For Always

by Janae Mitchell

  He leaned close to me, causing my heart to flutter. "Is there anything I can do to help with that?"

  I forced myself to back away and watch the track. "Changing my mind? No, I'm afraid not."

  "Look at me." When I did, he leaned closer again. "Are you sure?" he whispered.

  I couldn't believe he was doing this. I looked away again, but he gently took my chin in his hand and turned it back. "Please. Don't."

  He let go of my chin, but didn't move. "Why?"

  "You know why."

  "No, I don't. Because you still have feelings for me. And as long as you do, I'm going to try."

  "I wish you wouldn't."

  "Really?"

  "Yes." Because deep down I was afraid it would work. Not that I would choose him over Beau, but that I would choose them both.

  I had decided that it was time for the evening to be over. So when they got through riding, I told them I was going on home. "But don't let me ruin your fun. Don't leave just because I am."

  "But we rode with you," Beth said.

  "I got room," Chad said. "Y'all can ride with me."

  "I think I'm ready to head out, too." Jace said, and then he looked at me and asked, "Do you mind running me home?"

  ‘Yes, I do mind,’ was what I was thinking, but, "No, that's fine," is what came out of my mouth.

  They all just looked at us. "Whoa, Stone. Did you two plan this? Boyfriend leaves, leaves it wide open for you two to"—he made a dirty gesture with his hands.

  "No," we answered at the same time, making it look like we were lying.

  I told them bye, turned to go to my Jeep, and Beth yelled for me to wait.

  "We can go, too," Beth said. She must have noticed that I was being put on the spot and was going to rescue me.

  "I don't want to cut your night short. I'll be fine." Jace was still talking to Tyler, so he couldn't hear.

  "We really don't care, Malyn," Hunter spoke up. He was always quiet and never really said much, but I knew he was a good guy and I was glad Beth had him.

  "No, really. Stay."

  "I just don't want Jace bothering you. I know he still likes you, so if you don't wanna be alone with him…"

  "He won't bother me if I tell him not to. He's respectful…persistent, but respectful."

  "Okay, if you say so."

  "I say so. But thanks, both of you."

  "No problem," Hunter said.

  Beth added, "I'll talk to you later, okay?"

  I nodded and unlocked the Jeep. Jace was still talking to Tyler, so I got in and started it, thinking about accidentally leaving him, when he opened the door and jumped in. "Are you sure you don't mind taking me home? I just don't like being the fifth wheel. But I can stay—"

  "I don't mind," I interrupted.

  We listened to the radio and talked until we got to his road. It had been an uneventful, relaxing drive until we pulled into his driveway, and then I suddenly became anxious. When I put the Jeep in park, Jace reached over, turned the ignition off, and took out my keys before I knew what he had done. "Jace, what are you doing?"

  He was laughing as he got out and stood by his door. "Come in for a minute."

  "Jace, I need to get home."

  "Need? Or want?"

  "It doesn't matter."

  "Yes, it does. If you need to get home, you can go here in a minute. But if you want to go home, then I'll give you your keys back and you can go on home now." As I was trying to process what he had just told me, he said, "Okay, then. You can go in a minute." He turned, shut the door, and went inside with my keys, leaving me sitting in the driveway by myself.

  So I got out and followed him in so I could get my keys back. "Jace?"

  "Up here."

  Great. He was in his room. "Please bring me my keys!" He didn't say anything. "Jace! My keys!" He still didn't answer. He had some nerve playing these games with me. By the time I got to his room, I was mad. "Why are you doing this?"

  He was sitting on his bed as I walked in, holding my keys in his hand. He put them on his nightstand and got up. "I just wanted one last chance to talk to you. That's all. Is that too much to ask?"

  "As a matter of fact, it is."

  "Why?"

  "I don't need to be in your room. We broke up."

  "No, we didn't break up, you broke up," he said softly as he walked toward me. As he got closer, he leaned down and whispered my name in my ear, rubbing his hands slowly up and down my arms. “I still love you, you know.”

  I couldn't believe he was actually trying to cajole me—and I was actually letting him. "Jace, don't."

