Tainted Lives

by Mandasue Heller

  Carina was upset – ashamed and humiliated. She had thrown herself at Vinnie, risking everything for a meaningless fling – meaningless for him, anyway. To her, it was something she had craved for months – the resumption of their affair, the beginning of the next chapter. She’d been so sure that he felt the same way. How could she have got it so wrong?

  ‘We’re going to the hospital,’ Vinnie said, breaking the silence at last as he washed his plate. ‘Hurry up and get ready.’

  Carina dreaded the prospect of being stuck beside him in the close confines of the car, but she knew it would cause trouble if Glen found out she’d stayed home when she could have been visiting his mother. Anyway, Vinnie was unlikely to let her stay, knowing that Glen would drag him over the coals for leaving her alone. Leaving her plate on the table, she went to get dressed.

  Vinnie hoped her quietness signalled an end to the games. He had thought she might turn nasty and threaten to grass him up, but she seemed to have come to terms with things. Still, he would have to tread very carefully to avoid pushing her into revenge territory.

  Carina pulled a black trouser suit from the wardrobe. She didn’t feel colourful today. She felt dark and depressed and the suit reflected the mood. It also seemed appropriate for visiting Pam, who – she hoped – might be nearing death’s door. It would score points with Glen if he saw that she had dressed respectfully for his precious mother. And right now, she had a feeling that she needed all the points she could get.

  If Glen found out she had slept with Vinnie while he was away he was sure to sling her out, and who would take care of her then? Not Vinnie, that was for sure. She’d be back to stripping for peanuts, sharing rooms with the other girls and getting her gear ripped off left right and centre. Or worse – living with her mother again. She’d rather die than go back to that.

  During the silent ride to the hospital, it occurred to them both that they might not yet be out of danger. They might have agreed to keep their mouths shut about their past, and neither was in a position to mention the latest fall from grace. But what about Pam? If she told Glen that they had been arguing in a less than innocent way when she collapsed, and that Carina had taken off without a second thought, there was no telling what he would do.

  They were visibly nervous as they followed the charge nurse to Pam’s room, but their fears were soon allayed by the realization that Glen’s mother didn’t actually remember anything about the day before.

  Propped up against the pillows, in the midst of what looked like an adventure playground of tubes, wires and probes, Pam was just as pale and weak as she had been the previous night. But she seemed a little chirpier, despite the appalling downward pull of the left side of her face.

  Leaning down, Vinnie kissed her good cheek. ‘You all right, darlin’?’

  ‘Yeah.’ She gave him a hideous grimace of a grin. ‘You?’

  ‘Fine.’ He pulled up a chair and took hold of her hand. ‘It isn’t me stuck in here, is it? Anyway, what have they said? You gonna be out clubbing it tonight, or what?’

  ‘Piss-taker,’ she slurred, chuckling. Looking at Carina then, she said, ‘Sit down, love. You look pale. Y’all right?’

  Humbled that Pam was being so considerate, especially in view of how poorly she obviously was, Carina nodded and made her way to the other side of the bed. Sitting stiffly on the edge of a chair, she waited for the accusations to come. She was more than a little relieved when they didn’t.

  ‘What happened?’ Pam asked, her words difficult to understand. ‘Can’t remember a thing. Glen went out, I got a headache. That’s it.’

  ‘Don’t you remember falling off your chair?’ Vinnie asked gently. Pam shook her head. He flicked a quick glance at Carina to see if she understood the implications of this. Carina gazed back at him wide-eyed, hoping against hope that she was reading this right.

  ‘Well, we were having a brew,’ Vinnie lied. ‘You, me and Carina. And you said you weren’t feeling too good so Carina went to get you a painkiller, but she couldn’t find any so I went to help her, and that’s when we heard the crash and came running back to find you on the floor. We called an ambulance and I went with you while Carina followed in the car. That’s about it. Don’t you remember any of it?’

  Shaking her head, Pam said, ‘No, nothing. But thanks, love.’ Turning her head to include Carina, she said, ‘Thanks.’

  Reaching out to pat her free hand awkwardly, Carina said, ‘It’s all right. Any time.’

