Because It's Not Love

by Kitty Parker

  "Maggie, we can explain!"

  "Maggie, don't be mad!"

  I turned around quickly and glared at both of them. "Why? W-why do I have to find out this way?" I asked my mind out.

  Lisa gave me an apologetic look. "We thought no one could see us—"

  "So that's why you both made out in a public place? Score." I rolled my eyes and pointed at Nick. "And you! You're making out with my best friend! Why? I'm sorry I have to say this but you're a dick and I don't want you ruining her feelings!"

  What surprised me the most was his comeback. "Oh and you say this when you're practically screwing my best friend too?"

  How did he—

  I shook my head and pretended that I wasn't surprised he knew about Carson and I. Sure I felt so embarrassed that my own brother knew I had sex with his friend but this was their problem we were talking about! Not mine. I raised an eyebrow. "Too?"

  Both of their cheeks went a shade of dark red. Oh for the love of god!

  "Lisa! The least you could do was to tell me! I tell you everything, I even told you about Carson...even though I was kind of late on telling you it." I added quietly as I crossed my arm and ignored the fact that Nick was now sure about the thing I had with Carson. If you could consider it as a 'thing'.

  "I know, and I'm so sorry you have to find out this way. It's just that you were with Carson, no blood attached with me. And Nick…your brother and you're my best friend…well…"

  I remembered at the Indian restaurant earlier when I thought how weird it would be if Lisa and Nick hooked up for only sex. And now… I was too busy minding my unexisting love life that I didn't think of hers.

  Or maybe this happened not a while ago?

  Oh this was killing me.

  "This is too much to handle." I muttered as I looked away. What the hell were they even trying to do in the bushes? God!

  I was about to yell at them for not telling me any sooner when I caught Kyle watching me with a smile, leaning against his car. He waved at me slowly before casually leaning again on his car. God, how could he still stay so sweet?

  Oh screw Nick and Lisa! I had a wonderful time until they ruined this night, my night. I was supposed to hang out and have a lovely dinner, I was even about to kiss a nice and wonderful guy but nooo, they just had to ruin my night.

  "I'll deal with you guys later, Kyle's still waiting for me."

  Now both of them realized that Kyle was across the street. Nick gaped at him, giving him a small glare before he snapped at me with a tone I didn't appreciate. "Now that's not fair! Don't I get to be angry that you are too having an affair with my best friend?"

  I narrowed my eyes. "Why is it about me now? I'm the one who just saw you guys, if you knew about me and Carson a while ago then you should have asked about it with me and not now when you're caught!"

  Surprised at how right my outburst was Nick took a step forward and glared at me. "You know, I was getting worried and kind of scared that you were having a sex relationship with the most playboy in school and now I'm confused seeing Kyle waiting for you. Between Carson and you I don't know which one's the slut now."

  I bawled my hand into a fist as I gasped in surprise at his stupid, harsh words. His face suddenly went softer as he looked at me apologetically, it seemed like he just understood what he said to me. Even Lisa was gaping at Nick, my blood related brother! "Nick!" Lisa shouted at him.

  I took a step backward and glared at him. "I can't believe you're my brother, we hardly even fight and now I remember why I hate it when we do." I was kind of on the bridge of tears (as embarrassing as that sounded) so I quickly looked away, not wanting them to see me like this.

  Nick sighed after a moment of awkward silence. "Maggie, you know how I get when I'm angry. I'm so sorry—"

  "No, let's just talk when we're ready. Well, when I'm ready. But whatever." I turned around and made my way to Kyle, getting inside his car and ignoring my brother and my best friend behind.

  After a long silence inside the car where I calmed myself and wiped away the small tears on my cheek, I finally looked at Kyle. I was glad that Kyle understood me to leave me alone when I get sad and angry. "I'm sorry you saw that."

  He smiled at me. "It's fine, I'm sorry everything happened."

  "Yeah, I'm sorry too." I watched buildings past us in the dark cold windy night. It was weird to have a fight with Nick; I always know that whenever he gets mad he would speak before he thinks; a bad habit of him. But I didn't know it would feel this miserable when I got the bomb.

  "It's better if you get some rest now but I'm thinking you don't want to go home and meet your brother now, right?"

  He was right, I didn't have any strength to deal with Nick. But where should I go? I couldn't go to Lisa's…and I couldn't (or shouldn't) be anywhere at this time of night by myself. I looked over at Kyle; the funny thing was…I didn't want to be with Kyle as well. Sure I wanted to kiss him back there but I just well…it didn't feel so right right now. "And by the look of your expression you don't want to be with me either."

  I blushed and looked away. Damn it. I heard him chuckle before he caught my attention again. "I know just the place where you want to, or perhaps need to go."

  I snapped my head at him. "Where to? Where are you taking me?"

  "Relax, I know what I'm doing."

  I held tight on my seat belt and gave him a look. "You're not going to murder me, are you?"

  "Why would I do that?" He laughed.

  I glanced at him and saw that he looked calm and still good-looking. I crossed my fingers hoping that I wouldn't get raped. Though getting raped by a handsome guy…you know what they say, if you can't fight then might as well enjoy it. I shook my head at the disgusting thoughts my mind was making.

  I felt the car stop and looked outside to see a familiar looking house. Oh my god, he did not just take me here. I turned to Kyle with my mouth still hanging open. "Wha-?"

  He rolled his eyes. "Don't act too surprised, I quite heard what you and Nick were talking about."

  I couldn't believe this. First, he was so charming to take me out on a beautiful date. Second, he wanted me back and confessed his feelings. Third, he got interrupted and waited for me to end my problem with Nick (Which isn't over yet, insert sigh here) and last he heard everything. God he knew, he liked me and he knew about Carson and…and…he took me here, to Carson's big fat mansion.

  I smiled at Kyle. He really did change; he was so much more being a gentlemen. But he was just too late that I think my feelings for him wasn't as big as before. I wanted him as a friend now and nothing more. He was too late; he should've been this good when we were dating back then. "Kyle, I'm so sorry about everything."

  He looked at me seriously and I touched his cheek; he rested his head on my palm. "I'm sorry too. I wish I still could have you, now I'm too late."

  I sighed and grabbed his collar, gave him a last peck on his lips and pulled away, receiving a sad smile from him. I smiled again and stepped out of the car and waited for him to go. He rolled down the window and looked at me. "I hope you and Nick finish this quickly."

  I nodded. "Hopefully. Thanks Kyle." I waved him goodbye.

  He shifted gear and smiled at me sweetly. "Bye Margaret." And with that he drove his car away.

  I finally turned around and faced the big house in front of me.

  What. The. Hell. Was. I. Thinking?

  Even though I wasn't sure that I really wanted to be near Carson I still walked into his driveway and made my way in. Well I didn't know where else to go. A maid let me in and I found myself looking around for a dark headed guy. Hearing a sound from the kitchen I turned around and headed there but only to stopped in my tracks when I realized it wasn't Carson…nor was it Cameron (oh how I wish it was Cameron!).

  "Dr. Malloy," I greeted in surprised. Seeing Carson's father here was strange. He works at the same hospital as dad and I know that dad and he are close but watching him reading the paper dressed so casually in his kitchen..
.was weird.

  Dr. Malloy smiled at me. "What's with the formal names? You can call me Travis and you know that, your brother calls me that to. Come, sit and talk with the old man!" He was gesturing for the chair beside him on the dining table.

  I shifted my feet and gave him a small smile. "It's okay Dr—um, Travis. I just needed to see…uh, your son for a while."

  "So that's what brings you here. I'm surprised to see you standing there," Dr. Mal—Travis said. I wanted to say 'Right back at you!' but that would be too…yeah, you know what I mean.

  "Yeah, I kind of need to see him." I hope I didn't sound like I was here because I wanted to have sex with him.

  "Sure, sure. He's in his room. You know where it is, right?"

