Blood, Sweat and Demon Tears (The Grateful Undead series Book 3)

by Susan Stec

  "On the contrary, it is my decision to make," Lily said. She tucked her pink Lelli Kelly beaded tennis shoes up under her legs, Indian-style, and smiled at Jeni. "And although Christopher is not yet in total agreement, the blood exchange is critical to my ability to come back. We must all convince him to participate.

  "Father is telling Mother that he will give up partial custody of me, but has no intention of doing so. Father and Lord Rahovart, tormentor of the affluent and companion of Satan, have other plans for my future that would make it impossible for me to return to Earth. A blood exchange with Christopher would make their plans to contract me as the Gatekeeper of Hell unacceptable in our realm. I do not wish to take on that role. I wish to have both worlds. And if Mother agrees, and they both sign the custody agreement in their mingled blood, without the clause intact, Father can pull me back forever."

  Jeni's eyes looked like saucers, nostrils flared as she sucked in air. "You mean the contract would be null and void if he makes you the Gatekeeper?"

  "Yes, and Mother is unaware of this," Lily said as she turned to face the group in the field. "I must be allowed to stay here and discuss this with Christopher, and I need the help of the others, to do so. Mother cannot accept Father's demands to change that clause."

  The Suburban sped by with Dorius at the wheel, and Jeni locked the doors on the van. "On second thought, I'll wait right here with you. Go ahead and try again to contact your mother; meanwhile, I'll buzz your Aunt Susan on the communications device and tell her what you just told me, okay, sweetie?"

  "That would be an excellent idea, Cousin Jeni. Uncle Marcus is about to send the contract back to Mother. Hurry, please." Lily settled back in the seat and closed her eyes. Her expression was one of deep concentration.

  * * * *

  "Holy shit!" I yelled into my microphone as the Suburban came down the dirt road in front of the communications van, leaving a trail of dust in its wake.

  "What?" Mom asked from over my shoulder.

  As I ran towards Marcus, I yelled back, "I've got to stop him or we lose Lily forever!"

  Marcus was about twenty yards ahead of me, holding the Hell phone open in his hand. We all read the contract and decided that having Lily return tonight would be in everyone's best interest, especially in light of the whole Christopher thing.

  "Marcus, don't press 'send'!" I screamed.

  Marcus jumped and juggled the Abyss-to-Earth cell phone before turning to me with a frown. "Why not?"

  Christ, he picks now to stay out of my head. Men! Can't do two things at once. "Just don't do it. If you were in my head, you'd know why."

  "Ohhh, surrre, now you want me inside your head," he said.

  I mentally shot him an exasperated sigh as the Suburban skidded to a stop in the clearing. Walking back to the others, I mentally briefed Marcus. A smile spread across my face when Sonny embraced Betty with gratitude. She'd been the contributing factor in making us see the new immortal's plight. Poor guy; sure he was the rogue we were all looking for. But hell, he didn't even know other immortals existed, and was fending for himself the only way he knew how. Contacting Mom was a last resort. The immortals in my family could all sympathize with him. We'd all been there.

  Dorius jumped from the car and he wasn't smiling. In a heartbeat, he had Sonny up against a tree on the other side of the clearing, fangs inches from the immortal's neck.

  Everyone shrieked, "Wait!"

  Several things happened rapidly.

  Sonny struggled, his glasses flying from his face, and his fangs extended, but he was no match for Dorius.

  Betty shot toward them, sassy and angry. "Dorius! Let go o' 'im or I'm gonna kick yer ass all the way to Texas an' back!"

  A herd of animals burst from the woods around Sonny—a big herd. Gators, badgers, a couple of bears, several coyotes, raccoons, a shitload of squirrels, but I abruptly stopped counting species when Sonny started to change form.

  I watched in awe as his body lengthened, and his clothes slid off. His legs and arms disappeared, while scales formed, and in mere seconds, he shifted into a really big ass snake; a boa constrictor that would put Monty to shame. Well, hell, he certainly hadn't enlightened any of us about his other side.

  The snake coiled around Dorius like lightning whipping a stormy sky.

  Mom was rolling around on the ground with a gator; probably missing the whole thing. I jumped over her, yelling, "Sonny's a snake!"

