Hope Returns

by Dorey Whittaker

  Hope bent over and kissed Lisa on the cheek, then lifted the locket up and asked, “Mom, would you please put this locket around my neck before you leave?”

  The Miller sisters were quiet as they pulled out of the hotel parking lot. Neither one wanted to break the spell they were under. This afternoon had been more than either of them could have imagined.

  Seeing Lisa walk in the kitchen door answered all of Ben and Gladys’s questions. The smile on her face said it all. Flying into Ben’s waiting arms, Lisa burst into joyful tears. Ben did not say a word, just cradled her in his arms, feeling very thankful. During supper Lisa and Susan filled them in on the visit. As Lisa repeated everything she had said to Hope, Susan watched Ben’s expressions carefully as he heard about Steve for the first time. As Lisa told them all of her secrets, Ben just kept reaching over and patting her arm to comfort her. Susan glanced over to Gladys, who had also been watching Ben, and gave her a knowing smile. He was fine with all of it.

  Chapter 8

  Everyone was up early Saturday morning. Hope was coming around nine o’clock and Gladys had her pecan rolls in the oven by seven so she could get the kitchen cooled down before Hope arrived. Gladys was always the rock when everyone else was rattled, but not this morning. Lisa had never seen her so flustered. She tried to offer help but Gladys wanted the kitchen to herself and shooed both Lisa and Susan out to set the dining table.

  “I’ve never seen her this way before,” Lisa giggled. “She is finally going to really meet her granddaughter. Yes, Susan,” looking over at her sister, “Gladys considers Hope her granddaughter, just as she considers me her daughter.”

  “That is not news to anyone in this family, Lisa,” Susan teased. “The two of you are closer than most mothers and daughters. I am glad Ben suggested that he not be here today. He is right. Hope just found out about her birth father yesterday, and is just getting comfortable and free with you. There will be plenty of time to introduce Ben into her life later on. Today, it’s just the four of us women.”

  Gladys, finally comfortable she had everything under control, joined the girls in the living room. “Gladys, Susan and I were just talking about something that bothered both of us yesterday. Maybe it’s nothing. Maybe Hope just doesn’t realize how her words make Michael sound, but warning bells went off every time she talked about him.”

  Gladys cautioned, “It is too early to draw any conclusions. You don’t have enough facts and you don’t really know Hope all that well. Let’s just see how things go today. Let’s not grill her about this young man, but if she volunteers things about him, we all need to be very careful not to react in a way that makes her feel defensive. Maybe Hope was just very nervous yesterday and misspoke.”

  Hope arrived and warmed up to Gladys quickly, just as everyone did. Lisa and Susan decided to sit back and watch Gladys guide the morning’s conversation, watching her make her guest feel welcomed and relaxed. Before they knew it, she had Hope meandering through her youth, telling them stories that gave them a vivid picture of a very happy childhood. Gladys could ask questions few others could get away with. Her absolute sweet nature made it obvious to the questioned party that there was no guile whatsoever in her heart.

  They were just about finished with breakfast when a gentle knock and “Hello, there,” at the kitchen door signaled someone was coming in. Having forgotten to tell Lisa, Gladys quickly said, “Oh, Lisa, Mrs. Bascom said she wanted to stop by just to say hello to Hope. I didn’t think you would mind sharing her for just a few moments.”

  Hope was a little taken aback as a tall, slender, black woman came into the dining room. Mrs. Bascom was immaculately dressed in a lemon-yellow box suit with a beautiful pale-yellow silk blouse. Hope watched as this woman, obviously at ease in this house, made her way around the table, giving both Lisa and Susan a quick peck on the cheek as she greeted them before turning to the one she came to see. Extending her hand, she said, “Hello, Hope. I am Ruth Bascom, Lisa’s boss. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for all you did for our Lisa.”

  Smiling shyly as she took Ruth’s hand, Hope said, “I understand I, too, have lots to say thank you for. Lisa… my mom, told me how much you and Gladys did to help her. I think my debt is much greater than yours. Mrs. Bascom, even though I don’t get into the religious things myself, I can see it really means something to all of you, and I respect that.”

  Gracious as always, Mrs. Bascom gave Hope a big smile and said, “Lisa was worth every single moment of the struggle. Showing your mom that no one can ever be so bad, or so lost, that the love of God cannot save them, gave Lisa the hope she needed. I’m just going to keep praying that Lisa’s little Hope can one day come to understand it too. Gladys and I sometimes argue over whose daughter Lisa really is, so we both claim her. Therefore, if you don’t mind, Hope, I will just talk to God about you, instead of talking to you about God.”

  “I would appreciate that, Mrs. Bascom. I sure could use someone praying for me.”

  “Sweetie,” Mrs. Bascom almost giggled, “everyone in this room has been praying for you and we will continue to, just you rest assured of that.” Then, graciously switching gears to take the pressure of the conversation away from Hope, Ruth said, “Lisa, when I got to the bakery at five o’clock this morning I was surprised to see that you had already been there and had made several trays of pastries for me. I’m not complaining, mind you. It made my morning rather easy. But when I gave you a two-day vacation so you could spend time with your daughter, I did not expect you to beat me into my own kitchen and do all the hard work.”

  “I just could not sleep after yesterday,” Lisa responded. “Baking always calms me down and helps me think straight. Besides, Gladys wouldn’t let Susan or me do a single thing in her kitchen this morning.”

  Not wanting to intrude any longer, Mrs. Bascom explained, “Hope, I am so happy to have finally met you, but I need to run. I have a bakery order to deliver.” Ruth then slipped out the kitchen door so the four women could continue their visit.

  Gladys suggested, “You three head out into the living room while I do these dishes.”

  “Not on your life, Gladys. Susan and I can clear the table for you. Hope, how would you like to dry the dishes for Gladys?”

  “Sure, I’d love to,” Hope responded. “I still have lots of questions for you, Gladys. Maybe you can answer them while we do the dishes.”

  After the dishes were washed and put away, Gladys quickly got dinner in the crock-pot and they all settled down in the living room for an afternoon of good ole southern visiting. Lisa did not even want to excuse herself for a quick trip to the restroom, for fear of missing out on even a few moments of this precious time with her daughter. Gladys focused her stories on all the things she felt Hope needed to know about her mom. No one could champion the achievements of Lisa Miller as well as Gladys Carter could, even if they embarrassed the one being talked about. After one or two of these stories, Lisa said, “All right, that will be enough,” upon which Gladys lovingly retorted, “You just never mind, Lisa. I am allowed to brag on you. And, who better to brag to than your daughter?”

  Throughout the afternoon the four women shared stories, laughing at the silliest things. At one point Susan pulled out her camera and began taking photos of Hope and Lisa sitting on the sofa laughing together. She wanted to record these moments for Lisa.

  Hope told them all about her high school and college years with such a sense of pleasure, but when she would speak of more recent times, those including Michael, Gladys noticed a slight strain in her voice and more than once an out and out apology for having embarrassed him by her naïve behavior.

  Lisa and Susan watched as Gladys masterfully wove her questions about Michael in and out of other more mundane questions. Hope was so relaxed and unguarded that she began sharing how he sometimes made her feel stupid. “I know how important it is to be careful,” she started. “My mother is very close friends with Mrs. Gundersol and sometimes, after a dinner at her home, my mot
her will get a phone call and then I get a lecture.” With a deep sigh, Hope confessed, “Maybe I’m not cut out for public life. After all I am just twenty-two years old. Even though my mother thinks this is a chance of a lifetime, I’m not so sure. Don’t get me wrong, I love him. He is wonderful. It’s just that he expects so much of me and I hate disappointing him all the time.”

  Gently, as if just pondering out loud, Gladys offered, “Hope, have you considered putting the wedding off for a little while? If you feel you are too young to handle all this pressure, maybe a year of working a job will give you some time to grow up a little more.”

  “Michael would not stand for that,” countered Hope. “Neither would his mother, therefore, neither would mine. Plans have been made, calendars have been inked in, as Mrs. Gundersol says. I wouldn’t dare go against her again.”

  “Again?” asked Susan.

  Embarrassed at having said this, Hope struggled to turn her comment around. “Yes, well, kind of. You see, Mrs. Gundersol had very strong opinions about my looking for you, Lisa. She has very strong opinions on everything, but especially about adoptions. She and my mother have had some rather strained conversations over the years, regarding my origin. I think I am the only topic my mother has ever taken a stand with her. My mother really values her friendship with Mrs. Gundersol. Mother will drop everything whenever she calls. She loves all the teas she is invited to, all the grand political dinners she and my dad are allowed to partake in. My dad is the one who knew the Gundersols first. He went to college with both of them. Dad isn’t as dazzled by all the power and glitz as my mother is. Sometimes I think my mother would be even more upset than Michael, if I ever found the strength to stand up to all three of them.” Then, almost as an after-thought, Hope ventured, “But I think my dad would secretly enjoy it.”

  The timer began ringing in the kitchen, which indicated dinner was ready. Knowing it wasn’t wise to press Hope any further right now, Gladys simply replied, as she headed for the kitchen, “Well, I’m sure you will make the right decision, Hope. Just don’t let anyone push you into a lifelong commitment that you are not ready for. ”

  Dinner was almost over when the telephone rang and Gladys went to answer it. Coming back to the dinner table, she announced, “That call is for you, Hope. You can take it back in the hallway if you would like some privacy.”

  A puzzled look crossed Hope’s face as she said, “Is it my dad? He is the only one who knows I am here.”

  “Sweetie, I’m sorry, I didn’t think to ask who it was. Would you like me to?” Gladys asked.

  “No, that’s okay, Gladys. You said there is a phone in the hallway? I’ll just be a minute,” and off she went.

  Lisa, Susan, and Gladys sat quietly, trying not to listen, but finding it hard not to. They wanted to talk about all that Hope had shared about Michael and his mother but they were afraid she might hear them talking. So, instead, they sat still and strained to listen to Hope’s one-sided conversation.

  “Hello, this is Hope Winslow.”

  “Oh, it’s you. How did you get this number?”

  “Right. My dad, of course.”

  “But I tried calling you last night but you were not home and I did not want to leave a message with your mother.”

  “I know I promised you.”

  “Please don’t get that way.”

  “Michael, that is not fair. I tried to keep my promise, and I did not just choose to come here. I was subpoenaed, remember? But now that I’m here, I am certainly glad I came. Michael, I have learned a lot about my birth parents on this trip.”

  “But…but….but it is important to me.”

  “No, I didn’t. I guess I should have kept trying but Dad wanted to go to dinner…

  “Michael, was I supposed to sit in my room without dinner because you were not at home awaiting my phone call? Why is this my fault? Why didn’t you stay home and wait for my call?”

  A long pause meant Hope was getting a very long lecture and Gladys gave Lisa a warning sign, first with a single finger up to her lips, and then simply placing her hands flat together. Without a word, both women knew exactly what Gladys was instructing.

  “I do see your point but, Michael, couldn’t I just have this weekend without you trying to control my every move? I’m not a child, no matter what you and your mother think. I’ve been back here doing important legal business. I have also accomplished some wonderful personal business. I find it sad that you have not even asked me about that. Don’t you even care about the things that I care about?”

  Lisa shot a hand signal indicating, “Okay, Hope,” as they heard Hope ask this question. Then, just as quickly their hopes were dashed as they heard her say, “I know you have a lot on your plate. I know you are a very busy man with lots of important engagements to attend. I’m sorry I wasn’t more understanding. I really am. I am grateful you let me come back here when it wasn’t the best time for you. I really am grateful, and I apologize for sounding so disrespectful just now. I will see you tomorrow night. Good night, Michael, I love you.”

