Because It's Not Love

by Kitty Parker

  Oh my god what could go better than chocolate and sex? I blushed at the wonderful fantasy and got myself out of the gutter. "But isn't it weird? If one of us gives up and the bet is off….just like that? Then don't you think that we can stop easily when we're bored?"

  We came to a red light and he leaned closer to me as I shivered at his warm presence beside me. "Well, if you do that then you really are a chicken. I thought you're the kind of people to keep promises, you know, never back down on a bet."

  I gave him a look. "You're crazy."

  "And you're interested. So what do you say?"

  I watched him, watched him looking at me intensely with his blazing blue eyes. I waited for him to pull away but he was leaning in closer and closer by the second. Whoa...was he about to kiss me? Just as I was about to find the answer, the thrill of car horns was shot through the air.

  At the corner of my eyes I could see it was now a green light but Carson didn't make any move to drive away. He was still leaning in and our lips were only a mere inches apart. I sighed as the sound of people complaining non stop behind us was heard. "Carson, the green light..."

  But he ignored me and gave me a small smile. "Deal?"

  God! At times like this he was still thinking about the bet! I tried to push him away but he wouldn't even move a single muscle. "Carson! We're making a traffic-"

  "Deal?"

  "Carson-"

  "Maggie."

  I sighed and nodded my head quickly. "Okay, deal, deal! Just drive the car so we won't get killed by the drivers behind us!"

  "Seal it with a kiss."

  I groaned and closed my eyes as the yelling and the blaring of car horns grew louder. "Carson, not now-"

  "I'm not moving if you don't do it-"

  "Okay fine!" I cupped his face and pressed our lips together in a very sudden movement. An electric vibe shot through me as the feeling of his cold yet sweet lips linger on mine. It didn't last that long because I was too aware where we were and I pulled away. He smirked at me, satisfied that I had granted his wish.

  "You happy now?" I granted and crossed my arms.

  "Very." He drawled and shifted the gear.

  I sighed and looked away, not wanting him to see that I was also happy to kiss him.

  "Just drive the damn car."

  Growing Pains

  "Stop drooling, will you?" Nick nudged me slightly while we sat here at a food court of a pretty crowded mall.

  I couldn't help it; the little girl sitting in a booth in front of us was showing off her dessert to me. She was licking her little spoon while chocolate dripped along it, making a dashing sound that only I could hear. The black haired girl dipped her spoon again into her chocolate cake that ended up a river of chocolate lava bursting out of the soft looking cake. She brought a spoon full of it into her mouth so slowly that the chocolate waterfall was flowing down from her spoon...

  I could've faint, the little girl just had the ability to torture me with a plate of chocolate cake. She knew she enjoyed doing this to me. I had to keep my feet in place when the big fat cake was captured inside her mouth. I just wanted to shove it in her face...she was chewing it so damn long! Her eyes flickered to mine and I had the urge to just get up and kill her but Nick grabbed my wrist and sat me still.

  I glared at her puffy pink cheeks and her big balloon head, it wasn't nice for me to say this (Because I'm always a nice person) but no wonder she was fat. "Just go buy one, no need to fight with a little girl." Nick told me with a wide grin on his face.

  I sighed and leaned back on my chair, dropping off my gaze from the cake. "I...can't."

  "And why not?"

  "Promised to a friend." I said and wish I hadn't. This was not going to end good.

  "Lisa?"

  I didn't want to lie to my brother (Because god knows how far I've been lying to him) but yet again I didn't want to tell him the truth too. Deciding to be safe, I decided to change the subject. "So why are mom and dad taking so long?"

  Today was supposed to be those bonding times on a Saturday afternoon. Dad went back home yesterday night (Something about a new doctor taking his shift bla bla bla) so he decided to take his great family to lunch and spend some more time with us. Nick was okay with all this and I was too but then I realized that dad just really wanted to take mom out. Seeing that he has children he made us tag along.

