Ghastly Glass

by Joyce; Jim Lavene

  “If you would’ve paid any attention to me at all last night at the pub, you would’ve known. But then I would’ve missed this great opportunity to make fun of you for the rest of your life. You found your own brother hot. Your twin brother, no less. There’s something totally wrong and revolting about that, don’t you think? What do you think that says about you, Jessie? And how do you think Chase is going to feel after I tell him? ”

  Six

  I couldn’t worry about what Chase would think at that moment. I was too revolted by what I’d thought. I couldn’t believe I thought my brother Tony was sexy doing anything. I couldn’t believe Marian and I were drooling over him. I felt like I needed therapy or something. It was awful.

  He just stood there, looking like the Devil, and gloating. I decided retreat was my best way out of this. I didn’t want to talk to him about it anymore. Especially with him still wearing the almost nothing I’d found so attractive. Who knew (besides the fairies) that he was hot?

  “I’ll see you later.” I turned and walked away, but he wasn’t going to let me go that easy.

  “Maybe we should do lunch some time. We could make it a threesome; you and me and Sissy.”

  “Shut up! Do you hear yourself? That’s just sickening.”

  “Come on, Jessie. You didn’t think it was so bad when I was up there dancing.”

  That was it. No one knew how to make me mad better than Tony. I turned to face him and pushed my finger into his chest. “Okay, I made a mistake. You’re just as disgusting talking about it.”

  He pushed back. “Yeah? Well coming from Little Miss Perfect, that’s a hell of an admission!”

  I pushed him again. He pushed me again. We glared at each other like pit bulls.

  “Hey there!” Master Armorer Daisy Reynolds came from her shop where we’d ended up confronting each other. “If you two want to put on a show, let’s do it.”

  I hadn’t realized that we’d drawn a crowd of visitors. The flashing cameras finally gave me a clue. Sometimes it was hard to remember that anything you did could be completely fascinating to the people around you. We were in Renaissance clothing (at least I was). That meant we were doing something that could be seen only in the Village. I supposed Tony would stand out anywhere dressed as he was.

  “What did you have in mind? ” I asked her.

  Daisy was a large woman with muscled arms from her time as sword and weapon maker to the Village. She wore a breastplate with an image of a phoenix on it. Her badly dyed blond hair was wild on her head, giving her the look of a Viking war goddess. No one ever argued with Daisy.

  She held out two wooden training swords. Tony snatched one, and I took mine, too. I suspected I was more reluctant than Tony to actually battle, even with a fake sword. But the crowd was really pressing in with the possibility of a show. I guessed we’d have to oblige them.

  “I’ll keep score,” Daisy said. “Whoever nicks the other three times with the sword is the victor. Are you ready, gentlemen? ”

  Until then, I’d forgotten I was dressed like a man in the Craft Guild. I wondered if it would make any difference to the crowd. They looked fairly bloodthirsty. Probably not. Who wouldn’t want to see a good fight with the Devil?

  “It’s like on TV,” one little boy close to me said. “Who do you think will win? ”

  His friend grinned and said, “I’m betting on the Devil. That other guy looks like a girl.”

  Before we could take up arms, Chase and two security guards arrived to see what was happening. Daisy explained that she was in charge of the pseudo-match and would coordinate everything.

  Chase glanced at me. “Are you sure about this? ”

  “Not really, but my stupid brother seems to be.”

  “Is that you, Tony? ” Chase laughed. “I’m not surprised. I always thought you had a little devil inside you.”

  Tony gave his evil Devil laugh. “That’s right. And I’m betting gold I can best this craftsman. Then we’ll talk.”

  “Okay. Let’s make it a fair fight,” Chase reminded him.

  “Oh, it’ll be fair all right,” Daisy said. “Or I’ll take something out of someone’s hide.”

  “If I win, you confess to Chase,” Tony snickered.

  “And if I win, we never talk about this again,” I rejoined.

  So my twin brother and I faced each other, with the crowd from the Pleasant Pheasant and the joust that had just finished watching us. I’m sure we seemed equally matched to the visitors’ eyes. We were both right at six feet tall. Tony was broader in the shoulders and chest. I’m sure I appeared more lithe.