  He smiled, slid his hands in mine and pulled them to his lips and kissed my fingers before holding them to his chest. "Tell me you don't care about me."

  I wanted to lie and say I didn't care, but he knew better. That's the only reason he was doing this. "You know how I feel about you. But we can't be together."

  "Why can't we?"

  "Beau." Just saying his name made me feel guilty for even letting myself get put in this situation. "Beau is why we can't. I'm with him."

  "Can I ask you a question?" I just looked up at him, knowing he was going to ask anyway. "Do you love me?"

  "What?"

  He said it slower this time. "Do you love me? Because you told me you did."

  "I…didn't lie."

  "So, you do still love me?"

  "Why are you doing this?" I asked him again. "You're gonna make it so we can't even be friends."

  "I just want to know. I need to know."

  "You know I do." I said softly. "And I'm trying to resolve that."

  "Resolve that?" He laughed. “Maybe I can give you some resolution.” Before I knew it, he was kissing me.

  I could've pushed him away, made him stop, bit his lip, but I didn't. Instead, I kissed him back. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and I let him do that, too. Then he leaned down and picked me up, but instead of kicking him in the shin, I wrapped my legs around him. And instead of listening when I told myself to stop, I just kept on cheating on Beau.

  "Stop, stop, stop," I finally mumbled against his lips.

  Jace immediately stopped. "What's wrong?"

  "What do you think is wrong?" He was still holding me and my legs were still around his waist. "I don't want to be one of those girls."

  "One of what girls?"

  "One of those girls who has a boyfriend and then does something like this. One of those girls who strings her ex along, hoping he will stay single because the thought of him being with someone else hurts too bad. One of those girls that I can't stand." By the time I got done ranting, I was in tears. "And do you know what's sad? If Beau hadn't told me I had to choose between you and him, I wouldn't have. I don't want to be one of those girls, but it's like I don't know how not to be."

  He slowly put me down and wiped my tears. "Malyn, I'm sorry. Please don't cry."

  "I do love you, Jace. And I don't know how I'm going to change that, especially when we work together and your sister is my best friend. I mean, we see each other all the time. Just look at tonight. The first time we're alone together, this happens."

  "That's my fault. If I hadn't taken your keys, you would've—"

  "If all it takes is you stealing my keys to cause me to practically make out with you, then maybe we shouldn't be around each other for a while." The thought of that hurt, but if that's what it took, then that's what I'd do.

  He hugged me, which wasn't helping. "Malyn. I'm sorry. I just—“

  "I think I just need to go," I whispered into his shoulder.

  He let me go, but leaned down and softly pressed his lips to mine. "I love you. And I'm sorry I make you feel like something that you're not. You're not one of those girls, Malyn, trust me." He sighed. "Maybe we do need a break for a while."

  "It's what I need. Not what I want, but what I need."

  I got my keys and walked out, tears streaming down my face. As I got to the front door, he said my name from the top of the stairs, caus
ing me to turn around. "I love you. And if you need anything, I'm here."

  "I know." I turned to walk out the door, but glanced back at him and said "I love you, too," one last time.

  Chapter 23

  EMPTY

  Malyn

  I cried most of the way home, wondering if I should tell Beau what happened, knowing he would be mad. I was gonna miss Jace, but knew that not seeing him for a while would be for the best. Even though I still loved him, I loved Beau more.

  As soon as I pulled in the driveway, Grandmama came out and met me. “Hey.”

  "What's up?" I asked as I got out.

  "Well, I still ain't seen Beau. I've hollered for him, turned the ball on and everything."

  "Why didn't you call me?" I asked, panicked.

  "What good would that've done? Ya had a rough enough night, so I thought we'd figure it out when ya got home."

  I went into the house and dropped my purse on the counter. "Beau!" I yelled up the stairs, and then ran out onto the back porch. "Beau!" He didn't answer.

  "I was hopin' ya'd see him 'round here somewhere."

  "He wouldn't ignore you, though. If he heard you call, he would’ve answered you somehow." I ran toward the river hoping he may be down there and just didn't hear us. That's where he would've ended up when he turned the pump off. "Beau!" As I got closer to the river, I thought I saw something on the bank, but it was so dark I wasn't sure. But as I approached the river's edge, I knew I was right.