  "And a boa," Christopher yelled, running toward them. "Screw Monty. Think before you bite, Dorius!"

  Paul, still in wolf form, leapt and pounced. With a snarl, he attacked ferociously, leaving a pile of squirrel carcasses in his wake, as I zigzagged around them.

  On my right, I watched Warren jump on a bear's back—while Zaire attacked the animal from the front, her fangs digging into dark brown fur.

  On my left, Resi stood encircled by coyotes, her knife drawn, and lips in a snarl. "Who's first?"

  Christopher bolted for the communications van, passing Gibbie as the fairy flew into the clearing. "The rogue is a freakin' boa. How cool is that? Don't let Dorius kill him!"

  Gibbie, sword swinging, buzzed in circles, chopping at a badger that was leaping up at him. "Busy at the moment!"

  Marcus was trying to pull the snake off Dorius when I finally got there.

  Betty kept beating Dorius on the top of his head; the only part of his body not covered by snake. "Let go o'Sonny! He didn't do anything wrong! At least, listen to 'im!"

  Somewhere from under the snake, Dorius said, "The gods be damned, woman, he's holding me!"

  I realized I was just standing there, taking in all the action. I grabbed Sonny's tail, but the snake unraveled faster than it took to coil and slithered up the tree. "I want him on our critter control team!" I yelled at Dorius. He gave me nasty eyes.

  That's when Betty began to vibrate. She swung out her arms, eyes jumping from one hand to the other as each of her painted acrylic nails popped off and fell to the ground. Mouth wide, she collapsed on the grass, her bones cracking, and skin shrinking. Two wings burst through the skin on her back, shredding her clothes, and before I could blink, she was a hawk, flying upwards toward Sonny.

  Dorius slid to the ground, looking up. "Did my blessed mate just shift into a hawk?"

  Momentarily frozen in place, my mouth hanging open, I heard the hawk shriek, and watched it land on a branch near the coiled snake. I finally found my voice. "Come on! We need her in Critter Control, too!"

  Dorius looked from me to the motley pair in the tree. "There will be testing... amazing... my mate is... nobody works with her but me!"

  Gibbie flew up, hovering in front of our faces, his sword swinging. "Ya think? Hawk—big ass constrictor—who do you think is gonna be dinner? You want I should bring out the Cyclops?"

  Before Dorius could answer, the ground vibrated under us and a thunderous roar filled the air. Jake tore through the woods into the clearing, trees snapping in his path. He was in full dragon form; thirty-feet from head to tail, layered in multihued purple scales, pumping shimmering wings that blew debris, vamp-critters, and dirt everywhere. The dragon tossed his horned-head back, his tail whipping, and roared with a maw of long, sharp teeth. As he lifted off the ground, he shot a flame down the river at the edge of the field, scorching the brush along the bank.

  Dorius glanced up and calmly said, "You even touch a hair..., ahem, feather on her head, and it will be grounds for immediate destruction by fire, snake. He flipped a finger from Gibbie to the dragon. "Handle that! Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid."

  Gibbie buzzed up into the air after Jake.

  I was still watching Gibbie and the beautiful, but deadly, purple dragon, circling high, banking for another run, when Dorius yelled, "Marcus!"

  Dorius was on the ground, a brown bear with wicked long fangs held his foot in its mouth, and was tugging.

  As Marcus ran towards Dorius, he threw a knife that penetrated shank deep into the center of the bear's back. The b
ear whipped around, stood tall, arms stretched, eyes glittering anger. Dorius and Marcus each took up really cool fighting positions, their knees bent and arms spread. The bear bellowed a loud, angry growl, its huge fangs ominous and threatening.

  Jake shot another blast of fire, circling the field, probably trying to keep the wildlife from scampering off.

  Fire and a field full of vamps. Swell. I didn't know about the rest of them, but I sure as hell didn't want my thong going up in a blaze of glory. I cast my shield, encompassing everyone on the ground. Only problem was, the vamp-animals were also trapped inside the shield.

  I shot a glance down the dirt road and watched Christopher climbing into the communications van. I circled my hand in the air, signaling Jeni to get the hell out of here. We'd already lost two vans in another fire created by the dragon on our last mission. Jeni made a three point turn and I watched the taillights disappear down the road.