  I nodded and smiled at Carson's father before I excused myself. I made my way upstairs and yawned, rubbing my eyes. I took a deep breath and knocked on his door gently before opening it and caught him on his bed wearing a white shirt that fitted him perfectly with his black boxers. He was lying there while reading a magazine—oh god, was that a Playboy magazine? He looked up when he heard his door closing quietly and I saw a shock expression on his gorgeous face.

  He looked at me briefly before he stopped at my face and blankly said, "You look like shit."

  It must have been the black marks under my eyes of the mascara and eyeliner from when I rubbed my eyes. I scowled at him and strode across his big wardrobe. For a guy like him, his clothes were too much and too classy. I picked out a big shirt that hopefully could cover my thigh and went straight to his bathroom.

  I glanced at my reflection and groaned quietly, washing my face and changing into his shirt. It was big enough to cover me until above my knees. I folded my dress and opened the bathroom door only to find him still gaping at me, I bet he was surprised I was here even though he told me I looked like shit. Even though I cleaned my face I still felt a little intimidating by his eyes as he watched every of my movement as I placed my dress on his table.

  I walked over to his bed and looked down at him and felt glad that he had put away his playboy magazine. "I'm sleeping over here." I stated while I crossed my arm.

  He looked shock but didn't show most of it as he raised his eyebrows. "May I ask why?"

  I sighed and sat on his bed. "Nick and I had a fight."

  "And I have anything to do with this because…"

  "Well your name was mentioned here and there…"

  "So?"

  Oh god he was so annoying! "You don't understand! We had this huge fight and not because of some stupid thing."

  He sighed and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and opened his eyes again. His eyes were a bit red and he seemed a little off. Was he was tired? I felt kind of bad for disturbing him like this. He yawned and didn't had the decency to close his big mouth. Stupid pig. "So, what happened?"

  I sighed. "It's okay; you seem so sleepy right now. I'll tell you about it in the morning."

  "Tell me now or I'll kick you out of my house."

  Nice, just real nice.

  I stared at him for a while before I decided to just get this over with. "I kind of…found out that Nick and Lisa were…are...well, more than friends."

  I saw him frown deeply at me. "You didn't know?"

  I swear my bad feelings for him went flushing down the toilet! I hit his thigh hard enough to make his eyes bolt up. "You knew and you didn't tell me?"

  "Well I thought your kind of knew 'cause it's pretty obvious they kept on giving 'signals' if you know what I mean." For a person who looked pretty tired, he still had the strength to smirk at me.

  I knew he wasn't that much tired now because I just hit him hard but then he yawned again. Pig. I continued. "Anyway, I found out in a very awkward way. It was when I had a date with Kyle—"

  His eyes snapped at me with an expression I couldn't understand. "You and Kyle had a…date?"

  "You didn't think I went straight from my house to here wearing that dress, did you?"

  He shrugged. "I thought you had a family dinner or something, sensing the part where you just found out about Nick so you guys must've met a few hours ago."

  "Make that a few minutes ago."

  "But still, you and Kyle had a…date?"

  "Is it so hard to say the word date?" He didn't answer me. "Okay fine, we did have a great evening. In fact, it was great. He wanted me back again and—"

  "You don't have to tell me."

  I giggled and continued. "I just wanted him as a friend, nothing more. That's why I'm at your house now and not with him, you know."

  "Oh."

  I grinned at seeing him jealous. Carson might not admit that he was getting jealous so I liked seeing him like this. "Yeah, oh. Can I continue about Nick again now?" He nodded lamely and stared back at the ceiling. "It was horrible. Kyle and I went walking in the park when I heard something from the bushes, it turned out that my brother and my best friend were sticking each others tongue down each others throat." I cringed and shivered as the sight of them haunting my mind again.

  I shook my head for no reason as I continued on. "Then we became angry with one another and started shouting…and it turned out that…um…oh how do I say this? Well, Nick…I think Nick kind of knows about…well, uh, us."

  He frowned again. "You didn't know that he knew about us?"

  I hit him hard again. Ugh! He was so getting on my nerves right now! "You knew and you didn't tell me?" I hit him again and again and again…

  He grabbed my wrists but it didn't stop me from fidgeting...so his hold became a lot tighter. "You have got to stop hitting me."