  They stayed for another half-hour, chatting about nothing in particular until a nurse glared at them through the window and pointedly tapped her watch.

  ‘We’ve got to go,’ Vinnie said, getting up. ‘We’re getting the evil eye off your keeper.’ Leaning down to kiss Pam goodbye as Carina rushed to the door, he said, ‘See you tomorrow, babe. Be good and I might smuggle you a couple of fags.’

  Walking along the corridor towards the exit, Vinnie thanked Carina.

  ‘I know she isn’t my mother but she means a lot to me, and Glen will be chuffed when she tells him you came to see her.’

  ‘I know,’ Carina murmured, blinking back the tears that were stinging her eyes. She had never, even when they had been an item, seen the tenderness in Vinnie’s eyes that she had witnessed when he had looked at Pam just now, and it hurt that he should care so much for that foul-mouthed old trout when he felt so little for her.

  ‘You know what this means, don’t you?’ Vinnie was saying.

  ‘Yeah. We’re off the hook.’

  Stopping mid-stride, Vinnie reached for her arm and turned her around. ‘It means we’ve had a lucky escape, so this messing about has got to stop. Understood?’

  Carina peered into his eyes for a moment, then dropped her gaze and nodded.

  Satisfied that she meant it, he said, ‘Good. Now let’s just get back to the house and try and get things back to normal for when Al and Joe come round, eh?’

  ‘Yeah, okay,’ she agreed. ‘But . . . there’s just one thing.’

  ‘What?’ He narrowed his eyes.

  ‘I’ve got to go out now and then, and you can’t come with me.’ Her eyes were dark and serious as she looked at him now. ‘I know you don’t believe me, but I’ve not been seeing anyone. It’s my mother. She’s not too well and there’s no one else to look after her. If I don’t go, she won’t eat. You won’t try and stop me, will you?’

  ‘I thought you hated your mother,’ Vinnie said, reminding her of her complaints of the previous night.

  ‘Doesn’t mean I can just turn my back on her when she needs me.’

  ‘So why lie about it?’

  Carina looked down at the floor. ‘I don’t want Glen to know about her or he’ll expect me to take him round and introduce him to her. Come on, Vinnie, you must have someone in your past you don’t want anyone to know about?’

  Sighing heavily, Vinnie ran a hand through his hair. He could refuse to let her go, but it would probably put them right back where they started – and that was the last thing either of them needed. And what harm could it do, as long as she kept her visits to an absolute minimum? It would give him a break.

  ‘Okay,’ he said. ‘You can go, but only after Al and Joe have been round, and you don’t stay out more than an hour. Agreed?’

  ‘Agreed.’ Carina smiled shyly, her pupils expanding as she gazed up at him. ‘Thanks for understanding.’

  Getting a hard-on, Vinnie gave an irritated jerk of his head and set off walking again. It pissed him off that no matter how determined he was, he couldn’t control his dick. Carina was an attractive woman at the best of times, but vulnerable, like this, she was sexy as hell.

  The rest of the week passed without incident, and Carina and Vinnie quickly settled into a routine. They would visit Pam after breakfast, then return to the house and do their own thing for a couple of hours. After dinner, they would wait for Al and Joe to turn up, give them the latest news on Pam’s progress and assure them that nothing had happened on the intruder f
ront. Then, when they were alone, Carina would nip out to see her mother.

  None of that was a problem. It was what happened when Carina got back home that was.

  If they hadn’t been stuck in the house with nothing to do but drink and watch TV all night, Vinnie would have had no trouble keeping his distance. But drinking made him horny, and Carina always smelled so good and dressed so sexily. He’d look at her lying on the couch, her legs so lean and smooth, her breasts swelling each time she took a breath, her tongue so pink when she laughed, and he would remember how good those breasts felt in his hands, how sweet that tongue tasted, how those legs felt when she wrapped them around his neck and drew him in deep . . .

  He resisted for several days, but being under house arrest with all the booze he could drink and no means of seeing the girl who was plaguing his thoughts, it wasn’t long before temptation got the better of him.

  Reasoning that they had already broken the rules so it couldn’t do any harm if they were careful, and that it was Glen’s own fault for putting him in such an impossible position anyway, Vinnie reached for Carina’s hand as she passed him en route to the kitchen.

