Ghastly Glass

by Joyce; Jim Lavene

  “Is there any way we could negotiate with Portia or Beth to get you a female craftsperson outfit you can work in while you’re here? ”

  “Not that I know of. I was offered a demon costume, but that was as good as it got,” I explained. “Of course, being the bailiff and a highly respected Village official, maybe you could change that. I have nothing against looking like a craftswoman, but there are specific clothes requirements for the job. We don’t want a skirt going up in flames, do we? ”

  “Of course not. Think of the work that would mean for the costume makers.” Chase kissed me again and promised to find me when it was supper time.

  I had a whole afternoon to wander through my favorite place on earth. No one telling me what to do or when to do it. No worries about what I was missing in my apprenticeship. It was fabulous.

  I walked through every shop catching up with people I knew and introducing myself to some shopkeepers I’d never met before. I browsed the scarves, jewelry, incense, and all the other wonderful things sold throughout the Village. I indulged in some really good chocolate fudge at Frenchy’s Fudge. Frenchy offered me an apprenticeship there, but I had to refuse. I might be able to pass off roasting turkey legs as an authentic Renaissance cooking skill, but there was no way making fudge fit that bill. It was tasty anyway.

  I hit Cupid’s Arrow up by the Merry Mynstrel Stage and talked to Adora the shopkeeper. She had everything that could make a man love any woman. Love potions, Renaissance lingerie, even chastity belts. She offered me a love potion for Chase, but I told her it wasn’t necessary. We jumped around laughing for a few minutes in the excitement of celebrating true love.

  “Let me give you this special incense anyway,” she said. “I’ve had it on good counsel that this is the same incense the Queen of Sheba used with Solomon. And you know what kind of trouble that made.”

  I thanked her for the gift and tried my best to think of some way to apprentice with her. She was such a fun, free spirit. Nothing ever shocked her or made her think less of someone. You have to like that in your exotic-love-potion procurer.

  She wrapped my gift, and I promised to wander down that way more often. I walked back out into the fading sunlight, feeling good about everything in general. I turned toward Baron’s Beer and Brats and saw the familiar red writing and catch phrase on the wall.

  Death shall find thee.

  “Not again.”

  Seven

  Two of the scullery maids from Baron’s came up behind me and gasped. “That’s what was written on that Death guy who was killed,” one said.

  “It was written in blood,” the other added with a shiver. “Is that blood? ”

  “It’s just strawberry jelly.” I stuck my finger in one of the words as Chase had done outside the Glass Gryphon. It didn’t feel like strawberry jelly and it smelled bad. I started to put it in my mouth, like he had, but then decided against it.

  “Strawberry jelly?” one of the maids asked with narrowed blue eyes. “Are you sure? I’m in pre-med at Duke and it smells like blood to me.”

  I decided to put an end to the discussion. If it was blood, Chase should be here. If it wasn’t, it didn’t matter. “You know it’s hard to tell the good fake blood from the real thing anymore. I’ll just get something and wash this off.”

  Both maids seemed satisfied with that and walked back into Baron’s through the back door. I paced in front of the writing on the Village wall for a few minutes. This was one of those times I really needed a cell phone or a radio to call Chase. How could I leave the message? What if someone else messed it up? On the other hand, what were the chances Chase would just drift by? Especially since I wasn’t doing anything I didn’t want him to see?

  “If Henry was here grabbing my butt, Chase would show up like a lightning flash,” I muttered.

  I heard the trumpets announce that one of the Royal Court was taking a stroll through the Village. Obviously they were close by. I normally avoided all the cameras and visitors that accompanied the royal personages, but in this case, it could be a good thing. I hoped it would be King Harold as he’d be less squeamish.

  Instead it was Queen Olivia, out for her afternoon stroll. There were fifteen people with her: someone to hold the pink parasol over her head, three ladies in waiting, three jugglers, a knave or two, and several fools with bells on their pointy hats.