  Sick with concern for her daughter, Lisa knew she could not say a word right now. Hope returned to the dinner table, offering a lame excuse for why Michael had called. All three women observed that the young woman who returned to the table was no longer open and available. Her words were now guarded, her gaze downcast. It was obvious to all that Hope had lost that conversation and she did not want to discuss it. No one spoke of it the rest of the evening. Later, with a promise to try to come back sometime during the holidays, Hope departed and the three women walked back into the house and just sat quietly together around the dining table. No one spoke for several minutes. Gladys played with the fork, turning it over and over, as if by doing so, it might change into something else.

  Susan finally broke the silence, “Lisa, you and I grew up in a home with two tyrants. Our father did it with physical outbursts, and our mother did it by betraying us in order to protect herself, but what Michael is doing to Hope is just how it starts. Oh, he is much more polished than our father, but he is headed in the same direction. First he demeans her, making her question herself constantly. He controls her every move, and expects her to put his wishes and interests, not only above hers, but she isn’t even allowed to have any interest that isn’t centered on him. You and I both know when he gets tired of this game, the game will switch and he will get physical. We cannot let another generation of our family endure that kind of life. Our mother felt like she had nowhere to turn when Dad invaded her life. Her parents were no support and she wasn’t strong enough to stand up to him on her own.”

  A quick flash of anger came across Lisa’s face, “Susan, don’t you dare compare my daughter to our mother. Hope is nothing like her.”

  “I’m sorry, Lisa. I didn’t mean to compare them, except to say that, unlike our mother, Hope has you, she has me, she has Gladys, and she has her father. All of us care about her, so I was just making that comparison. That should give you some comfort.”

  “I know, Susan, and it does. But how do we help Hope see what he is before it’s too late? I don’t even know where to start. She has three very strong people pushing her and I am afraid she won’t listen to me. Two of them treat her like dirt, and the other seems to turn a blind eye because her eyes are so filled with the power and prestige the other two represent. I’m really frightened for my little girl.”

  “Then we need to pray,” declared Gladys. “She needs wisdom and strength, and we need wisdom and strength. When we can’t talk to the ones we love about what they need, it is best to talk to the One who loves them the most and ask Him to give them everything they need. Jeremiah 29:11 is a verse I am going to claim for Hope. I am going to quote it every day, as a prayer, until I know Hope can claim it for herself.” Smiling at Lisa, Gladys said, “Actually this is the same verse I prayed over you, Lisa, so it is kind of a family verse. ‘For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for your welfare, and not your calamity, pl
ans to give you a future and a hope.’ ”

  Chapter 9

  The next month was uneventful. Hope was back in California, calling only occasionally. Ben and Benny were deep in counseling, finally coming to terms with the loss of Beverly, and the newspaper was still full of stories about former-prosecutor Gordon. It would be many months before Gordon would actually go on trial, but the editor was determined to redeem his reader’s trust by exposing every dirty little trick Gordon had done under his cover of authority.

  The first big holiday for the bakery was fast approaching and Lisa had more than enough distractions to keep her busy. Their Thanksgiving special orders made for very long workdays. During one of Hope’s weekly phone calls, she shared, “Mom, Michael does not want me to go back there for Thanksgiving. Michael has two very important fund raiser dinners that week and he wants me on his arm. Besides, Mrs. Gundersol has invited all of us to their Thanksgiving dinner and my mother would not even consider missing that event.”

  “I understand, Hope. That is not an unreasonable request,” Lisa said, all the while dying inside at the idea of Hope on that man’s arm.

  “But I told him I do want to come back there for part of the Christmas holiday. I want to spend more time with you, and I would like to meet Mrs. Reiner. Do you think you could arrange that?”

  “I’m sure that can be arranged, Hope.” Lisa said with a voice that revealed her great pleasure at the idea. “Is Michael okay with this?”

  “He isn’t okay with lots of things right now, Mom. This is only one of them. As soon as I got back home, I decided to apply for a job, even though he and his mother had forbidden it. There were two companies in town looking for proof-readers. With my degree in English Lit, I was sure I could get one of them, so I applied for both.”