  She struggled to get free as he pulled her onto his lap. She had tried so hard to accept that he didn’t want her and she didn’t think it was fair of him to play games with her heart. Apart from which, she was sure he was testing her and was afraid that if she responded favourably he would get mad with her.

  Grinning wickedly as she struggled, Vinnie ran his hand up her leg and eased his fingers beneath the hem of her skirt.

  ‘You know you want me,’ he told her huskily. ‘Don’t play hard to get, it doesn’t suit you.’

  ‘I’m not!’ Carina protested, slapping at his hand. ‘You really hurt me, Vinnie, and I’m not letting you do that to me again. I’m not some doll you can play with whenever you feel like it!’

  Teasing her neck with his tongue, Vinnie felt the thrill pass through her body.

  ‘Yes, you are,’ he murmured, cupping her breast now and running his thumb around her rigid nipple. ‘You’re my own little Barbie doll, and I can touch you and taste you and play with you any time I want.’

  ‘What about Al and Joe?’ she gasped, trying hard to resist the desire that was weakening her resolve by the second.

  ‘We’ll go upstairs,’ he said, pushing her hand onto his erection. ‘Tell me you don’t want it, and I’ll let you go.’

  Groaning, Carina gave up the fight and fell against him. Seizing his hair, she pulled his mouth onto hers and kissed him hard.

  Lifting her, Vinnie carried her up to his bedroom.

  ‘Just promise you won’t turn on me again tomorrow,’ she begged as he tore off her clothes and stepped out of his jeans.

  ‘I won’t,’ he said, forcing her legs apart, ‘as long as you don’t get clingy, because this,’ he thrust into her, ‘is just fucking – nothing more, nothing less. Tell me what it is?’

  ‘Just fucking,’ she moaned, digging her nails into his back. ‘Nothing . . . mooore . . .’

  28

  Pam was discharged from hospital on the Wednesday of the second week. She was very weak, and still had no memory of Christmas Day from Glen’s leaving to waking up in hospital. But her speech was improving, and the doctors were optimistic about her chances of a reasonable – if not full – recovery.

  Settling her into her room, Vinnie and Carina spent the rest of the day fetching and carrying for her. It wasn’t long before the usual tensions began to surface between the women.

  Having had him all to herself, Carina resented having to share Vinnie. She was jealous of his affection for Pam, couldn’t bear to see him fussing around her. She tried not to show her displeasure, but it seemed that the harder she tried to be nice, the more Pam criticized her. When Pam turned her nose up at the meal that Carina had spent two hours cooking, she finally blew up.

  ‘Right, that’s it!’ she snapped, snatching the barely touched tea tray away. ‘I’m not doing another thing for you, Pam. You’re an ungrateful bitch! I know you can’t look after yourself any more, but if you think I’m gonna be your personal maid, you’ve got another think coming. As soon as Glen comes back, you’re going into a home!’

  They both knew that Glen would never allow his mother to go into a home, but it had given Carina satisfaction to say it. And it had given Pam pause for thought. It was true that she would need looking after, but there was no way she was moving in here with Madam. Nor was she giving up her beautiful bungalow and moving into a residential care home. She’d go to her own home and have Glen hire a carer, and that would be the end of it. Her mind was made up. And her Glen knew her well enough not to bother arguing once she’d made her mind up.

  Glen and Carl arrived home later that day in celebratory mood.

  Calling the family together for an impromptu party, Glen sent Vinnie and Freddie out for food and booze while he got a shower and spent some time with his mother.

  When everyone had arrived, he gathered them around the dining-room table. Sweeping the mats aside, he pulled a large plastic bag of powder from his pocket and spilled a healthy heap out onto the gleaming wood. Spreading it around, he licked his fingers and grinned at the men.

  ‘Help yourself, guys. Pure fucking snow, that is, courtesy of Dex Lewis.’

  ‘You what?’ Joe laughed. ‘He give you all that?’

  ‘With a little persuasion.’ Winking, Glen waved his hands, motioning the men to get stuck in. ‘And there’s plenty more where that came from. Our late friend had a fair old stash, I can tell you.’

