His Lullaby Baby

by Airicka Phoenix

  “Guys.” Toby looked from one to the other. “Is now really the time?”

  Damon and Jared exchanged glances.

  “He started it,” Damon muttered at last.

  “Did not!”

  The two started forward. Toby waited until they were a few feet before following with a shake of his head.

  The familiar path alongside the creek guided them up and over hills, each one growing steeper the further they went. Toby knew it would get worse before it got better. He knew there was one final hill right at the end that was the mother of all hills, but he headed right for it with the others.

  Halfway there, Sean turned and ran back. The crunch of gravel alerted Toby of his arrival before the boy even reached him.

  His hair was a floppy mess and his cheeks were flushed around the enormous grin straining the entire length of his face. He was panting when he reached Toby.

  “Hey!” Toby said, regulating his breathing. “What happened?”

  Sean shook his head. “Nothing.”

  “Why aren’t you with the other guys?”

  Sean shrugged. “Colten and Owen are arguing. I thought I’d hang out with you. If that’s okay?”

  Toby scoffed. “Yeah, it’s okay. You having fun?”

  “Yes!” Sean blurted without hesitation. “One year, Mom put sleeping bags outside and we watched the stars come out, then it started raining and we went inside, but this is so much better!”

  Toby chuckled. “We do that sometimes. We’ll set up our tents and hunker down in the backyard. It’s not the same, but it’s fun.”

  Sean glanced out to where the others were walking several feet ahead. “Owen said you guys do this in the winter too.”

  Toby wrinkled his nose. “Not exactly like this. A few years back, we all pooled our money together and bought a cabin up in Whistler. We spend Christmases there. I’ll show you when we go up this year.”

  Sean blinked. “We?”

  The question sounded so much like something Addy would say that Toby wasn’t sure if he should laugh or pull the kid into his arms.

  “Yeah.” He eyed the boy. “If you want. I mean, I’d like you there. You and your mom and sister.”

  His eyebrows pulled together. “I don’t know. I’d have to ask my mom.”

  “Fair enough.” He exchanged his cane to his other hand, his right one covered in sweat and blisters. “Even if she says no, we’ll do something fun.”

  “I don’t think she’ll say no,” Sean mused. “Mom really likes you.”

  That brought a giant, stupid grin to his face. “Yeah? Well, I really like her too.”

  Sean said nothing for a bit. They walked with only their feet and the breeze through the trees filling the silence.

  “How’d you hurt your leg?”

  The unexpected question had Toby glancing over with surprise.

  “Got shot,” he said. “Here.”

  He touched the spot on his thigh. The boy couldn’t see the puckered skin, but Toby could feel it beneath the worn material of his cargo pants.

  “Were you a cop?”

  Toby shook his head. “Search and rescue.”

  “You were in the military?”

  A sense of Déjà vu came over him, making him falter; it was the same line of questioning Addy had given him.

  “Yes.”

  Sean said nothing, but Toby could feel the wall being built between them.

  “I know your dad was in the army,” he said quietly. “I know he hurt you and your mom, but not everyone who serves is like that. I sure as hell ain’t. I’d never hurt you or your mom or your sister and I’d sure as shit wouldn’t let anyone else either.”

  Brown eyes squinted up at him, brimming with suspicion and deliberation. “Mom told you?”

  Toby nodded. “Yeah, she did.”

  Sean looked away. “I don’t remember much about him.”

  The hand at Toby’s side twitched with the desire to touch the boy, but he held it firmly in place.

  “That’s okay,” he said.

  “But I’m older,” Sean cut in with a firmness that made Toby glance his way. “I’m bigger and stronger.” Sean tipped his chin up and stared hard at Toby. “I’m big enough to protect them now and I will.”

  Toby came to a stop. Sean did the same and the two clashed gazes for what felt like ages before Toby spoke.

  “I know you will. I’d expect nothing less.”

  Sean gave a satisfied nod. “Okay.”

  They made the rest of the way in silence. Sean stayed with him even when the other boys squealed and ran down the other side of the steep incline. Toby inwardly groaned as they reached the top, but he made his way down carefully and joined the group at the rocky bottom.

  Clear water lapped at the bank in a calming loop. All around, mountains and trees hugged the edges. Across the lake, water frothed and foamed as it tumbled heedlessly over the cliff in a glittering waterfall. The roar of it filled the entire chasm.

  They set up camp in the sun and got to work getting their fishing things set up.

  “Have you ever gone fishing?” Toby asked Sean, who was watching the others get their bait on their hooks without effort.

  Sean shook his head.

  “Well, let me show you then.” He found his way to a boulder and perched on it. He motioned Sean over and took the kid’s pole and tackle box. “The trick is to get it on there good, otherwise it’ll float off.”

  He did it a couple of times to show Sean. Then he passed it over and watched as the boy tied the worm on himself. Then he led Sean over to the lake edge and showed him how to cast. That, the boy got almost immediately.

  “You’re pretty good,” Toby said, impressed.

  Sean grinned. “It’s kind of easy.”

  “Hey! Sean!” Owen waved the kid over.

  “Go on,” Toby said when Sean glanced up at him. “I’m not going nowhere.”

  With another grin, Sean took off to join his friends.

  “He likes you.” Cole walked over to stand next to Toby.

  Toby chuckled. “Feeling’s mutual.”

  “You sure?”

  The question had him glancing at his dad. “Yeah, why?”

  Cole hoisted his hands into his pockets and shook his head. “Just want to make sure you know what you’re doing is all.”

  Toby stiffened. “Jesus, you sound like Mom. What’s going on with you two? Why can’t you just be happy I found someone I really care about?”

  Cole snapped his gaze to Toby. “Hey, slow down now. That wasn’t what I meant. I like Addy. I really like her kids. Good kids. I respect that, especially since she raised them on her own. But that’s why I want to make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into, Tob. You can’t walk into their lives, make them fall in love with you if you ain’t damn sure this is what you want.”

  “I’m sure,” he said without hesitation. “And whether or not things work between me and Addy, that won’t ever change. Those kids will always come first.”

  Cole set a hand on Toby’s shoulder and gave a squeeze. “Good to hear, ‘cause I will beat your ass if you hurt them.”

  “Hey, Dad?” he called before the other man could walk away. “How’d you feel when you adopted Damon? I mean, how did you know you wanted him?”

  If the question was unusual, his dad never let on. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other and rubbed at his jaw.

  “Well, we just knew. There was a connection there. Now, don’t get me wrong, it was a long, hard road, but when it’s worth it, you fight. That’s just the way it is.”

  Toby chewed that over a moment before nodding. “They’re worth fighting for. I don’t feel dread or fear over the possibility of being Dad to someone else’s kids. I don’t even see it that way. They’re Addy’s kids. They’re little pieces of her and they are damn good kids. I couldn’t be prouder of them.”

  Cole grinned. “That right there is how we knew we wanted your brother. When it just feels right.”


  “Now, I just gotta keep their mom outta prison.”

  The smile faded. “Yeah, that’s…” Cole’s words trailed off to nothing.

  “I’m scared I won’t be able to,” Toby confessed. “What if—”

  “Do you remember the afternoon you told me you wanted to join the Cadets?” At Toby’s nod, Cole continued. “We were watching the new Terminator movie and it was just the two of us and we were sitting there, the movie playing and you just blurted it out. I remember sitting there wondering if I’d heard you right.”

  “You didn’t move for ages,” Toby remembered with a chuckle. “So I repeated myself.”

  Cole nodded, his gaze fixed on the horizon. “I was so surprised, but I was also terrified. All I could think was my baby wanted to go off and fight in wars that very few ever come back from. I kept getting these horrible images in my head of men coming to the door and telling me I’d lost you. But you were hell bent and nothing was going to stop you.” He paused and Toby could see the knot tightening in his father’s jaw. “Your first mission, I didn’t sleep for a week. I kept wondering what if something’d happened to you. I jumped every time the phone or doorbell rang. I was so pissed at you for wanting to do something I did not approve of, but I took it one day at a time. It didn’t get easier, but I managed to keep what little sanity I had left.”

  “So you’re telling me to take it one day at a time?”

  Cole shrugged. “Yeah, basically. Nothing you can do sitting there worrying yourself sick.”

  “I still think I’d like to drive out and find the bastard and rid the world of him once and for all.”

  “I felt the same way about Damon’s dad. But, people like that, they always get what’s coming to them.”

  No one caught anything. It was too late in the season, plus the kids spent the majority of the time goofing off and shoving each other into the water to do any real fishing. Everyone trudged back to camp, slightly damp and a whole lot tired. Toby was ready to sleep for twenty years, but the moment they reached their tents, Sloan instructed everyone to start tidying up. They were leaving the next day and he wanted to do it with as little fussing as possible.

  The boys, lord knew where they got their energy from, but they were the only ones who continued to run on full speed. The rest slugged their way packing up and loading the vehicles.

  Everything was stowed away, except the tents and what little they would need in the morning. The campfire was lit and the sat phone came out.

  Sloan called Lily first. The phone was passed along to Cole, then Damon and Owen, followed by Jared and Colten. Toby and Sean exchanged glances, both asking the other if they wanted to go first. Toby relented.

  “You go on,” he told the boy. “I’ll wait.”

  Sean took the phone from Colten and scurried away from the rest.

  “I’m ready to pass out,” Damon said around a wide yawn. “I always thought these camping trips were supposed to be relaxing.”

  “Only when you don’t have kids,” Sloan mumbled from his slumped position in his chair. His head was tipped back and his eyes were closed. “Children are exhausting.”

  “Grandpa?” Owen said, drawing Sloan’s attention. “Did you ever bring Mom camping?”

  Everyone laughed, including Sloan.

  “Your mom isn’t a nature type of person,” Sloan explained to the boy.

  “Neither is your Aunt Calla,” Jared piped in.

  “The McClain ladies aren’t campers,” Cole added.

  “My mom isn’t either.” Sean returned, phone clutched to his chest. “I’m done if you want?”

  Toby heaved himself out of his chair and took the phone. He mashed it to his ear.

  “Hey baby.”

  “Hi!” Her sweet voice was music to his ears. “I hear you guys had a long day.”

  “You have no idea. We’re all ready to turn in here, well, except the boys, but I’m pretty sure they’re not human.”

  Addy chuckled. “I’m sorry.”

  He shook his head. “Tell me about your day.”

  He heard her sigh. “We’re in Vancouver right now, at some hotel. We spent the entire day getting pampered at this amazing spa and then did some shopping. It was late so we grabbed two rooms and we’ll leave in the morning.”

  “Sounds like you had fun,” he mused.

  “Oh, I did! It was magical. I feel and smell incredible.”

  Toby hummed quietly. “I can’t wait to see that for myself.”

  “I really want to go back,” she confessed in a rush. “Not tomorrow or anything, but maybe once a month or something.”

  “I think you definitely should if you enjoyed it that much.”

  “I don’t know if it was just the treatment so much as being there with everyone. It was just so much fun sitting there and talking about random, useless things. Even Hanna enjoyed herself.”

  “I bet that if you tell the others to make it into a monthly thing, they would,” he encouraged.

  “Maybe.” She paused. “I signed a new contract with Willa and Calla. It’s all in my name. Calla said she was so happy I’ve decided not to keep my identity a secret. She said people have been hounding her ever since the fundraiser and she was running out of excuses.”

  “I’m proud of you, Addy.”

  “Thank you. It’s so nice to be part of something.” She chuckled. “I’ve been talking about myself and my day for nearly ten minutes. Tell me how you are.”

  “I am ready to come home,” he admitted without pause. “I miss my bed. I miss actual food. I miss the shower! But above all else, I miss you.”

  “I miss you too, Toby. I miss both of you. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”

  Chapter 18 ~ Addy

  They left Vancouver after a lunch and drove the six hours back to Willow Creek. It was well into late evening by the time they pulled into Beth’s driveway. Hanna and Kari were fast asleep in the backseat, practically slumped over each other. They were nudged awake and led inside. They staggered their way blindly to the sofas and flopped down on either end. They were both out before their heads hit the pillows.

  “Winter is coming!” Lily grumbled, shutting the front door and rubbing her arms for warmth.

  “Snow!” Willa cheered happily and earned glowers from the others.

  “The men should be home shortly.” Calla turned away from her sister. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m too tired to make supper.”

  “Definitely,” Willa agreed.

  “We could order something,” Lily mused with a sigh.

  “Not pizza,” Beth said.

  “I can cook,” Addy volunteered. “I don’t mind. It actually relaxes me.”

  The group exchanged glances.

  “Are you sure?” Lily asked.

  Addy nodded.

  “Then I’ll help you,” Beth offered. “I hate when people cook and I just sit and watch.”

  “I don’t,” Calla said simply and made her way into the sitting room.

  “I would love the help,” Addy said to the dark haired woman.

  Addy slipped out of her coat and tossed it over the back of a chair in the kitchen and crossed to the fridge. She yanked the door open and peered inside.

  There was way too much to choose from. Beth was clearly one of those people who thoroughly enjoyed cooking and spent a great deal of time making large dishes. There was plenty there to throw together at a quick notice.

  “We could clean out your fridge,” she told the other woman. “Heat everything up and get everyone to finish it off.”

  Beth shrugged. “We can do that.”

  “Unless you’re saving everything for something?”

  Beth shook her head. “Nope.”

  They pulled out the containers and lined everything on the counter next to the microwave. One by one, each one went in and was dumped into a bowl that was placed on the table. There was a lot of waiting involved with only one microwave and a whole lotta dishes. Addy didn’t mind. The pr
ocess was a methodical one. Almost mindless. Except it was hard to get into the groove when the tension was so high.

  “I’m sorry if I seemed to take over your kitchen,” she said to the other woman.

  Beth shook her head. “No, it’s fine. It’s nice to have someone else that cooks. Lily does, but neither Calla nor Willa can. I taught Toby and Damon.”

  Addy chuckled. “He made me eggs one morning. They were delicious.”

  Beth nodded, but the tension was back. Addy couldn’t understand it. Every time Toby was mentioned, she could all but hear the wall being built just a little higher. It didn’t seem to matter how much progress she thought she was making. The woman refused to give her an inch.

  “You don’t like me with Toby, do you?” she whispered at last.

  Beth watched the countdown on the microwave with a tautness on her face. “It’s not my business. Toby’s a grown man and can do whatever he wants.”

  “I won’t hurt him, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

  “It’s not.”

  “Then what? Why do you hate the idea of me with Toby?” The answer came to her before she finished talking. “You don’t think I’m good enough.”

  Beth turned away and grabbed the next dish that needed to go in. She ripped off the lid and tossed it away from her. It hit the counter with a clatter.

  “What I think is that Toby isn’t ready for the type of relationship you’re looking for.”

  The container was brutally tossed into the microwave and the door was slammed shut with enough force to make Addy wince.

  “I don’t understand,” Addy said.

  With nothing to do and no way to avoid her, Beth faced her. Blue eyes snapped with a fire Addy didn’t understand.

  “I feel that he needs time to heal, time to focus on that healing instead of setting his therapy back by running around helping you put your house together. There are so many people you could have hired, but you chose to hire the guy with a good heart and an injury that hurts him every day.”

  “I didn’t ask him—”

  Beth put her hand up. “It doesn’t matter how he got roped into helping you. The point is that he’s hurt. He almost died. He could have died!” she shouted, like somehow, Toby getting shot was Addy’s fault. “Any higher and he wouldn’t be with us right now, but instead of giving his leg room to rest and heal, he’s trying to impress you.”