  Marcus and Dorius rolled off the bear; all three covered in blood.

  Vamps started circling the animals.

  Mom held up the head of a gator and howled, "That was exhilarating!" She tossed it on the ground and headed for another gator that was clawing at the shield.

  "Susan, break the damn force field," Dorius hollered. "Elizabeth is still out there in a tree with a rogue, surrounded by fire!"

  I decided not to tell him they were buds. "No way," I said, watching the flames lick the outer edges of the field.

  "You want I should toss her at it?" Warren asked Dorius, one foot on the chest of his last conquest.

  "You and who else?" Zaire's boot claimed her half of the dead bear. She grabbed Warren by the chest, and they rolled off the bear, fangs straining for veins.

  Everyone knew that if I touched the shield, it would disintegrate. I moved to the center of the circle.

  "Break the goddamned shield or I'll break it right after I break your neck!" Dorius yelled, glaring at me.

  Marcus hissed and stepped in front of me.

  Resi, in between slashing and stabbing coyotes, yelled, "Let Dorius out and then put the shield back up!"

  Before I could consider her suggestion, about fifty squirrels hammered me to the ground, all sporting fangs. "A little help here," I grunted, butt cheeks hanging out, squirrel fangs penetrating flesh as I reached for the knife tucked inside my hip boot.

  Marcus leapt on top of me, momentarily scattering the critters.

  "Oh for Christ's sake!" I wiggled under him as I slashed. He hissed at the squirrels that were gathering to make a second attempt.

  I kicked the last squirrel carcass into the nice, neat pile Marcus and I amassed, while wiping my bloody hands on his shirt with a big grin. He was looking for something else to attack.

  Several raccoons, squirrels, two badgers, a frigging porcupine, and a fox, formed a line and started marching toward us.

  I moved back a step, glaring at the porcupine. I'd been attacked by two of the little buggers and was well aware that they were capable of shooting quills, which hurt like hell.

  Mom tossed another gator part at the line of immortal creatures still looking for blood, and then using both hands, wiggled her fingers, and sent vamp-animals bouncing off the force field in all directions.

  Half of us looked like baseball fans, leaping over each other trying to catch a foul ball in a packed stadium. The other half looked like quarterbacks, dodging opposing players. Suddenly, the porcupine made like a rocket-propelled weapon, projecting its quills—with Dorius' back as its target.

  Betty and Sonny stood outside of the shield, both in human form, and both completely naked.

  Dorius was livid. "Where are your clothes, woman?"

  Sonny covered his private parts with both hands, his face bright red.

  "Damn! Tell me those are surgically enhanced," I said, looking at Betty's large, perky breasts.

  Dorius glared at me as he pulled quills from his shoulders and ass. "Susan, break this shield immediately!"