  ‘Late?’ Freddie quizzed.

  ‘Too right,’ Carl affirmed. ‘We give him a chance to back off, but he decided to try and tangle with us. What can you do?’

  ‘Shame, really,’ Glen mused. ‘I should have let the little prick live. I’ll never know where he got his shit from now, and it’s Grade A, you’ve got to give him that. Still, at least we won’t get no more Smoke clowns nobbing about with us now he’s sorted. Word’ll spread. No one messes with the Nobles and walks away.’

  Taking Vinnie aside when everyone was busy burying their noses, Glen handed him a thick wad of money.

  ‘It’s a bonus, for looking after my mother. I don’t even want to think what would have happened if you and Carina hadn’t been here for her.’

  ‘I don’t need paying for that,’ Vinnie told him, hoping he didn’t sound as guilty as he felt. ‘I think the world of her.’

  ‘Yeah, well, I won’t forget it.’ Glen slapped him heartily on the back. ‘How was Carina?’

  ‘Bit quiet.’ Vinnie shrugged. ‘Missing you, most likely.’

  ‘I’ll make up for that now I’m back,’ Glen said, grinning lewdly. ‘The pros in the Smoke ain’t a patch on her, but it was either that or slip Carl one when he wasn’t looking, and I don’t think he’d have been too pleased. Anyhow, thanks for looking out for her, and I don’t want to see your ugly mush for a week.’

  ‘Eh?’ Vinnie eyed him nervously.

  ‘I’m giving you a week off.’ Glen laughed. ‘Jeez, man, don’t look too enthusiastic or I might change my mind. Go on – piss off.’

  Vinnie broke the speed limit getting home, but he wouldn’t have cared if he’d been pulled over and given ten tickets. He was just so glad to be free. There was only so much you could take of being stuck in someone else’s house – servicing someone else’s woman.

  He was relieved to be off duty on that particular score. Carina was sexy and gorgeous and more than willing to try anything, but that wasn’t enough to keep Vinnie’s interest. It never had been, which was why he’d stopped seeing her in the first place. And second time around didn’t make for a sweeter reunion, it just brought the tedium on faster. A few more days and he would have been too bored to get it up – which would have got her back up and put him back to square one. At least this way they had parted on relatively good terms, and now that Carina understood where he was coming from, she wouldn’t make the mistake of trying to get mo
re from him again.

  Unpacking his case, Vinnie turned his stereo up loud and climbed into the shower. Whistling along to the music, he luxuriated in the scalding spray and made plans for the rest of the week.

  First thing he’d do would be to contact Pete and Sarah and set up another visit. Then he would go out on the town and find himself some fresh pussy to get his blood pumping again.

  Sarah had been in a bad mood for days and Pete was walking on eggshells trying not to antagonize her. It was his own fault, he knew, but no matter what he did, no matter how much he apologized, she didn’t want to know.

  It had started a couple of days after Christmas when the bills began to arrive. Usually he grabbed the post first thing on his way to work and Sarah only saw what he wanted her to see. But the holiday drinking and smoking had made him forgetful, and she had got her hands on everything.

  The electric company were demanding two hundred, the gas three-twenty, the water board had gone a step further and were threatening to send the bailiffs round, and the bank had put a dead stop on him withdrawing a penny until he had paid off his three-hundred-pound overdraft.

  Sarah was livid. How had things got this bad, she wanted to know, when Pete had told her he was paying everything by direct debit? He tried to bluff his way out of it by insisting that he had paid and that the bank must have screwed up, but when she put her coat on and threatened to go and play hell with them, he’d had to come clean and admit that he had been withdrawing more than he’d paid in, in order to cover his gambling debts.

  Gambling. Pete didn’t know how he’d let it take over his life, but it had wormed its way in like a sweet-talking whore and had completely fucked him over. He’d been so sure that he would net the big one any day now, convinced himself that he would return all the money he had withdrawn – with interest. But there was always another dead-cert horse – another sure-fire set of Lotto numbers – another casino that was just dying to line his pockets . . .

  He wished Sarah would just beat the shit out of him and get it over with, but she punished him by withdrawing from him instead – absolutely, in every way. It was torture.