  The crowd parted as the queen came through, hundreds of flashes going off and some visitors bold enough to ask for her autograph. She was dressed in a full regalia of red velvet over a wide hoop. There were pearls around her neck and in her red hair. She was like an old luxury liner steaming through the Village, giving pleasure to the little people. This was heaven for Livy. She enjoyed the pomp and circumstance of her royal role better than anyone else.

  Livy was also too squeamish to flick a bug from her hair. Once after a joust on the Field of Honor, she nearly fell from the twenty-foot dais trying to get away from a mosquito. She’d probably faint if she saw the words on the wall.

  But there had to be someone in that group who could either take a message to Chase or stay here until I took a message to him. I searched all the faces of the ladies, knaves, fools, and jugglers, but there was no one I recognized. I needed someone I could trust. Someone who wouldn’t faint or scream, alert everyone else, and generally cause a panic.

  I stood there, hoping someone else would go by in the queen’s wake, but the procession came to an abrupt halt in front of me.

  “Are we interrupting your day, young craftsman?” Livy smiled at me and batted her artificially enhanced eyelashes.

  I seriously hoped there was a young craftsman behind me. But there were only the bloody letters on the wall. I bowed, playing the game. Of course she’ll recognize me. Of course she knows I’m not a man she can flirt with. “Of course not, Your Majesty. I am only awestruck by your beauty.”

  Two of the ladies giggled. That wasn’t a good sign. I knew that giggle. I’d done it myself a few times. This looked very bad. I didn’t want to imagine what would happen if it went any further.

  “You shall join our royal parade, young man, and tell us about yourself. Where do you hail from? ”

  “I am from a goodly distance away, Your Majesty, and sworn to wait here for my master.” She couldn’t really believe I was a man, could she? I mean, I’m tall and everything, and I was wearing a man’s outfit. But really . . .

  “Never mind your master.” She waved her heavily ringed hand in dismissal of my absent master. “You shall come with us. There is a party at the castle this eve. A private party.”

  This couldn’t get any worse. I knew I was in serious trouble when Livy adjusted her large bosom, precariously set in the low-cut square neckline. She was flirting with me. What was the penalty for pretending to be a man during the Renaissance? What was the penalty for misleading the queen in Renaissance Village?

  “There you are, you scamp!” Merlin was walking by in his starred, purple robe. He’d obviously been listening to our conversation. He might be the only one who could get me out of this mess. “I told you to wait over there. What are you doing over here? ”

  “Prithee, Master Sorcerer.” Livy sidled up close to him, her wide hips swaying beneath the hooped skirt. “We are taking this boy with us. He would better serve the Village under our tutelage.”

  Merlin raised one shaggy white eyebrow. “Good heavens, woman! This lad is barely old enough to be away from his mother. You can’t mean to dally with him! That would be most obscene.”

  I wasn’t sure at first what Livy’s response would be. I knew Merlin did as he pleased in the Village. I’d never heard of him being summoned or cajoled into doing anything the king or queen wanted. He’d been here since before Livy and Harry took up residence in the castle. Maybe he had some kind of seniority with Adventure Land.

  “Watch thy tongue, sir!” I could see by the look on her face that the queen was truly angry. “We shall not put up with your rudeness, sir, and shall speak to the ki
ng on this matter.”

  Merlin bowed low, his gnarled hand on his staff. “As you wish, Your Majesty. I would advise the king to tread lightly in this matter. Neither you nor he want to anger me.”

  The queen turned abruptly and reentered her group of courtiers. She gave me a very sweet smile before starting off again for her promenade. I realized I hadn’t breathed since Merlin entered the fray, and now took a big, deep breath. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome, I suppose. I could ask why you’re dressed as a man, but I just passed what I believe to be a headless sheep. I may be incapable of asking such questions anymore. Who thought of creating a headless Halloween sheep costume? ”

  I couldn’t help it. I laughed. It was good to be able to laugh with the queen out of my radar. “I suppose one could inquire what Bo Peep was wearing if she was herding headless sheep.”