  "Nope. These gals are God-given." Betty put her hands on her bare hips and strutted to the edge of the force field, flames backlighting her curvaceous silhouette. "Hey, you," she said, getting Dorius' attention. "Go on. Do yer job. Kill something, 'cause the shield ain't comin' down 'til they're all dead," she said. "Then ya might just get out… after we talk about Sonny. Am I makin' myself clear, sugar?"

  ~~~~

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  ~~~~

  Jeni stopped the van at the end of the dirt road, turned around, and peeked through the two front seats. "Were you able to contact your mother, sweetie?" she asked.

  Lily smiled at Jeni. "No, but Uncle Marcus is going to send the contract, explaining to Father that he agrees with Mother. Father will not be happy, but he will compromise if Mother agrees to shorten my stay on Earth to one week. She will accept and will be arriving here shortly."

  "Here? Where's here?" Christopher wanted to know.

  Lily pointed down the dirt trail in the direction they'd just come from.

  "Surely," Jeni said, "you don't mean your father is sending your mother into that field of fire, do you, Lily?"

  Lily nodded and Christopher laughed. "Oh, this is gonna be good." He opened the back door of the van and hopped out.

  Lily said, "We must talk, Christopher."

  "We will, girl," Christopher replied, sliding the van door shut on her next words. He ran up the dirt road, mumbling, "Just don't want to miss the arrival of my future mate's mother."

  * * * *

  With piles of dead vamp-critters scattered around us, Betty was arguing with Dorius from outside the shield. She ordered me to keep the shield up; Dorius kept ordering me to take it down. I chose to listen to Betty, simply because it pissed Dorius off. But I finally had about all I could take when Paul morphed back into human form. Trying to keep my eyes off his well-toned, naked body, covered in animal blood was hard as hell. He looked damn sexy, bare-assed. When Marcus growled at me, and Paul grinned, I broke my shield.

  Dorius, leaning against the force field, arms spread, fell flat on his face, ending the argument he was currently defending. I tried not to laugh.

  He was back on his feet in a flash, and immediately interrupted both Betty's and Sonny's explanations with a rage-filled roar. He tore his shirt from his back, tossed it at Betty and then grabbed the new immortal and dragged him all the way to the Suburban, with Betty at his ass, screaming obscenities, and whipping him with his own shirt. Dorius shoved Sonny into the backseat, shut the door, and yelled at Warren, "Take him up the dirt road and wait there until we finish here!"

  Betty was beside herself. "Yer pissin' me off, darlin', an' when I have something important ta say, ya damn well better listen!"

  No one said a word. We all turned and began gathering vamp-critter carcasses, tossing them into the fire that was rapidly devouring the woods around the field. I watched Warren disappear through a tunnel of smoke on the dirt road, flames licking behind the Suburban. But at least, it was still some distance out. And damn it, I was ready to get out of these clothes. Fighting the critters had been a real eye-opening experience for Marcus, who found my attempts amusing. I wanted to slap the shit out of him.

  Dorius shoved one hand up in front of Betty's face and signaled Paul with the other. He pointed at the vehicle Mom had driven to the meeting and then the dirt road. I watched Paul's bare ass bounce across the field, and I instantly heard Marcus' growl in my head. Christ, I was just looking, and why the hell was he always watching what I was doing? I shot Marcus a furrowed brow to match his. I heard the engine turn over, and when Paul drove by, he waved at us with a big smile on his face. The bastard.

  Why must you find it necessary to give him ammunition? Marcus pushed.

  I ignored the question, yanked up my hip boots, pushing red curls out of my face, and started drop-kicking dead animals into the flames.

  A few minutes later, Marcus waved JoAnn's phone at me and mentally pushed, I've sent the contract and I strongly suggest we leave the area at
once, before the fire gets out of hand.

  Like I didn't get that. Sweat was running down the crack of my ass, bypassing my thong, dripping straight into my hip boots.

  Not to mention, if the authorities arrive, we will have questions to answer. He just wouldn't let up.

  I continued to ignore him and turned to find Dorius and Betty, who were still arguing a few feet away.

  Betty, finger-working Dorius' frown, said, "But it wasn't Sonny's goddamned fault if…"

  "I will hear no more of this, woman!" Dorius ground out as he pitched a squirrel so hard, it ricocheted off a tree fifteen feet in front of him and landed back at his feet. "It is not part of my job to judge and sentence. Sonny will have plenty of time to explain himself when he stands before the council."

  Betty ground the squirrel into the dirt with her foot and tugged on Dorius' shirt. "Don't you try ta tell me that what ya say doesn't…"

  "Enough!" Dorius yelled, pushing her back a step as he dug his fingers under the smashed animal and chucked it into the fire. Blue eyes blazing, he pointed a dirty finger at her. "You cannot change this!"

  Marcus growled in my head when flames shot across the dirt road and ignited the brush and grass, closing our only way out.

  The air filled with the smell of cooking meat and everyone ran in my direction, Marcus leading the pack.

  I was about to toss up my shield so we could discuss our options for getting the hell out of here when Christopher ran out of the fire and into the field, rolling in the dirt to put out the flames on his shirt and pants.

  "Get your ass over here," I shouted after he stood up, smoke dancing off his back. "What the hell were you thinking?"

  He scurried over, bitching all the way, "I'm not a goddamned kid—and I just saved your stupid little asses. I contacted Jeni and told her to signal Jake so he can lay us a path out of here. Any of you guys think of that?"

  "We would have." Although I'd totally forgotten about Jake's ability to suck up water and spray the field. Since no one else responded, I figured they'd forgotten too. I pulled up my shield.