  Sometimes I wonder if dad loves mom more than us and I don't know if that's a wonderfully sweet romantic thing that he still loves her after all this year or if it's such a harsh thing that my own father doesn't really care about me and my brother.

  Of course he would only say, "Oh come now, me not loving you both? Where did you get that idea? Even if Nicholas wasn't planned he sure is still a son to be proud of. He has looks just like the old man, well if you can consider me old." He'd wink at mom and she'd giggle too much. "And you Margaret, you little eye candy. You look perfectly like your mom and you sure have a beauty like no other girls have. Why the hell wouldn't I love my children? Just because I spend too much at the hospital doesn't mean I don't think about my children."

  I would only roll my eyes and then he'd finally get the hint as he'd continue on. "And when every time I come around looking for your mom it doesn't mean that I don't miss you lesser than her. Loving a wife and kids are sure different, you don't want me to kiss you at night, do you?"

  Then I'd finally give up. It was always like this, talking with dad would be a mix jumble of words...though I kind of realize from him that love has so many meanings.

  "Don't change the subject. If it isn't Lisa, then who is it?" He asked me curiously.

  I rolled my eyes. "It's just Carson." Oh my god I did not say that, did I? I cured silently as I sat up straight and started to play with a strand of my hair.

  I felt my cheeks burn for no reason as Nick stared at me with a funny look. I waited for him to get shocked by the bluntness of my statement, well who wouldn't get shocked if you were a guy and your younger sister said your best friend's name that by the way had a reputation of being a naughty playboy? Well I definitely would.

  I waited for him to shout at me or maybe even ask why the hell I said his best friends name but all I got was a weird expression from him as he folded his arms and leaned on his chair, staring at me. "Huh."

  I cocked my eyebrows up. "What?"

  "Oh nothing…just never thought you were close with him." Nick said and eyed me briefly before I realized that mom and dad was walking up to our booth with their hands tied into a knot.

  "We've been looking everywhere for you guys and I'm hungry!" Mom laughed at herself and tugged dad's arm asking him to take her to a place she could eat.

  "How 'bout that Indian restaurant down the corner?" Dad offered and she agreed by turning around while she practically dragged dad along with her.

  This was our queue; Nick and I stood up and followed behind. It was always like this. Remembering the conversation, we had before our parents interrupted I wanted to convince him that there was no relationship with me and Carson. And that wasn't a lie, Carson and I didn't have that type of lovey dovey relationship. "We're not; we just came up with a stupid bet from our boredom."

  We arrived at the restaurant and a waiter showed the way to our table with a forced smile. I bet he didn't like working at this place.

  The restaurant theme was of course Indian (Who would sell Indian food with a Chinese theme?) in a soft red color with a splash of orange. There were many candles everywhere and paintings of Indian places or people. The soft music entertained the customers and it had an oddly beautiful feeling with a scent of something musky and spice.

  I sat beside Nick while mom and dad sat in front of us, they were discussing about something I could care less so I turned to my brother. "It's a stupid bet anyway." I added lamely, acting nonchalantly and busied myself by looking around the place.

  "If it's so stupid then why not break it?"

  Huh, good point. Well maybe because at the end of the be
t there will be hours of heavy sex and lots of chocolate? But of course, I would never say that to Nick. What would you do if your sibling had a sexual thing with your closest friend? Oh god, just imagine Nick with Lisa. As happy as the thought of Lisa being my sister-in-law (IF it ever happens) but to think of her having meaningless sex with my brother…is a different thing.

  "Because I bet on him not to have sex until Christmas."

  What was wrong with my mouth? I swear to god I needed to glue them tightly to stay away from something like this. I glanced at Nick and watched his face change into many expressions. There was surprised in his blue eyes when it grew larger and wider with his eyebrows pointing up, I was expecting him to jump out or anything but I did not expect the change of his lips twitching slowly into a smirk with a hint of…dare I say, delight.

  "You bet on a guy who loves sex to not have sex for more than a month?" He asked me and slightly chuckled, shaking his head while he leaned on his chair.