  Merlin shrugged. “I don’t want to go there, my friend. What brings you to the Village at this time of year, Mistress Jessie? ”

  “I thought the whole Halloween theme would be interesting. I’m apprenticing with Roger at the Glass Gryphon.”

  “That’s not what I heard at tea today. Never lie to a wizard, my dear. We get very testy about such things. Who knows? You could end up a headless sheep yourself.”

  News, as always, traveled through the Village faster than bytes across the Internet. “Okay. I lost that position, but I think I can get it back. Roger really likes me, you know. And I think something else ails the glassmaker.”

  “Come tell me about it over some pizza at Polo’s. I’m famished. Magic takes a lot out of you.”

  “I can’t.” I moved away from the writing on the wall. I wasn’t exactly big enough to hide it, but I must’ve been doing a good job since no one in the Royal Court had noticed it. “I have to save this for Chase.”

  He glanced around. “Save what? Has another visitor had a heat spell put on them by one of those crafty fairies? ”

  I turned to make sure the writing was still there. Of course it was. The red bloodlike substance was even beginning to ooze down the wall. It creeped me out looking at it. “The writing. Didn’t you notice it? ”

  Merlin stared at it briefly, then looked back at me. “Must I relate the story of the headless sheep again to you, my dear? You know you seemed much smarter last year. A little faster on the uptake, if you know what I mean.”

  “This isn’t part of the Village Halloween event.” I finally understood his confusion. “Didn’t you hear about Death getting killed yesterday? The same words were written on him. The police said it was real blood, too.”

  “Like the message written on the glassmaker’s wall earlier today? ”

  “No. That was strawberry jelly. This is the real thing, I think.”

  “You think?” Merlin strode past me, his purple robe flying out in a way that made me avert my eyes. He was known for flashing a little occasionally. He walked up close to the wall and put his finger in the red goo, then put the digit into his mouth. “Hmm. Type A, I’d say. Of course, a good O can be difficult to pin down. Definitely from the area though. High salt content, you know.”

  I took back everything I ever said about Livy being squeamish. I almost lost it right there in front of the crazy Village sorcerer. It was bad enough when Chase had done it, but at least that had been jelly (which he’d said he could tell before he tasted it). “Eww. That is totally the worst thing I’ve ever seen.”

  “But now we know.” He nodded his stately white head beneath the ridiculous purple pointed hat. “As you might suspect, we should call in the bailiff.”

  “I know. I’ll go find him if you’ll wait here so no one will bother the writing.” As I was speaking, Merlin was pulling one of the Village-issued radios from somewhere inside his robe. I don’t want to know where. “Oh, that’s great. You get a radio. Chase gets a radio. Roger has a radio. Probably Fred the Red Dragon has a radio. I must be the only person in the Village that doesn’t have a radio.”

  “Hardly. And the dragon doesn’t have a radio. You can rest easier now, Jessie.” Merlin explained the situation to Chase. When he’d finished, he said, “You’d better get over here, boy. Queen Olivia was here hitting on your girlfriend. Or is that boyfriend? In any case, you’d better get over here.”

  Chase arrived a few minutes later. Lonnie took pictures of the wall. “Detective Almond can’t get over here right now,” Chase explained. “He said to take pictures and save some of the goo from the wall.”

  “I feel certain this is nothing more than people with bad taste copying what you found on poor Ross’s body,” Merlin replied. “I believe you’ve both taken it too seriously. You know how it is around here.”

  I did know how it was: crazy. “So maybe we’re looking for somebody with a bad sense of humor and not a killer.” That thought brightened my day. I didn’t care for the idea that there was a killer on the loose in the Village, especially not right now when the familiar had become unrecognizable.

  “I hope so,” Chase agreed. “Lonnie, can you send that picture to the police for me? ”

  “Sure, I’m good with computers.”

  “Thanks. I’ll scoop up some of this stuff, and then I guess we can go. It’s getting dark. I expect all hell to break loose once the night settles in. And I mean that literally.”