  Before anyone could say go, Tony swooped in and nicked me with the point of his sword.

  “Hey! That wasn’t fair. That shouldn’t count. Daisy didn’t say we should fight yet.”

  Daisy shrugged. “It’s not a running match, Sir Craftsman. No one has to tell you it’s time to fight the Devil.”

  That made me mad. Or madder. The whole thing was stupid. Unfortunately, I tended to forget that when at the Village personal issues should be dealt with behind closed doors. Anything outside in the street was fair game to be turned into faire entertainment. “Cheater!” I taunted him.

  “What did you expect? I’m the Devil. I don’t play fair.” He tried to get past my guard for another nick.

  I moved away quickly and spun back to catch his arm with my sword. It reminded me that during the Renaissance fights like these were all too real. These nicks meant nothing to us, but had this been a real sword fight, we’d both be bleeding, possibly dying, before the cheering crowd.

  “A point for the craftsman!” Daisy called out. “They are fairly matched.”

  The presence of the bailiff and his security men meant an ever-growing crowd of watchers. Not only visitors joined us but also at least ten residents that I noticed. Tony came close to catching me again with his sword. I decided I’d better pay attention.

  We feinted, parried, dodged, and whirled around each other to the delight of the crowd. Tony’s long red cape punctuated his every movement. You might think most people would be on my side, but there were as many people cheering for the Dark One.

  Too bad for Tony that he hadn’t bothered taking the free fencing lessons given by the master swordsman who’d been in the Village two years ago. His movements were a lot of jabbing and twirling while mine were actually skilled efforts.

  I gave him a second nick as he worried more about how his cape flew out around him.

  “Second blood goes to the craftsman!” Daisy called.

  Tony glared at me, and I smiled back at him. “Just luck,” he said. “I have longer reach.”

  “Whatever. We’re the same height. That means our arms are close to the same length. With my added skills, I shall smite thee down, Satan.”

  I went in for the kill but realized my mistake a moment later as Tony tagged me again with his sword.

  “Strike two for the Devil!” Daisy addressed the crowd. Half of them booed while the other half cheered. It was like being at a joust without horses. I noticed King Harold standing on the sidelines watching. He was surrounded by his courtiers, as always. A few new female faces were at his side (maybe the rumors were true about him and Livy breaking up).

  The event that had started so innocently was about to be over. I’d noticed Tony’s propensity for overcompensating because he liked to make his cape swing out. I went in for the pseudo-kill and stepped on the edge of his cape as he got ready to twirl it around for show. This made him step back and turn toward me, but his sword was in his left hand (Tony is a southpaw like our dad, while I’m a righty like Mom). I brought my sword in quickly, tagged him, then moved quickly out of his reach.

  “Score! The craftsman wins the match!” Daisy called out and held up my sword arm. The crowd went wild. Even the people who were for Tony were applauding me.

  Tony snarled and swept his cape around him as he dropped his wooden sword and stalked away from me.

  Of course, I’d never
hear the end of this. Just one more thing I did better than my brother, which included most life skills. But I’d never be able to dance the way he had at the show. Maybe that was where his true talent lay. I knew he’d keep his mouth shut now. He never went back on a bet.

  The king came up and joined the event. He called for his squire to give him one of the gold plastic medallions they awarded from time to time, usually to visitors. “For ridding our Faire Village of the Evil One, we salute you, Sir Craftsman, and would know your name so it might be heralded throughout our kingdom for all time.”

  “I am Jessie the Fearless of the Village Craft Guild.” I held up my sword, and the crowd shouted, “Huzzah.”

  “We thank you for your good work, Jessie the Fearless. We invite you to join us for our feast tomorrow evening at six P.M. at the Great Hall in the castle near the main entrance. Tickets for the event are available at kiosks around the Village. Huzzah!”

  I was less than impressed by the king’s commercial. Still, a personal invitation to the feast meant I didn’t have to worry about what role I’d have to play there. I’d been everything from a kitchen scullion to the jousting knights’ squire in the tournament.