  The waiter came and took our orders after I stared at Nick. I waited until the waiter left us alone and faced my brother again. "Yes I know, told you it's stupid."

  "He actually said yes?"

  I didn't answer and just shrugged, letting the topic drop. I knew if I'd speak another word about Carson then I would be dead meat. Instead I focused on mom and dad talking on whatever they were discussing.

  * * *

  Later that night I got ready for my date.

  Yep! You've guessed it!

  After Carson dropped me by at my house after the whole bet thing the other day, I felt kind of pissed off when I entered my room. It was probably because of the devil himself...but it was also because it turned out that there was a sudden blackout in town. And then I didn't know why but I suddenly picked up my phone in the dark and called Kyle, agreeing that I would like to go out on a date with him again.

  After hanging up I just realized what I just did.

  What was up with me doing something without thinking right?

  So for tonight, I decided to wear this simple dark blue dress that hung above my knees and had this sparkling glitter across the waist that looked so nice with silver heels. My face was painted with nice soft make-up and I piled my hair into a neat bun.

  "Remember, your dad and I will be out for dinner too and Nick is at John's house so if you don't want to be alone tonight you can spend the night with Kyle." Mom suggested as she put lipstick on her lips in front of my mirror beside me.

  "Mother, are you suggesting that I spend the whole night...with a boy?" I asked in disbelieved.

  Mom rolled her eyes and went out of my room, I followed suit. "Honey, it's not like you're still a virgin, right?"

  I blushed hard at this. We haven't actually talked about this conversation again. Mom would normally butt in in my business (especially this kind of business) but she didn't say a word...well until tonight, that is. "M-mom."

  The doorbell rang suddenly and I mentally wished that it hadn't. Mom shoved me gently toward the door for me to open. A fine looking Kyle in a comfortable dress shirt underneath a jacket was standing in front of me with a huge smile plastered on his face. I forgot that he looked beautifully handsome.

  "You look gorgeous." He said in dazed as his eyes scanned my body from head to toe. I smiled at him and grabbed my jacket near the door.

  "Shall we go?"

  He nodded and I linked my arm in his as he gave me one of his dazzling smiles again. We said our goodbyes to my mom and we headed to his car. It was crazy to go out with Kyle again. This was my ex, the guy (the ONLY guy) I have ever dated with. The only ex I have and now I found myself inside his car again. "Where are we going?" I asked as we drove away.

  He glanced at me slightly and gave me a cocky grin. "You'll see."

  I did see, and what I was seeing now was his gorgeous face and the way the light from the streets lightened a part of him...making a dark silhouette across his face. Why did he ask me out again? Maybe he liked me again? Or he still liked me all along and wanted to change his bad perverted ways? That was why he asked me out right? If only he didn't talk about sex that much and being a great pervert he was then I would never have ended our relationship. Me being a good person still kept a nice friendship with him. Even though it was different than the relationship we had before. I didn't know why but now as I watched him driving, I had the urge to kiss him.

  I shook my head and looked away from him. I could've sworn Carson's face lit up just a second ago. Ugh! What is wrong with that guy? Why ruin my date? Why now? Why ever?

  "You okay?"

  I looked up at Kyle and gave him a tug on my lips which I hoped looked like a smile. "Yeah, why do you ask?"

  He shrugged. "You seemed to space out and frown. What were you thinking?"

  "Oh you know, just some…thoughts."

  "About what?"

  A guy, more specifically about Carson. "Nothing important, now where are you actually taking me?" I asked, trying to end the topic and enjoy my night without Carson disturbing mind.

  That was when I felt the car stop. "Look ahead," I could feel the smile in his voice.

  It was a fancy restaurant and I remember it clearly it was the place of our very first date. God, it seemed like sophomore year all over again when he took me here. This felt so weird like a big déjà vu as we walked hand in hand into the restaurant, I mentally noted myself to not do anything stupid because the last time we were here I bumped into a waiter and then he went stumbling with a big crash of glasses and well-paid foods.

  Oh the humiliation.