  "Why didn't you tell me?"

  He pulled me down so I was lying beside his strong body and close enough for me to smell his sweet masculine scent. I shivered. "Relax, jeez woman."

  "Carson, don't make me hit you again."

  He rolled his eyes. "Listen, I didn't tell you until now because technically I knew that he knew not long ago."

  I looked at him with confusion. "What do you mean?"

  He sighed and decided that I won't hit him again, he let go of my wrist. "Today, this afternoon around lunch. He called me and asked whether you and I had a 'thing' going on…to be honest, I was shocked that he asked a question like that out of nowhere. I went quiet and didn't answer him nor did I deny. The funny thing was he laughed afterwards and then he hung up on me. I wanted to call him back but I was still too shocked to even grab my cell phone again."

  I shifted on his bed and watched him as he explained everything. Okay, that was weird. Something must be going on with Nick. What confused me the most was if he laughed when he asked Carson but he went mad when he talked with me…I asked Carson this.

  "How was he mad? He couldn't be that angry, right?"

  "You know how Nick speaks before he thinks whenever he's mad?" Carson nodded. I looked away from him and stared at his ceiling pretending that something on his wall above us was more interesting than the guy beside me. "He was like that. I know he didn't mean all the things he said, but still. It hurts."

  "What did he say?"

  I closed my eyes and took a heavy deep breath trying to control my emotions as the words stung in my head again. "Well, he kind of said that I was...a slut." I closed my eyes and cursed my stupid emotional feelings.

  I felt a thumb on my cheek. I didn't even know I was crying silently if it wasn't for his thumb wiping a tear away. I felt him wrapping his arms around me and I sighed in pleasure at the warm feeling he was radiating. It felt too good. It felt too nice and more importantly it felt just right.

  "You're not a slut and you know that." I merely nodded as I leaned closer to him, breathing along his wonderful scent that he had. If I moved any closer my lips would be touching his salty skin. I wanted to know how he would react.

  Oh screw the stupid bet.

  Slowly but sure I leaned onto him and brushed my lips gently on his neck. I felt him stiffen under me when his arm tightened around my waist. I grinned and trailed closer, with my heart p
ounding hard I tasted his skin and sucked on the spot. I was giving him a hickey I thought giddily. I didn't know why I was this brave.

  He suddenly pulled away and looked at me meaningfully, like he was asking a question. I smiled at him slowly and without any warning he crashed his lips onto mine. We kissed with hunger that I never knew existed inside me. It felt nice that his lips tasted like peppermint and the way he bit my bottom lip seductively made me feel like as if I was flying to heaven. I could do this forever.

  As much as I wanted to strangle him and have passionate sex with him right now, he pulled away, but not too far. He hugged me again, holding me close in his arms as he I felt him kiss the top of my hair lightly. I wanted to do something naughty to him but he didn't let me move a muscle. He just held me tighter and rocked my body gently.

  I sighed and moved closer to him. Arms and legs tangled and my face pressed against his chest, we stayed like that for the night.

  * * *

  He was acting strange and I could sense it.

  Since this morning he was acting so awkward around me I don't even know why. Like now he was avoiding any eye contact with me as we sat on his dining table just the two of us. I asked about why his father was here yesterday and why he wasn't here this morning but he just shrugged his shoulders and strode away pouring himself a bowl of cereal.

  It actually started when I woke up from our sleep. I opened my eyes and found his arm around my waist, I thought about what I to do and decided if I should do it or not. My eyes traveled his face and admired the perfect bone structure he has. I stared at him and thought how beautiful he slept, unlike me I guess. My eyes stopped at his parted lips and I had the urge to wake him up. I did.

  I pressed my lips warmly onto his and trailed his wonderful lips with my tongue. It felt so nice just kissing him like that. At first I felt him waking up but then his hand cupped my face and he kissed me back…I said at first. Secondly he pushed me away and looked surprised while he stared at me. I gave him a confusing look but he got out of bed and mumbled how I could use the bathroom in his room while he used the one in the hallway.