  “Thank you, Your Majesty,” I responded as I thought appropriate. “I shall attend thee at the feast on the morrow.”

  King Harold thanked me loudly for the benefit of the crowd, then whispered, “I’m sorry to have to do this to you, Jessie. No frills tomorrow. You’ll have to ask Portia for a gentleman’s feast attire. Can’t have the crowd expecting a hero and getting the belle of the ball. See you there.”

  “Of course, Your Majesty.” I inclined my head toward him in deference to his station, but my mind was already playing with possibilities that might surprise him.

  The event was over, and the crowd began looking at their Village maps again, deciding where to go next. Daisy whacked me hard on the back and told me I’d done a good job as she took back her swords. “The king thinks we should schedule something like this every day,” she told me. “What a crowd!”

  Chase was waiting for me after all the well-wishers had moved aside. “Are you okay? ”

  “I’m fine. I beat the Devil. I think I deserve a tankard of ale.”

  “What happened? Did Daisy ask you and Tony to fight like that? ”

  Not wanting to admit how it all started, I shrugged. “You know how it is. Sometimes you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time here. I guess that’s what happened.” I hoped he’d never find out the truth.

  “Aren’t you supposed to be at the Glass Gryphon? ”

  “Give me a tankard of ale and five minutes and I’ll tell you the story.” I watched as two headless gentlemen strolled by. One of them had a hat in his hand that he tipped to me.

  “I think I’ve got five minutes.” Chase wrapped his arm around my shoulder as we walked. “I got a call from Detective Almond earlier. The red gooey stuff on Ross’s body was really blood. His blood. I guess it’s hard to tell the real stuff from the fake.”

  “What about the rebar? Did they ID the fingerprints? ”

  “I don’t think so. Almond has been kind of shifty about the whole thing. I can’t figure out if he doesn’t know much or doesn’t want to tell me.”

  “Why wouldn’t he want to tell you?” We entered the Peasant’s Pub for that tankard of ale. Several people who’d watched my match with the Devil shouted, “Huzzah,” and thumped their empty tankards on their tables to show their approval.

  The Peasant’s Pub was decked out in spooky spiderwebs, and the bar wenches were dressed like ghosts. A spider and various other unusual items along with the traditional pumpkin decorated each table. It was a nice effect, overall. It worked inside where the sunlight didn’t reveal the flaws. That’s why the Village was waiting for dark to bring out the really interesting stuff.

  “You’re a hero!” Chase ordered us both a tankard as we sat at the big wooden bar.

  “A heroine, please.” I smiled anyway.

  “Whichever you are this day, Craftsman, you are welcome at the Peasant’s Pub, and I would like to give you a free tankard. On the house!” Hephaestus, a big bearded man who probably resembled the Greek god he was named after, bellowed out his praise. That started another loud set of huzzahs with more tankard thumping.

  I was about ready to be done with all of that and start being an anonymous craftsman again. The huzzahs can get to you after a while, and tankard thumping gets to me right away.

  “Maybe we should’ve gone somewhere else where you weren’t so famous,” Chase said. “Although free ale is nice.”

  “I know. I’ve been thinking about visiting the Lady of the Lake Tavern. I haven’t been at that end of the Village for a while. You know how the pirates are sometimes.”

  “Tell me about it.” Chase nodded to Hephaestus, who personally served us. “I had a run-in with the Pirate King last week.”

  “What happened? ”

  He blew off the head on his ale. “It’s a long story. Let’s get back to why you aren’t working. Did Roger throw you out? ”

  “No. It’s hard to explain.” I wasn’t sure what to say about what had happened at the glass shop, especially with my recent revelation about Roger and Mary. I didn’t want Chase to disrupt my matchmaking plan. In my experience, men seem to have a thing about women interfering in love affairs, even those that are going badly.

  “Did it have anything to do with Henry grabbing your breasts? ” Chase didn’t look up from his cup.