  Merlin said his good-byes and started back to his apothecary shop near the big first aid station and the entrance to the castle. Chase dispatched Lonnie with the red goo from the wall and the camera.

  “What made you take Lonnie on as your assistant?” I asked as we strolled toward the Lady of the Lake Tavern. I could already hear the cannon fire, a nightly occurrence, from the pirate ship as they set off a few rounds at sunset.

  “It wasn’t my idea. I guess Livy and Harold decided I needed some help. Lonnie showed up at the dungeon with a letter from Adventure Land headquarters telling me that he was officially mine. He’s a useful little guy. He can do almost anything I need him to do.”

  “He was at Sir Latte’s for a couple of years, but they kept him in the back. Probably that snorty laugh. I guess that doesn’t bother you.”

  “Not really. I thought they’d choose Jeff if they decided to pick anyone as my assistant. You know how well we worked together at the stocks last summer. But he walked off one day about a week after you left in August. No one’s seen or heard from him since. No telling where he’s gone.”

  “I’m sure there are whole files of people who’ve worked here and left.” I watched as the pirate ship sailed across Mirror Lake, past Eve’s Garden where they did demonstrations on plants and herbs used in the time of the Renaissance.

  The full white sails billowed out in the breeze that rustled through the trees as the sun sank beyond the horizon. It was a thrilling sight, even in modern times. The pirate ship, the Queen’s Revenge was as close to an exact replica as could be built. She was a fine piece of living history, except that her script called for several attacks on the tavern and smaller shops around the lake each day.

  The anguished howl of the lone wolf sounded again through the streets and beyond. I shivered and moved closer to Chase. “You know that’s a recording like my banshee, right? ” He laughed at me. “You don’t have to worry about being eaten on the way to supper.”

  At that moment, two tall, hairy, wolf-headed creatures wearing only ripped pants ran past us, slobbering and panting as they went.

  “You were saying?” I moved to the inside of the street closer to the shops.

  “You’re going to let them eat me first? ”

  “You’re the one who said they didn’t exist.”

  “I think you have too much imagination for your own good, Jessie. Maybe Halloween wasn’t such a great time for you to be here.”

  “Don’t be silly! I know this stuff isn’t any more real than Livy’s red hair or Princess Isabel’s bosom.”

  We’d reached the Hanging Tree near the tavern. Sometimes they hung a few pirates up in the tree, supposedly fo
r the evil they’d done. It was a traditional warning to other pirates back during the Renaissance. Tonight, however, there were skeletons in the tree. The breeze rattled the fake bones (at least I assumed they were fake) above us and made the cages that usually held the pirates creak.

  Imagination or not, this was scary. Maybe Chase was right. Maybe I was better off as a fun time, summer worker. I’d never imagined the terrible things the Village artistic directors could think of would be so real.

  The Lady of the Lake Tavern was symbolized by a figure dressed in blue, half woman, half fish but not really a mermaid type creature either. She held a nasty-looking sword in one hand and usually a tankard of ale in the other. The wooden sign had been modified for Halloween so that the tankard was covered by a head.

  “Oh, that’s nice. Just what someone wants to see before they go in to eat.” I looked around the building, which was painted a shade of blue to match the fish creature’s dress. There were wide windows on the ground floor with tiny panes of glass. Viewed through these multiple window panes, the lamp-lit diners in the tavern looked surreal.

  “You know, maybe this is a bad idea,” Chase said before we went inside. “We could grab a sandwich or something on the way back to the dungeon and eat there.”

  “Probably halfway there, someone would need you for something and I’d get stuck eating alone. At least here, there’s bound to be some excitement.”

  He put his arm around me. “Don’t worry. I’ll protect you from the real, and the not so real. If I can tell the difference.”

  “Protect me? ” I demanded. “I’m the man who defeated the Devil. Don’t you forget it.”

  “Shh. Not so loud. You don’t want to start the huzzahs again, do you? ”

  We were early for dinner (and we’d pay for it) as our hostess reminded us right away. Residents could get free food after the Village closed, but before then we paid like the visitors.