five minutes to know how much he’s loved. You’re a great mom. You don’t need to beat yourself up for things that are out of your control. But I know that’s easier said than done, trust me.”

  I wonder what he has to beat himself up about. Does it have to do with his nightmares? His injuries? I ache to know what haunts him, but now probably isn’t the best time to ask.

  As he holds onto me in the darkness, I feel myself softening toward him. I should have known there was a reason why he kept himself away from me.

  And now I’m determined to find out exactly what it is.

  Unable to fall asleep for the fear that he’ll have another nightmare, I listen to the sound of his breathing until the sun streams in through the windows. I scooch down the bed, trying not to wake him as I slither out of his hold. I nearly manage to make it free when his fingers tighten around me.

  “Where are you goin’?”

  “Check on Cole. Make breakfast.” Escape the warm, fluttery feeling that’s come back to life in my stomach after spending a night pressed up against him.

  “He awake?”

  I gulp. His voice is all morning-rough and gravelly. The cocoon of us under the sheets is too enticing. “No, but I still want to check on him, just in case.”


  “You can, but I want a minute with you first.”

  “Everything okay?”

  His thumb begins a lazy pattern on my stomach. “Everything’s fine. First time I’ve woken up actually feeling like I got some sleep.”

  “No more nightmares?” For some reason, I find myself holding my breath. It could be the fact that I want him to be okay. Or the slow heat that’s begun to build in my stomach. Maybe a heady combination of both.

  “Nah. Slept like a baby with you next to me.”

  His candid statement steals the breath from my lungs. “Good,” I manage.

  “Thank you,” he says, his voice low.

  “For what?”

  “For chasing away my demons.”

  The hand on my stomach urges me to turn until I’m facing him. He looks so innocent with his face soft in half-sleep, his eyes a darker shade of blue in the morning. My fingers go to his chest and I note the new scars marring the skin there. I finger one of them, remembering how angry he was when he came home from his last deployment and the look on his face when he woke from his nightmare.

  I open my mouth to ask about them, once and for all, but his hand slips from my hip to cup the weight of my ass and the words get stuck in my throat. The pain in my side and shoulder diminish underneath a rush of desire so potent that my entire body tenses.

  “Ben?”

  A small smile curves his lips. Lips that are inching their way closer and closer to my lips. And then his mouth brushes mine. There aren’t words to describe how it feels to be able to touch him again, to kiss him, after all this time. Despite all that’s changed between us, despite the months that have passed, I feel like a part of me has come home. For that reason, I melt against him, finally, and kiss him back.

  He releases me for a moment to look into my eyes, our lips just barely touching. He presses a series of soft kisses to my jaw, my eyelids, then back to my lips. Then we’re kissing slowly, deeply. One arm rests beneath my head, the other cupping my jaw as he claims me completely.

  No matter how much I’ve tried to deny it, I’ve never been anything but his.

  My fingers slide down from where they’re clutching his shoulders to the muscles of his back. Oh God, and I swear there is nothing more perfect than the weight of him above me. I open one leg and encircle his hip, arching against him.

  He breaks the kiss to inhale deeply. When he looks up his eyes are burning with desire. For me. I remember this feeling all too well. Our one night together was fuel for a year of fantasies and Ben far exceeds all of them in real life.

  He starts to dive down for another kiss and we freeze at the sound of Cole’s cry over the monitor.

  My fingers dig into his back for a second, then I let loose, tapping him on the shoulder. “I, um, I should go get him.”

  Ben lifts up and I scoot out from under him, thankful for the cool air. I hear him plop on the bed and groan into a pillow behind me.

  One day and I couldn’t even keep my hands off of him. I press a hand to my hot face as I walk into Cole’s room, body still thrumming from our kiss.

  He is trouble. A big, hot, nearly-naked-in-my-bed pile of trouble.

  The baby squeals as Ben topples the tower they’ve been working to build. I smile from where I’m sitting on the patio. After this morning, I’ve strategically kept my distance. Much as I like kissing Ben, I’m not sure it’s the best thing for either of us right now.

  Ben looks up as Cole slings the blocks around on the blanket. “He was born on—”

  “May 17th.”

  “Why Benjamin Cole?” Ben asks as he watches Cole’s antics with a smile on his face.

  I blush. I hadn’t considered when I named him that I would have to explain the story. I clear my throat. “I wanted him to have a part of you—that’s important to me. But I also wanted him to have his own name to go by, no offense.”

  “None taken,” he murmurs as we reach the swings.

  “Anyway, I know Marines are also called warriors. I may or may not have looked up all the boy names that mean warrior. Plus, Cole Walker sounds pretty badass, doesn’t it?”

  He chuckles. The sound is low and sends ripples through my stomach. “It does.”

  As Cole plays, Ben’s smiles at me. “Thank you.”

  I glance up at him. “For what?”