  We were showed to our table and Kyle seemed to remember the little incident as we sat down. "I hope we don't meet that waiter again."

  I groaned silently. "Don't remind me."

  He gave me a sly grin before ordering his food. Our dinner went better than I had expected and I found myself enjoying the dating stuff again. I mean, it has been a while since I dated somebody. We laughed and talked, danced to a couple pf slow songs and I couldn't help but to smile the whole time!

  We finished our dinner and stepped out in the cold with our body pressed against each other. He wrapped an arm around me possessively as the wind started to pick up.

  "Let's have a walk." Kyle suggested and I leaned myself against his body. He guided me across the road and I smiled at how cute we must look.

  "Where are we going?"

  "Here." We stepped inside the small park ahead of us and walked around it in silence. The snow was starting to flow down and I grinned at how perfect this night was.

  "So, where are you going after high school?" I asked after a moment of silence, trying to start a decent conversation between us.

  Kyle just shrugged and looked down. "I'm not quite sure. I want to be a great architect one day but dad wants me to be a lawyer. Tough choice."

  "Ah, that kind of problem."

  "Yeah, where's Nick going?"

  I leaned closer to Kyle to make myself warmer. "I think he wants to continue dad's life of a doctor."

  Kyle sighed. "Ah, that kind of thing."

  I chuckled and stopped in front of him. "You know, if you want to be an architect then be. No one can stop you from living your dreams, not even your father."

  "Yeah, well say that to my father."

  I grinned and step forward. "Nah, I'd rather see you try."

  Without any signs, Kyle suddenly stepped forward and cupped my face in his hands. Whoa, his expression was becoming serious. The humor was gone and I felt my stomach kicking inside of me repeatedly. I forgot how his eye could haunt me and hypnotize me like crazy, I forgot how gorgeous he was and how amazingly he smelt. I closed my eyes and felt a pang of guiltiness that was even stupid for me to feel.

  Oh god, there we go again with Carson's face.

  "Maggie, I know I screwed up everything and it took me this long to approach you again. It's just that I didn't know how you really felt about me and I know I was being such a pig when we dated but…I never stopped liking you." Kyle breathed ou
t and I could feel his minty breath against my cheek. W-why was he saying this so suddenly?

  "Kyle…"

  "And then you become close with Malloy and I didn't know what you see in that guy—"

  My eyes popped out. "What about me and Carson?"

  "—and I went all jealous and I…I wanted you more ever since." He took a deep breath and continued, "Will you give me another chance? Maggie, you don't know how I want to be yours again. I promise I'll make it up to you."

  Say yes…or no? Consider or no? Push or…pull in?

  I didn't know, all I knew that I was anxiously waiting for Kyle to close the gap between our lips as I tiptoed. I didn't know how I actually felt, okay? I just wanted to remember how it felt kissing the guy again. No guiltiness attached.

  All of a sudden I heard a moving sound behind the bushes to my right so I stepped back and looked at that direction. I was the type to be scared of ghost but this sound sure sounded familiar. Like a voice I heard of somewhere…

  I turned to Kyle. "Did you hear that?"

  He shrugged and cupped my face again and leaned closer. "Probably some dogs—"

  "No wait, I think it's somebody."

  Before I knew what I was doing (Here we go again with me doing things without thinking) I reached into the bushes and walked around the big tree, curiosity was overwhelming me. I reached at the back of the huge trunk...and I stopped dead in my tracks.

  Oh god, he was making out with a girl. That girl. Out of the entire unsuspected thing why did this have to happen! They stopped kissing and turned my way realizing I was watching them. They gaped at me.

  I couldn't take it anymore. I was more than surprised.

  I turned and ran away ignoring them calling my name.

  Strange Relationship

  "Oh my god! Oh my god! OH. MY. GOD!"

  I shook my head again to clear away the lip lock session I just saw. Nope, no good. It kept on coming and rushing back to me. Out of the things I have never thought it would ever happen why did I have to find out this way? This ridiculous, horrible way.