  Grandmama hadn’t caught up to me yet, but I heard her yell, "Do ya see him?"

  "Yes, but…” I ran to where he laid, face down on the ground. “Oh, no."

  "What's wrong? Is he okay?" She finally made it to where I was kneeling next to Beau’s body.

  I couldn't roll him over or anything because when I tried, my hands went right through him. "Dang it!" I started to cry, panicked. "He's just laying here, not moving." I threw myself on—well, in—him. "Beau, get up!" I smacked the ground where he laid. "Beau!"

  Grandmama knelt beside me, putting her arm around me. "I don't know what to do."

  "What's wrong with him?" I cried.

  "I can't see him, so I don't know. Is he not movin' at all?"

  "No."

  "Stay here, I'll be right back." She got up and ran back up to the house.

  It seemed to take her forever, but when she finally returned, she had one of the EMF pumps. I grabbed her hand to stop her from turning it on. "What if it hurts him? If he's this bad in this form, what will happen when he's solid?"

  "At this point, I don't think it's gonna matter. And we need to get him in the house."

  I thought about it for a minute, and since he still wasn't moving, I reluctantly said, "Okay, go ahead."

  She turned it on and I immediately flipped him over. There were no signs of any trauma, no marks or bruises, but then again, I wasn't sure if he was even capable of bleeding. "Can we carry him?"

  "We sure can try."

  I got him under his arms and she held onto his ankles. It took us forever, but we finally made it to the house with him. We propped the door open, got him into the sunroom, and laid him on the chaise. "What do we do now?" I asked, out of breath.

  "We wait, I guess. What else can we do?"

  I noticed he was sweating, so I got him a cold rag and just laid down next to him, rubbing his head with it. "Since we got him in here now, should I turn the pump off? Think he can get better faster that way?"

  "I don't know, Malyn," she said, wiping sweat off of her face. "I really don't know."

  I went ahead and turned it off. "What do you think happened to him?"

  "I ain't got the faintest idea. Unless the Takers had somethin' to do with it."

  I sat up. "I hadn't even thought about that!" It scared me, thinking about how I ran down to the river by myself in the dark with those things lurking around. And if they could do this to Beau, what else were they capable of? "But you'd think they would've taken him, not left him here like this."

  "You'd think." Not knowing what else to do, she decided to go on to bed, leaving me to tend with him tonight. "Holler if ya need me."

  I grabbed the ball and sat it beside us. As I laid on the chaise, practically laying inside him, I had a thought. So I reached over and turned the ball back on and laid back down, trying to relax. Either Beau wasn't dreaming or he was in worse shape than I thought. I even dozed off a couple of times, but he was still dreamless. He started sweating again, so I turned the ball off. As I laid back down, I started to cry, thinking of how I had been kissing Jace while Beau was here like this. All I knew is that it wouldn't happen again.

  The next thing I knew, Grandmama was waking me up asking, "How's Beau?"

  Remembering how he was last night, I quickly sat up, thinking he would still be lying beside me, but all I saw was an empty chaise. "He's gone!"

  "Gone?"

  I jumped up and ran outside, yelling for him. I got half way down the yard when I heard someone yell from behind me. I turned around so fast that I fell.

  "Malyn!" Beau looked as panicked as I was. "What's wrong?" he asked as he ran over to where I sat and leaned down over me.

  Just then, Grandmama came out with an EMF pump, running toward us. When she got close enough for it to work, I hugged him, causing him to fall on top of me.

  "Malyn, what's wrong? Are ya okay?"

  I just laid there, hugging him tight. "I am now."

  * * *

  We sat at the bar watching Grandmama make breakfast. It was unusual not to hear her singing while she cooked, but she was listening to Beau recall what had happened. I was surprised that he seemed to almost be back to normal, especially after the way he was last night.