  He opens his mouth to answer, but Cole squeals in happiness and urges Ben to knock the tower down. Ben gives me a small smile and turns his attention to the baby, who is over the moon with all of the attention. As I take in the sight of them, I feel my heart squeeze.

  “I’m sorry that you had to go through his surgeries alone,” Ben says.

  “Thanks. He came through them like a champ, though.” Cole punctuates the statement with a squeal as the tower falls.

  “I promise you won’t have to go through anything alone again.”

  I turn sharply to study Ben’s face to see if he realizes what he just said, how much it meant to me, but he’s lifting Cole from the blanket and snuggling him to his chest.

  I admire the picture they make for a moment before my phone starts ringing in my pocket. Because of Cole’s condition he can’t spend too much time doing strenuous activities, so I motion to Ben and we start heading back inside.

  I answer the phone as Ben starts picking up the toys.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, Olivia, it’s Logan.”

  “Oh, hey. What’s up?”

  “We have some new developments. Can I meet you at your house?”

  All happy feelings from the morning with Ben and Cole turn immediately to panic. “Sure,” I reply around the lump in my throat. “We’ll be here.”

  “Good. Give me about ten minutes. Is Ben there or should I give him a call?”

  “No, he’s here.” Ben perks up and sends me a questioning look. When I’m unable to do little more than send him a frightened look, he carefully lifts Cole and comes to my side.

  “Good. See you soon.”

  “Who was that?” Ben asks.

  “Logan. He’ll be here in a few minutes to discuss the case.”

  “Did he say what it was about?” Ben rests his spare hand on the small of my back as he guides me back inside.

  “Just that there were new developments. He didn’t go into much detail.”

  We wait in the living room for a few tense minutes watching as Cole entertains himself on the floor. When the bell rings, Ben is up in a flash. Murmured male voices come from the entryway and they appear in the living room. I pick Cole up so I have something to do with my hands as Logan takes a seat on the couch.

  “Hey, Livvie,” he says, running a hand over his nearly-bald head.

  “Logan. Tell me you’ve got some good news.”

  “Of sorts. Do you know Chad Trenton?”

  My lips pull into a frown. “Of course. We went out a couple of times until—” I break off and glance back at Ben. “Until a few days ago. Maybe a week? It was a little bit before the incident. I haven’t seen him since.”

  “Is there any reason why he would want to hurt you?”

  “Chad? I don’t think so, I mean, he wasn’t happy with me the last time I saw him because, well, I broke things off between us. But he’s not the kind of guy that would hurt anyone.”

  “We’ll take that into consideration, but he’s one of a few suspects with a vehicle matching the description of the assailant’s. We’ve brought him in for questioning just to be safe. Is there anyone else you can think of that may have a grudge against you?”

  I shake my head. “No one at all. I’ve barely even left the house over the last couple of months.”

  “For what it’s worth, I don’t think he’s our guy either, but we want to be sure. The other is an out of state vehicle. Some low-life named Mason Smith, lives in the next county over. He’s a local thug. Drug dealer. Has a group of women that he pimps out on occasion.”

  “I guess it’s too much to hope that you’re bringing him in for questioning, too.”


  “He wasn’t at his residence when they went by, but we’ve got men out looking for him. In the meantime, just keep aware. Set your alarms and check your locks, just in case. There is something about this that isn’t sitting right with me.”

  “Of course. I appreciate the update. I know you’re doing all you can.”

  Ben walks Logan out. When he returns, I send him a relieved smile, “I’m so glad we finally have some leads. I’ve heard of Mason before. He lives on the other side of town. I highly doubt Chad could have anything to do with this. He’s not the brightest crayon in the box, but he couldn’t hurt a fly.”

  He watches as I flit around the living room, tidying up things that don’t really require tidying. “You can’t be so sure of that.”

  “Mason is a drug dealer. If anyone has anything to do with this, I’d bet it would be him. Besides, Chad and I were really just beginning to see each other. Even after he saw us the other night, he wasn’t that upset. Even when I broke things off.”

  Ben blocks the kitchen doorway with an arm as I try to squeeze through with a handful of dirty dishes. “You’re delusional if you think he wasn’t pissed off when he found me with my hands all over you.”

  “Your hands weren’t all over me,” I scoff.

  “Baby, my hands were full of tits and ass. Any man who walks in on that, especially with a woman like you, they’re going to be pissed off.”

  I look at him sharply. “A woman like me?”

  “Yeah, a woman like you.”

  “What does that even mean?”

  “It means if I were in his shoes, I would have been pissed off, too.”

  “So you’re saying that you would have gunned me down in a parking lot if you saw me with another man?”

  “I’m saying any man can snap, given the right circumstances. Losing you,” he says, staring deep into my eyes, “that would definitely throw any man over the edge.”

  I don’t even know how to respond so I duck under his arm and distract my racing heart with rinsing out the dishes. Desperate to change the subject, I blurt, “I bet you’re relieved that you don’t have to keep staying over here, huh?”

  Ben follows me in the kitchen, leaning against the island behind me. “What do you mean?”