  I swear I could’ve killed Portia at that moment. I could’ve looked at her unhappy, dead face in the Lady Fountain and been happy. She must’ve gone right to Chase for him to know so quickly about what had happened. The woman had no decency when it came to gossip.

  I tried quickly to think of a good spin to put on the story. My mouth even opened a few times, but the brain-mouth connection didn’t seem to be working. “Chase, I don’t know what to say.”

  “Maybe it’s a good thing you quit.”

  I didn’t want him to think that way since I planned to beg Roger’s pardon to get my apprenticeship back. “I can handle Henry. I know you know this isn’t the first time some stupid jerk has tried to maul me.”

  “So you didn’t quit because of that? ” He finally looked up at me.

  I could see his eyes were serious. He was really concerned about this thing with Henry. I felt as though I were walking on those shards of glass I’d broken earlier at the shop. I didn’t want him to be angry, but I didn’t want to give up my apprenticeship either. Well, I’d already given it up, but I was pretty sure I could get it back.

  But what to say in the meantime? Something thoughtful and intelligent. Something that would tell him he was my number one and had nothing to worry about with Henry.

  “Hey!” A tall, thin wraith hailed me as she walked by. Her makeup was really good. In the dim light of the pub, she looked dead. Her long white wig around her ghostly gray face made me wonder if theater had gone too far.

  “Hi there.” I thought she was one of the swordplay audience.

  “I caught your attack on Sir Henry of the Hot Pants and Heavy Breathing.” She held up one artificially (I hoped) white hand. “You go, sister! He only hits on his subordinates, girls he thinks he can intimidate into keeping their mouths shut. He wouldn’t stroll up to Daisy and do what he did to you. I only hope he can’t walk for a while after that. You should be teaching girls to do that stuff. That was awesome! I caught part of it with my cell phone to post on YouTube.” She glanced at Chase as she held out the cell phone. “You aren’t going to turn me in, are you, Sir Bailiff? ”

  Chase laughed. “Nope. Sounds like Jessie was doing my job for me.”

  “Well, it was great watching it. See you, Jessie.”

  I played with my tankard and took a sip of ale. Were these the right words to convince Chase I could handle Henry no matter how it looked to Portia?

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked when the wraith was gone. “I guess Ro
ger kicked you out because you went barbarian on his favorite nephew.”

  Could I let that supposition stand? It would make things easier between us but wouldn’t do anything for me going back to work there.

  “That’s not what happened. I quit because Roger was treating me like an apprentice from the 1500s. The thing with Henry happened after that. But I plan to get my apprenticeship back. Believe me, I can handle Henry if he ever tries anything again. Portia only saw what she wanted to see. And she’s got a big mouth.”

  Chase finished off his ale and looked at me like he was searching my face for something only he could find. He finally nodded and stood up. “Good enough. If something happens that you can’t handle, Jessie, you know where to come.”

  “And I appreciate that offer.” I smiled and stood up beside him, kissing him on the lips right there in front of God and sundry.

  “Methinks the craftsman and the bailiff may be a little odd.” The knave sitting next to us at the bar offered his opinion.

  Chase picked me up (he has a bad habit of doing that) and grinned at the pub full of residents and visitors. “Methinks you should mind your own business unless you want to face the wrath of vegetable justice in the stocks.”

  The huzzahs and tankard pounding started again. Thank goodness Chase carried me outside and put me down on the street. I couldn’t have taken another round of that. I was a little light-headed from the ale and dizzy from him picking me up. But I was very happy. I had to find a way to get through the fall with my apprenticeship and my relationship intact.

  “I’ll see you later.” Chase kissed me good-bye. “I hear the Lady of the Lake is having a buffet for residents tonight. Something about food about to go bad in the freezer if they don’t cook it and serve it. Your wish to visit that end of the Village is granted, milady.”

  “Thank you, sir. I would gladly pass the evening with you.”

  Two visitors wearing matching I Love Myrtle Beach T-shirts stood watching us. The woman smiled, but the man muttered, “Can’t get away from that stuff even in the past,” before he pulled the woman away. She managed to get a photo as she left.