  "As soon as I returned here, I wasn't just here; I was somewhere else, too. It's like I was standin' in a doorway and this was on one side, but the other side was . . . dark." I sat quietly, waiting on him to continue while Grandmama put our food on plates. "The next thing I knew, I was bein' sucked into some kind of black hole. I started fightin' to get away and get back here, but it just kept pullin' me in. I don't know how I made it out. I had no strength left and the fight in me was almost gone, but I made it. I fought my way out and landed on solid ground."

  Grandmama had fixed our plates and sat them down in front of us. "Did ya see anything on the other side?"

  "No, it was black as pitch in there." He leaned forward on the bar, clasping his hands together. "But I did see someone."

  Grandmama looked surprised. "Really?"

  "Yep," he replied, shaking his head. "I had felt someone pullin' at me, and when I noticed they were just wantin' out like me, I tried to help 'em. And, boy, she looked like she was scared to death. But we both clawed our way out, and as soon as we were free, she looked at me," he looked down at the counter as if he was seeing her face again, "then just disappeared." He waited on us to say something, but since both of us were slightly in shock, we didn't, so he continued. "What's really weird is how with all that commotion goin' on, me bein' sucked into that black hole, there was no noise whatsoever. It's like it was void of light and sound; just empty." He looked from me to Grandmama, then back to me. "Then the next thing I know, I'm wakin' up in here."

  I picked at my food while Beau and Grandmama continued to talk. I didn't feel hungry, which wasn't like me at all.

  "Earth to Malyn," I heard Grandmama say all of a sudden.

  "What?" My head suddenly felt like I was in a fog.

  "I was talkin' to you. Ya okay?" She looked concerned.

  "Sorry. I'm just tired, I guess." I hoped that was all that was wrong.

  "Maybe you should go lay back down. I can call Mrs. Stone and tell her you won't be in today, that you're not feelin' well.

  "Yeah, I think I will."

  "I'll walk ya up," Beau said, grabbing the pump off the counter and sticking it in the waistband of his pants. He put his arm around me like I might fall over as we walked up the stairs.

  "Will you get my purse, too? I nee
d to plug up my phone."

  When I got to my room, I crashed on my bed. Beau put my purse on my desk and attempted to plug up my phone for me, then covered me up and laid down beside me. "Ya feelin' alright?"

  "I don't know. I'm just really tired all of a sudden."

  "Can I do anything?"

  I tried to tell him no, that I was okay, but couldn't even get the words out. I felt him playing with my hair as I fell asleep.

  * * *

  "Malyn, Honey," Grandmama said softly, rocking my legs back and forth. "Ya need to get up."

  I opened one eye and moaned in disagreement.

  "You've slept the day away."

  "What time is it?" I mumbled.

  "It's five thirty."

  It took me a minute to realize that she meant five thirty in the evening, not morning. I rolled over onto my back and rubbed my eyes. "Are you serious?" I sounded like Wolfman Jack.

  "Yes. Are ya feelin' okay?"

  I stopped rubbing my eyes so I could try to pry them open. When I did, I saw Beau leaning back in my desk chair with his hands behind his head, looking at me.

  "How could I have slept so long after sleeping all night?"

  "I don't know, but ya did," she said. "Maybe you're comin' down with somethin'."

  I didn't feel sick, but something wasn’t right when I slept that long and could roll over and go back to sleep again. "Maybe. Was Mrs. Stone mad that I missed work?"

  "Nope. She even called to check on ya. When I told her you were still in bed, she seemed concerned and told me to make sure I told ya she hoped ya got to feelin' better."

  "Hmph." I wondered if Jace had told her about our breakup yet.

  "Are ya hungry?"

  "Not really."

  My answer made her feel my forehead to make sure I wasn't running a temperature.

  "Well, I'm gonna make ya some toast to nibble on since you ain't ate all day. Ya want some ginger ale?"

  "Yeah, I'm thirsty."

  As she walked out, Beau came over and sat down on the edge of my bed. "Your friends checked in on ya, too," he said, handing me my phone with an unreadable look on his face.

  I looked down at it and saw that LeLe had called and that Jace and Beth had sent texts. LeLe was fussing about me not calling or texting her in a couple of days, and Beth's message just said she hoped I got to feeling better and to call her, and so did Jace's first message. But his other messages said: